So it's John Wayne vs Les Dawson in The Great British Pee Off and Prty's judging... get ready to be basted, lovelies!

Hi no news as such really. No af today which is good and when I swabbed it's gone back to clear..very odd. No other symptoms though, no sore boobs or anything so don't know what is happening.

Bex when are you due? I know it's hard, but... Step away from the computer... Go eat your body weight in chocolate/cheese/twiglets*
*delete as appropriate!! Good luck, you can do it!!

Hi all - thanks so much for the and sympathy Flowers and Beanz! It was so nice to sit down on train (on the way home) and read your lovely messages, especially as about 3 hours ago I got pink tinge on wiping!! I know there is a small likelihood of implantation, but not at 13dpo, right?? I felt absolutely gutted, and of course, no period for my sister yet!! We originally started trying again this time because our friends and family were starting to get pregnant left right and centre, and particularly my cousin, who I'm very close to, and his wife, started trying at the same time as us (a little bit after I think) and they've been through pregnancy, and had (a premature, but thankfully healthy) baby. My sister's is now 15 months, my other close friend has also just had one (started trying same time as us). And I just feel like we're going to completely miss the boat!! When we had our DS, it was 8yo, and I felt really isolated. We were really one of the first to do it. To be honest, that's why we didn't try for more in the first 2-3 years (as well as being broke). Then I ended up on medication for my hips for the next 3 years or so, and suddenly here we are with the prospect of DS having no siblings. It makes me so sad!! I know I'm lucky to have one, I do understand that, but I still find it really hard...
Flowers, I know just what you mean, it's very tempting just to say "f it" and just stop trying for a bit!! If you feel like it will help you relax and enjoy the festive period, why not? You may still obsess the last week, but may be more relaxed for the rest of the time!! I know it's hard when you're a bit older like us (you're 38 too right?), but one month won't make a difference...
As I was planning on doing acupuncture for 3 months, I think I'll do one more month, even though it is Christmas, as it is accumulative I think. Although financially, it is really hard! That's what's made it so tough this time, I think, as it's the first month of accupuncture where we mostly got the timing of DTD right, I'm pretty sure I ovulated, so why aren't I pregnant!?!?

Anyway, sorry for the pity party!!

Neetie any news for you yet??

Ugh I think I'm officially going out of my mind.

Googling every symptom and I'm only 8DPO so I wouldn't even be getting symptoms for days yet. ARGH.

Still, I feel tired, queasy, and have tingling boons which I've never noticed before.

Someone talk some sense into me please

MrsF it's a good point re taking a break. However, would that work in practice? I.e., would you be taking BC over the next month or two or just "seeing what happens" and trying not to obsess?

Only reason I ask is if you aren't using contraception, your mind will only end up obsessing by default... I tried it one month where my due date would have been ridiculously inconvenient... Didn't stop me from over analysing everything and being disappointed when AF arrived though!

Just read that back and don't want to sound like some raging alcoholic, party animal. It's less about drinking etc and more about minimising the emotional torment in order to enjoy the celebrations [santa] I just feel tired of it all.

Hi all. Any news Neetie and Hippy?

I am irrationally angry today which is usual for me around this time unfortunately. Keep snapping at OH.

Anyway... I am thinking that I will stop TTC for a bit. Just until January. I am not feeling positive about this TWW, AF due around the 16th and just know we haven't done enough this month. My mood swings the past few days have only confirmed it.

As I said before its my father-in-law's birthday the weekend after AF is due so I'm trying to get my head into a new frame of mind as at least I can have a good time and not worry about drinking, questions from family etc. But it has got me thinking - after that it's my first wedding anniversary (we have planned a long weekend to Edinburgh in a luxury hotel with lots of nice restaurants booked) and then obviously it's Christmas with work parties, annual shindig with my girls from uni, family get togethers and all the rest that Dec/NYE brings... I am just not sure if I can be arsed with this rollercoaster over the festive period. I am not sure if I want to be worrying about my fertile days, starting temping, analysing charts, fretting over CM and all the rest!

I feel as though I may as well enjoy my anniversary and (what will hopefully be) my last Christmas without kids. I don't think I want to be bogged down by all this emotion... I will probably have some lows as I really thought I would be PG by then and it is really heartbreaking disappointing, but I just don't want to be in this permanent state of up and down and ruin the festivities...

I was chatting to OH about it last night and he has made clear he thinks putting it on hold till New Year is a good idea although he says he will go with what I want... But then I think I am just a wasting more time and letting even more of my eggs dry up!!! What do you all think? Will you still be TTC over Dec?

