TTC after MC (#7) - fx for better times ahead

Thanks lovely ladies for welcoming me. As for counselling and IVF. They briefly mentioned that we could access a counsellor at CARE if we wanted to. I was just desperately hoping that I could get pregnant again naturally and avoid IVF. It sounds really invasive and my hopes have been raised by the clinic because I've got pregnant before. I'm so sorry to hear that other people are suffering and having a tough time. I'm so glad I've found this group though, because if you're not going through it, you just don't understand. Hearing "it'll happen when it's meant to" or the favourite "just relax" is soo frustrating ????

Such lovely and comforting words! You ladies are so nice. Reebok thanks for explaining. Wtf cycle now makes me smile...who would have thought!
paws I feel for you...think a large glass of wine is in order

Oh noodle you poor love, it does get easier with time, I was starting to get back to the old me about two months after the first mc, but then I fell pg again (was obviously really happy about) and then mc'd again...put me even further back than square one!
Its normal to feel judgmental though, so don't beat yourself up over feeling that way, its your mind's defense mechanism.
Re, dtd with dp for first time, I think I cried after too, I barely made it through it! That definitely gets easier with time, you will feel close again I promise, your bound to be very emotional atm hun...perhaps a glass of wine for you too! But then again my first glass of wine made me cry too...we end up relating everything to pregnancy don't we?

You will be pg again hun, I know its shit, but it really is just about giving yourself time to grieve for your lost little one...be kind to yourself, don't beat yourself up, and remember that it 'will' get better...slowly but surely xxx

paws you sound like your having a proper shite time have a glass of wine will you still can and turn the tv up loud

i can totally identify with the jealous rages at the sight of pregnant women and newborns. It bubbles up inside me and i feel so ashamed afterwards - especially for judging how 'deserving' some women are of there bumps because they were smoking/eating mcdonalds/already have a child etc etc Im hoping it will get easier but like some of you im finding it hard not to think about the fact that my bump should be showing now and that is so shit.

me and dp had sex for the first time since i lost my baby and i cried afterwards i need to get a grip!

carrot you have to have implanted in order to obtain a +hpt... You only produce hcg once you have implanted, hence, you can only get a +hpt once you are producing hcg

Yes I think a drink may be in order!

reebok hope you're feeling a little better today? Get yourself to doctors tomorrow if you've still got that fever hun...its most probably your hormones trying to sort themselves out, our body's go crazy trying to reset themselves after mc, especially around the time you would be due AF xx

Well...the baby's home and crying. Really was hoping they wouldn't come back from the hospital for another few days, not that I was hoping anything was wrong with baby...just that its my fertile phase and dtd is going to be very hard with the sounds of baby overhead, and to top it all off, its the anniversary of the day my dad killed himself too....

Sometimes I wonder if we're put on this earth to be tested?

I'm trying so hard to focus on making our baby, how do I take my mind off what's above my head?

I believe carrot fell in wtf cycle last month?

Welcome coco sorry for your loss someone will be along soon that has fallen in wtf c. Xx

Thanks paws. Really hope this flu goes soon as it's so hard looking after LO alone while hubby at work. Had a temp at 3am last night.

Welcome coco. I'm so sorry for your loss. Here's hoping you will find comfort in this thread. Wtf cycle is your what the f* cycle...meaning it will be all over the place and messed up after a mc. I'm currently in my wtf cycle. Mc 4 weeks ago and awaiting first AF. We started Ttc straight away and have been taking a laid back approach and not charting etc so I doubt I'm pregnant this cycle. It's been known for some women to get pregnant before first AF arrives..I'm sure someone will be along soon who has conceived straight away. If you are sure you want to Ttc straight away, just ensure you have a negative pregnancy test first to ensure all hormones are gone.

Hi everyone! Do you mind if I join?
Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear of everyone's losses. I have read back on a few pages.
My story is that I had a mmc diagnosed at my 11 week scan a week tomorrow. I had ERPC last thursday. I feel so empty and devastated. The early scan I had at 6+4 showed a perfect heart beat and I felt so reassured. The bleeding has now stopped and I am desperate to ttc asap.
Can someone please explain what is 'wtf' cycle? Also, I don't want to wait for a proper AF before ttc. Has anyone managed to get pg before a proper AF? Thank you

