Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here

Hi everyone

I haven't read the whole thread, and I hope my post isn't upsetting for you. I want to tell you all to not give up hope.

I started TTC at 37. In the first year I had 3MCs, and then nothing happened in the year after that. I was doing everything imaginable trying for the BFP. I was convinced I'd missed all my chances. I was scheduled for IVF in February, but got my BFP in January the month before, and this one stuck.

DD was born when I was 40. She was enough for me, but in my heart I wanted her to have a sibling. DH and I decided to try again but this time I was resigned to failure with my history but felt I needed to try so I knew I had tried (if that makes sense). I conceived instantly, and DS was born when I was 43, nearly 44.

Every time I here stories on the radio about older women blah blah, my heart breaks for the women hearing it and being crushed by it. Yes, it is harder. Yes, we are more prone to MCs. But it is not without proper solid hope and lots of success stories either.

Also, I've found the stories you get from medics changes through the process. While I was TTC my age was mentioned often, along with the stats. I think my MC history haunted me through my PG with DD, with everyone being careful and concerned. Not so with DS: although older, my age wasn't mentioned at all. Fast forward to the day I delivered DS, and I asked the midwife if I was the oldest person she delivered that day. She said not at all. The woman just before me had been 47! She also told me it was completely the norm now to have women my age come in.

I hope this is of comfort to some of you. Ask me questions if you like, or tell me to piss off if my story upsets you.

sparrow I am keeping my fingers crossed for many large and lovely follicles! I found (no scientific proof though) that drinking lots of whole milk helped with that. Sorry if I have mentioned that before/sorry if I have not!

I am due to test on 22 March but have taken executive decision to start tomorrow so if it is a bfn I can deal with disappointment through weekend.

cityzen I wasn't that good in the end - I was over-exuberant and burned out earlier than planned!!

So we DTD on cycle days 11, 13, 14, 17 and. 19. According to Fertility Friend my AF is due on the 26th i(CD33) but might be earlier.. Cheapie sticks seemed to peak on CD17 so I predict it will come on 23rd.

Fingers crossed !!!!!

Good luck for everything Sparrow and I hope your bruising has gone down now. Yes my tests are to see if I am ovulating. I should have had the day 21 test on Monday but I just couldn't get in at my doctor at a time I could make it. I've booked another for what should be day 2 (but of course I'm secretly hoping that I won't need to go for it!). My DH has got his testing booked in but not til the end of April so I suppose it doesn't matter too much that mine has been delayed a little bit.

Annie my cycle buddy - I am impressed at the number of times you dtd. I think we dtd about 4 times across the fertile window. Actually I don't feel like I ovulated really but the monitor thing says I did on day 12/13 so I am trying to believe it. When is your AF due? Mine is Tuesday 22nd March so a while to wait yet.

magnificat - hope you are OK.

Hope everyone else is OK too.

It looks worse than it feels now, although it did hurt at the time. The ladies at the clinic said it was normal to get some bruising. I think it might have been a dodgy needle though as it just did not want to go in and we've had no issues with the others.

So my follicles are not playing ball at all. The Dr said they were 'tired', maybe he was trying to be kind and not say 'old'!

On the scan today you could see a few had grown a little but others not at all, after 6 days of Gonal-F and 4 of Merional. He said we would just have to wait and be patient, I guess when you're on your first try of IVF there is no way to know how these things will pan out.

I'm not that disappointed just as long as we get there in the end, only pain is will have to change DH's flights as he was due to come Friday for possible weekend EC. EC is likely now to be at the earliest next Wednesday/Thursday. His work is not as flexible as mine so he can't stay here for more than a week really.

Excuse the rambling! I better get on and do some work now.

Hope everyone is well.

god Sparrow, that looks awful!

i guess that's one upside to being unable to see a consultant - no injections of steroids or LMWHs...

Ouch sparrow!

Gosh that looks painful sparrow I have a similar sight on my tummy and bottom!!! Sorry to hear follicles are not behaving... Heres is to mega growth tonight!

Fingers also crossed for you magnificat

Visit to the clinic last Friday showed that my follicles had not grown at all, Dr has now put me on an extra shot of merional in the evening with the gonal-f. We had a bit of a nightmare with one of the injections as you can see on the pic (ouch - faulty needle maybe?) and so it's getting harder to find space for my three a day!

Next scan is tomorrow morning so I am hoping that some action has taken place in the follicle area and we can start thinking towards EC day...

Of course the weather changed a few hours after my brother got off the plane and it's been raining now since yesterday afternoon, but it was still a nice weekend and good to get away from clinic visits and work.

Hope everyone is doing well xx

Thanks, both.

I will keep my fingers crossed for you magnificat

Quiet congratulations to you magnificat. I appreciate why you're not getting excited. It's so shit having to fight and fight for help like you are. Keep strong, with all these barriers to care it's no wonder women take risks like self medicating.

