From wallowing to something more bfp inducing

Ah, I've found my people! I've lost 3 in 18 months and have put on a bit of chunk. I get pregnant, so I eat, then I lose it, so I eat - rinse and repeat. I'm smoking more than I ever have, due to the 'fuck it' cigarettes after the miscarriages. I have a gym membership I never use, my hair is in dire need of a cut and I've had the teeth whitening stuff that's just sat there waiting to be used. I spunked £300 on one of those home IPL thingy's and stopped using it just in case. So I'm chubby, stink of fags, unfit, have split ends, yellow teeth and I am hairy in general. Can I have a kick up the arse too please to get me out of this hole?

flat I don't know if I mentioned I have a Fitbit and in the 1st 5 months of the year did 10,000 steps per day apart from about 6 days. Since June I've lost all the motivation! I keep missing it by a few hundred steps, or on days like today 5,000 steps . I promise I'll hit 10,000 every day for the rest of the week. Wish I had a more active job!! I shave hit a bit of a low though and need this group to pull me out of it! Anyone else on here with a Fitbit who wants to be my Fitbit friend and help motivate me with challenges??

I think DP is really expecting us to get pregnant this month as it's the 1st month he has actually tried and been motivated to dtd at the right time. He asked this evening when I can test. Friday is the answer although everything happening with my body mimmicks the past few months between ov and af which is making me almost 90% sure this is not our month. I think he will be pretty disappointed when I tell him af arrives, let's hope this makes sense to him now how difficult it has been for me the last 21 months.

HOLD ON! There I am wallowing again!

It will all be all right in the end! If it isn't alright, it is not yet the end!!!

Favourite quote! From a recent film to which I have been living life by over the last 12-18 months! 10 points to who can guess the film!!

Thanks Vap. I managed 45 mins. The Flat of 2013 would have been disappointed but the Flat of 2015 is pretty chuffed. How are you getting on?

Welcome Vincent. Glad you found us! Sounds like you're struggling just like the rest of us. Well done for the jog. Even if it was only short and slow, it's the first step and is better than yesterday/last week/last month! It's SO HARD to keep up motivation when our emotions are all over the place (read: constantly low).

Hi, I think I've found my thread! Been ttc 14 months now. That's 14 months of eating whatever I want, never going to the gym (used to be there 3 or 4 x a week), beer, wine, occasional cigarettes ...

It can be really difficult when everyone seems to be pregnant, including my next door neighbours on both sides!

BUT I went for a little jog this morning with the dog and I've just signed up for a free trial at military fitness! Eek! Can I join you all at trying to stay on the wagon? I just want to feel more positive about something in this long and unknown ttc journey!

GO GO GO!!!!!

Just at the gym. I'm 25 minutes into a cardio session (bike - the worst) and really want quit, go home and stuff my face. TELL ME TO GET OFF MY FAT ARSE AND KEEP GOING

Welcome Rainy of course you can join. How has your weekend been?

Oh Vap I completely understand how you feel. It's just relentless isn't it. I also think Facebook makes this whole thing a million times more painful. Everyone seems to be competing to put up as many photos as possible, so it means we're just inundated 24/7 . Is that when AF is due? Why don't you book a hair appointment for a few days later? If you book it now you're more likely to do it, than if you wait until AF comes and you feel shit. You've done so well with the weight loss! It's amazing how much alcohol contributes to weight gain. Seriously, well done though!

Well I've had a shitty few days. I was at a wedding yesterday where one of the bridesmaids was talking about how the bride and groom were hoping for a honeymoon baby. We also had loads of questions directed at us about when we're planning kids. I just wanted to scream. In other news I'll be having surgery in a few weeks so hopefully things will be clearer and we can get some answers. It does mean that TTC is out of the question for July and August (and possibly longer). Urghhh...

Hi , this is such a great post, can i Join too, Been trying for over a year now, have out first fertility appointment in August, I have too let myself go, wallowing in self pity, eating junk food and drinking lots of wine at the weekend especially once AF has set in,

Going to start doing some exercise, got my fitbit too so going to try and hit the 10 thousand step mark each day,

eat healthier and drink less alchohol !!

Flat - motivation levels?

1 x 30 week pregnant friend in FB with a heavily pregnant profile pic which was put up today - lovely (very )
1 x annoying "accidentally" pregnant friend who keeps tagging her fiancé into loads of having a baby hacks or equally as annoying things
1 x new dad who keeps putting up everything he does with his new baby on FB
1 x sil with a beautiful new born baby
1 x baby bomb this week

= not so great!!!

