Strapping on our lady balls and going menkul because we HATE THIS SHIT!! The Berries: a lovely bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1

It's the best of times and the worst of times at the moment in Berry hq.

Congratulations minx I'm so very happy for you! Will be keeping everything crossed for you to get through these early weeks. Don't feel sheepish - we are here for those amazing good times as well as the tough ones.

beaky my dear, you don't have to be alright just now. You can be sad, angry, cry - whatever you need, and we are here for you. Much love xx

rain, spare thinking of you both too.

In fact, I'm thinking of you all and how unfair it is that we have to go through this shit, but also how hugely grateful I am that I found the berries . #berrylove

minx amazing news, I'm so happy for you both! Fingers crossed for getting through the next few days and weeks nice and safe. And thanks for bringing us berries a first diff for this thread. It's good to still have some hope!

beaky I'm still so sorry. Cry it out hon. We're here for you when you need us.

Minx that's brilliant news! I'm so pleased someone got a bfp! Congratulations lovely how do you feel? Did you feel any differently or totally normal? Please don't feel sheepish, it's great news!

Thanks everyone for your kind words, I burst into tears again reading them! Ha. I just need to regroup I think and will ring the clinic tomorrow anyway about the early bleeding as I'm on 400mg of progesterone 3 times a day. My blood test is Thursday. Dh was visibly gutted which threw me a bit and I don't know if that made me feel a bit worse. Poor thing!

Oh Minx, that is great news!
Glad that someone is flying the flag for us this month!
Are you going to test again in the week?

oh no. beaky spare. sad times today. Thinking of you both and hoping against hope. Sorry if that's not helpful. So shitty.

So sorry Beaky and Spare.

Thanks berries. Turns out I'm not really ok! Burst into tears about a dog I don't even know earlier on.
I've found it much harder this time that the first, I think it's because I didn't really think I had a chance the first time, but this time I did as everything had gone so much better.

Really sorry to hear that Beaky.

Oh beaky. I could cry wipes a tear away I felt so hopeful for you. Keeping everything crossed there is still a chance. Thinking of you and sending a lot of love.

I hate this shit. FACT.

Sorry I've been awol a few days, struggling on my phone without the app, and have been having a very dark time since a good friend announced she was 12 weeks pg which tipped me over an edge I didn't realise I was balancing on .

kuma glad they've gone for the freezing option so you don't have to wait. Hope you've having a lovely weekend

spare/rain/beaky thinking of all of you . spare/beaky I'm still holding out hope that it's not over yet.

sesame/minx I've had the blood tests and I see the consultant for the results on 9th October. Feels like ages away! I need to keep making notes of any other questions that come to me in the meantime...

kerrie I think it's great that your dh is open to using donor sperm. You've not reached the end of the road yet .

smidge is this a permanent (for the foreseeable anyway) move back to England? How exciting! Grr for the secretary, how do people like this stay in their jobs?

perfect welcome, we started trying around the same time as you, came off the pill in Dec 2011. Unexplained here as well, but I suspect it's my messed up hormones (late ov, short lp).

clem if there's no evidence you're not ovulating and it hasn't worked on 3 goes I wouldn't be taking any more. Clomid can make you release more eggs, which is a waste if it's not going to work.

beaky I'm so sorry. If you've done a frer I think there is probably just an outside chance at this stage.... I feel like I should say hold onto that bit of hope, but I'm not sure I would do the same. I know what you mean about being ok, bad news like this is easier to take if you've been there before.... I'm gutted for you both, hope you're looking after each other.

Oh beaky
This cluster is crap so far

Thanks Sesame It's 10dp3dt so it should be quote conclusive on an frer, but my clinic blood test is Thursday. I suppose there's a very slim chance but it's unlikely. I'm ok, I mean I'm not but I am if you know what I mean?!

beaky noooo! So so sorry! Not fair!!! How many dpo/dpt are you? Is it worth holding out for a couple more days/otd?

It's so nice to have a friend like that Sesame! I wish I was more open sometimes.

Bfn for me this morning

beaky am ok just now thanks, have spent evening downloading all of this shit to my bestie. Therapeutic stuff... How about you? Are you still spotting? Have you decided whether to test early?

Spare I really hope it's not and its just a blip. Big hug for this super shit time.

