TTC after MC (#7) - fx for better times ahead

Thank you Paws. Appreciate your kind words. Wish I could be more like you and actually say something when people say horrible things. I just cried and cried for hours after she said it privately.

Btw is anyone getting a sort of bubbly popping feeling across their pubic bone? Can't really explain it. Wondering if it means I'm ovulating...pre mc I was on the pill so didn't ovulate so ovulation symptoms are quite new to me.

That's right, its the dreams and hopes we lose....which means it doesn't matter how far along you were, its everything attached to being a mummy that we lose! Senseless woman! I wouldn't have been able to bite my tongue! ... But that's just me, I tend to speak my mind if I feel I need to, doesn't always work in my favour, but its better to say what you feel rather than bottle it up...if we dont express our emotions they can creep out in ways we don't want them to!

We are always here to talk to hun, don't forget that...and you can certainly speak your mind here! Xxx

Thanks ladies. Don't really have anyone in rl to talk to about it so helps to have you all.

I definitely agree that you have to have been through it to understand what it feels like. I've had people who have been through it though tell me that my mcs can't have been that bad as my baby wasn't fully formed get and their one was at 4 months. Made me feel like crap. I wanted to shout and scream that it doesn't matter when you mc...it's still your baby that you have lost.

Oh god I just read that back about how to handle pregnant women firing questions at you...sounds so bad! I really don't mean to 'upset' them, just get them to think about how 'you' may be feeling for one minute. It's difficult though, as I don't think anyone can truly understand unless they've been through it themselves!

Aw hun! We've all been there! It is only normal to feel like this! Don't be hard on Yourself!

reebok oh bless you my love, I'm the same with being positive and excited one minute, then flipping out at dh for minor things! Maybe just be honest with your sis, if she's any sister she'll understand and want to be there for you, I would sit her down and calmly ask her how excited she is about her pregnancy, ask her all the plans she's made, what she thinks he/she will be named....then say, now imagine one day you lost all of that.....
Obviously I mean saying something like that in a very calm, quite and respectful manner, I just think for people who haven't been through it and are pg asked question after question not being sensitive to your situation, needs to 'imagine/picture' what it feels like. I hope you are feeling better soon hun, we will all get there in the end, we all will, wether its next week, next month, or next year...we WILL get our babies! Xxx

mummy those feelings are normal, not bad (what I keep telling myself)
So don't beat yourself up about it, perhaps she will be a little more sympathetic towards your previous situation given what she has just experienced and nearly lost! Xxx

adventure welcome back hun, go for it! Good luck, fingers crossed the holiday works it's magic Xxx

white I had a d&c a month after my mmc (retained products - I hate that word) and my period came exactly 28 days later. With my second mc (last month) I have just come on again, exactly 28 days later!
But every one is different hun, you may be on time, you may be a few days or weeks out, it may be light and short, or heavy and long....mine was light one day, heavy for two, then stopped very suddenly. It was uncomfortable (as is this one I'm having now) but again, yours may be completely different... I'm afraid only time will tell...Xxx

Ah reebok, that's really tough. Hope you're not too low - such a difficult time and sounds like you've really been through it. Having a good cry can be a good thing. You need to let it out I guess

Hi all, hope you're all having a good evening.

Welcome white. I'm sorry for your loss. I know how you feel about having to have a million and one scans before having mc confirmed. With both my mc I had to have 7/8 scans before they confirmed I had lost my babies. Was heart breaking...hated walking into that epau as there were lots of pregnant women with bumps and at one point a woman with her new born.

I'm having a rough day. My sis is pregnant. She's been doing my head in asking questions about pregnancy/labour....normally I wouldn't mind answering her questions but it's only been 3 weeks since I mc and I'm finding it difficult. Spent the day laying on the sofa looking through pictures of my LO as a newborn and sobbing. Sorry...just feeling really low at the moment. My hormones are all over the place. One minute I'm excited about ttc and wanting to dtd and the next minute, I'm yelling at my OH and telling him to pee off. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Paws I remember you telling me about your neighbour! How upsetting that she is pregnant. Maybe they will move house? A friend/neighbour of mine who was pregnant before my mc (not trying, didn't want more DCs, gleefully told me she was expecting when knowing how much I longed for another) got really chummy once I was pg too then didn't support me at all during my mc then found a reason to fall out with me was rushed to hospital the other day at around 20 weeks with contractions. My first though was at least she will know what I went through. It's awful I know but they have given her drugs and everything is ok. Which is great news.

White they aren't stupid at all. Wait for the negative then you can try, no need to wait until af though it does make dating a pregnancy difficult if you got your bfp cycle 1 post mc. But that didn't stop most of us trying!

