TTC #1 coming off the pill in December - anyone else in the same boat?!

Bunch that's amazing! How long did it take you to make that?

Yes, men need to understand that when you are TTC there needs to be lots more sex, not less :-)

Well Starky has inspired me and I've been looking at crochet patterns. Got a bit carried away with hats and made the most adorable pumpkin hat for 0-3 months. Thankfully I know a 4 week old. Husband send quite taken with the hat and very amused with me. I think he may like the idea of me dressing up a child as various fruit and veg items!!

Pink me too with the downturn in DTD, all on DH. Must find new ways to seduce him!!

Hi all, and welcome to Harriet and Nevlet!

I think the dragging the heels thing is just a man thing. We both want kids but I'd say I'm driving it forward to happen sooner rather than later. Sometimes OH is really enthusiastic, looking at prams and stuff, and then he doesn't seem that bothered. To be honest, I think he's a bit scared about the fact that (hopefully) there will be a baby in the not too distant future. I've noticed a downturn in sex after coming off the pill (even though we are using condoms), and its not my doing! I'll need to be kick starting that shortly!

Hi,

I am late to the game and not coming off pill in December but need the support of a post pill group!

My story...started talking a year ago about coming off Microgynon and seeing what happened but work issues and me starting a new job meant we put that on hold till this summer. Came off the pill in June and have had 2 periods since...no obvious cycle pattern or timing or sign of it normalising yet...on cd 42! Now that we are a year on from thinking "yeah why not lets give that a try and see" both DP and I are at the stage of properly wanting and trying to conceive and struggling not with it not happening (we know it can take time obviously) but no sign of a returning cycle!

Exciting shelb!!
I came off the pill a couple of years ago (have the non-hormonal coil now) and actually my periods went back to normal straight away. I know it isn't like that for lots of people but it is possible!

I kind of wish I was on the pill now because stopping it would be within my control. As it is I have to book a docs appointment so no chance of doing it spontaneously!

Morwenna - I saw that article when it came out - very interesting! Even though I've got a while before TTC I've been reading as much as I can. I think my OH would freak out if he knew how much I think about it!!

Sheb, I'm hoping my sex drive goes up too. I think it will as after a couple of days off on my break I start looking forward to jumping my oh when af is gone. Then start taking the pill again and not interested.

Don't freak out yet, as soon as you stop the pill you'll have withdraw bleed and that feels like it takes forever!!!

Ah, found it in the end....who knew our bodies perceived sperm as "foreigners"?! Kind of goes against the whole purpose of reproduction....?Anyway, makes for an interesting read.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/oct/12/will-having-sex-every-day-increase-my-fertility

I was trying to find another article I read recently, but stumbled across this instead....

Gourmet sex ladies, gourmet sex!!

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/mar/22/fertility-problems-relationships

Sounds like my husband might be a rarity then, he's quite interested in all the "technical detail"! I think the reality of having children will be a bit of a shock when it all happens however...as for the ones dragging their heels, tell them they'll have at least 9 months to get used to the idea!! ;)

Love it Bergamot - typical man response!

Hello to Harriet :)

Bergamot that's so funny.

Hello Harriet welcome

I think it's pretty much all men. Mine is fine with the idea of having a kid, fine with the idea of trying, but if you talk logistics or planning he'll usually clam up.
I think they're fine once it's a reality but until then they just like to concentrate on DTD lol.

I think this is why sites like this are so important. It gives women a place to obsess together in private so that the men don't get scared and go hide in a cave.

We were stood in the spare room last night and I asked where he would put furniture for a nursery - he just looked at me and said 'isn't it ok as it is'. It has (only) a double bed in it FFS!! I'll have to work on that.

Phew glad it's not just me.
He keeps bringing up money as a source of concern. But unless we win the lottery, money will always be a source of concern as that is life, money is not a given we have to earn it. As we're currently re doing the kitchen he is stressing about that, he keeps saying "if we could pay off the kitchen then I'll be happy" (we got the kitchen in credit, apparently a huge issue for him at the mo). But then he says "shall we get chalkboard paint for that wall so kids can draw on it". He just needs to sort his thoughts out. I certainly can't force him into it, it will scare him off more.
Just time to relax and enjoy the journey. (And hopefully all the extra sex ).

I'm so glad I have somewhere to vent to. Thank you ladies!

Hello...please can I join?
We are planning to TTC in the new year, which seemed like a long way away when we decided in the summer but now seems scarily close! I'm starting to take pre-conception vitamins this month and want to get as fit as I can as well.

I'm 28 and have been with my OH (also 28) for 6 years, and known him for 10 years but we're not married. I'm not really fussed on having a big wedding - we bought a flat together 2 years ago and now just want to get on with babies! He does have wobbles though where he says maybe we should wait a bit longer, or mentions a big holiday we could go on next year or something, but I think it will just take him more time to get used to it.