Good luck SparrowSG! and thanks, AnnieHoo - as you'll see i'm already on the recurrent miscarriage thread too.

Day of ups & downs here. Phoned the GP, finally got test results back - all normal/negative for anticardiolipin, lupis anticoagulant, oestradiol, FSH, LH, thyroid. Hooray. Got referral to local fertility consultant people. Hooray. Referral got bounced, I don't meet the criteria (which seem to include being under age 35... ). Boo. GP agreed this is ridiculous, got another referral to the hospital gynae dept, hooray. Referral got bounced because GP hasn't done the thrombophilia screening in full that the district health board refused to let me have a few weeks ago. Boo, stalemate.

And now I am pregnant again anyway. Nearly threw up/fainted in the supermarket, suspiciously large boobs this evening, did a test, BFP. But it's only 3+3, so I'm definitely not getting excited or even contacting a midwife until I'm past 6 weeks, this time. Will be on the GP's back like a shot on Monday though...

Your trip sounds rather jolly sparrow - you know how to do it! Lovely that your mum is with you, enjoy the coast. Being happy is good for the whole process!

Hey cityzen I got a positive OPK tonight / CD18 on my cheapies so will DTD again tomorrow (did it last night) and 2 days after that to make sure there are plenty soldiers waiting at the gate.

Nice to hear from everyone.

City is the day 21 test the one to check your progesterone levels to see if you ovulated? On my first test I got the days wrong and the result came out quite low, I calculated it right the next month though!

Fingers crossed for you Kwick in your waiting time.

Hope you are feeling well Daisy, how long will you have to continue taking all the meds for?

Hi magnificat, sorry to hear about your past mcs, I hope that you find some answers or at least a lot of good advice from your referrals.

I'm here for almost 3 weeks Loueeza, maybe more if I need longer stimming. I am very lucky in that if I have my laptop and internet connection I can be working, so I am here in the AirB&B apartment in between conference calls as I type! My mum is treating it as a relaxing holiday and in between coming to the clinic with me (and stabbing me with needles!) has been reading/visiting the museums and snoozing . We are even off to stay near the coast this weekend and my brother is coming over to visit as well. I thought that in this beginning phase, whilst it's just medications/scans I might as well make the most of being here.

I just started my first Gonal-F shot yesterday evening, the Dr has me on 300 at the moment and then I'm back in for another scan tomorrow morning to check how I am responding to it. I am also taking a low dose steroid in the morning, down reg Arvakap injection mid-morning and a low dose asprin at lunchtime (with vitamins and folic acid). For someone who barely takes one paracetemol a year it's a bit hectic but I am just seeing it as a means to an end and not thinking too much on it.

Chewy, no I am not at Serum. I lived here in Athens in 2003/4 and have a couple of friends here, one of whom recommended the clinic I am using. Having nothing to compare them with I can't say if it is better or worse than others here, but so far I have been very impressed. It's a private clinic (so not in a hospital) and because of its size I think you get very individual attention. The Dr (who is the owner of the clinic), worked in London for over 10 years and has many papers published on fertility issues on the internet, when we met him back in January we liked him straight away. With this and the cost being much less than a clinic of equal standard in the UK it was an easy decision to make. Plus it's also nice to have a break from the cold weather and no major distractions at home.

Good luck to Annie, Chewy and Loueeza with your TTC xx

My spirits are still up chewy! Save the ass-kicking for now!

I'm totally intrigued with this article magnific and a big welcome to you, I have been meaning to pop on to say that but wanted to take more time to write it as you've been through so much. You sound really strong. I was going to mention the recurrent mc thread too if you haven't already joined it. It's good here with the 40-ish ladies though

cityzen my cycle buddy! I've bee thinking of you. I'm not sure if I'm on 2ww yet so will keep on dtd. Managed day 11, 13, 14 and today day 17. Will keep gong just incase....

Need to catch up on the rest of thread tomorrow x

Hi - I noticed that quite a few of you have been very busy with this TTC business, so I'm de-lurking just to wish you some extra good luck:

Kwick - love Daisy's phrase that you are now 'pregnant unless proven otherwise' and keeping my fingers crossed that your little day 3 embie is a sticky one!

Daisy - trust all is still well with cooking those twins?

Sparrow - Are you at Serum? They seem to have a very good reputation - I considered going there myself a good while ago, but (being a bit wet and pathetic, in hindsight) I couldn't fathom the logistics of taking my year old baby DD, as she then was, but now that she's a bonkers 2 year old, it would be even worse. Anyway, all the very best of luck - how lovely to have your Mum with you. And the prospect of 10 eggs, gosh I could only dream of so many! You could work on creating a five-a-side team out of that haul!

Cityzen - good for you with the tests, but like you say, don't overthink it. Provided you make sure you record the date of your last AF and next AF (if indeed it turns up ...) then your Dr will be able to interpret the day 21 result for you. Then if it's been done on the 'wrong' day, just make sure it's repeated - no big deal.

