smack those rats, sniff those drugs; we dont care how, but we will get our babies and we are BROOKING NO ARGUMENT

Waiting for my follow-up consultation. Already more than an hour late. Bored now.

None in the big Boots either! What is a girl with no pant snot to do?

Enough about me and my cervical mucus crisis though. How is everyone else?

Keep you should be able to start a fresh round ASAP shouldn't you?

I didn't see any in the Boots I went to earlier but it was a smallish one. Will go to the bigger one in town.

Blimey, look at me getting so organised for ovulation.

So it doesn't appear as though you can buy jizz-friendly lube in Boots/Superdrug or anywhere. Oh well, will just have to hope there's something egg white-like up there.

So I've got a peak this morning - BUT NO PANT SNOT. WHERE IS ALL MY FUCKING PANT SNOT?

this digi ovulation thing has got me soooo confused:

Sunday: lots of fertile pant snot; digi says "you're not fertile"

Monday: some fertile pant snot; digi says "you're a bit fertile"; ovulation pains

Tues: not really any fertile pant snot; digi says "you're a bit fertile"; ov pains

Today: non-fertile pant snot (ie thick and not clear); digi says "you're a bit fertile"; no ovulation pains.

So I am certain that I ovulated on Tuesday, but didn't get a peak on the digi at all, which went as far as to say on Sunday that I wasn't remotely fertile.

Who fucking knows. . Even the easy bits end up being so damned difficult.

Mol don't underestimate the power of MN for offering support and understanding through the battle of TTC. I can say with all confidence that I would have struggled enormously over the past 5 years without this lovely lot to offload onto. Brookers rock.

Am using a digi ovulation thing for the first time this month. Had two days of flashing faces but not peak yet (despite today being CD21 ). Poor Mr Imps is in a bad way after his bike crash - am pretty sure he must have fractured his collarbone. He's really grumpy about it too - so the chances of The Sex when I get my smiley face is small to zero. Oh well, c'est la vie.

Hope you're doing okay Keep.

Beedles hope you're okay too. And everyone else for that matter :)

And in reply to Imps earlier question: aside from DH, only my DM and DMIL knew about our problems conceiving dd2. My DM is usually very supportive with everything, but watching us (me) suffer through having secondary infertility was too much for her and she often let me down when I needed her.

I don't blame her for anything, though. I know she didn't mean to let me down, and as she had difficulties conceiving me maybe this bought back painful memories from her own past. I'm still her child and I think it must have been very difficult for her to witness. She's the one who is supposed to fix things for me but couldn't fix that.

DMIL was supportive but didn't really understand so there was a limit to how much we could discuss.

I would have been mortified if my friends had known - I don't know why. I just did not want to talk about it. At all. I'm a very private person IRL so it would be very unnatural for me to talk about that kind of thing. Then when friends became pg (especially with their second dcs), that was too much. I broke down in front of one of my friends who announced her 2nd pg during a play date (her dd1 and my dd1 are the same age). I spilt all the beans because I had to as I'd cried when she told me she was expecting. Not a nice reaction! Fortunately, she's a very nice lady and was extremely sympathetic.

I was in denial, I think. If I talked openly about it, that would have made it real (?) But in hindsight, I should have talked; perhaps to a counsellor from the clinic or something as they are professional and objective. DH, DM and DMIL were all too close to be objective.

Sorry about your BFP, keep. There is no logic, reason or sense of 'fairness' in conceiving. You either do or do not become pg that month. So, you could get pg even though everything feels very negative right now. There is always hope - and that's true for everyone on this thread. Sending big hugs to you all xxx

Ooooooh yes Beedle you must be DR by now??

We have had a tough time of late but we're Brookers and WE WILL REIGN SUPREME.

We're going to start our next round in January - could have started next month but a) I want to have NK cell testing first and b) Jan is the start of the new holiday year at work and I want to take some mornings/days leave for scans, EC and ET. It's too damn hard to fit into a working day. Esp ET - I was late for my appt last time as I got caught on a call. Waaaaay too stressful.

The equivalent of 14DPO doesn't mean it's an absolute cert of a BFN Keep, but I know it's prob easier to assume that it is rather than holding on to hope. Feels so pointless, doesn't?

Oh Keep I'm really sorry it was a bfn. Ivf is such a cruel lottery. It's probably just bad luck as we know you make great embryos, it's just a case of keeping going till you get one that sticks. Do you have any idea when you will be able to have a fresh cycle? thinking of you X

Sorry I've not been around much. The stupid bloody dad sec thing has had me change my password/locked out lots. I also usually use the app as I post on my phone so it's a right pain having to do it this way!

Sorry I've missed so much. I'm completely out of the loop. Lots of love to Imps, Beedle, Loopy and Molotov. We are off on holiday on Wednesday morning so will make an effort to catch up when I get back

Sorry for the bfn keep. What day did you get a bfp last time? Have been reading a lot about hcg and tests and my conclusion is most people don't get their BFP's as early as the makers of frer would like us to believe. 18dpo is the normal point by which most should get their bfp apparently...no way I will be able to hold out testing until then. Didn't do one today. Might crack open a frer tomorrow or the day after. Sticking my head in the sand this time.

I have everything very very tightly crossed indeed that a BFP appears on Weds. X

:(

Oh Keep fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. So sorry. What a big pile of shit this whole thing is. X

Imps, so glad you are still here, this thread is so slow compared to when I first joined, where did everyone go??

Sorry to hear re Mr Imps, stick some deep heat on him and tell him to man up lol!

As for me, still loads of my usual symptoms and might test tomorrow, will be 11 dpo but may be too early still as I'm never fast to make hcg. Have temped this cycle, first one for ages, and i have a triphasic chart since my temps raised for the last 3 days. Had a triphasic one when fell pregnant with ds2. But even if there is a bfp i won't be getting excited unless I can get to 6 weeks and a heartbeat. 8 losses if include chemicals now. Depressing.

However, re your slow cooker, send it back and reinvest your dosh on an instant pot duo 60, you won't regret it!!!

Morning lovelies!

Could I get my brief rant out of the way first? GRRRRRRRRRRRR and AARRRRRRGGGGG. Once again the ovulation gods are mocking us - egg is about to pop but Mr Imps came off his bike yesterday and is badly bruised and in so much pain that Sexy Time is completely out of the question. Last month he was away for work at the key time. This happens SO OFTEN. It feels like EVERY MONTH something gets in our way and we don't even have a shot at getting pregnant. It is BEYOND ANNOYING. Why can't we control things like this a bit more? I for one would like the option of choosing the date for ovulation, a bit like you can choose your delivery date with Parcelforce. It would be the only way of making sure we actually had a chance of getting pregnant. GRRRRRRR.

Anyway, enough ranting. Mol long term TTC takes its toll for sure. Did you have anyone to talk to other than DH with DD2? Am sorry AF caught you this month - but you are at least one month closer to a BFP, whenever that day will come.

Keep I have my fingers sooooooo crossed for you. Tomorrow's OTD isn't it? Any symptoms?

And you Loopy??

Hope you've all had nice weekends. Mine's been lovely despite discovering that my new slow cooker doesn't work - 10 hours of cooking and everything still cold and raw. Grrrr.