Well I wish you a speedy recovery reebok...at least you're not obsessing about ttc and are taking it at your own pace! Wish I could be a bit more in control with it all, I don't think it's healthy all my charting, counting, waiting etc...but hey ho....the method to my madness, is that I'll calm down once in pg that's what I keep telling myself anyway x

carrot glad all is well, take it easy if you can, don't push yourself too much X

Well to be honest we have taken the 'whatever happens happens' approach. Not charting etc so no idea when I ovulated. We have barely dtd this cycle anyway as to begin with I really wanted to but sometime last week I suddenly went off it! My hormones are probably still all over the place. Highly doubt I'm pregnant. Probably just run down from my LO keeping me up at night.

carrot hope things are going well. X

Hugs your way too fruit xx

Meant to say "convinced I was pg in both my wtf cycles" not 'symptoms'

Doh!!!

How's the pregnancy going carrot? Xx

Aw bless you, so kind...i can't remember if you were ttc in your wtf cycle? As the annoying thing is, in the 'wtf' cycle, the pms symptoms are virtually identical to pregnancy symptoms (I know pms symptoms are like pg symptoms anyway, but wtf cycle pms symptoms even more so)
Really don't want to get your hopes up hun, but if you've not been using contraception then there is always the chance you may be pg? I was convinced I was pg in both my wtf symptoms, so cruel... Hope you're feeling better soon no matter what the outcome xxx

Thank you paws...I think I'm getting a temperature now...feeling shivery and getting aches and pains. Haven't felt this unwell in a while!

Re the 'me' posts...don't worry about it! That's what this thread is here for. Lots of hugs coming your way xxx

reebok sorry you're feeling crappy, I know how horrid the lead-up to first AF post mc is! The headaches were awful, and the cramps weren't nice either...sounds like AF is getting closer though hun, probably not long now. Hope it comes quickly and as pain free as possible for you. Xx

Welcome newbies, wonderful support thread...nothing you can't get off your chest here, I know I've had my fare share of rants! Sorry for your losses, with regards to ttc and dtd every other day, I would say if you don't want to chart and track then eod is probably a good idea so you don't risk missing your fertile window! That's if you feel up to eod, I know I couldn't manage it, I use fertility friend ap. Its really good, simply too, you can choose to chart as much or little as you want, it has tutorial videos and such which explain the basics. Its given me a sense of control and empowerment over my fertility and I would recommend it.
But if you're worried about getting wrapped up in ttc and don't want to chart, you can dtd eod, or simply keep an eye on your cervical fluid so you know when the best time to dtd is around ovulation.

Just wanted to say to everyone, I'm sorry for the recent 'me' posts lately, just not in a good place atm, thanks you all for your support...such a lovely bunch of gals! Xxx

Hi all, hope you're doing ok. paws sorry to hear things have been so tough on you lately. Welcome to all the newbies. I am very sorry for your losses.

Feeling awful today. 4 weeks now since the mc. Getting cramps and that heavy feeling like AF may arrive but no sign yet. Also getting the most excruciating headaches which make me feel so nauseous. Seem to be worse when I'm hungry. Feel like crap. Slept for 2 and a half hours with my LO but it didn't help. If AF is going to arrive I wish it would hurry up already so I can get it over with and start Ttc.

hi everyone hope you don't mind if i join.

had a tfmr at 13 weeks on 6/8/15 after a lethal diagnosis at the 12 week scan (after positive scans at 8 and 10 weeks ). Baby was unplanned but very wanted and both me and dp are now positive we want a baby so starting on my first ttc journey now.

Anybody else just dtd every other day without temping or anything? Not sure i would know how. And any vitamins i should be taking other than FA and vit D?

Hi Tailor, sorry for your loss.

Not sure that others do but I'm finding having a project helps. We bought an old house and are restoring it, which means whenever I'm not working I'm managing contractors or painting. I've really thrown myself into it and the results are rewarding which helps stop me obsessing about babies.

Hi everyone, hope you don't mind if I join.
Had a mc and surgery early July and decided to start ttc again - emotionally still all over the place but feel like getting pregnant again would be a huge help.
We also have a sil on both sides of the family pregnant and due within weeks of when we would have bene so it's very difficult to think about not trying. I think it will be easier to cope with babies in the new year if we're at least pregnant (and it's a sticky one).
Anyone have any ideas how to not obsess and deal with others baby news? xXx

Can't believe it, how much more can my face be rubbed in it, 3 times today delivery men have knocked on my door to deliver push-chairs, baby clothes, cot bed!
Feel like screaming at them...