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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Still struggling to conceive no. 2 after getting pregnant easily first time round

504 replies

LittlePoot · 17/07/2015 22:20

So, on the back of a run of rather fantastic success stories, it's time to start another thread for those of us still driving ourselves a bit nuts trying to work out why number 2 seems to be so elusive. New frustrated, obsessive testers always welcome (as are our lovely graduates) and let's hope this thread turns out as many success stories as the last.

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OutVileJelly · 20/07/2015 09:27

Whoops, posted too soon. LittlePoot, hope this is your month and you don't have the pre AF crash and burn. Are you taking any supplements? I am wondering whether to try some again.

Guess where I am going today....a Bonnie Babies competition. I am only working for 3 hours today, so "free" to watch my nephew while SIL takes the youngest on stage. It's almost funny. I may as well carry around a hair shirt and a small whip :)

OutVileJelly · 20/07/2015 09:23

Same here, on the career front. I am going for things now, but I spent a good year stagnating, and letting opportunities slip by. No more of that, anyway!

I have no baby things left at all. They have all been "borrowed" by friends who said things like "you will want it back soon enough!" Ha.

DD is long past the picture book stage, and wants to give them away to make more room in her book case for Harry sodding Potter. I won't get rid of them though, not her lovely books that I chose so carefully and read to her every night.

Original poster
LittlePoot · 19/07/2015 22:45

Ha - don't be daft- that's exactly what its here for. I know what you mean about the limbo - that's what does my head in. Well, as well as the obsessive ov testing, dtd on the "right" days and symptom spotting before the inevitable realisation it hasn't worked....again. I'm in my sane part of the month - that part where its too late to shag (apart from for fun of course - ha, as if!) and still too early to think about symptoms. By the end of this week I'll be a wreck again no doubt. But yes, if someone could just tell me that it won't ever work then I could just move on. I'm not doing anything like avoiding booking holidays just in case (like I think I did at the very start), but I'm staying fairly still in my career and not clearing out all the baby stuff etc just in case.

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OutVileJelly · 19/07/2015 22:16

Good grief, sorry for coming and splodging misery all over the thread!

OutVileJelly · 19/07/2015 22:14

Hurrah :)

I was briefly on another TTC forum, but most posters who were struggling were trying for their first, and I felt guilty for moaning

I know I haven't been trying nearly as long as some people, but I have this unshakeable feeling that I will never carry another child. I am not at all woo, so I know that rationally I am talking out of my arse, but it is almost like a body memory. The same way that I knew DD was going to be a girl, all through my pregnancy.

Sometimes I wonder what the point is of trying. In some ways I think it might be easier if someone could just come along and tell me that I won't have another, because I could come to terms with that, focus on other things

I can't stand this limbo. This whole week I have felt on the brink of this deep pit of sadness, and I wish I could just close my eyes and fall in.

But next week, I will probably feel OK and carry on as normal, until the next time

Original poster
LittlePoot · 19/07/2015 22:01

Bitching and moaning? You've come to the right place jelly.

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OutVileJelly · 19/07/2015 21:37

Can I join in? We have been TTC my second child, and DHs first, since March 2014. The first few months were full of excitement and hope. Then as time went on, I started obsessively tracking cycles, supplements etc. After the year mark, I stopped all that and tried to relax. Now I just feel desperately sad, and I don't think it is ever going to happen. My lovely DD is turning 8 soon, which I think has kicked off my reaction. My friend has a 4 month old. DD is unbelievable with him. We spent the whole day with them recently, and I swung between feeling so proud of my daughter, and feeling that a part of my heart was just breaking

I need the help and support of others in this situation, just for a bitch and a moan. Very few people in rl know we are TTC, and there is not much the ones that do know can say.

FlourishingMrs · 19/07/2015 18:04

I would use wondfos and only use clearblue digital once the second line starts to get darker, that way you don't use the a lot of the expensive ones.

Once you get high fertility, flashing, move your testing to after 11am

Fruitbatyogi · 19/07/2015 15:25

I've given up too, IC opks and temping at the moment, although too be honest I often seem to miss the peak on the opk.

its a lot of effort keeping up the bd for days ;)

Brindler · 19/07/2015 14:02

I used to get that with the clearblue digital village. Absolutely drove me insane especially as they're so expensive and you have to use them for such a long period of time. I ended up ditching it after a few months!

VillageFete · 19/07/2015 10:32

Morning all & welcome aboard finally.

I hate these clearblue digital ovulation tests. Day 7 of the flashing "high fertility" face. Before that it was 3 days of low fertility & now i've ran out of tests. What shall I do? I don't think i'll get the peak face in this cycle will I?

