The waiting game!!!

Hi everyone! So much to catch up on lol. Fx for all of u!

bourbon ur commute sounds like a nightmare. Thanks for the advice though, think we're just going to see what happens since getting pregnant seems so difficult (how do people get pregnant by accident?!).

london sorry about AF i think a holiday is exactly what u need. Hopefully as you'll be all nice and relaxed it'll help with ttc

soda never thought of it as "unofficially engaged" before...i think i'll class me and DP as this too. We know we will get married, spoke about it and the whole babies or wedding first conversation, but we're not actually engaged!

loving all this wedding planning talk! Gives me plenty ideas for when we eventually get married haha

Soda you enjoy birthday drinks. If you are pregnant you got next 8 months plus of no alcohol. Fx for you.

Good point bourbon it would be nice to have something to distract me - especially now I'm coming up to crunch time! Yeah the job thing is often about who you're up against isn't it? You've just got to do your best and hope you're best on the day.

I've been thinking about POAS all day so I just came home and did it. Obviously BFN. Crazy woman. In my defence I've got a birthday wine tasting thing tomorrow for a friend so wanted to make sure it was ok to have a drink. Until I see a positive I'm going to continue to have a drink but not go mad just in case. No symptoms to speak of but then last month I was convinced I had all the symptoms including inplantation bleeding about 9dpo! But I obviously didn't so who knows? Argh!

Thanks soda DH is working tomorrow am so I am going to do a tonne of prep then :) I know I am good at my job, so want to make sure I get the best examples for questions they will ask sorted in my head. I feel positive it's just all down to who up against really... That's what's lost me the past two jobs I've interviewed for, people with some slightly stronger experience in an element of the role I've gone for. This one I fit all the criteria so hopefully it will come down to the person... The places I'd interviewed at earlier said that I could have fit in well to their teams and things so just gotta see.... Nervous! Still days to go though!! At least it helps me be distracted from focusing so much on ttc

bourbon - of course - big interview for you on Tuesday! Hope you manage to get in some prep this weekend xx

elle no I haven't started using OPKs yet, I was wanting to wait until a few months because otherwise I might get a bit caught up on it all, so for now I am DTD as much as can and then I will try them if unsuccessful. It would be handy to pinpoint the time, but I usually get twinges when it does happen (well I am presuming that as they seem to happen consistently) but we shall see. and thanks for asking, the fingers that were badly hurt aren't too bad today, a little sore but not too bad. it definitely seems to be easier having not told DH any details on where we are in the TTC cycle this month, so hopefully it will make a difference and ease the pressure, fingers crossed....

soda I know what you mean, sometimes when i work from home I am like that, but mostly i feel like i need to do more than normal to prove i've worked... although at the moment I am losing the will where I am and just keep thinking about tuesday... so perhaps if I am lucky I won't need to worry anymore after that... I am hopeful... and a little desperate...

Soda i could hug you. 41 and your friend has a new baby. I always wanted 4 but be lucky if have 1....(sprinkles baby fairy dust everywhere)

London I feel your worry fx for you, try and stay positive, you have probably said before but how long have you been TTC? it does happen a lot for older ladies I know plenty of them!

soda very sensible advice, thank you. I think just not discussing the TTC subject with him will what he wants, if I'm not talking about it then he doesn't have to think about, will have a chat with him tonight over a small glass of wine and Chinese. Last month I was a poas addict really going to try and not do that this month and wait to test.

Also re age - I was supposed to go and see a friends new baby on Tuesday night before I got struck down by the dreaded cystitis and had to cancel! She's 41.

Right I promise I'll shut up now!

gakay - sorry meant to say it must be really hard for you around now knowing your EDD re mc. Huge positive thoughts to you and here's hoping for a BFP for you this month. My close friend had a mc not long ago and was very upset about it. She bought herself a necklace with a little stone which is apparently the size of the baby when she lost it. I thought that was lovely. Hope you don't mind me sharing with you xx

Hi everyone,

london - really glad you're feeling a bit better today. It's really tough but here's to the new cycle being a success. I think a huge amount of it is down to luck and it's so hard not being able to control things. Lovely that DH has booked a hol for you.

