Over 40s TTC & success stories.

I haven’t posted any 'news' in a while – not since mid-October when I was trying to decide whether to go for IVF in November, or else to start DHEA and give that a couple of months to kick in before trying IVF in January. Thanks for your responses ( Twinkly, Ababs, Artioo, Cloud ... sorry if missed anyone) as they did help.

FWIW - here's what's happened since then. Soon after I posted, my decision suddenly became a lot easier, when I had a rubbish Thyroid blood test result – it’s gone under-active again – aargh!!! Previously my underactive Thyroid had been stable for some years on medication, then this year, when I needed it to behave, it’s been up and down and all over the place. To the point where, early this summer, my periods stopped and by the time I found out it was due to an over-active thyroid (and not actually the menopause, as one lazy f**ker doctor suggested) I’d probably been having anovulatory cycles for a while.

This meant that a couple of weeks ago I had to see my very sensible endocrinologist again, the only small positive being that she thinks she can explain why it’s been happening (all sorts of factors ranging from my thyroid antibodies to some rapid weight loss over a bereavement). She tweaked my dose of medication again and that needs time to settle.

So it was one more thing that tipped the balance in favour of leaving IVF (own eggs BTW) until January. If the IVF happens at all, it might well be our only shot at it, given we don’t have an endless supply of resources (both finances and hope/willpower). The bottom line is that at my advanced age of 46 I totally realise I don’t have any good options left, but for the time being, I’m still trying to pick the least worst option.

So October was a total washout for TTC - we didn’t even try. I started taking DHEA (x 3 daily) about 3 weeks ago – no adverse effects so far, or none that I’ve noticed. We’re now going for two cycles of trying naturally, before IVF in (late) January. If I’m still not pregnant after that, I’ll be running out of ideas. Perhaps we’ll NTNP, but I can’t bear to think about it at the moment.

I’m now CD14 and had some ultrasound monitoring this cycle (gritted teeth and forked out privately). I had a scan on day 3 (11 follicles - passable for my age), one on day 10, and one yesterday on day 13 (lead follicle was 21 mm and apparently you ovulate when it’s grown to 18 – 24mm).

Yes it’s expensive and no amount of info will get me pregnant, but given what I went through this summer, knowing exactly what’s happening is supposed to keep me almost calm-ish. Its fcking not of course – I’m totally strung out that we’re within a few short months of giving up, or NTNP, or something. Even my endocrinologist told me I had to realise I was under stress (weird how TTC does this to you) and I need to chill the fck out. OK, she might’ve phrased it a bit differently.

Anyway – on CD10, the scan lady told me (on the basis of what she could see on the scan) to start having sex the next day (CD11) then every other day. She was very firm that EOD is absolutely the best strategy to ahem, replenish the volume of sperm (- fair enough) AND keep up the motility (- which I didn’t know).

So we DTD on CD11, then instead of missing a day, I totally bottled it for waiting and DTD on CD12 too. So last night (should've been the most crucial, having had scan of 21 mm follicle that afternoon and OPK smiley face at 9pm - when it had been negative in the morning) DTD was a bit of an effort and I probably got the crap, scraped-from-bottom-of-barrel-type of sperm .... I never listen! Worst thing, I've still got a bloody smiley face this morning, so DP will be overjoyed to hear we ought to DTD again. (Er, really not).

Sorry for the mega 'me' post . I'll catch up with everyone else's news in a bit.

Hi I've been lurking too - did comment a few weeks ago though! AF arrived nearly 3 weeks ago so I'm now in my tww and not feeling positive this month. We've been trying since March and I had a test in July to see if I was ovulating (day 21 test) which came back good. So I've now been trying for near on 9 months and just wondered what tests the NHS would do on a 42 year old - I won't be eligible for IVF obviously due to age and have children from previous marriage.

I am loving the positivity of MN! But at the same time trying not to get my hopes up. I'm just finding all the stats really scary. I've not TTC before due to circumstance (believe me I was rarring to go at 32 but the ex wasn't interested). Feel I've made bad choices or others have made them for me and now all is lost.

