Halfway through my TWW and looking for company. Anyone in the same boat?

Diamond - I'm so sorry for you. It's a fresh blow every month and it's almost unbearable at times. How long have you been ttc?

Sometimes you just need to cry and let it out of your system. I hope you'll want to continue ttc. Everybody deserves the chance.

Thanks haquoi - your kind words are a help. I'm sat at work and keep crying. I knew it was going to hit me hard this month. I'll think about GP but I really don't think they'll help. I can't talk to anyone about this but you lot. DH has just said I need to relax more and it'll happen. None of my friends have any problems with conceiving so I'm lost and really upset.
Sorry for the me post.
I'm really hoping for you - any more symptoms? Xx

diamond, I also reckon you should see you GP, they might be able to help xx

Oh diamond, I'm sorry! You absolutely deserve your bfp, don't in anyway think you don't! I did a bit of searching online last night and a lot of people said reflexology kicked in after three or so months. Obviously its up to you as to whether you give yourself a rest, but please don't give up on yourself. Does spotting always mean AF for you?

finding twinges seem like a good thing. How long are your cycles usually? (as in,are you in yor tww)? Are you checking internally for your ewcm? When I started checking internally I found a whole heap of cm that I would never have known about! I have my fingers crossed for you.

Morning ladies. I'm out . Pre af spotting started today so it's game over. I feel utterly broken. I can't keep torturing myself like this every month. I'm sick of allowing myself to get excited then come crashing down. I'm not sure if I even want to ttc anymore as it is affecting my whole life.
Good luck to everyone- I really hope you all get your bfps - you all deserve them so much, I obviously don't. haquoi - cycle buddy - good luck for Saturday xx

Haquoi I hope you get your bfp this time (and all the other ladies too).

Diamond, I sometimes play it down too with dh because I don't want him to have the same disappointment. It won't lessen it for me if he's suffering as well.

Update is that it's cd 16 today and I take my last oestrogen supplement of this cycle (2 more cycles of clomid to go). I'm feeling twinges where I imagine my ovaries to be and they feel generally a bit sore. I'm taking that as a positive sign. I haven't detected any ewcm this time however.

haquoi - I get what you mean! Glad you don't routinely wet yourself! It's bound to be on your mind with the date etc but I can't tell you how much I am hoping your symptoms mean a bfp this week for you. Xx
I'm twitchy too, even I know I'm out really I can't help but hope.
Had date night with dh tonight and a lovely meal out - feel so bloated - wish it was a symptom- not the fact I ate too much!
Dh has asked when we will know - I always play it down and stay vague about when I will test as I feel I put enough pressure on myself without dh wanting to know too. He seems happy with it like that. Although he has said he hopes I don't get too down if it's bfn - how can I not be too down?

brown I agree with diamond, just take some time for yourself and go with whatever you feel you need to do. And I think the key is to enjoy yourself and not put your life on hold, which of course I'm not managing to do :s

ickle I have my fingers crossed that you get some more answers from the doctors and that AF comes for you again soon. Take care of yourself (and don't be a stranger) xx

finding, how is your dtd coming along? When are you due to poas?

diamond, I'm starting to get twitchy. Today is the 1 year anniversary of finding out I was pg with DS. I'd been having cramps for a week or so and when I poas got such a faint bfn that I went out to the shop to buy different tests, and even then DH spent an hour online trying to work out if it was positive (he wouldn't believe me). I then spent the next week testing until there was a line he agreed with. So of course, this morning I felt slightly odd and with a weird taste, but I just can't imagine its down to anything other than the time of year, the anniversary and flashbacks really. I've just got to cross my legs and not pee on anything other than a toilet for the next few days, (reading that back it sounds like I routinely wet myself... you get what I mean!) There's also that thing of whether I should hope I'm pg: do I really want to have the same due date as with my DS?...

remember, fingers crossed for your tests and everything! Any symptoms?