Thinking at might be on the way... Slight pinkish tinge on paper when wiping but no cramping. Not officially due till weds or fri depends on what app I use. DH is off to China again next weekend so really hoping it takes its time to start if it comes. Did do an Internet cheapie test which of course was B F N but will just have to see.

Ah Hippy, sorry to hear that you'require having a tough time. It must be really difficult being around children as much as you love them I'm sure, but particularly difficult when af is due to arrive. The last couple of days really are the worst; you daren't hope but still do so it always seems such a disappointment even when you kind of knew af would arrive. My fingers are crossed for you though. Keep busy and be nice to yourself, allow yourself some crazy hormonal time. Ttc just seems like a cruel game most of the time.
I am in a similar place, although going on holiday which is helping to keep me positive. Af due on Thursday so packed everything as if she will arrive. I know she will, we didn't dtd enough and I can just tell she''s lurking, there's still a part of me that's hoping though which will lead to inevitable disappointment and the usual monthly meltdown! Bloody boring really.
take care

Aaahhh Hippy that must be tough. Agree those few days before AF suck, it's a combination of still hoping but often having that intuitive feeling because you 'know' she is on her way. I am however, keeping all crossed for you that she doesn't. I have read load of stories about people who thought AF was imminent only to get a BFP. Have you tested at all? Understand if you don't want too... Try and keep busy to keep your mind off it (know it's hard and especially when you are surrounded by kids!) Crap advise I know. Really beginning to think TTC is one of the cruelest things ever... I'm actually quite sick of it! We are all here with and and keeping fingers and toes crossed for you! xxx

Hi all, feeling really down today. Am on day 20 of cycle, so should really be due on Monday (day 24), but today I've just been really feeling like it's on it's way. My tummy feels all bloated, got period type cramping, and you know when you just feel it, down "there"... I know I'm not out yet, but I really don't feel hopeful at all. I've come to stay with my sister for the weekend, who has 3 boys, all conceived on one drunken night using no contraceptives (ex-husband, and new partner, not randomly shagging around!!), and now her and her partner had one drunken night this month, and didn't use contraception, and she thinks she might be pregnant!! That really would be a hard baby bomb!! Here I am trying for the last year and a half, and she conceives from one shag!! It's going to be hard if I get my period while I'm here, and she ends up being up the duff. Help!! Sorry, I know you all feel this way too. I've decided it's not the TWW that's the worst, it's those 2-3 days before AF shows her face, when you're dreading her arrival AND all hormonal too...

I haven't seen any chocolate around here in a while... What happened to our chocolate mountain?!

Feeling a PMT emotional wreck today, had two massive tantrums over nothing and cried at an email from my boss, ffs.

AF not even due for another week!!

neetie got my FX for you. If AF doesn't appear tomorrow that's probably a very good sign!!

Fx for you neetie!

Thanks Rose that is helpful.

Hi everyone, hope you are all enjoying your Friday night.
Thanks to everyone for your lovely messages when I was was feeling down about the baby bomb.
hippy - thanks for your advice about the temps, I was getting really frustrated but glad to hear it was not just me! Could you post pics of your charts, would be really interesting to see.
neetie - that does sounds promising! Fingers crossed for you.

Around about 27 days so a little early for any bleeding really. Don't want to get hopes up though.

Sounds promising Neetie!! How long are your cycles? FX for you!

Hiya, not sure what is going on here. Had some brown blood/discharge on my pants today (nothing when wiping and a light brownish tinge when swabbing) and some slight period type twinges but not bad ones. Day 22 of cycle so very early for any signs of blood etc The earliest af has come was day 23 but that was only once and ages ago...
Mmmm so not sure if I am out or not...

Beanz - I take my temp under my tongue.

It's best to take it at the same time every day, so I have my alarm set every day, and I just go back to sleep at the weekend. I don't find it's affected it that much if I do it late though.

Hope that helps.

Blimey.

Turns out one of the recent baby bombs was pretty heart wrenching... Didn't realise but they had been TTC for four years and were deemed infertile!

Just goes to show there's always someone else worse off. Suddenly six months seems like nothing!

Also where do you take your temp, under your tongue??