My last period was 28th June, there's on average 32 days in my cycle (can range from 30-35 though) i'm due on again around 30/31st this month. Shouldn't I have ovulated by now?

I've dtd every day for the 6 days and praying there's a chance I can conceive? Had the mother of all fights with DP last night. I mean literally hysterical screaming and me leaving the house to calm down at 1am, so there'll be no dtd again in this cycle.

Original poster
LittlePoot · 19/07/2015 08:22

Finally - how late was late? How horrible for you. I lost mine at 13 and 10 weeks, one chromosomal and one not. I remember that feeling that it was never going to happen very well but then I was third time lucky with ds. Like I said, my work friend had 7 miscarriages (can't imagine!) and is now successfully having her number 2 but she went for private testing and got treatment for a blood clotting disorder that was causing the mcs. There's lots of testing available privately but fingers crossed you don't have to go that far and things start working out better.

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Original poster
LittlePoot · 19/07/2015 08:15

Hi fruitbat. Hope you had a lovely holiday.

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Fruitbatyogi · 19/07/2015 05:09

Hello I'm still here too, still trying , just back from holiday and 6 dpo and waiting...

Congratulations to Ems and Burning that's completely amazing SmileSmile

Finallyonboard · 19/07/2015 00:27

Thanks Little. I had chromosomal tests after a very late miscarriage. All fine so apparently, just bad luck. No further tests and was told I 'just need to keep trying'. It's such a horrible experience and I honestly wonder if I'll ever have another child.

Original poster
LittlePoot · 18/07/2015 22:11

Em-your trick sounds much more fun than supplements, that's for sure.

Finally - please do join us. We've just had a massive run of bfps including those trying for 18 months - 2 years, so hopefully we'll be there soon too. I've been trying 2 years now after getting pregnant with ds in month 2. Not even a hint of a bfp in all that time so I refuse to believe NHS tests that say all is fine. I'm really sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I had two pregnancies before ds so I have an idea how horrible it is. Have you had any testing done?

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Finallyonboard · 18/07/2015 21:04

Can I join please, I'm new. TTC second for two years and I've had two miscarriages. First DC was conceived first month of trying with the easiest pregnancy, so I had no ideas number two would be quite so tricky.

EmFlat · 18/07/2015 20:59

Thanks Crispie and Burning Wink Hm? I thought I did post a last message somewhere but may have been confused - long day yesterday, barely any sleep Confused

Village, as Sod's Law would have it, my trick was to stop trying so hard. We only dtd twice this whole month: was so disappointed last month that I was gonna leave it until after the house move.

I did (tmi) try 'reaching satisfaction' after hubby the second time, then lying with hips raised for as long as poss after (in fact, fell asleep for the night). That was what we did for DS1 too, so I wonder if that's it?

Original poster
LittlePoot · 18/07/2015 14:17

That does sound a bit odd village. I think I only get the flashing faces two or three times. Try a few more days and see what happens. The cd21 test showed you did ovulate that month, but it is possible not to ovulate every single month (I get funny pmt symptoms mid cycle sometimes and I always wonder if I didn't ov those months.)

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VillageFete · 18/07/2015 10:00

I put peak fertility in my post above, I meant high fertility! I am waiting for peak fertility, but worried it won't come after 6 days of high fertility. It says it you have those smiley faces for 9 days or more, it's likely you won't ovulate this cycle?! My Dr done my blood tests a couple of months ago on CD21 and told me that it showed I ovulated. Not sure I should believe it now?!

BurningGubbins · 18/07/2015 09:09

Congratulations Em! just checked back on the old thread and couldn't quite grasp what was going on for a sec there! I blame the 6am start.

Little, I'll be interested to see how that goes, must be worth a try.

VillageFete · 18/07/2015 09:02

YAAAYYYY!!! HUGE CONGRATS burning and em flat Amazing news!

Em flat Did you do anything different this month?

I'm on day 6 of flashing smiley faces on them bloody clearblue digital ovulation tests, didn't even know you could get the flashing face (peak fertility) for that long? Feeling so fed up with it all now. Cannot be bothered to dtd any more. 6 days in a row has ensured it's become mechanical and not enjoyable.

Original poster
LittlePoot · 18/07/2015 08:44

Yes, there have been bfps all round. Brindler, burning and Em all in a row. Its going to be mighty quiet around here....

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crispiecrunchie · 18/07/2015 08:29

That was congrats to burning?! Brindler did you get a bfp too that I missed?

crispiecrunchie · 18/07/2015 08:27

Hello all

Popping back to join new thread and say congratulations to em and brindler! Had growth scan yesterday at 29 weeks and all looking fine.

Aren't we also due some birth news soon? Loves must be about 37 weeks or so?

Great to see others conceiving after close to two years trying. Proves its possible!