How are you feeling Sesame?

spare Really? Oh no! I'm so so sorry! That is so unfair! I'm so gutted for you!

Hello Ladybros - just checking in.

I'm out, ladybros
The witch has made her presence very obviously today. I convinced myself this morning it was just implantation bleeding but has got heavier and redder this afternoon.
I'm not even sure how it is possible with this much progesterone, and I'm only CD23, but it's pretty unmistakable.
It hasn't really sunk in yet. I had convinced myself this could be our time and I feel like my body hasn't even tried. CD23 ffs! How can my womble throw in the towel already?

Apologies for the rambling. I'm going to tell DH. Can't even hit the wine because we are going out for dinner at 8, and I'm driving.

Tiger that's great that you're back into the running! Well done lovely thanks for the good thoughts, I've just got a brown tinge going on at the mo so trying to stay calm. Although going to the loo is a bit of a stresser! It's 8dp3dt today. Did you get some coq10 to take? It's so difficult to keep on a healthy eating/lifestyle track when we have all of this shit going on eh.

Sesame I've not tried melatonin either but I don't think it's as expensive as dhea. Do you think you might try it? What did you make of it starts with the egg? Hope you're doing ok at the moment and enjoying some nice wine tonight. Thanks for the cheering, it really helps. If I didn't have the berries I don't know what state of be in.

Clem yes what Sesame says. Get your ovarian reserve tested as at least that helps you decide whether to press on quickly or not. I'm surprised they gave you clomid, the success rates are low and as others have said it's not recommend for unexplained. Ask to move on if this one isn't the one. Fx it is though.

Spare how are you doing? Have you managed to get any more sleep? Any other symptoms?

Minx the opera sounds great! My dh won't go to the theatre much but I love it! Especially the ballet. Hope all is well with you, got my pom-poms going for you as well!

Hi Kuma enjoy your trip!

Happy the school is making you suffer for having 6 weeks off! How shit that it's so full on though. Do you start again next cycle? Are you still taking dhea?

Hi Nolly any craic with you? No news on your referral yet?

Rain it's such a mindfuck. I hope you get to book your lovely holiday soon too.

Perfect yes re the dh comment, mine is like that also! I've heard aspirin in the run up to ec can affect egg quality, but can't remember where that's from. From this thread alone we all know how much aspirin splits consultants opinions. Good luck for the follow up.

Smidge did you hear back from AliG?

Lovely to see you Wild I hope everything is good with you!

Waves to everyone else, sorry if I've missed anyone, I can't get scrolled back very far. I hope the new app is decent when it arrives!

rain my lovely Berry, I hope you're doing as well as can be expected. You sound very level headed about it all. I'm sending all the love your way as this really is the shittiest time. I think I need to read Agates guide too. My cycle was much like yours - loads of follies, only 7 mature eggs and in the end only two BC grade blasts. I've not had a follow up yet - they changed the time of mine AGAIN so I missed it.

Welcome elise, sounds like you've been through the shit like the rest of us. I hope your stay is short because the next cycle is the one. defintely not too old - two of our recent bfps have been to ladies who are 40 and 41.

beaky it's such a headspin. Will you test early? How many days pt are you? Hope you're doing ok. Am thinking of you loads and holding onto a really good feeling about this also, you inspired me to do couch25k and I am running again for the first time in ages.

Hey clem, fellow midlander here! Well, sort of as, at the moment I'm in London most of the time (and am from the saaff) but I had my first cycle in the Midlands. Which CCG are you in? I would agree with nolly - push to move on as clomid is not recommended for unexplained.

nolly any progress?

minx beginners opera sounds great! You sound like you're holding it together really well! When's otd?

spare how are you doing? Managing to get some sleep and keep the crazy dreams away? When are you testing?

Glad to hear you're doing ok back at work happy. Do you know when you'll be starting again?

Not tried melatonin sesame but it seems worth a try. I'm thinking about how I can improve my egg/blast quality. After next weekend I'm going on a full health kick - no booze, healthy eating, increased protein etc. I did it for ages but for the last 4 months I've just not been able to focus.

Thank crunchie it's friday! Tired and so ready for home. Was meant to be having a london weekend but plan was abandoned at the last minute so on my way back after all!