Hi everyone

I have a temping related question. I'm hoping to start temping on my next cycle which is due to start next week when I'm on holiday (I know, great timing). So, will be on holiday affect the temperature taking? I'd rather not delay it for another cycle. And am I just noting down the temperature on the thermometer when I do it at the same time each day?
Hippy - you did very well to catch up on everyone and thank you for the welcome. I'm pleased to have found this thread so I can rant on here and pretend to be more normal in rl. I hope you hear good news about the job and I have my fx that your af is late for a good reason. Don't POAS until it's late though... no more torture!
In relation to the other discussion when asked if we're thinking of having kids I do this over dramatic fumble along the lines of no no no how terrible it must be to have sleepless nights and have to think about keeping another human being alive.... oh if only they knew I'd do anything for some sleepless baby related nights! I wish I'd have told a few people but my denial around the topic has now gone so far that it's hard to tell people as I think they'll be really shocked!

Hi everyone! I've just been catchin up on all the John Wayne news :-)

I've missed a lot it seems. Shary, so sorry about your possible diagnosis, but it sounds like you're being really strong - even though I know you must be feeling very weak underneath it all. But as you say, it's good you're closer to a diagnosis now, and you know you're ovulating as well, which is a good sign. Pirsy sorry to hear you have PCOS - but sounds like you're being really positive about it too, and it sounds really good you're ovulating anyway! Hugs to you both!

glitter I hope you are put out of yur misery with this long cycle soon!! Really hoping it will end with BFP, fingers crossed for you!

Flowers and Kitten good luck with the temping. On my second full cycle of temping, it's already helping me feel much clearer about my cycles. Kitten don't despair if your temps look a bit all over the place. Mine were looking really confusing at the beginning of this cycle, but as the month has gone on, I can see that I did ovulate, which is hugely helpful, and I should be able to pinpoint the day my period will arrive (4 days and counting). SO if AF is late, I will have more reason to feel hopeful than I normally would when I'm not sure when I ovulated (without temping). It's good for somebody like me with quite irregular periods (anywhere between 19-31 days), as I can look back and see when I've ovulated. I'll post a couple of pics from my phone for those interested.

So sorry to hear about all these Baby Bombs (good new John Wayne slang there!). It is very hard to take, and I think it makes you feel worse as well because you don't actually want to feel bad about somebody else's good news, but you do. Horrid mixed empotions. At 38 the babies are popping out left, right and centre at the moment, so I have to try and stay stromg and positive. I think the fact I am trying to stay positive and believe it will happen for us makes it easier. Also, I know I am very lucky to have my DS (who is currenly lying beside me in bed, off sick, with a temp of 39.1 poor thing!). So I'm sure that must make it easier for me. But I really do understand how hard it must be for those of you TTC for the first time. Sending positive vibes and hugs.

beanz Welcome to you, you've been a really nice positive addition to the board. Fingers crossed for you on this journey.

I think I'm going to be early for the GBPO, as I am due in 4 days, so I guess I'll be POAS in 4 days. I just stupidly did a test, am only 10dpo, and it wasn't with FMU, but I still did anyway, and got BFN! Why do we torture ourselves this way. I am swearing off any more sticks unless the witch is actually LATE. So maybe 5 - 6 days from now I will allow myself if it is late. I don't feel any symptoms at all, apart from a swollen tum, but I think that's more to do with the pizza I had last night than any symptom! I've also been having these wierd throbs in the lower middle of my belly for the last 5 days or so. I guess they feel like they could be coming from my uteral lining, but not sure. I think they came too early to be implantation pain, so am just hoping they're nothing sinister.

Anyway SO SORRY for the long post!! I don't know why I can't keep them shorter and snappier!

P.S. still no confermation on the job. Think I will hear on Monday, fingers crossed! Will be a big day thinking about it. Could possibly feel great or rubbish about two things... Sorry still typing! Will stop now!

Ovia telling me I due to POAS on the 13th… I am determined not to this month unless AF doesn't show, which I am not anticipating. Fully expecting her to arrive the following Monday. Am trying to see the good in this as it’s my father-in-law’s 60th that week and we have helped plan a surprise party. At least I can have loads to a few drinks and won’t have to field any Qs from both families. I am only 2 or 3dpo right now so will probably go wild symptom spotting over the coming days and cave before this grand plan gets off the ground have a while to wait...

My POAS day will be next weekend

Gosh, I think it's about to be a GPPO weekend - that's three of us due over the weekend after next.

I don't get asked about TTC, but most of those who are interested either know or will be assuming we are anyway. We were pretty open about our intentions to ditch the contraceptives post-wedding. My sister was actually trying to organise a sweepstake on when I'd get PG at the reception...

Although I feel a bit weird about it from a "social norms" pov, I'm really glad all my friends know we're trying as that means they don't ask questions all the time about it (and when they do it's "how is it going? are you managing not to go crazy?", rather than "why aren't you PG?!?"). Feel less happy about my MiL knowing, but I think that's just because it's weird when it's your partner's family!