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Conception

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TTC and still breastfeeding? Thread # 5 - Positive Vibes!

965 replies

peardrop2 · 18/07/2015 23:42

Peardrop - age 33, TTC cycle #9, DS is 26 months (stopped bf soon to be 4 months ago). Af returned when DS 14months, currently on CD14 and have had 4 flashing smileys. Praying for a static smiley tomorrow! Dangling legs in air!

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Leamice · 29/09/2015 10:41

Hope your friends little one is doing ok cupcakes, must have been so scary for your friend to get that call from nursery.

Dougal, I stopped the bedtime feed when DS was younger so no experience with dropping the bedtime feed for older ones, for the bedtime feed, I gave him a beaker of cows milk then cuddled him to sleep. I still cuddle to sleep most nights, not sure if its for me or him.... I guess I replaced the breastfeeding with cuddles lol. Probably not much help, I realise it must be entirely different to stop feeding toddlers as they understand so much more and can ask for it.

ThatsNotEvenAWord · 29/09/2015 09:51

Apparently I'm on cd 11. I'm still in 2 minds about trying this month as it would lead to a due date same time as DS's birthday, obviously that's assuming we'd be extremely lucky!

Elle I've read that children can often wean themselves when you're pregnant as the milk changes or dries up.

Let that sounds awful, hope everything is ok

ToElleWithIt · 29/09/2015 08:16

You poor friend LetTherebe, how frightening.

That sounds really positive Leamice. Good luck for this month.

Peardrop I definitely noticee

We're still feeding here. Not a huge amount, but a little at bedtime and once during the night. I've mostly dropped mornings. I'll try and drop the others if we don't have any joy TTC in the coming months. He's 17 months. I'm away for 2 nights this weekend and he manages fine when I'm not there, but when I come back always looks to feed. Good to hear how some of you are approaching it as one way or another I think we'll be looking to wean soon enough (would not fancy feeding when pregnant either).

CD8 here, this is the boring part! Will ramp up the efforts at the end of this week!

LetThereBeCupcakes · 29/09/2015 07:51

Dougal I’m very similar to you – DS isn’t ready to give up, but he’s taking very, very little milk now. He’s had a few long weekends at my mum’s house with no problems and I don’t feel full when he’s away so there’s obviously not much milk there. At the moment I’m not ready to push it, we’ve only just started TTC so will see how things are in a few months. Might re-evaluate if not pregnant in, say 6 months.
Fingers crossed for you, pear.
CD18 here (first time I’ve been able to write that!). Nothing exciting to report I’m afraid.

My friend’s little girl was rushed to hospital yesterday – she’s recently been diagnosed with a heart murmur and she collapsed at nursery. They think it’s a nasty virus causing a febrile confulsion. Very upsetting for everybody and she’s quite unwell with the virus. So I went over to my friend’s last night and we had a good chat about things. She’s also hoping for a DC2 but it’s not looking likely as her DH is not onboard. Such a shame as she’s an amazing mum, she has SO much patience! (teacher, so I guess that’s why!).

ThatsNotEvenAWord · 28/09/2015 22:38

How old is your DS again Pear?

peardrop2 · 28/09/2015 22:11

Dougal - I did things rather differently to you. I told DS that boobies have gone to sleep and there is no more milky. I then said we could have cuddles for as long as he wanted and that I would stay with him. The first night he whimpered in my arms for about 5/10 minutes and I paced the room before putting him in the cot. The second night he asked for cuddles on the chair. We then fell into a trap where I would have to cuddle him for about 30 minutes before he was sleepy enough to fall asleep on his own. After a few weeks of that we then moved to sleeping on the floor next to his cot and then creeping out. A couple of weeks after that I'd had enough and just walked out with him crying for me to come back. I then negotiated that I would sit for 5 minutes and then walk out. That is what we do now. We sit for 5 minutes and then we walk out. He is fine with that.

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DougalTheCheshireCat · 28/09/2015 21:14

Fingers crossed Leamice! Google has not confirmed Duchess news so thinking not? Google knows everything. Fact.

Those of you that have stopped feeding after 2yrs, or 18 months, how did you drop the bedtime feed?

DH has put DD to bed Thurs, Fri and Sat nights. I did last night and could not manage to say no to her for a v quick feed (though it was 2 mins one side, 1 min the other, tops). Tonight DH did it but i was home and said goodnight. She was ok with this on Saturday (maybe as we'd been together all day) but today she got very upset and was yelling "I want BOOBS" after i left the room and ran around refusing to let DH console her. She actually did calm down ok after 5 mins or so, but I find it v tough to listen to - all my instincts are screaming to just go back and cuddle and feed her.

