smack those rats, sniff those drugs; we dont care how, but we will get our babies and we are BROOKING NO ARGUMENT

There's a vial of powder, a pre-filled syringe of water and 2 needles per pack! Happily they're going to give me a lesson at my next scan so I won't need to figure it out for myself.

Scan is done and am back home - won't be late for lunch, phew. It only took 5 minutes - the nurse I spoke to when I booked it said I should allow 1 - 1.5 hours!!

Have about 24 follies lying in wait - now they just need to grow, which is what they didn't do before.

By way girls, I got some Cetrotide in my box of drugs this time around. Anyone used it before? Looks a bit complicated.

Jaggy - what a lovely looking little bub. Hope you're all keeping well :)

And here's a photo of one of the storks I saw recently which will deliver us all a baby or two:

Here's the finished blanket for friend's baby:

Hello honeybuns!

Mol you a clearly a very logical, ordered person and I can understand how thoughts of logistics gets in the way of your decision. I can't help but things that things will just slot into place and work and that all your concerns won't come to fruition. After all, thing how blimin' straightforward life without kids was - you've clearly adjusted to having two and possibly all the concerns you may have had pre-kids haven't come to pass. Life will find a way, Mol if you let it.

Loopy-lou fingers crossed this is the one! Increasing HCG is great, willing this one on.

Keep we are cycle buddies! AF arrived for me on Tuesday and am going for a baseline scan today. EC will probably be w/c 27 July. The faff of IVF gets me down, I have to say - I have a client lunch with my boss today at 12.30, scan is at 11.15 (the only time they could do) so am likely to be late to lunch. Have already thought of the lie I will tell for being late, but I hate the stress of clashing responsibilities and lying. Grrrr.

Oooh got a couple of photos to post:

I guess I am focusing on the long term rather than the short term. Yes it will be a pain not driving after the birth, and hospital appointments may affect whether I take ds2 swimming or affect the times he is at nursery, and it will be hard work for a bit, but then long term the 3 children would have each other for life and they are unlikely to remember much of the early years. Plus there is part of me that really would love a daughter and I think adding a girl to this house would have a calming effect on the boys! Although if we are destined for a 3rd boy then he would be just as loved. Originally I wanted 4 children, but given how the last 5 pregnancies went, I don't think I could bring myself to try for another one if we are lucky enough to have a third. If this pregnancy continues, I will be 39 1/2 when the baby is born, and as I would breastfeed I wouldn't be likely to ovulate again until 12 months after the birth based on how my body acted the last two times. So I'd be 40 1/2 before we could try for number 4, and given how crap my body has been since having ds2 when I was nearly 36 I'm not sure there would be any point even trying by that point! My body is falling apart already. Get SPD badly so it will be even more of a wreck if we have number 3, and emotionally I can't see us doing it again a fourth time. But I am not willing to give up on number 3 yet, and I knew I would always regret it if we didnt at least try. Would you regret not having a third?

Thanks for your message loopy and I really do hope that this pregnancy goes to term for you.

I've been wobbling again but haven't had the chance to talk to (or jump on) dh as he's been working late the past couple of days. He's back tonight and I'm on CD13, so possibility fertile.

I get excited about being pg/having another baby/having another child but then the realities come to mind and it's these that put me off. My dd1 didn't pass her Y1 phonics assessment and this, along with a couple of other issues with her handwriting, means that she will need extra, external support in the new academic year. She may have dyslexia or dysgraphia, and I think I really ought to focus my energy on helping her, rather than ttc anorher child and all that brings with it, let alone conceiving/sickness/antenatal appointments which all have to be fitted into the needs of 2 children who really need me already.

This is my constant quandary.

Molotov I think you just have to go for it. Your dh wants another so you have a supportive partner to share the load. I had similar feelings. Our/ my life would be incredibly easy if we stopped at two. Ds1 starts school in September and ds2 will be increasing to 3 half day sessions a week at nursery. Dh is out of the house from 5.30 or 6.45 am and the earliest he is ever home is 8.15pm ish. Industry I worked in is full time hours and i refuse to work those hours and barely see the boys as they barely see their Dad in the week as it is! So I could be taking it easy come Sept. And when his free hours start in January then we could afford to increase his hours at nursery even more if we wanted to. I had a cat 1 EMCS with ds1 and ELCS with ds2 so we will have the headache of arranging the school and nursery drop offs/collections for the 6 weeks I won't be able to drive. Ds 1 is a very needy child and is possibly somewhere on the autistic spectrum, have recently had our nursery refer us to a social worker because although he is clearly very intelligent they don't believe his obsessive and controlling and emotional behaviour is normal. Ds 2 has always been so easy. Some might say I shouldn't add to our family and disrupt it. But I can't shake the desire for a third, our family doesn't feel complete, like there is a person missing from the table. We have had 5 MC's if include the last one which was a chemical, and so it may never happen but I'm not ready to give up and am desperately crossing everything that this one is a sticky bean.