Just bit the bullet and asked my mum when she went through the menopause (she is a bit sensitive at the mo). She thinks it started at 50 for her.

It's not just you City. My consultant said it's a strange obsession with the media and it's misleading, she sees a lot of unplanned pregnancies in 40+ women because the media is leading women to believe pregnancy over 40 is virtually impossible so women are stopping contraception in the believe they're safe. My sister is a theatre nurse and says exactly the same, she's seen many babies delivered to women over 40 whose pregnancies have been a surprise.

Congratulations InShock! Gives me a little hope. Its difficult when you are TTC and know what you want. I'm trying not to be obsessive but at times thoughts of "far too old" and "isn't going to happen" kick in. There is so much negativity in the press/online about older mums. It just seems to outweigh the positive (or is that just me?)

Hello, I've been lurking on this thread over the last few months (used to post) but having just read your post City I had to comment. I had my first baby this year at 42. My family would say things like 'you've left it too late now you're too old' and always describe me as 'the career one' which drove me nuts! I just hadn't met anyone I wanted to have a baby with. Anyway I did eventually and after a year of ttc, 18 months if you include a mmc, had a little girl in April this year at the age of 42. I'm now thinking of trying for a second! :) Good luck!

Oh and I am not doing well losing the half stone I wanted to. So far I have lost zero pounds

Now, what was I saying in the post I so rudely lost yesterday...

Twinkly I think I've been pretty good at putting the last few months in a box too. I guess some people might call it denial but it's working for me so far. I'm sure if I was unlucky enough to have another mc that would not be the case at all. I'll cross that bridge if I come to it! I hope AF stays away for you .

This period has been pretty normal for me thankfully, it seems I've got off very lightly. I don't think we'll ttc this month. I want to make sure all the drugs are out of my system and give our supplements a bit longer to work. That should mean that we will be trying between Christmas and NY which seems quite a nice relaxed time to do it - well as relaxed as you can be with a 23 month old to look after

People, even close family, can be thoughtless sometimes but often I think they just don't know what to say. Try not to take it too personally, I'm sure she means well. Mine was constantly asking if I was pregnant yet until I had words. She thought it would happen straight away. Long time veggie here too, gosh 26 years now I tot it up - unbelievable.

Two months is not long at all so try not to worry too much, easier said than done I know!

Thanks for the book suggestion. Now added to ipad for a little light reading later.

Thanks fof the welcome! Sorry to hear about your trials. Yes, fully aware of the quality v quantity issue which is what is freaking me out. TTC for two months now so relatively "new". I've been veggie for 22 years so hopefully reasonably healthy. Yoga, swimming and dog walking every week. More supplements than anything but thats mostly been due to adding to the veggie diet. Hoping that we are in with a chance as family history dictates older mums - dad's mum had him when she was 37 and mum's mum was 40.

When me ex left me last year and I was in tears with my mum over not having children, my mum said "well if you were going to have kids you wouldve had them by now." The words still resonate

Welcome citybumpkin, how long have you been ttc? Many of us on this thread and the pregnancy over 40 thread have conceived in our early 40's so it can be done. I started ttc my first when I turned 40 and it took 14 months resulting in my ds. I conceived immediately in August when ttc #2 but that unfortunately resulted in a mmc at around 10 weeks. At our age the issue is egg quality, not necessarily quantity, so healthy diet and some good supplements can supposedly help a lot as well as knowing when is best to dtd. A good book was recommended to me on this thread it starts with the egg, it's definitely worth a read. Wishing you all the best.

I've posted in other threads re crappy thoughts about my ex. Think all is due to me being really grumpy as I'm now with a new partner and we are TTC. My ex left me at a time when I was considering having a child...I wasn't getting any younger. So now I'm 39 and panicking that my time is really really running out.

I had booked NHS fertility checks before my ex left so went ahead with them anyway at the end of 2014. Results were as follows:
Day 3:
LH - 5.2
FSH - 5.7
Oestradiol - 177 pg/ml.
My GP said this looked okay.

