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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Bumsnet: we're raising our bums after TTC and waiting for our Angry Pubes.

996 replies

purdiepie · 15/04/2015 18:26

Do you like feeling left out of a group? Do you enjoy being marginalised and isolated and picked-on? How about a good bullying? If so..you're in t'wrong place, cock, coz this 'ere is the TTC thread where you feel loved, embraced, encouraged, wanted, lusted after, admired, respected, thought-of with fondness, missed when you're away. We will even put up with your lazy, selfish bastard of a husband who would rather watch Chelsea romp through the Premiership than put a baby in your tum-tum.

Absolutely any old slag welcome, unless you already have a baby in your tum-tum and we're about as familiar with you as a condom. You can get lost Smile

t'STATS, innit

OP posts:
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Sparkly123 · 19/04/2015 00:14

Boris goodness that's some good negotiation right there !! Great work mrs!!! And times around OV! Perfection! Wow you have seen a lot then. I can very much understand your perception of the western man changing! How life changing to be so close to those circumstances.

Pikz I heard itchy boobs was a symptom!!! Wink

Froggy do you usually spot at 6dpo? Could be a good sign lovely.keep the faith!!!

MaMa argh! Big news! Early! Are they both ok?? Hope so!

Purds because silky smooth is best. You need to get down with the kids. GrinGrinGrin

Sparkly123 · 18/04/2015 23:59

Night Purdita Flowers

I'm off to read back as I seem to have missed a couple pages again!!

Pixa · 18/04/2015 23:51

there* not their - I promise I am not illiterate! Blush

Night Purdie

Original poster
purdiepie · 18/04/2015 23:49

Thank you Sparkly, that means a lot to us x

Night Pixa! Night Sparkly!

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Pixa · 18/04/2015 23:47

I don't know why I decided to go smooth Purdie, just never been a bush fan.

DH has gone to sleep, without doing the gentlemanly thing and chucking one up me so I will be demanding sperm tomorrow. I am a bit worried about his sperm, so I just continuously want as much of it as possible.

Yeah,you're on one their Purdie with the fellatio wars.

Sparkly123 · 18/04/2015 23:33

Purdie I'm going to get to church Tomor. Your mama will be in my prayers for sure Flowers

Sparkly123 · 18/04/2015 23:32

45 years young Purds ! Good plan. But you may get a surprise BFP before....Grin

Original poster
purdiepie · 18/04/2015 23:22

...I will be 45 when I give berf Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
purdiepie · 18/04/2015 23:21

Baker, what did you dress up as?

Can I ask why everyone on here has a paedophile for a husband bald fanny?

Boris, I know we've talked about your job over on fb but I have to say your career as a whole is fascinating to me and I'm very envious of work you have done. Can I ask what you did at university? What did you study? How did you get into this kind of work? P.s..don't go to Hainan Island when in China -the fishmongers are rapists. True dat.

Is this a record for filling a Bumsnet thread? I think the fastest yet was one of our March buses which lasted only four days.

Babs, was it the steroids that weakened your mum's immune system?

I've decided that, if this job turns out to be a permanent contract, and banks really are lending money at the moment (and would accept only three months pay slips as proof of earnings) I will be flying to Prague for IVF circa February 2016. If the bank refuse me a loan I will then have to get all Rambo on my parents' ass. Either way, I'm going to go get me a babby in me tum-tum Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
purdiepie · 18/04/2015 23:02

I had an omelette for my lunch

Mary, selling necklaces in a club at 2am is far easier on the tots than going down the mines, no? I take your point though. When I was in Morocco there were three- and four-year-old tots thrusting their postulated boils at us as we walked down the street, begging for money. Some were so hideous I thought they must have been wearing stage make-up applied by Jade

I once dated a bloke from York who told me I was the best sex he had ever had but not the best cock-sucker. I was furious and demanded to know where he had received more superior head. 'A ladyboy in Bangkok.' Hmm

Pixa, regarding contributing to the suffering of Cambodian kiddies: just don't buy any more Gary Glitter albums.

Yokyil (and all of you), thanks so much for being sympathetic about my mum. She'll be okay. I've told her she must never die because if she does I will kill her.