I guess to really stop i need to refuse her when I'm doing bedtime and let her express her upset about that. I'm not quite motivated enough to do that yet. Though i am really ready for a second baby now.

I thought the three days in a row of no feeding maybe meant I'd stopped making milk, but, although my boobs feel fine (not over full or anything like they were when i was away for night in April) I saw a little milk leaking out on sunday morning which hasn't happened in ages. So the milk production hasn't stopped yet.

I'm out at a work event tomorrow, but realistically will do some bedtimes myself this week.

So tell me ladies, how did you stop the bedtime feed? Any ideas to make it gentle? Or do i have to find a way to just say no and tough it out?

Or is a couple of mins a day maybe ok...?

peardrop2 · 28/09/2015 13:42

Lea - yay! I have it all crossed that it's your month and that your body is ready before you even have your g appointment!!

I did an opk test this morning and the second line was faint with no ewcm around so I have to wait another week...boring!!

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Leamice · 28/09/2015 12:57

Sounds like your cycle is becoming more regular Pear, has to be a good thing.

I had major ewcm yesterday, all day was dripping sorry for the TMI!! took a opk yesterday and was quite dark, took one today and was positive so seems my body is trying to ovulate on CD51.... we dtd yesterday night and hopefully again tonight so got my fingers crossed that I Ov...

peardrop2 · 26/09/2015 14:56

I've spotted a strange pattern. Last month I suddenly got an urge to dtd on cd11 and this month it's been cd12. Weird that. Perhaps my body tries to ovulate but fails and then tries again over a week later. On a good note I think maybe my cycle length is settling. Every month it's been a different number ranging from 27-39 but the last 3 months have been 36, 35 and 36. That's got to be a good sign, right?!

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peardrop2 · 25/09/2015 22:56

Also, did a OV test today as I just wondered whether there is more pants action then normal. The second line is quite dark. Just wondering if body is trying to gear up early. Oh well I have dtd just incase!

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peardrop2 · 25/09/2015 22:40

Hello! CD 12 here and for some unknown reason I have become paranoid that I may Ov early so we have dtd just incase. Feeling a bit tipsy after a couple of glasses of wine but DH is cold sober so I'm not sure how I've managed to convince him Blush

Lea - ahhh so not long until your appointment now! What a crazy long cycle for you. I thought my 39 days was bad. I'm so sorry that you're in limbo. Sucks Sad

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Leamice · 25/09/2015 18:13

I heard those rumours but don't think its been confirmed or denied by the royals yet.

How is everyone?

Im on CD48, still no AF, so guessing I should give up hope lol. My temp did drop down, now its all over the place, sure sign of an anovulatory cycle :(
Wondering if my body will gear up to ov again or not. Cant take another 6month cycle! luckily under a month until I see the gynecologist, wish it were sooner but I've waited this long so no point going private now.

ThatsNotEvenAWord · 25/09/2015 12:32

I've seen rumours floating around, has it been confirmed then?! Shock

peardrop2 · 25/09/2015 07:21

What? Is this a joke? Did I really just read that the Duchess is pregnant again? Can't be true surely?!!!!!

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ToElleWithIt · 24/09/2015 14:39

Oh Dougal. I am sorry.

Feeding her to 27 months is an amazing achievement, you should be really proud. It sounds like you're reaching the tipping point where the benefits of a sibling outweigh the benefits of continuing to feed.

If you have a lot on at work and a house move I think that's enough to contend with for the moment. I think that getting to bed earlier, exercise and good food are definitely worth prioritising. Mother Nature is smart and I do worry about not conceiving because I feel like I'm running on empty a lot of the time. Going into my first pregnancy I was so healthy and had so much energy and I am in a very different place now.

Finally AF showed up here. 5 days late, but I'm relieved.

Swannykazoo · 24/09/2015 10:38

Just popping out of lurking to say what a lovely piece *Dougal"
21 months and no period but I think that's partly as DS is a bit allergic so I;ve been off dairy and egg and nuts for 19 of those months. I'm 3-4 dress sizes smaller so I'm suspicious the starvation theory is here. Milk ladder starting though......

peardrop2 · 22/09/2015 22:47

Dougal - thanks for the links Brew I think you're pretty amazing too! You should be mega proud of your achievements. We all should. It's amazing what we've done for our babies. Feeding my son was the best 22 months of my life and I can't believe why so many of my friends choose not to or stop so early (mostly 6 months). I am the only person I know who made it to 22months and I don't even think that is that long now. It's an amazing bond isn't it. There are just no words! Dougal, I think focusing on your health sounds very sensible. I aim to do the same. Early nights and healthy eating has to be a good thing.