I'm quite worried about how a baby will fit In with work as well but figure it's better to do it now than when I'm more senior. I regularly work 12-14 hour days, getting home at 10pm or later. Luckily OH works from home so hoping he could do the nursery pick ups. It's all quite a way off but I have been thinking about this stuff too!

Bergamot, Bunch I wonder if a lot of it is just overwhelming/too much information for the guys?!! My OH is very keen for us to have kids, which is great, but I started looking up reviews of maternity hospitals yesterday and discussing that with him (because I've heard horror stories about some places nearby). To me, it's essential that I'm well informed about who I'm entrusting my care and my baby's care to, but it's not his body so he never even thought about these things. Same with details of labour, tearing, stitches, EWCM!!!...I'm really throwing the lot at him cos I want him to be prepared and knowledgeable so that he can support me!!

But, on the other hand, maybe a lot of guys don't want to know the details....but they'll be happy with it all happening if we're willing to go ahead and organise it?! ie should we just leave them to focus on dtd and we'll just tell them when we're pregnant?! I dunno!!
My poor guy...he's gonna be traumatised!

My DH is very similar Bunch. AF finished yesterday and I'm all ready to try this month (slightly sooner than discussed but I'm just so excited to start trying). I said in the car yesterday 'should we try this month' and he managed to avoid answering the question.

Think I'll just leave it and see what happens. I'm starting to panic a little now it's all real (and I've been desperately wanting a child for years) so can imagine what he's feeling having got his head round it about a month ago.

He's probably happy to just go with the flow and see what happens but isn't too keen to sit down and discuss at length (which I would love to do!)

Oh no Purple are you feeling better this morning?
How long is left until the holiday, sounds like you need it

DH has had another wobble and is panicking about TTC again. Do men ever calm down and look forward to it like women? He says it's because he hasn't spent his adult life "knowing" he would have children and known he does its all a lot to come to terms with so quickly. He knows he wants kids he's just very aware of the change that is going to happen. Sigh, it's quite endearing actually but rather frustrating.
He knows he wants to TTC and He's still happy to DTD sans condoms but it's not happening all that often any more . His suggestion for coping mechanism at the moment is to talk about babies often to make it the norm but avoid talk of being in my fertile window or labour haha.

Any one else have a man dragging their feet?

Good morning, hope your weekends went well.

Another one with back pain here, it started on Saturday then I woke in the night in tears because of the pain. I have always suffered with back ache but this was just awful. Anyway I hope it is gradually easing now made it to work but think the 45minute drive has aggrivated it a bit. I think its punishment because I am due to go on holiday lol.

I know its a couple of pages back now but I will answer as Ive been AWOL for a couple of days. I got with my OH earlier this year so yes it is soon but feels very right we couldnt be happier. I just wish I had met him sooner but the future is very exciting.

I have only told my Mum and a close work friend guessed otherwise we have kept it quiet. Mainly because I am conscious of the additional pressure if more people were to know.

Work wise I am out of the door at 7.15 and some days it is 6.15 when I get home so I understand the worries re childcare. If there is a crisis it can be late in to the evening when I get back. My Mum works but is happy to collect from nursery/childcare (she does so for my newphew). My OH hours can be longer than mine. Hopefully I will be job sharing and ideally working the beginning half of the week. Financially we feel we would manage just have to be savvy with our money.

Clearly I can't spell - at least not to begin with

Morning all

Runner - I did a little more reading on the OPk sticks last night and I'm not going to bother with them, at least not to being with. It seems very precise when you are meant to use them - j read one website that said you had to wee in the sick between 2-2.30pm!! Not exactly a wide window. I think for me, it would stress me out more using them than not!

I've told a few people we are going to TTC but am regretting it slightly. I know the people won't say anything to anyone else, but I don't want people to be on bump/ baby watch either!

Thanks for the suggestions on stretch mark creams. I know they probably don't to anything but I want to try!

Pink I'm not planning on using ovulation sticks as you really need to use them at least a couple of times per day and they can be temperamental.
Saying that, this temping lark takes some getting used to.

I'm not sure what I'll do about working yet. We're trying to start a business so if I could work part time and do the business the rest of the time that would be perfect but we'll have to see.

Having stupid period pains today. Not impressed. Want to get this over with so that I can see what my normal cycle looks like.
I'm not too fussed about people thinking that my giving up alcohol is weird. I'be told the people I want to know and I'm not too bothered what other people think.

Stretch mark oil! makes mental note to look into that soonish

I'm hoping I'll be able to get flexible working when I need to! My commute can be anything between 30 mins and over an hour, depending on the traffic..will be difficult to get to a nursery for 6pm.

Haven't looked into ovulation sticks or charting temperature just yet (watch this space). My body seems to be letting me know when things are kicking off (EWCM and I had some funny twingy pains where my ovaries are, so guessing that's ovulation cramps. It happened the day before my app predicted my ovulation date).

I hope to go back to teaching 2 days a week and DH works 3 days a week- hope we can be poor but happy but maybe Im just idealistic!