Loueeza - I'm so glad you're back trying after your IVF - lots of ladies seem to conceive in the cycle after IVF, so hope you can harness the fabled post-fertility drug boost too!

Magnificat - thanks for the link to the article. I'm going to shamelessly borrow it for the other 40+ TTC thread (do feel free to pop in, all welcome!) as there's one or two ladies on there who are interested in immune issues.

I went to the implantation clinic at Coventry hospital myself. I had the endometrial biopsy for uterine Natural Killer cells (all fine, so nothing to 'fix' there) and a consultation with Professor Brosens. He's clearly got a brain the size of a planet, yet is modest and charming with it - remarkable.

Annie - hope you're keeping your renewed good spirits up, that BFP coudl be just around the corner. (Or I'll come back and kick your a** again!)

Hello again people!

Did you see this about the people who work on immune issues and recurrent miscarriage, at Sheffield?

www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-35747199

City, I think it's somewhat normal to worry a bit like that - just goes with the territory, depending on personality of course. But I've definitely been through all those sorts of thoughts/worries... and the rest!

It really is a good feeling when you feel like you're doing something though, isn't it?

I'm just relieved to be getting back to a normal 'trying' schedule this month after the IVF, for what it's worth. I was going to do the test to see if my tubes are OK but am going to delay for a month as I would have had to do it on exactly the day(s) I'm likely to be ovulating. Just couldn't face 'missing' another month! The same thing will probably happen next month, but really needed a break from any kind of tests or treatment.

Kwik and Daisy, hope you're both well today!

Congrats on the transfer Kwik and good luck in Athens Sparrow

Annie are you on the 2WW now? We managed to DTD a few times over the last few days so fingers crossed. Does anyone get ovulation pain? I have never had it (or noticed it anyway) but then yesterday I was a bit sore down one side of my tummy and then started worrying that it was ovulation pain and actually I was ovulating later than I thought and what if we had DTD far too early and missed it! I told my DH and I think he thought I was being really paranoid! I'm going to calm down now...

Went to the doctors yesterday. She was very lovely and encouraging. Have to have the blood tests. Hopefully can do the day 21 test next week (if they can fit me in at the doctors) but then started worrying about the length of AF and what if she turned up early (which she sometimes does) so that test would have been on the wrong day. Reading this back I think I need to stop worrying so much! Anyway, DH has to arrange his sperm analysis and hopefully we can find out if there is anything that can be done to help us. Of course I am also hoping that I get my BFP this month and don't need to do all this but I am also realistic and feel a bit more positive that I'm doing something and not just worrying about it.

Sorry for the long post. Hope everyone is OK.

Hi Sparrow. Nice to hear from you! Athens, hey? So how long do you have to stay there for?

Kwik, congrats on the successful transfer. Just got to wait patiently now - or not so patiently if you're me!

Welcome to Magnificat, too. Sorry honey I didn't see your post until just now! Sounds like you've been through it too. It's really encouraging that you're getting pregnant easily though. A friend of mine just tested positive for immune issues and she's now going ahead with IVF knowing that her odds are vastly increased. Hope you can figure out what the issue is too. Thanks for joining us... the more the merrier!

sparrow your poor mum... I promise you it is not that bad to DIY with the injections! Best of luck with your treatment. What meds are you on?

I had my transfer today - a lovely day 3 8 cell embryo is now nested in moi :) 2WW here I come!

Hi all,

I haven't posted for a while as nothing very exciting to report but I am now in Athens (!) and just had my first down reg injection + lesson this morning at the clinic. Luckily I have my mum staying with me so she is going to play nurse and try to do the injections, at the moment though she seems more freaked out about it than me! Let's see how it goes in the morning.

Dr said ovaries looked good and ready for treatment and he's hoping for 10 eggs! I think that's a bit wishful thinking and of course there's no guarantee on the quality which is the most important thing.

Fingers firmly crossed for you Daisy that all continues well, looks like you will be a very busy lady by the end of the year

Good luck also to you Kwick, I'm impressed that you managed to stab yourself with a huge needle.

Hope everyone else is well

Daisyboo it looks like we are on a similar protocol. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. I know it is hard but I think it is a good strategy to just try and take each day as it comes.

I'm stil taking loads of meds to prevent miscarriage too, progesterone pessaries and injections, estrofem for lining, aspirin, clexane injections (halted because of bleeding will resume later) prednisolone steroids which is being slowing reduced by 5mg each week.
Loueeza, not really excited yet, I go between overwhelmed, accepting, planning them chastising myself for planning when I just don't know what will happen. I am more accepting now though, it helps that I can l plan hired help. But there is a certain letting go of picture I imagined of one baby. But I also am aware that 2 embryos developing doesn't always lead to 2 babies. So it really is a taking it day by day and trying not to get bogged down in my head!
But there is a little smile on my face when I imagine things going well and looking forward to my life changing in an amazing way!