bourbon - working from home is nice but if I don't have any deadlines to work to I find myself easily distracted - hence my ridiculous preg testing the other day! Happy DTD weekend

gakay - happy to dish out wedding advice. I've been to so many (9 last year and have 6 this year!) and have been bridesmaid 3 times so far so I have some experience pre-loved is great for second-hand wedding stuff. It's difficult for me to say re wedding planning for me as DP hasn't actually asked me yet! I feel like we're unofficially engaged as we talk about what kind of wedding we'd like all the time etc but I want him to ask properly! It's funny - he'd also like a big wedding but I wouldn't. Isn't it funny men wanting a big wedding - but ask them to plan any of it!..... Ideally I'd just like a very quiet do with about 10 of us and then a big party with all of our friends afterwards - perhaps a couple of months after we officially get married. Not sure. Ideally would like to wear wedding dress for v small ceremony and not have a bump showing! So am hoping he hurries up! so frustrating not being able to plan things, it goes against everything I like to do!

elle - sorry you guys are having trouble. DP did sit me down quite early and tell me that he liked to talk about other things other than babies (I had no idea that's apparently all I talked about!) and that he didn't want to take the fun out of our sex life so I've tried really hard to respect that and just act crazy with you lot!! I think perhaps you guys just need to have a chat about what he's happy with you sharing with him / friends etc and try to stick with that? But equally he needs to understand where you're coming from too - babies don't make themselves!

In other news my nipples don't hurt any more which I'm feeling annoyed about! Im not feeling very hopeful for this month. Ovia says I can test on weds so really going to try and stick to that!

Happy weekends everyone xx

Ellen...im almost 40....

Morning all, hope everyone is ok this morning. Well by way of update DTD last night (with a little bit of persuasion needed ) but later that night we had a lovely argument (again) about it, with him making a stupid comment about wishing his swimmers were going backwards! He was annoyed because I had been talking about TTC with my best friend apparently it puts him under pressure, but when I can't talk to him about how I am feeling what does he expect me to do??

bourbon looks like we are at the exact same point in our cycle, are you using OPK's? I bought some cheap strip tests of ebay and so far they are negative. This is the first month I have used them I just wanted to try and pin point ovulation better this month. Definitely going to follow your example from here on in, not telling him anything, in fact I am hoping if I do not mention it all he might forget about it! Oh how are your hands better I hope?

soda thanks, he definitely does not like hearing all the details he cringes when I start talking about CM

London hope you are feeling better today, it took me a few days to get over the arrival of AF, I was very upset and there were many tears, just like most of the ladies on here. I am in a similar position, I have been with DH for 11 years and have wanted to try for so long but wanted to wait until we were financial secure (or should I say at least a little bit more secure!) i am 37 and fast approaching 38 so running out of time. try and keep positive x

gakay any advice anytime, I truly loved planning my wedding, did most things myself. I didn't want a hotel reception I wanted something more personal. So ended up finding a country house that was split into holiday apartments (5 of them sleeping 25 people) which had acres of ground, rented all the apartments and then put a marque up in the grounds. So I had to organise everything from caterers to the bar to the music etc loved every minute and the wedding was exactly what we wanted!

Better this morning. Can i blame a glass of wine for my upset and the disappointment in my body. Not drunk any wine for a month. Ok after af back to ttc. Dh has told me we booking a holiday end of june as babies are more likely to come when relaxed.

All these weddings... Wow there be honeymoon babies...

london hope you are feeling better today, it really is hard TTC, even though we've only started recently it is hard. keeping fx for next time

gakay definitely! Ask away! happy to help and advise :) you can always get a sample dress from a shop, best thing is to go and try loads on and then you get an idea of what you are looking for :) there are also lots of places to get them online/second hand if you wanted to as well, they can be so expensive otherwise. I was so glad I brought the sample one of my dress, saved us so much!

I am wfh today, which is amazing! always so much easier and more productive! feel much more awake today :) which is good as need to keep energy up for all the DTD this weekend! haha

london I hope you are feeling better today. TTC is so tough. I've cried so many times over the last several months. I hope you get your BFP soon x

elle Isnt it difficult to know how to approach these things with DP? We had quite a few rows because I was upset that he didnt seem up for DTD during my fertile period. I'm sure you will find your own way for you two to TTC w/o too much pressure. Because we can be quite lazy in the bedroom we have to rely on knowing the fertile period and him performing on demand.

