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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here

811 replies

JessieMcJessie · 25/11/2015 11:38

A year ago today I started this thread

Any 40+ladies out there TTC #1?

and, 1000 posts later, it has filled up with the shared experiences of various fantastic women who find ourselves hoping to start a family after the age of 40. And listen out Daily Mail - not one of us deliberately "delayed motherhood" to concentrate on our careers or frivolous pursuits. By and large we just didn't meet the right person (or decide to go it alone) till we were quite long in the tooth.

Trying for a first at this age has its own special challenges. The old thread contains its fair share of sad tales of early miscarriage and disapointing test results. However it is also a great place for success stories and positive thinking and it has been a lifeline for me over the past year.

Although those who already have a child or children and are trying for more in their forties are welcome to join (and we absolutely understand the real pain of secondary infertility), part of the value of this thread is the opportunity to share experience amongst those of us for whom failure will mean no children at all, rather than a smaller family than we'd like. It's also a place where we all share a sense of total uncharted territory where pregnancy and childbrirth are concerned!

There are a number of stalwarts who have been with me from almost day one and I hope you'll join this new thread too, but we all hope to graduate eventually to the pregnancy boards so new joiners are very important! If your fortieth is looming it's fine to join a bit before.

A newish poster asked last week if people could post their "stats" and I think that's a good idea. So I'll kick it off (feel free to include whatever info you feel like giving):

Jessie McJessie 42, TTC since October 2014 (13 months) having only met my DH at the tender age of 38. 2 chemical pregnancies, one blocked tube, low AMH, one failed IUI, 1 failed IVF and about to start our second IVF. Just moved back to London after 6 years in Hong Kong.

So, off we go. We have a special skill at scouring the media for stories of celebs having babies over 40. And there's no such thing as TMI Grin.

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Kwick709 · 06/03/2016 09:56

Well the good news magnificat is that you are clearly super fertile! But maybe you can talk to your doctor to see what help can be given. I am doing IVF and am taking shed loads of drugs to provide right environment for embryo to stick - no guarantee mind but will give me best chance.

Best tests are FRER - First Respinse Early Response - but if you need to test a lot then maybe buy some of the cheapie tests on Amazon (One Step) and if you get a faint line on them move to a FRER.

magnificatAnimaMea · 05/03/2016 21:17

Thanks Kwick. No idea why I'm miscarrying - it could just be the luck of the draw. All the mcs are 5-6 weeks so in the realm of not necessarily even being recognized as pregnancies by many people.

There have actually been very few times when I could have got pregnant and didn't. The first two mcs were nearly 15 years ago, both the product of slip-ups on short visits to a long-distance boyfriend (pre-DH); the second two were slip-ups with DH while on the POP. I didn't even recognize those two as mcs because I thought I was looking at evaporation lines on the sticks at the time - but since the most recent mc (a few weeks ago) I have realised that a faint line, while feeling very recognizably pregnant, is in fact a positive...

Kwick709 · 05/03/2016 19:43

Welcome magnificat sounds like you have been having a tough time of it. Do they know why you are mcing? Perhaps you need some drug assistance after conception?

I just did the two new injections - Clexane and Lentogest. Lentogest is intra-muscular and with a HUGE (green) needle - but funnily enough went in really easily and did not hurt... perhaps I did it wrong or am just so fat it pads everything out... Hmm there was a lot of blood afterwards... hope I am not about to cark it...

Loueeza · 05/03/2016 19:16

Daisy, so happy to hear everything is OK again now - that must have been a horrible scare for you. But how crazily exciting that you could have TWO in there! I wouldn't be able to contain myself with excitement ;-)

Congrats, Kwik! It's great that you're finding the IVF exciting and not stressful. I need to learn a lesson from you for next time! :-)

magnificatAnimaMea · 05/03/2016 19:06

Hello, mind if I join you people?

I am a few weeks shy of 40, have had 2 mcs and a molar pregnancy in the past year, while TTC; and 4 mcs before that. Not doing IVF as having no great difficulty getting pregnant; hoping to get referred to people who might do some of the screening tests for thrombophilias/ autoimmune / hormonal issues, but neither the referral nor the usefulness of the referral are guaranteed.

Kwick709 · 05/03/2016 16:21

The clinic rang to say that one of the two eggs has fertilised - and the other is still in with the magic potion so may still fertilise too Grin I am very excited!

AnnieHoo · 04/03/2016 23:16

Everything crossed for you kwick. Hang in there x

daisy had a glass of vino for you tonight! And everyone else for that matterWinkWineWineWine

Kwick709 · 04/03/2016 15:12

Thank Daisy good to hear I am not the only one :)

Daisyboo1203 · 04/03/2016 15:07

Brilliant!! Look after yourself now, just think in a few days you will be 'pregnant until proven otherwise!'
I understand about the freak out, I think that type of situation brings that out of us. I felt like when I had the hysteroscopy, and a little cry and wondered what on earth I was doing!!!

Kwick709 · 04/03/2016 14:36

So Daisy they collected 2 eggs. I have to start injecting intra-muscularly tomorrow... starting with crinone tonight.
Fingers crossed that magic potion doing its job as we speak and I get some good news from embryologist tomorrow.

I had a bit of a freak out before the procedure - which is most unlike me - I suddenly felt very uncomfortable and not in control/felt everything was complicated but I had a bit of a cry and pulled myself together.

I feel a bit sore now - but am safe at home with a nice cup of cinnamon tea and hot water bottle and will take it easy today and prob rest of weekend.

Daisyboo1203 · 04/03/2016 14:14

Kwick, looking forward to hearing how EC went.....