Morning all, not posted for a couple of days as work gets in the way at times. We're bobbing along in our tww. Bloods booked in for Thursday for repeat progesterone levels and have to speak to gp same day for dp and what tests gp wants him to have before referring us to the gynae at the hospital. My ff app is saying my ideal date to poas is next friday (22nd) which would be 3 days over for AF but I don't know if I'll be able to hold out that long!!

*sonographer

After a walk, kebab, a sob and all your lovely comments I'm ready to give it another shot of positivity.

I've had blood tests and an internal scan but the so I graphed was worried about the state of my ovaries given my age and didn't sound optimistic - but that's just another sceptic to prove wrong!!

You ladies have been my absolutely rock tonight and I wish every single one of you get your BFP and have healthy, happy and beautiful LO's you all deserve it you really do

I obviously don't have as much to update as you all so I'm going to keep my head down for a couple of days on the posting side of things but I will be watching this thread for when you all get your BFPs xxx

So sorry ickle it's devastating when that happens. We've been ttc for over seven years and I have waves of positivity and at other times I almost forget about it. Now I'm feeling pressure due to my age.

My sister told me that she is also ttc and I would love for both of us to have children around the same time.

Ickle, this sucks. Hope is literally the worst-thinking maybe, just maybe and then getting bfn. I wish there was a way to get us all our BFPs. Sadly, dtd is the only way and it's the last thing we probs want to do when AF turns up and the world falls apart. A virtual hug for you all and wish it could be more.

I think you are right diamond thanks.

I guess I'm just almost surprised as when my AF was late I was trying to convince myself I wasn't expecting a bfp, when I must have been as when AF arrived it hit me harder than I thought it would if that makes sense.

Whilst my AF is here I'm going to get back to the yard and back to horse riding, haven't done it in ages and now there's no reason for me not too. Will see how I feel after AF has gone, right now the idea of starting all over again doesn't appeal but that will pass. I hope!

haquoi - I know exactly what you mean - I feel like I'm out too but am desperately secretly hoping. No, no symptoms here, I'm trying not to symptom spot this time as it has always got me excited only to be gutted when they obviously didn't mean anything. I know I'm going to take af arriving really hard this month, I think with the reflexology and trying to be positive - I'm not sure how I will pick myself back up from a failure again - thankfully I have you lovely ladies
Thanks brown. I can understand you must feel so fed up with ttc, it's completely draining. My advice would be to just take some time out for yourself and don't put any pressure on yourself - I think we're all guilty of doing that when ttc and want it so badly and sometimes we need to not be too harsh on ourselves

I'm sorry ickle been there, done that and 4 bfn in my outside bin in the last week to prove it. It's awful when it's not happening and you want it badly. Time is on your side but I know it's hard when others are getting pregnant unexpectedly. It's easier said than done of course to not let it bother you.

To be honest diamond I'm kind of thinking of taking a break from ttc, keeping my fx for you.

Oh ickle, that SUCKS!!! I'm so sorry, our bodies really have it in for us. What did they say about the PCOS and when will you know more? Also, have you googled late periods? Usually I wouldn't advocate googling, but there are loads of people who have had delayed periods (some even by three, four weeks) and then have gone back to normal. I'm not trying to say that this isn't horrible, but please try to have a glimmer of hope, as well as allowing yourself to wallow (get a boxset/book series and work your way through. I've worked out how to wallow over the last few months). I really feel for you ickle and hope AF comes soon. Also, don't let anyone tell you that you're young and not to worry. I'm 26 and everyone uses it on me, it's so useless. I might be young, but time flies. Don't let anyone dismiss the way you feel because of that.

Congrats on the house brown! And thank you :) Charting your temperature is the only way of knowing that you've actually ovulated and opks are the best at predicting when. I've found www.fertilityfriend.com/ really useful as if you sign up they send you daily info on your body and how it works.

finding, what are the pineapples and raspberries for? Really please you're feeling positive :)

diamond, no more morning sickness feelings really. There's the faintest feeling of a weird taste in my mouth and feeling hungrier than I'd expect and slight pinching, but compared to last month it's absolutely nothing. I'm not really putting much store by them, tbh I'm probably imagining whatever there might be! I'm in this weird position of feeling like I'm out this month, and being ok with that, but secretly hoping... How about you, any symptoms?

