Strapping on our lady balls and going menkul because we HATE THIS SHIT!! The Berries: a lovely bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1

Smidge I am so sorry. Life can be really unfair and utter shit. Big hugs

Clem Instadiffers don't know how bloody lucky they have it!

Sesame This is NHS treatment. I have no idea when I'm likely to start IVF, I guess the appointment I have on 26th Nov will be talking about that stuff. Will update here once I've been.

Barking You may be right about the pregnant woman I know overcompensating but as long as I've known her, she had always been steadfast about not having children. Maybe she's mellowed out a bit. Either way, good luck to her (I say through slightly gritted teeth!)

I've been keeping my head down and working like the proverbial bee trying to not think about ttc. The more I let myself think about the more it makes me anxious/angry/sad/frustrated/all of these things! I've started back at the gym hoping I can take my frustrations out on the bloody cross trainer!

Trying to get my head in a good place is proving a bit difficult at the moment, but I'll get there. I hope everyone else is coping as well as can be. Here's to a better week!

Oh Smidge So sorry.
How are you?

smidge I'm so so sorry. Just utterly cruel and unfair. Sending berry hugs your way

Does anyone know success rates for 1 vs 2 blastocysts transferred? Is there much difference?

smidge I am so gutted for you . This is shit, no other words for it.
Let us know what AliG says tomorrow .

smidge what a cruel and sad thing to happen. I'm so, so sorry. x

So, so, so very sorry Smidge. That is utterly unfair and cruel.

smidge I'm so sorry, this is so horribly unfair.

Oh Smidge how devastating, I'm so very sorry. Absolutely gutted for you. xx

Oh smidge I'm so sorry. It's the cruelest thing ever. You poor thing, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. Look after yourself lovely and take some time. We are all here for you

Oh Smidge, I'm so sorry for you both. This is such a cruel thing to happen. Sending big hugs. X

Oh smidge I'm so so sorry. It's just so heartbreakingly unfair. Life can be so unkind.

smidge I'm so so sorry That's so fucking unfair! I'm devastated for you.

Crappity crap. As I feared, this morning's blood test came back with an HCG of only 33. Progesterone has also dropped. i think I was already losing it when I had the 175 result given by next morning my pee test was already quite light.

Life's so fucking unfair berries

It's hard to tell smidge, do you think today's line looks fainter? They look quite similar to me but it's hard to see from the photos. Try not to stress yet. Hope it goes ok tomorrow.

This is this morning's pimp results. It doesn't look good does it berries. I'm going to go in and get myself another blood test this morning.

googs and lucie they should create a worldwide list of health dept people to avoid. It's unbelievable they have so little empathy.

Oh Lucie you've had a stressful morning. 2 fertilised eggs sounds good, ok it's not as many as you'd have hoped but it's better than nothing. FX they're growing happily now. Hope you can have a more relaxing afternoon.

Smidge what a bitch that secretary is (and your sonographer Lucie) how DARE she try and pry like that. I'm all for complaining these days after my experience, bloody email the complaints dept if only to make them aware that her behaviour has crossed the line.

I had a nasty receptionist at the Scan unit. The first time I went, I was sent there from A&E after going in with severe pain (which turned out to be my cyst). She looked me up and down and said "Do you think you can just walk in here and demand a scan?".... I was shellshocked anyway from the day's events and I just kept repeating "but the Doctor told me to come here..." like a pathetic child. She made me wait until the next day.

The second time, I was booked to see the consultant, and they had requested a scan for me prior to seeing him, but hadnt fixed a date yet. I was going away for a few days, so I wanted to call the scan unit to let them know in case they booked me an appointment for those dates. I was trying to be helpful. The same woman said to me "Did they not tell you there's a long waiting list for these things?".... erm, yes I'm sure there is, shall I ask my rupturing ovarian cyst to hold off until a more convenient time for you?

I'm almost hoping I get her again the next time I get scanned, because this time I'm taking her name and complaining about her. These people have NO idea the amount of added stress and upset they give to people like us.

I can't believe that nosy secretary smidge! She sounds just like the awful somographer at my uk clinic who makes sarcastic comments all the time. The cycle we collected 7 eggs she asked if we were doing assisted intercourse which is basically what you do with only one or two eggs. Hate her so much. Really hope you get the last laugh over yours. People like this shouldn't be in these types of jobs.

Anywayy rung for my results this morning and looks like we are in exactly the same position as my last round of treatment. Of the 3 eggs collected only 2 were mature again, both of which fertilised. I was really hoping for 3 just to give us a tiny bit of leeway this time but it was not to be. She said they are developing well at the moment but it's so hard as obviously there is such a long way for them to go now and anything could happen between now and day 5. Feeling stressed!

googs I agree, AF is an awful, very unberrylike term. We need to come up with something else.
Glad you and lucie think the line is normal. I might do another one in the morning (I was trying to wait til the third day but my will power is lacking). happy I'm not sure how I did either, I think I just had to see a line for myself before I could really trust they hadn't given me someone else's test results .

The annoying secretary called and has booked me in to see AliG on Monday. She was true to her name again, starting leading questions about not knowing why Alison wanted to see me, but 'perhaps it might be about progesterone support..???' Trying to find out if I knew.. Nosy woman. I didn't fall for it though, and just replied that I wasn't sure - and "I guess I'll find out when I see her on Monday" taking pleasure in my final chance for oneupmanship. For too long she has held the power

Will be glad not to have to deal with her again! I think she is my equivalent of the baby wall in mustachio towers. I'd love to lean over and draw a big mustache on her in permanent marker on my way out of the room!!

Smidge that looks like a good old fashioned BFP to me. Dont worry about it being faint, I'm sure in a couple of days it will be stronger. I can't believe you managed not to tell DH straight away. I imagine he's just concerned and letting sink in - it's all so overwhelming.

Lucie wow that's amazing, so quick. Fingers crossed it all goes well.

Grin how bloody frustrating!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend so far. I'm waiting for AF (I bloody hate that term, is there a Berries term for it that's not so bloody twee?!). Had some spotting yesterday so I know it's on its way, and because of my Endo it's usually excruciating - so I just want it to arrive and get the torture out of the way today while I can lie on the couch with my hot water bottle!

Smidge, wow, I wouldn't say that's a faint line looks nice and clear to me. I would get some frers for your next test though. Thanks for the poms poms I think I need them. DH has said he will ring up for the results this morning while I hide in the other room as I just can't face it! We normally get good fertilisation, so far it's been 100% on the last two rounds that we've done. I'm pretty sure at least one of the eggs won't be mature though which is what happened last time. We did get 2 out of 2 to blast and frozen last time but I think we must have been extremely lucky and just not convinced that we could have the same sort of luck twice!

(This was taken at the best possible angle to make the line look darkest - in normal light you do need to squint a bit!)

Thanks to everyone for their congratulations. You are all amazing - Truly fabulous people without whom i think I'd have become a crazy humourless obsessive a very long time ago.

grin I'm so sorry the timing is all buggered up. If they know and you know it must be SO frustrating. But rules is rules and boxes must be ticked it seems Pah. I hope you aren't delayed for long.

Happy it sounds as if you could do with joining tiger on her week off. Hope the weekend gives you a breather.