So recently I opted for a more private comprehensive test. The technician said my ovaries are still "very active" (ultrasound). Now I'm waiting the results of the bloods i.e. AMH etc.

I am just really panicking that I've left it too late. Well, I suppose some choices were taken away but... My OH is 54. We are both very fit, vegetarian, non-smokers, moderate drinkers. He has 2 grown up children from a previous marriage. Just looking for some support before I go insane!

Arrrgh just lost my post! Be back later...

I've been trying to block all thoughts of the tww variety, including where I am exactly in my cycle and what I might be feeling. But I'm pretty sure I had some AF symptoms earlier...

It's taken a while to feel generally cheerful again (and mostly because of blocking stuff too!), so I'm trying not to stress. I'm doing a Scarlett O'Hara 'I'll think about it tomorrow' on a lot of things at the moment!

It's got very quiet around here, hasn't it? Are we all that's left? It used to be such a busy thread. Maybe we should go on a recruitment campaign or something...

Hope you're over the worst now and can start getting ready for some purposeful Dtd!

It got heavier yesterday, not too bad at the moment. I often get painful periods for the first couple of days and so far it's not any worse, fingers crossed. Sounds like yours was pretty bad.

How's the tww going? When is AF due?

It was not very pleasant actually. I had more pain than usual too. It was normalish to start with, except for the pain, then I had about a day and a half when it was really heavy with some clots. I don't want to give TMI, but I was very glad I was not working on the worst day. Then it tapered off, probably a bit faster than usual. I was just glad to have it over - well more glad than usual! It felt like I needed to get through a period to be fully past the ms - not sure why.

Have you had much pain?

That is a lot Twinkly

I'm only taking coQ10, a veggie omega 369 capsule (was previously taking fish oil in my pregnancy and bf supplements though I am a veggie and had these left over) and pregnacare conception. I'm relying on that for everything else though I realise the doses might not be optimal for over 40 ttc etc. I'm also taking a heaped teaspoon of maca though only over the last week despite buying it weeks ago! I've been frothing it up in some warm almond milk and a touch of vanilla paste and it's surprisingly nice, or putting it in a green smoothie. Dh is taking pregnacare conception for men and coQ10.

What was your first period like after the mc? Mine is quite light at the moment, usually heavier for the first few days.

Really sorry Fatty. Had everything crossed this would be your month. Hope to see you back again soon, if and when you are ready.

Of course I know what you mean ababsurdum! It's important to try to focus on everything else and stay positive and that's what we are trying to do. It's really comforting (I won't say 'good'!) to hear from someone else who is at a similar stage (although I'm a little ahead and am already passed first AF and into my first tww since).

Yes I did list my supplements, but that was months ago. I haven't gone back on everything yet, and am trying some new ones based on advice from people here.

Let me see... And I might not remember everything (I'll admit to not being evangelical about taking all of them EVERY day. I think I'd get ill...! But I do take a lot each day)... Maca root, a bee mixture that contains propolis, pollen and royal jelly, B complex, magnesium, Coq10, zinc, a product called Fertile CM, Pregnacare conception (although I often alternate this with some of the others rather than taking all on one day), and some sort of fish oil supplement (have lost the memory of what or why!). Other supplements that I used to take but haven't gone back to yet post mc (but which are still on my list, and I intend to go back to next month) include myoinositol, epo, Agnus Castus and progesterone cream. I also occasionally take calcium supplements and I often take iodine.

A lot, huh?

What about everyone else?

Oh Fatty I'm so sorry, what a horrible week for you. I hope you can take this time to recharge and postpone a final decision on ttc until you're past the raw stage. Wishing you lots of luck and love for the coming weeks

I think my period has started this evening which is weird, I expected it to be a bit longer. Not sure we should ttc this cycle as it's only been 4 weeks since my last set of medical management drugs. We might need to wait till next month to be sure.

Oh Fatty . I don't know what to say .... I hope your time out does you good. Take care x

well my beautiful lovely ladies...AF came with a vengeance yesterday :'( To say i am devastated is an understatement. What makes it all the harder, is that the baby i lost by mmc in may, would have been due next week, and yesterday it would have been my nans (who we lost suddenly to cancer in august) 89th birthday...so all in all a horrible week.