Congratulations carrot !!! Xx

Welcome white, I agree with waiting for first negative as it will save you a hell of a lot of heartache hun...i went through mmc with 4 weeks of 7 scans so I know how you're feeling. Just take your time to grieve and be kind to yourself. Sorry for your loss x

feathered hi, I recognise you from the recurrent miscarriage support thread, I'm on there, but on here more as everyone knows me well now! Plus you ladies can chat for England, can't keep up lol! So many of you too!
With regards to feeling embarrassed and a failure I completely get that, so many people around me are pg atm, even my aunt's effin dog! The women who moved in above us in February was newly pg just as we found out that we were too! But they are the neighbours from hell! She's an awful woman, complete antisocial w***s tbh, they like stamping on the ceiling to annoy us, and keep us up till silly o'clock. Then we lost ours in April, my other neighbours saw her run down the stairs in the middle of the night clutching her stomach and crying, we assume she had lost hers too...(now not that I would wish mc on any woman or unborn baby, but thinking that I wouldn't have to hear her crying newborn 24/7 when we'd lost ours made me sigh with relief, I was dreading it)
Anyway saw her yesterday and she's the size of a house now, definitely pg...since she's moved in we've lost two babies, and finding out I'm soon to be hearing hers has got me really depressed. Its a race against the clock now to be pg again before she has hers, well...that's how I feel anyway! How many mcs have you had if you don't mind me asking? X

Thank you all for asking after me and all the warm wishes, horrible horrid wtf cycle had me convinced I was pg yet again!
Full on AF today with some kick ass cramps and clots...

Started using fertility friend now, even though I already know when I ovulate, and pretty much keep my previous temps in my head, but it makes me feel like I'm 'doing' something!

Hope everyone is keeping ok, hugs and baby dust to all! Xx

Thanks carrot for your reply, they told me to take a test in 2 weeks for a negative result of not to call them. If that is negative is it ok to try from them or should I wait for a first period? This is my first miscarriage and I feel like I wasn't told a lot about the future by the hospital, so may ask lots of stupid questions

Hi all, I hope it's ok to join. I've just had a missed miscarriage and had an ERPC yesterday after a long 4 weeks of needing scans, scans and more scans to finally confirm it. I'm desperate to try again straight away but wondered what kind of happens now, did it take long for people's cycles to return and can I try as soon as I feel up too it?

Reading all these posts....I could have written them myself! I totally sympathise Paws - I just want to pregnant again too. Finding it really hard at the moment with so many friends getting pregnant - and have a wedding this weekend with a friend who is due when I'd have been due and another who'll be there with her newborn.

I know it's common and that MC doesn't mean my body is never going to carry a baby, but can't help but feel a sense of failure/embarrassment that I am the only one (out of my friends) that this has happened to.

Carrot congratulations!!

Adventure good luck ttc again.

And big hugs to everyone having a hard time, especially paws

Hi, Haven't been on here for a while as some of you know I wasn't properly ttc after mc as I went back to pre pregnancy 'do we really want a baby' panic !!

My cycles have been completely bang on 42 days each time since erpc with a very clear week of cm so I can clearly see when ovulating etc.

I've worked out I should be ovulating during our holiday abroad which seems the perfect time to go for it but I'm so scared of change !!!!

Morning all. Hope you're all having a better day...especially you paws.
LO is at nursery today so will have a day to myself.
carrot very exciting news!! Congrats! Here's to a happy and healthy 9 months. Know what you mean about milestones...I was same with my LO after my first mc only my milestones didn't end until she started kicking...wouldn't connect with her until then and I had hypermesis so was sick as a dog! Fc for you.

Been feeling odd...not sure if I'm ovulating as not using opks or charting etc...been having mild period like cramps, discharge (sorry tmi), boobs ache, terrible pms and these strange bubbly feelings below. So could be AF on the way...no idea. I know I'm probably crazy as not had period since mc but we have decided to just see what happens. Fc for us all! We need some more BFPs!!!!

Paws after the Feb mc my body was messed up. I ovulated late and af early, no much cm etc.
This month however I have a bit more of cm so I hope the hormones are back where they should be. I keep telling myself that all the crying is also due to hormones.
On the bright side I feel a lot more optimistic about the next pregnancy. I really believe that next time it will be ok.

raluca I'm sorry if I've unearthed those feelings for you, I completely understand about not being able to be excited about/connect with a future pregnancy.
It's strange isn't it, we desperately need and want to be pregnant, yet when we are, we feel odd...nothing like being pregnant for the first time when all those feelings of excitement and joy are amazing. Mc sucks all the magic and naivety out it doesn't it.
That flushing comment made me laugh, true though...im guilty of doing that!
I'm glad you managed to enjoy some time out with family...im taking your advice and trying to remind myself that soon, I will have no time for myself, no sleep, so just enjoy it while it lasts! Xxx

reebok I second the chocolate therapy, doesn't do much for the waistline though lol....glad you're keeping busy. I don't think ill ever forget as such, no amount of time would make the pain of loss forgetful, but I believe time does make it more manageable and easier to accept xxx

