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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here

811 replies

JessieMcJessie · 25/11/2015 11:38

A year ago today I started this thread

Any 40+ladies out there TTC #1?

and, 1000 posts later, it has filled up with the shared experiences of various fantastic women who find ourselves hoping to start a family after the age of 40. And listen out Daily Mail - not one of us deliberately "delayed motherhood" to concentrate on our careers or frivolous pursuits. By and large we just didn't meet the right person (or decide to go it alone) till we were quite long in the tooth.

Trying for a first at this age has its own special challenges. The old thread contains its fair share of sad tales of early miscarriage and disapointing test results. However it is also a great place for success stories and positive thinking and it has been a lifeline for me over the past year.

Although those who already have a child or children and are trying for more in their forties are welcome to join (and we absolutely understand the real pain of secondary infertility), part of the value of this thread is the opportunity to share experience amongst those of us for whom failure will mean no children at all, rather than a smaller family than we'd like. It's also a place where we all share a sense of total uncharted territory where pregnancy and childbrirth are concerned!

There are a number of stalwarts who have been with me from almost day one and I hope you'll join this new thread too, but we all hope to graduate eventually to the pregnancy boards so new joiners are very important! If your fortieth is looming it's fine to join a bit before.

A newish poster asked last week if people could post their "stats" and I think that's a good idea. So I'll kick it off (feel free to include whatever info you feel like giving):

Jessie McJessie 42, TTC since October 2014 (13 months) having only met my DH at the tender age of 38. 2 chemical pregnancies, one blocked tube, low AMH, one failed IUI, 1 failed IVF and about to start our second IVF. Just moved back to London after 6 years in Hong Kong.

So, off we go. We have a special skill at scouring the media for stories of celebs having babies over 40. And there's no such thing as TMI Grin.

OP posts:
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Loueeza · 11/02/2016 20:37

Yes, Jessie, I was taking progesterone morning and evening.

The nurse I spoke to on the phone the other day told me that most women don't get af until they stop these pessaries, but some still do. Your progesterone levels don't necessarily need to drop to 0.

I will mention it at my follow-up appointment, though.

Daisyboo1203 · 11/02/2016 18:19

I think the private doctors are keen on it, Jessie. I can't imagine the local system would do an hcg test.

I probably will get a blood test when it comes to it cos Both times I got a positive blood test even though hpt had been negative.
Hopefully this time I get a clear sign from hpt, that would be amazing!!!
But, just in case, I have just purchased enough cetrotide injections for a future FET, so I don't have to pay through the roof to get them in HK

Daisyboo1203 · 11/02/2016 18:14

I just thought, when it took a few weeks to get my period after stopping progesterone, that was officially an early miscarriage (hcg 200), so perhaps that's why it took longer to appear.

Original poster
JessieMcJessie · 11/02/2016 18:12

My HK GP ordered me bloods after a natural BFP and I also had them after IUI so it's definitely more common there than here.

OP posts:
Daisyboo1203 · 11/02/2016 18:10

Bloods is not typical for HK either. The clinic in Cyprus prefers this as it gives a more definite answer and can help to indicate multiples (also get progesterone tests at the same time to help let he clinic know if any meds need to be altered).
I will only get bloods if I get clear 'pregnant' on hpt, just cos of the ordeal of getting blood tests that were still not telling me either way.
I will decide properly nearer the time, as I have to go to a private clinic for blood test.

Original poster
JessieMcJessie · 11/02/2016 17:59

I think the difference though is that in HK getting a blood test for hcg levels is standard whereas in the UK after IVF they don't do that and pee stick is the only test till they scan you at 8 weeks. So if I understand correctly Daisy you're going UK style this time and doing pee stick but not bothering with the blood tests as they just cause extra worry?

Were you on progesterone Loueeza? My first failed cycle it stopped my AF from arriving but it did arrive within a day of stopping them (I was told to stop after negative (pee) test on test day). I wonder if the early AF is a sign of anything as my doctor asked specifically in the "debrief" whether mine had stayed away till I stopped the pessary was. Are you being offered a debrief consultation?

OP posts:
Loueeza · 11/02/2016 16:43

Daisy, totally hear you on the testing thing!

I was dreading having to test on a work morning and was actually considering delaying until I got home, even though they'd told me to do it first thing.

Fortunately (??) I ended up testing at the weekend, as I suspected (rightly) that af had arrived. Funny how our bodies all react differently, isn't it? I can't believe your af didn't come for a couple of weeks. Mine came in full force 3 days before test day, and has only just stopped.

Hope you are relaxing and enjoying this respite from all the appointments/testing etc.