Mary, leave that stupid job and come and work in my department. I'll be the boss soon and you can be my plant sprayer and I'll sack any pregnant woman who comes within a three-storey radius. I know that's illegal but I would just spread rumours that they've got AIDS. Or I would sew a rancid kipper into the lining of their fake Michael Kors handbag and go around shouting: 'Who the fucking hell stink of fish? Who hasn't washed their gash in forever? Get aaaaaaaaht!' On a serious note, I think it's unhelpful to think of some women as 'deserving' of their pregnancies. Pain comes to all of us in so many different guises but there is no reward for suffering. And I'm glad about that, because who would dare try to measure it?

You'll get your baby Mary, and it won't be because you have become a better person; it will just be your time Thanks

OP posts:
Hairstylisttoboris · 18/04/2015 22:36

frog hoping its implantation for your sake.

mamapo oh you are in London? Glad you get to see your friends baby. I lived in Bangkok, Kathmandu and Kabul. I worked across Bangladesh Pakistan and India from Kathmandu. Loved it.

MaMaPo · 18/04/2015 22:20

Boris, your work sounds interesting. And very glad you don't have to be away for three months! Whereabouts in China will you be,? My husband and I have vague plans to live in Shanghai at some point. Where in Asia have you lived? I love spending time in Asia. We had four months traveling around by train a few years ago. So fun.

Frog boo to spotting. I hope it's nothing.

Just woke up to news that a good friend of mine in London had her baby, about 4 weeks early. She's a bit shell shocked as it happened very fast but I'm just pleased that I'll be able to see the baby because I'll only be in flipping London next Saturday! So excited.

Baker47 · 18/04/2015 22:14

Yes, fx for implantation frog!

Pleased to report that dressing up did the trick! DH now asking why it can't be like that every time Hmm

frogbubbles · 18/04/2015 22:13

I was getting heavy bleeding and spotting mainly after DTD, but I don't know. I'm not really hopeful this month Pikz & Spinning x

spinningirl10 · 18/04/2015 22:07

Frog, do you usually have spotting at this stage? It could be implantation!

spinningirl10 · 18/04/2015 22:05

Pikz, I want giant chocolate buttons!
They are in bed but not asleep, I can hear them chatting, ds likes his sleep and is always in bed at 8pm so I expect they'll drop off soon I hope

Boris, your jobs sound both rewarding and heart wrenching.

Pikz · 18/04/2015 22:01

Implantation frog?

Pikz · 18/04/2015 22:00

Wow hair you've had some amazing jobs

Purdie sorry to hear about your mum but yay for shows

Glittery today must have been really tough but you can do it and you will

Yay for more positive tests sparkly hoping 6 days time brings some magic

Pixa your dh sounds lovely

June's yay for dates! Sounds awesome

Sorry if ad got anyone

Spinning home all the boys are asleep

frogbubbles · 18/04/2015 21:59

Just about to catchup on all your gossip of the day.

Glittery aw man I'm so sorry you didn't get your scan. But it sounds like you have a good plan in place.

Night the games room sounds amazing!!!

Purdie sorry to hear about tour mum hopes she is feeling better soon

I am ignoring all tww advice and I am in a warm hottish bath with a bottle of cider feeling sorry for myself. (Tmi alert) I'm 6DPO and I've had this brown sludge cm I my pants, FML I'm not taking this as a good sign Sad

Pixa · 18/04/2015 21:55

Boris, that sounds really interesting, I hope you have great trip. Smile

Hairstylisttoboris · 18/04/2015 21:50

pixa I currently work for a university developing teaching and research opportunities.

spinning no chance to sight see but I lived in Asia for years so know places well.
In an old job I worked with the victims of child sex trafficking in brothels in Delhi and Mumbai - it was horrific. We also worked with pristitutes in sex tourist locations, gave me a warped view of western men for a while.

Pikz · 18/04/2015 21:43

So behind... Off to catch up with some giant buttons in bed!

Whilst I'm reading as anyone else ever had itchiness as a symptom? Can't stop scratching my arms and legs and my boobs are itchy too!

Pixa · 18/04/2015 21:30

Spinning They had made massive strides over the years in Cambodia with regards to child prostitution and sexual exploitation but there is still a way to go. There is so much emphasis on responsible tourism too.

spinningirl10 · 18/04/2015 21:27

Boris, I remember you talking about your trip. So pleased you managed to scale it down. Sounds like it will be tiring. Will you get chance to see the sights?

Pixa · 18/04/2015 21:21

Spinning DH has never been into hypnotherapy, but I might persuade him. Great idea, thank you. Smile

Boris If you don't mind me asking, what do you do? Where in Malaysia are you heading? Smile

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