bourbon & soda Thank you for your advice. I've always wanted to get married b4 baby and DP new about it too. But I got so tired of waiting for him to do sth that I decided to do it the other way round. But now after 8 months of trying unsuccessfully, I got DP to agree to get married soon. All I want is to get married and dont mind a tiny wedding but DP wants a nice wedding which would require some planning. I prob dont mind getting a dress from the high street but just worried I wont find the right size (I'm quite tiny and have almost like a pubescent girl figure - might actually be easier to find a dress if I was pg or bf'ing).
I really hope I get pg this month - it's the EDD of my first mc in 3 weeks :(

Since you girls love wedding planning so much, I might keep asking you for advice every now and then if you dont mind.

soda what are your plans? are you going to plan for a wedding during pg?

Ok still crying. Got to go through this again..

Have stopped crying now (dh had to meet me at work as was too upset) and about to pour the wine. I always wanted a march baby so next month. I really did think i might have come very close. All that spotting. My horrible body. Fx we all get march babies xxx

blanket - sorry about AF. If I remember correct you're still quite new off pill? I think it does take cycles a while to settle so your cycles may get shorter.

london - so sorry about AF. Please don't beat yourself up about it. Have a glass of wine and look forward to next month. I realise this is easier said than done. We'll be there holding your hand during the next cycle.

elle - sorry about DH. I think it is tough for the men in our lives and it can put them under pressure. My DP has been good but I can definitely see that if it takes us a while it could put a strain on us. He said at the weekend (when I was out of my fertile window) - "I'm looking forward to non-functional sex!" So I think I might do what bourbon has done and not tell him next month (if it didn't work this time!!) he definitely doesn't like knowing everything about my cycle or me symptom spotting - that's what you ladies are for. Lucky girls

bourbon - your commute sounds horrendous! Fx for new job! And hope your hand isn't too bad!

gakay - how exciting for wedding planning! I think bourbon has said it all really, it just depends on priorities. I'd really like to get married but I'm not bothered about a big wedding - DP knows I'd like to be married before we have a baby so the clock is ticking once I get pregnant!! - but our priority is having a baby. If you're keen on a big wedding march - may then perhaps you should wait a few months to try. But then like we've always said there's never a right time! I guess you've got to figure out - would you be bothered having a big wedding planned and being heavily pregnant or would you be happy anyway? In terms of dress I think it takes 6-8 months for boutique made to measure dress but obviously you can get a high street dress at any time, it all depends what's important to you.

I wish we could just know when it's going to happen!!

Ovia is teasing me. I keep on putting in symptoms (sore nipples, back ache) and it says it could be a sign I conceived! But also could be a sign of AF coming or of ovulation happened. Why are the symptoms all the same??!

elle oh no! :( why do men get like that? I have not been telling DH where we are in my cycle re DTD am just making sure we do it every other day at the mo and if want to more freuqently over weekend/early next week to see what happens. last month i told him when my most fertile day was (according to ovia - and i am also day 2!) and so he felt a lot of pressure to perform, so I decided this month I won't...

Just burnt my hand doing teas! Stupid hot water thing at work :( and its so hot in here it is stinging loads!

Ellen. My dh has been very good. He just told me to tell him when he needed to dtd. Hasnt worked though. Feel im not a real woman as im not pregnant. This last two weeks have been awful and its taken 10 years to get here...

blanket sorry AF arrived, it is horrid but see it as a positive at least you know and can get set for trying this month (it took me a good few days to see that positive though!)

Bourbon god I remember those types of commutes, used to do a 150 mile commute (each way) every day. I lasted 2 years and it nearly killed me. Was so happy to eventually find a place much closer to home.

gakay with you on the wedding planning I loved planning our wedding and was very upset when it was all done with, i missed the planning but my good friend is hopefully getting married next year so I will helping out with that.

So ladies according to Ovia (and my diary) I am in my fertile period (2nd day now), although negative OPK yesterday and this morning, was planning on dtd every other day. So had a chat with DH last night about where I am in my cycle and what that means ie time for DTD...he absolutely kicked off about my 'demands' for sex only when I want it and only to make a baby and that all I had done is put him off the idea, he promptly feel asleep on the couch and did not come to bed till the early hours without DTD. Is this normal behavior for MEN?? How are we going to have a baby if we do not DTD!!!!!!!!!!

london :( noooo i am sorry to hear that :( boooooo i was hoping for a BFP for you

Think im going to need that wine...