I'm sure the above is the same for most people ttc. Everyone I know in real life who have been trying have all now become pregnant and the last one who was trying (for less time than me even after 4 miscarriages - that one I'm really really pleased about) will be giving birth in July . The next wave of friends (who are all getting married this summer) will then probably all be in line for the next bfp's before me (sad).

Still need a hair cut etc. when I get my bfn on 3rd July I'll be taking the opportunity to whiten my teeth, at least for a couple of weeks . That should make me feel a little better.

Flat - sorry for all the baby bombs! I can't even count the number I've had, it's just crap . On the gaining weight thing..... I bought myself a Fitbit which encourages you to walk for 10,000 steps per day. It is a great motivator and lots of people have them and you can have little competitions with friends. It helps me drop lbs here and there. My job means I don't get to actually use my legs very often, apart from changing gear, accelerating
and braking - and I'm even too lazy for that and use my adaptive cruise control so don't need to use my feet. Have tried to walk a lot more and have managed to drop well over a stone. To be fair, it isn't really the Fitbit which has done that, i stopped drinking beer (and lots of it) and went onto a prosecco diet! It's amazing how the weight drops off . Hope you have some better luck in future!

Hi Muddle! Sorry it's taken a while to reply. Tbh I'm really struggling with the TTC pressure - it all just feels so hopeless. I also keep being baby bombed every few days, which is just making it unbearable. On top of the TTC stuff I just feel vile. I've gained 20lbs in 2 years as a result of depression and losing all motivation to go to the gym/eat healthily.

How are the rest of you doing? How are motivation levels?

Yay Vap good to see you on here!

Oh and for the folic acid, I leave mine next to my toothbrush, part of morning wake up ritual.

I was on the pill for over ten years too so kinda normal to take a pill everyday!! Just swapped one with another

Hi ladies,

Great idea on the kickstart, good for you and I will join in myself.

Well done for giving up/ cutting down fags, I stopped 1.5 years ago now after 10+ years smoking, I also recommend the Alan Carr book!! It definitely was amazing in my trying to quit journey.

Today I have been for a run/walk trying not to be too hectic due to 1DPO and not wanting to mislodge any potential embryo, but I jogged 5 mins, walked 5 mins trying to keep it easy. I washed my hair and shaved my legs, going to style my hair nice and feel positive!

I love this post! I read it last night big didn't get chance to reply! Hi muddles

I'm with you on the whole sorting yourself out! I don't think I've had my hair cut for well over a year and it desperately needs it!! And when it comes to the rest of me.... I used to have laser hair removal but can't have that when pregnant and so can't book in "just in case" in fact I had 6 sessions booked (and paid for) but after false alarm after false alarm never made it to one and lost them all!! Aargh!!

I also have my teeth whitening serum on the dining room table but can't be used if pregnant and so has sat there all month "just in case"

And the worst part is that when you know it's all over you don't feel like doing anything to make yourself feel nice as you are so busy punishing yourself for failing yet again! Or at least I do!

I have to admit I've never been a smoker so can't understand how difficult giving up must be however on the other hand I've also never been a marathon runner! Well done muddles!

When it comes to folic acid i'm good in the week as I take it when I get in the car in the morning, also fine if I drive at weekends but if not I don't take it! It's a buggar! I am on my 3rd pack though so can't be so rubbish at taking it! Either that or it's just been such a long time

I also wish I could calm down the work hours but just don't know how I can . I love your optimism and energy and need to take a leaf out of your book as this ttc saga is becoming very stale!

Nice to see flat and oyster on here - waves!

Good luck with the giving up the fags muddles! I hope you manage to keep it up x

It's a great book. Had me totally convinced that quitting would be super easy and suddenly it was.

Oysterbabe that's how I gave up too (Alan Carr).

When I quit about 10 years ago I read that Allen Carr book Easy Way to Quit Smoking. It was really good. Read it over the course of a weekend and never smoked again.

If someone could invent something that reminds me to take folic acid too, that would be good. Never bloody remember

Whatamuddle I feel your pain. I too am trying to kick myself up the butt to encourage a more bfp-inducing lifestyle.

I also used to smoke once upon a time and I know how hard it is to quit when you've fallen off the wagon. You can do it though!

Not dtd nearly enough over here either. The way I see it it was the summer solstice this weekend so that's a new start - onwards and upwards!

This sounds like a great idea! Hopefully it will give you something else to focus on that's positive and controllable . I'm sure you'll start to feel better after only a few weeks! Good luck! How's day 2 going? STAY AWAY FROM THOSE CIGGIES !x