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ThatsNotEvenAWord · 22/09/2015 20:25

Dougal that really moved me. You have done an amazing thing for your DD and you sound like such a lovely mum. I really hope for some more BFPs in here soon for all of you.

DougalTheCheshireCat · 22/09/2015 19:44

Thank you all for the kind words.

Yes AF is well and truly here.

I spent a good 20 mins crying in the loos at work yesterday. And then had a big weep all over DH at home in the evening too.

I really really hoped / wanted to either get pregnant while still BF, or for DD to dictate when she stops. And as my cycle patterns were improving, I hoped a bit of a boost from the gynaecologist would tip me over into BFP land.

I think now I need to let go of those wishes, and focus on the big picture. Perhaps we need to make a good space for another child in our lives. As DH said last night, another child would be great for all of us, including DD.

I told DD last night that the Boobs were going to stop working, that we have had an amazing journey, that I have loved every minute of it (while crying copiously). She didn't really listen, as she flitted between my two boobs as is her habit now.

She is really nearly there, ok with just one feed at bedtime, and that is minutes short and she flits between them. All the same she tells our nanny (and me) how much she loves boobs.

Still. Big picture. DH is putting her to bed tonight. I am still in the office, I have lots of deadlines approaching. Probably he will put her to bed tomorrow, too. If so, that will be the longest I've ever gone without feeding or pumping since she was born 27 months ago.

So this may be the end. Or maybe she'll have another little go some bedtimes yet. For me the big moment will be when she happily does bedtime with me without having a feed.

Dh and I have agreed to skip the gynae for a cycle or maybe two. It is crazy to spend that amount of money while I'm still feeding. Hopefully my cycle will settle down quickly, I'll get through these work deadlines well, we will get our house move done. We will try au natural meantime, although I've also talked with DH about how we need to prioritise the every day things: going to bed earlier, eating well, exercise. We have had too many cycles where we stay up late to DTD even though we are both running on empty. We are a bit the walking cliché of the cash rich / time poor couple, and that's not good physically or emotionally for conception. I don't think a gynaecologist can fix that, or vice versa, her help will go a lot further if we are prioritising the health and mindset basics.

I read my way out of misery yesterday, and found two links I thought I would share:

First this article www.thealphaparent.com/2014/12/how-to-get-pregnant-whilst-breastfeeding.html on how a sudden burst of energy dense foods can signal to your body that it is safe to get pregnant. I wish it had a bit more info on what to eat, but nevertheless I will be giving this a go this month to see if I can signal to my body that I'm ready. I have a v high metabolism, so getting to the point of my body intitively feeling abundance would help cycles I think.

Second this beautiful piece on the magic, power and joy of breast feeding www.naturalchild.org/guest/ruth_kamnitzer.html

I'll say it once more with feeling. I love my DD. I have loved every single moment of our breastfeeding journey. Whether it ends now or not, I hope and pray we can give her the sibling she deserves.

Leamice · 22/09/2015 09:50

and lovely of your mum Pear, sounds like she's looking forward to more grandkids :)

Leamice · 22/09/2015 09:49

I'm in the same boat Elle no AF, no signs of it coming but I probably didn't ov :(

Dougal did AF appear or was it just spotting? got my fc for you.

Thats sorry for AF, good luck for this cycle

Welcome back Cupcakes, very jealous of your regular cycles haha! hopefully not a fluke :)

ToElleWithIt · 22/09/2015 08:19

Best of luck for this month ThatsNot and Peardrop. That's really nice of your Mum peardrop.

I'm sorry Dougal, that's tough.

Still no sign of AF here. What on earth is going on (definitely not pregnant)? Last 4 cycles were all 31 days exactly and now as soon as we start TTC it goes haywire. CD35 now. Wondering did my body psyche itself up to ov, then not, but did later in the cycle? Or maybe just not at all? Frustrating as I was hoping we could just get cracking on the next cycle.

ThatsNotEvenAWord · 21/09/2015 15:16

Yep started properly now, be interesting to see what happens this month.

peardrop2 · 21/09/2015 14:37

That's - did AF show?

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