Kwick709 · 04/03/2016 06:18

Thanks Annie and Daisy!!!!

I barely slept... Started to feel quite sick in the middle of the night might have been lamb kebab I had last night I am actually relieved the morning is here! Even if I am nil by mouth until after the EC

So pleased you are okay now Daisy

Daisyboo1203 · 03/03/2016 23:08

Ooh, Kwick! And good luck tomorrow!!

Daisyboo1203 · 03/03/2016 22:37

Kwick, it was a small hematoma that caused the bleed, apparently very common in early pregnancy, a lot of ladies suggested it could be this before the scan found it. The bleeding pretty much stopped after 10 hrs. Nothing since!
Annie, please have a glass of vino for me!! I don't know what to do with myself after a stressful day at work! I've been pretending soda water is a fizzy wine! Hmm

AnnieHoo · 03/03/2016 22:18

Tomorrow morning kwick! Wishing you all the best and hoping tomorrow brings good news. Step by step... Hope you're sleeping right now! You can relax a bit after EC and maybe have a wee glass of vino in those in-between days.

Oh daisy that's amazing seeing your two little sacs and good that there is at least one fetal pole.. V v early days. Bonus that you are now in the system for early scans.. I would also secretly love twins.

Kwick709 · 03/03/2016 20:25

thank yo so much Loueeza Egg collection is tomorrow morning!!!!!

Blimey daisy I really feel for you... so glad you were attended to quickly. You have a great outlook :) do they know why you were bleeding?

Right I am off to have a bath - last one in a while!

Daisyboo1203 · 03/03/2016 19:30

It doesn't feel nail biting as I feel I have already had a sneak peak nice and early.
I am aware at this early stage 2 sacs does not necessarily translate to 2 babies so I am not thinking about it too much. Maybe women I have read about have vanishing twin or one does not continue to grow before 12 weeks.
I am only 6 weeks, so anything could happen. I'm just really happy isn't 3!!! Confused
But if 2 were still developing in a few months then ok! At least I would only have to think about doing this once!! Haha! It would change my plans a little and I would have to take advantage on the inexpensive hired help you can get in Hong Kong.

It's interesting, people who already have children think twins sounds fantastic! And people without sound wary. I thought it might be the other way round! Haha.
Anyway, I'm staying healthy and relaxed and seeing what happens further down the road.
And yes, the care in Hk has been great so far. Wouldn't want to repeat the A&E wait though, but hopefully I don't need to now I am in the system

Original poster
JessieMcJessie · 03/03/2016 15:27

Oh wow Daisy what a rollercoaster. Would you be OK with twins? You've got a nailbiting 2 weeks ahead but sounds like you are getting good care.

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Daisyboo1203 · 02/03/2016 23:59

Good luck, Kwick!!
Jessie, brilliant that the tests are all good!!

I have had a couple of stressful days. After problems with my crazy aggressive violent neighbour I started bleeding Monday night. I went to the doctors Tuesday (it had more or less stopped by then, and had turned brown rather than red). The doctor sent me to A&E where I had a scan. It wasn't great equipment there so they thought they could see a sac or 2.
They booked me an appointment for the next day at the early pregnancy unit and I had a couple of scans. The internal scan found 2 sac, 2 yolk sacs and 1 fetal pole. All normal at this stage (5weeks plus). It sounds to me though that one is more developed than the other.
Obviously early days and anything could happen at this stage.
I have another scan booked for 2 weeks.
I'm very glad to be in the system at th early pregnancy unit, hopefully this means lots of early scans and now I can cancel the private scan I have booked with doctors consult saving myself 200 quid!
If the 2 sacs keep developing i think I'll need all the money I can save!!!

Loueeza · 02/03/2016 22:01

Oh and Jessie that's brilliant news! You're flying through all these milestones! :-)

Loueeza · 02/03/2016 21:56

Kwik, wanted to leave a separate post to wish you all the best!!

Sounds like you're really close to EC day! :-)

Loueeza · 02/03/2016 21:55

Thanks for the encouragement, Annie. Actually coming up to the af after the IVF. The first one was awful - painful and felt terrible.

But felt terrible during the run-up to this one too. Just really bad PMS including cramps and back ache ... but a week before af. Then it tails off as af approaches, presumably as my hormones drop. Never used to suffer like this, but have come to the conclusion that it must just be my age :-(

We weren't able to ttc this month as DH was away. I know it sounds crazy but even though I know there's no chance this month, I've still been slightly hoping. We were only able to BD about a week before ovulation, which of course makes a BFP almost impossible, but I think the cycle of hope and disappointment has become almost like a bad habit ... lol! Can't seem to stop it! Next month might be a no-go too as I was going to try to have my tubes checked and the NHS do that between days 8 and 14, but they only do it on certain days. You get the idea ... might end up missing the crucial days again. Feels so frustrating. I want to do the test, but feel like I'm losing precious time. And just wanted to get back to trying normally again for at least a couple of months before considering another IVF.

Probably will do another IVF... don't want to face thinking about it right now though.

Kwick709 · 02/03/2016 12:00

Yep my first IVF after 5 cycles of IUI.

Cityzen74 · 02/03/2016 11:28

Yes good luck Kwick

I am on day 9 as well Annie as we are cycle buddies! I need to find some energy and enthusiasm for the next few days too! Haven't got round to buying the internet cheapie OPKs this month so using clear blue digital and we'll see if I believe it this month! Will get the others for next I think.

Glad all is well with you Jessie

Original poster
JessieMcJessie · 02/03/2016 10:17

Good luck Kwick. Sorry, I can't remember, is this your first IVF? It's a relief when they do the EC and you finally feel that progress is being made. I am proof positive that it can work!

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