emu I have 3 crazy cats too! One is a Siamese (my baby) and she alone keeps me on my toes! A loss is a loss, doesn't matter how many weeks you were, or how it happened, so please don't think you have suffered any less hun, you equally need to grieve too!
I have tried all this summer to be pg by due date of first miscarried pregnancy November 5th, and have a few more shots at it, but it creeps up so quietly and quickly doesn't it! Was at doctors today and had two babies being coo'd over by their mummys, burst into silence tears and had to hide my face (how embarrassing)
If I continue to feel like this after holiday I may very well go to see my doctor, only thing I she's on her maternity leave until October ironically! She's such a lovely lady, I went to see her when I first found out about my first pregnancy, she was 8 months then, and just about to go on her leave...will be hard to break it to her that in the time she's been away and had her baby girl I've lost two babies...
Sorry to hear you had a cycle accident, hope nothing too serious!
I'm eating very healthy using my nutriblast, best kitchen gadget I ever bought! Be kind to yourself too hun. Hugs xxx

penguin fc you get your bfp soon...fingers crossed for all of us!
Oh I wallowed today...as I mentioned to emu above
I do feel like I should be coping better, but its only been a few weeks since second mc so I spose I should cut myself some slack! Thank you for reminding me there's no shame given the circumstances, hugs your way too! Xxx

Thanks everyone, bleeding a little more brown today, tested again even though I know the answer as my temp dropped this morning, never had an evap line before, what an evil time to get an evap! Looks like a line, but more gray and shadowy....ah,...such is life xxx

paws I hope you are feeling better today. It does sound like you really have been through it all and I can completely understand your desire to be pregnant again (as I know I just need this BFP). But take time to wallow and recover. Mentally and physically you have had a tough time of it and there is no shame in finding that difficult at all.

paws you are a few weeks post mc aren't you and suffering a pretty bad illness?? I don't think you can expect to feel anything but crappy. I don't have any children (apart from three crazy cats) and suffered a miscarriage at six weeks. I know now reading other peoples stories that it could have been at lot worse but it still knocked me for six and when I go to things like my niece and nephews parties, I can't help but feel sad - especially as my due date is coming up and I'd assumed I'd be pregnant again by then.

I think take it one day at a time - if you like being outside, I think that can really help to get away from it even if it's just for 10 mins or so. I know you're not looking forward to it so don't think too far ahead to your holiday. It's corny but the break will do you good. You need time to recover properly from glandular fever for one!!

If you still feel like you're in a fog and it's not getting better then don't be afraid to speak to the doctor. I saw mine about a month later when I got hit by a car when I was cycling. I thought I was fine about my mc but he asked me about it, I totally broke down and he was amazing so don't be afraid to speak to someone.

I think what you say re antibodies makes a lot of sense. You're obviously v ill and our bodies can only do so much so unfortunately your body probably just couldn't cope with sustaining a pregnancy right now.

I know you just want to be pregnant - I was exactly the same but if you can, focus on your health overall first. That's got the added bonus of helping you get/stay pregnant. You're doing good paws take it one day at a time! be kind to yourself and don't expect too much right now xxx

paws sorry you're feeling so awful. Been having a few of those days myself and just trying to keep myself busy by seeing friends, spending time with my LO and eating chocolate! The chocolate really helps alongside a good chick flick! People who have never experienced a mc say you will forget with time...well it's been 3 years since my first mc and 2 weeks since my second and I still haven't forgotten...I think it's made it harder for me to connect with a pregnancy straight away...I wouldn't allow myself to bond with my LO until I was 20 weeks pregnant...convinced myself I would mc again.

Sorry for the rant...it's been one of those days. Anyway just wanted to let you know that you are not alone with how you are feeling. Hugs.

Paws I totally know how you feel! However, don't let yourself dragged into this spiral! I had 2 mcs and the second was exactly 3 months after the first. What was stranger than that... both happen @ 9w3d. With the first it was harder as I have already seen the baby having heartbeat. Second was a blighted ovum. I had no symptoms of being pregnant apart from lack of af so this got me thinking and unfortunately I was right. Probably because I had already been through a mc and had no symptoms I didn't connect with my 3rd pregnancy. So when the dr said it is not alive I was not grieving. I was sad but not by far as sad as I had been with my 2dn pregnancy. I howled like a wounded wolf with that. Now that I write this i still cry.
My point is: if you are not pregnant yet enjoy your non pregnant days! At some point you will be and then you will probably be careful and not do some things that you are allowed to now. I went skating and had a good time with my family and it actually helped not thinking as much about it, not clinging to my sorrow.
Today I have been home hunting with my parents. I was planning to poas for opk. I got to do it @ 9pm. But it was a good day for me. I spent it with my family in town, laughing and hoping and making plans. I got my vitamins in the morning and I'm planning to dtd tomorrow (yesterday was, as as someone else here said, just flushing) so fingers crossed for a sticky little bean!
Hugs and don't give up!