I realised last night that I am totally over-doing the enthusiasm over dd2 starting nursery 5 monings a week from September. I bought the girls uniforms the other day (very organised, I know ) and when people ask me, I say stuff like

Oh, I'm so excited about her going!
Yes, both girls in their matching uniforms!
She's definitely ready to start now
Me? I'll be fiiiiiiiine

And whilst this is all true, I'm rather too emphatic about it all. I felt tearful realising my baby is going to school in September. And I want to give ttc another a go, but am scared of spoiling what we have now/of disrupting the balance/pg complications/birth complications ... yet think of one more child on a daily basis.

Loopy that is rubbish! No wonder you're

POAS (frer) with FMU today and there is a line rather than a shadow, not a strong dark line, but a faint line that even my DH could see today. So hcg is increasing which I guess is all I can hope for at the moment. Will test daily to see how the line alters this week. Have just cried whilst on the phone to GP receptionist and then having to repeat everything to the pharmacist trying to get the clexane and progesterone prescription. Hospital wrote to them in June, so was hoping I could just head over and get it this morning, whilst boys are at nursery, so that no chance anyone finds out for now. She said would Wednesday be ok. I cried again. Stupid procedures, she needs a GP to sign it and they don't look at them until lunchtime blah blah. She suggested 3 pm. I cried again. She said she will see if can do it sooner and call me. System is shit. I could have been there by 10.30. They have them in stock. They have a letter on the computer from the hospital to say I need the medication. They know I am allowed them and why and could give them to me. But their procedures don't allow that. Rarrrgghhhhh

Hey all, back from hols and up to my eyes in unpacking and clothes washing, so really shouldn't be on here but needed a few minutes escape!

I am not entirely sure as I didn't take temperatures this cycle but I think I ovulated on the Friday, which makes me 9dpo today. Why I do this to myself I don't know but I poas (frer) this afternoon and there is a shadow of a line on the stick, a real squinted though, even when shining a torch at it. Am hoping that this one has implanted properly and isn't a duff egg and turns into a full blown line over the next few days. Rightly or wrongly I'm not going to take any progesterone yet. The last 2 mc's were the earliest losses I've had and I'd taken progesterone from roughly 10-11dpo on the first I think and from 7 dpo on the second one. I'm worried that the progesterone wasn't helping and might have had the contraceptive effect others have mentioned, but just no way of knowing as we only ever know the one outcome. It could be this one is a duff egg and nothing will help. It could be its a good egg and I lose it by not taking progesterone. It could be its a good egg and I lose it by taking progesterone. It could be that all I need is a good egg and the clexane, and the progesterone is irrelevant but i'm trying not to mental over it too much!!!!

Hello.

Sorry for neglecting you all... I'll try and catch up!

I was supposed to post a pic of DD like a month ago... Oops.

She seems to be doing fine and getting bigger. She wasn't even 7 lb when she was born, so still seems little to me!

Hope you are all having a good week.

Hooray!

And we are all fine for now -phew. Head and abdo circumference all dead on track, legs a bit behind but I'm 5'2" so he/she was never going to be a giant...

Back in 4 weeks for more of the same but so far so good. Thank you for listening x

Yes, thinking of you, hinks x

Good luck for the scan today Hinks. We're all there with you.

Oh, and I didn't answer hink's earlier question: I definitely feel calmer at the prospect of being pg/having a baby again. If I discovered I was pg, I'd be thrilled ... worried but happy, I think.

Whether I'm brave enough to go with it this month, I can't say. I'd like to say 'yes'; I want to just see what happens but my worry now is that I've overthought things, to my/our detriment.

Someone I know who has 2 dcs asked if I was 'done': I said 'i don't know, never say never' and she said that she is. Her youngest child is the same age as mine and she said they're looking forward to more exotic holidays, being able to afford the children anything they want and she said she just doesn't want to go backwards.

I can see her logic, I have similar thoughts yet I see burgeoning pg bumps (especially ones with a 3rd dc in them) and am jealous. I'm like is she pregnant? And then keep taking crafty glances at the bump.

Oh Hinks I totally understand what you mean, DS1 has disabilities, and I was terrified that DS2, and DD would also have issues, there are no words that can help until you have a diagnostic test and they can tell you either way. That being said, I shall hold your hand until you know.

Thank you whoever said I seem positive, I'm trying very hard to maintain a lovely peaceful place for the kids while staying on the moral highground STBX is acting more like a 13 year old boy though, he actually threw a strop because I don't follow him on FB We're still fb friends I just CBA with his shit popping up on my timeline though. Kids eh