You know, statistically at least one of us will become pg this month... We had two last cycle (not including me), ero and ifyou, so fingers crossed for someone else's BFP!

finding - enjoy your raspberries and pineapple - bless your DH. I'm really hoping for you this month - keep feeling positive
brown - exciting about your house! That is rubbish about af but hopefully your new house will keep your mind occupied and before you know it it will be dtd time
Oh ickle - I'm so sorry, I was really really keeping fingers crossed for you. No wonder you're in bits. The good news is though you are 20 which means you've got time on your side. How long have you been ttc?

The biggest BFN

Not even a standy on your tiptoes one eye squint in direct sunlight line

I'm in bits, there is zilch possibility of me moving on and looking forward to next cycle when it might never come, I'm 20 and all my friends are having accidents and abortions left right and centre and me and dp who are actually desperately trying for a baby are having such a shit time of it

Hi everyone,

Sorry for my absence, DP and I are buying our first house and getting the keys this week so lots of paperwork, he thinks I have selective memory as I don't remember doing this for the place we are in now.

AF is well and truly let her appearance known, been so sore all day with cramps and feeling quite rubbish. Sorry to hear you also got your AF birchy too.

Sorry to hear you have been feeling so down haquoi I hope your ok, I think you are a very strong woman, I don't know how I would cope if I had lost a child.

diamond How was reflexology?

Any sign of AF sleepy? Sorry to hear sleeping you have been trying so long, it really is rubbish.

I don't think men do understand ickle sometimes I've noticed when they try to be helpful it just makes it worse, the last time I poas DP and I had a frank discussion because I said I wanted to wait till I got up in the morning and he said "you can test now, show me where it says you have to do it first thing!" (And I know you don't have too but I wanted too!)

I told him when I needed his help poas I would ask, funnily enough he didn't mention it again.

I'm going to have to start using ov sticks as I really don't want another cycle like last months, and while it won't prevent a late ovulation I will have an idea where I'm at? Need to look into it as I have no idea about any of this!

Right that's it I'm off to poas, thanks ladies it was the kick up the bum I needed! I did poas a week ago and it was bfn - surely it should have showed by then?

Reflexology sounds like a good idea, some chill time must surely help?

Hi Ickle, I must admit that I would have tested by now given your symptoms.

Various people have advised eating pineapple and raspberries during the tww. Dh has just been shopping and stocked up on both. I feel so positive this month that I'm dreading the disappointment later.

Hi sleepy - fingers crossed af doesn't turn up then!
haquoi - that sounds just like what you needed this morning, you're lucky to live near a lake and beach - I would love it! Love your DH's reaction to the she-oak and very pleased he got it for you, I really hope it will help. No sign of af yet, every trip to the bathroom is nerve wracking- I'm a nervous wreck! Been to reflexologist tonight so feel lovely and relaxed - she didn't say anything about ovulation but the session was good and what I needed. How about you? Any more sickness feelings?
Hi ickle - what a nightmare for you - men just don't understand do they. When did you last POAS? Those symptoms sound very strong. I'm due to test Friday/Saturday but will try and hold out til Saturday.

When is everyone due to test?

Anyone got a BFP? Anyone out this month?

Hello lovely ladies,

I'm still very much around but don't have anything positive to add cd50something and still no AF and possible PCOS diagnosis so feeling really down in the dumps. In a way I kind of feel like my body is pregnant because it's been so long without AF? I've been EXHAUSTED so much so I had to nap in my lunch break today and such a moody grumpy bitch and the most painful nipples I've ever had which makes me want to POAS but I know it's pointless and I can't face more disappointment, and OH doesn't understand why I'm grumpy and apparently I "can't be hormonal because you aren't pregnant" - yeah thanks for that darling!