Im very raw and emotional right now, so am taking a time out from all things baby....all my supplements have gone down the loo, my BBT themometer has gone to the back of the first aid cupboard, my fertility charms pin (that i wore religiously) in the jewellery box, my ripleys fertility statue screensaver, and my fertility friend/period tracker apps deleted....

so for now, i want to thank you for all your support during my (over) 2 years of TTCing, for all of the advice and laughs and for the listening ears when i needed to let off steam. I wish you all the very best of baby dust and fertility vibes and hope you all get your BFP's very soon.

love always xxx

(I'm still catching up!) Lillipudlian - many congrats on being pregnant with #4. As you're 12+ weeks now, have you had your dating scan yet? Hopefully that will provide (/has provided) some reassurance, so you can stop worrying about MC and relax and enjoy your pregnancy. And thanks for the great tips too!

Sorry Twinkly I meant like you I try not to dwell on it. Not that you're dwelling on it. Not the best turn of phrase.

I’ve enjoyed catching up with everyone’s news. I'll add my update too (unfortunately its nothing exciting, still not pregnant) in a bit.

Ababs - have a for battling on – I’m sorry you’ve had such a rough ride lately with your MMC. But yay for the negative test – weird as that sounds. Must be time for your luck to change! I'm interested in supplements too - I feel like I'm really on a final push with TTC now, so I do need to start making some proper effort.

Twinkly - So sorry for the sad-moment-while-shopping . I'm quite familiar with that scenario, unfortunately - its horrid. I'm also experiencing the not-exercising guilt too. I'd love to know what's in your pharmacy - any magic bullets amongst those supplements?

Fatty - ooh I’m a bit excited now! Hope the headache is nothing and AF stays away. If effort is justly rewarded then it sounds like you deserve to be pregnant with twins!

But if it does turn out that you’re not pregnant, I can’t think it would mean that you necessarily should give up, just because you did everything right in October (and think if that didn’t work, what will...) What if you only ovulate a good egg in say, 9 out of 12 months, and October just wasn’t one of those months?????? On the other hand I think (if I remember correctly) you have a few lovely DC already, so maybe that gives you a different perspective on all this. Only you can weigh it up, obviously. From a totally selfish perspective I’d be sorry to see you go because you make me laugh – with your overactive knife and fork and all that.

Notsoold and Artioo - if you’re still around – hope early pregnancy is going well. Best wishes to you both.

Cloud and Grizzer - again if you’re still around – fantastic to hear you’ve both progressed so well and nearly have new babies now – wow! It’s amazing how time flies once you get it right.

If you’re reading Cloud - I remember you saying that you took DHEA for 3 months before conceiving this pregnancy. I’ve just started taking it myself. At the moment I think I’m going to continue it through the 2ww when we’re trying naturally. Can I ask whether you did the same – i.e. whether you took it when you conceived (and during the 2ww)?

Jass - nice to hear from you. Sorry for the BFN (is it still a BFN?). I hope you marked your baby’s recent due date without too much pain. Also hoping this next won't come out wrong, or appear insensitive, but it struck me that from your perspective it might seem like a long time since you were last pregnant - I just mean because you've been getting pregnant so often? But I was also thinking about when I saw Professor Brosens (the recurrent miscarriage consultant) and what he told me about the theory of a fussy vs not fussy endometrium (I know that you know about that theory). Do you think it might indicate that maybe your endometrium is now becoming suitably fussy, just ready for a sticky bean????

Green - thanks for the reminder of your positive outcome and its so great to hear how much you’re enjoying your baby DS. And thanks for sharing about your friend’s surprise baby at 47 – I do love a good ‘not trying’ anecdote.

You mention a frozen cycle in the New Year – have you decided when it might be yet?

Also, I'd love to hear how you’re getting on trying naturally – as we are the same age . I wondered if having your frostie waiting for when you are ready is taking some of the stress out of TTC naturally? Not that I have the luxury of that position, but I’d certainly be interested to hear any other tips you might have!