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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The Angry Pubes of Bumsnet

986 replies

juneybean · 11/04/2015 14:04

No wankers allowed.

BFPs for everyone!

###STATS###

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purdiepie · 14/04/2015 00:21

Do I really have to orgasm every time I inseminate? I can't be arsed - and I'm sick of watching myself on Pornhub

juneybean · 14/04/2015 00:21

Haha I will die if that happens and curse every expensive frozen morsel of sperm that ever died in my fanny

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Sparkly123 · 14/04/2015 00:21

Purds are you having a moment of delirium?! Some kind of fit? Have you taken a line in the past thirty seconds? What's with this lingo?!

Sparkly123 · 14/04/2015 00:20

You are! Not your! I hate that. Sozzals..

Sparkly123 · 14/04/2015 00:20

Junes or your surprised with a BFP!!!

juneybean · 14/04/2015 00:19

She's my home girl what can I say?!

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Sparkly123 · 14/04/2015 00:19

Purdie ha ha ha loving your view on the Scots! I've been to one Wedding here with a tattoo bride actually GrinSmileGrin

purdiepie · 14/04/2015 00:18

Why'd they take it off you, Diz?

Juney, ya wurrent like Chezzers flaps roond ya chops, man!

juneybean · 14/04/2015 00:18

sparkles timing was way off but that was my fault I had a minor panic. I won't be disappointed when AF rolls in this month.

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Sparkly123 · 14/04/2015 00:17

Dizzers you are never a lost cause! There is ALWAYS a way!!!! Star

purdiepie · 14/04/2015 00:16

*haggis!

purdiepie · 14/04/2015 00:16

Eskimo, did you survive the wedding without getting a Glasgow kiss? Did the bride have tattooed sleeves? Was it haggid and Special Brew at the reception? Could I be any more bigoted about Glaswegians? Och aye de noo! Donald where's me trrrewserrrs? There's a moose loose aboot thas hoos! etc, etc..

DizzyMerry · 14/04/2015 00:15

Purdie I was only offered one NHS cycle for that very reason but thankfully I didn't need it. I was given clomid last time but was gutted when they took it off me! Clearly I am a lost cause Confused

juneybean · 14/04/2015 00:14

Bahaha I love Cheryl I so would!

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purdiepie · 14/04/2015 00:12

Juney, you ovulated yesterday, you daft dick. I wish you'd got your 'window cleaner' back to 'rectify' the 'bits' he'd 'missed' on Sunday morning.

Cheryl Cole sucks Geordie cock. Badly.

purdiepie · 14/04/2015 00:08

Dizzy, you are lovely Smile The thing about AMH is that, depending on who you speak to, the test is either a nonsense or it is a revelation. I hear women in their forties who get a result of 0.01 (appalling) and say 'Oh the test proves nothing. It only makes assumptions about ovarian reserve; it can't tell you what quality our eggs are'. Then you will get another woman in her forties (me) with an AMH of 5.5 who will keep TTC feverishly thinking my score is brilliant for my age and it's the best test since sliced bread (5.5 is not brilliant by-the-way, but it's fairly good for a 43 year-old).

My view (and that of my consultant), is that it is a very good indicator of both egg quality and ovarian reserve. I like the test, but I wouldn't if my score was shit. Sorry, I'm rambling. What I do know is that Gennet clinic in Czech Republic (the European leader of IVF treatment) will not touch you with a barge pole if your AMH is below a certain level. Clearly, it seems to me, they won't risk their success rate statistics being sullied by women insisting on using their own crap eggs instead of the clinic's donors' Hmm

frogbubbles · 14/04/2015 00:08

Oopsie cross post!! Glad you are being well looked after on here by this amazing bunch!! Xx

Sparkly123 · 14/04/2015 00:07

Nosy? No such thing here Frogpants ! Imagine if you actually did have a frog in your pants. Weird.

I've lost the plot.Hmm

Sparkly123 · 14/04/2015 00:06

Juney you rascal! I miss you on this thread!!! What's this about Chezza? Are the bad boys in place? Hope Mr Supersperm was good to ya.

frogbubbles · 14/04/2015 00:05

Also feel free to tell me to shut the fudge up, if am being nosy lovely sparkly one xx

juneybean · 14/04/2015 00:05

I need to catch up properly when I get on pc

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Sparkly123 · 14/04/2015 00:04

Aww Frog what's the state of play with OPKs? I'm ok. Just spent most of my day in bed on here to keep me sane ha!

juneybean · 14/04/2015 00:04

I've nay idea when I ovulated I gave up pissing on the digital and got positive IC on Saturday night and Sunday morning will see what temp does tomorrow...

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Sparkly123 · 14/04/2015 00:03

Oh! I forgot to say.. Yesterday during a visit from my 36 year old pal and her two children she announced she was five weeks preggers and due a Xmas baby!.. This was during all my stuff yesterday! Terrible timing but still happy for her. She's a one ovary gal and had been trying a while.

juneybean · 14/04/2015 00:01

purds don't diss wor Cheryl! !

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