Jessie, that's just amazing that you're nearly at that all-important milestone. What an inspiring achievement!! :-)

Daisyboo1203 · 11/02/2016 14:05

I just want to avoid the several blood tests and agonising wait to see if hcg has gone up or down. I guess there is no avoiding it.
Hopefully it will be easier the 3rd time round.

Daisyboo1203 · 11/02/2016 14:04

Ooh, 6 days! Fantastic!!
No, I won't wait it out! No chance, haha! Not with a draw full of cheapie Chinese tests!! At probably won't turn up til I stop progesterone, so can't rely on that. It took 2-3 weeks for my period to come last time after stopping meds.
I reckon I'll test the nearest weekend so I don't have to go to work that day, and leave the blood test for a few days.
We will see....

Original poster
JessieMcJessie · 11/02/2016 14:00

6 days and counting till the 12 week dating and nuchal translucency scan Daisy!

So are you just going to wait and see if AF turns up after about 2 and a half weeks? I can see why you would, but I reckon I'd still crack and do a test. Best of luck, will be thinking of you.

OP posts:
Daisyboo1203 · 11/02/2016 12:39

When is your next scan, Jessie?

Daisyboo1203 · 11/02/2016 12:39

It was all recommended stuff due to the implantation issues, Jessie. Hope it makes a different.

I can imagine after 2 months of the pessarues, it would be odd to stop them. Do you do it gradually or just stop?

I am not focus ing on the test date, cos the last 2 times it just led to a roller coaster of Hcg numbers...so I'm bracing myself for a extra week of emotional nonsense!!
So it's around 2 weeks.

Original poster
JessieMcJessie · 11/02/2016 12:08

Wow, you really are pushing the boat out Daisy! I have absolutely everything crossed for you and hope the Year of the Monkey is a lucky one for you.

when's your test date?

I finally stopped taking the pessaries last week - twice a day for two months has become quite a habit though and I sort of miss them :-)

OP posts:
Daisyboo1203 · 11/02/2016 08:49

Oh it is all fun...especially the pessaries!!!!

Kwick709 · 11/02/2016 07:48

Ooooo sounds like an interesting cocktail daisy....I am gonna see if I can get me somma that!

Daisyboo1203 · 10/02/2016 21:11

Blastgen, intralipids, immune protocol (prednisolone) and the other after IVF meds.

Kwick709 · 10/02/2016 21:02

What are your extra bells and whistles? I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!

Daisyboo1203 · 10/02/2016 20:44

I wish I knew the secret to getting them to stick!!
It hasn't stuck twice before, despite rising hcg.
Hopefully the extra bells and whistles I'm having this time will help.
I think it's just luck and a bit of magic!

Kwick709 · 10/02/2016 20:22

daisyboo thanks :) so much still to learn!!!

So what is the secret to getting them to stick???!!!!

I just found out that my friend from work did 4 rounds of ivf - 4th time lucky! That was 12 years ago so I would hope the chances have improved (alongside the technology).

AnnieHoo · 10/02/2016 19:24

I'm laughing at chewy fainting at 4!
3 sounds great daisy, and 3 frosties - perfect.
I see a chipmunk!!!

Big news in this house tonight is that I'm going to be a great aunt!! Dh's nephew's wife is expecting. I'm really happy for them. It's the way things are meant to be. They're young and so good together.

Daisyboo1203 · 10/02/2016 11:04

Another lady at the same clinic had 4 transfered too, she just got BFP today.
I think 3 is more sensible. Also the way I look at it, if it doesn't work then I don't think adding 1 more would have necessarily made it work. So I will try not to regret it.
Also 3 Frosties rather than 2 is better.
I would be amazed and ecstatic if one stuck! Smile
I think it's definitely a cartoon dog or monkey! Very funny! If this works, i will think it's that one that stuck!! Especially as I live in Hong Kong and yesterday was day 2 of CNY!! I'll take that luck!

ChewyGiraffe · 10/02/2016 10:31

Daisy - I vote monkey. Clever Sparrow for making the Chinese New Year connection, lets hope it's an auspicious sign!
But really, your doctor wanted to transfer 4 blastocysts?!!! < Faints > I'm sure you've done the right thing in transferring 3, sounds like you have a marvellous chance - and frosties as well! Perhaps you can quietly expect to be pretty busy come late October? Wishing you all the best here too.

Daisyboo1203 · 10/02/2016 09:53

Intralipids is for immunes. It's a solution you have as a drip after transfer

Kwick709 · 09/02/2016 22:11

Daisyboo so excited for you! Take it easy and best of luck! Remember to keep your feet warm!

What are intralipids?

Kwick709 · 09/02/2016 22:02

Anniehoo thanks. Nasal spray is until at least baseline scan - so next milestone is sat when I stop one if the pills and then wait for af, then have baseline and stims start... Not long now! Am not feeling at all prepared!