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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

The March Bus is rolling through Spunkland stopping for BFPs only!

993 replies

juneybean · 02/03/2015 17:56

#### STATS LIST ####

Welcome to the March bus, every one welcome!

Remember to update us and for ease please post your update in a separate post with lots of #### to signify an update.

I'm weaning you guys off the gin, it's not good for the eggies! Instead we have some of Sparkly's green gunk! Wink

Happy shagging/syringing! Grin

OP posts:
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23
Avasmum8 · 02/03/2015 22:27

Evening ladies :) just spent the last ten mins catching up on the goss! Very bored tonight whilst DH is watching one of his programmes...?? Trying to comb the cat is an impossible task she keeps running away+/ bites me! Bloody long haired feline....

ThePug · 02/03/2015 22:26

Hmm have you all read the 'pregnancy glamour' thread linked in the discussions of the day box? And we are all desperate for this to happen to us (again, in some cases)?!!

PurdeyBirdie · 02/03/2015 22:25

Spinning, my personal opinion of that myth theory is that it is absolute codswallop. How is sucking a man's penis going to prevent conception (unless you swallow, of course)?

Original poster
juneybean · 02/03/2015 22:22

Definitely agree with you there wotsit that or I'm allergic to sperm!

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wotsits1 · 02/03/2015 22:21

I think I have deciphered that once a woman begins TTC they suddenly become magical (a la Harry Potter). They gain the ability to manipulate their bodies into replicating preggo symptoms. Want nausea? You got it! Cramping? No problem! Sore bbs? Why not have them for 3 days?

If you aren't TTC and just want these ailments for a sick day off work... NO CHANCE!!!!

I'm expecting my Hogwarts owl any day now...

Nomio230 · 02/03/2015 22:21

I was wondering about the saliva thing too. I quite often go down there to get things going, but am a bit worried now.

Original poster
juneybean · 02/03/2015 22:21

purple the only ones I've found are dead as a dodo or are full of super donors who have 100 donor kids and I seriously worry about incest!

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Purplecuddlykoala14 · 02/03/2015 22:18

Evening all,
Too much to catch up with,
thepug my DH does shifts so When he's on earlies the alarm goes off at 4.30 - I normally just doze until about 6.30 before taking temp.
If there are any impostors they surly been scared off by the CM link.
juney is there not a website for like minded people, rather than scary randoms. And don't meet any of them on your own.
Hope everyone else is ok.
Cd18 so not much going on.

spinningirl10 · 02/03/2015 22:17

Sparkly, you poor thing, you don't sound much better, hope you perk up soon. Yes it's lovely to have the house back to ourselves......I can walk around naked should I chooseSmile

Purdey, do you know if it's true that saliva kills sperm? I can always get dp in the mood that way but have stopped at ov time now.

Original poster
juneybean · 02/03/2015 22:15

I wondered why it wasn't working nomio Wink

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wotsits1 · 02/03/2015 22:14

Wretched vision of silver surfers with their hands down their pants envisioning stretchy cm. Need mind bleach to be invented immediately (although if you can leave the memory of that dream I had 2 years ago about Leo DiCaprio...that would be great!)

PurdeyBirdie · 02/03/2015 22:13

When I was a lapdancer I met so many pervs they all became one big blurred blob of normals. It felt quite proper to be asked by old men if I 'took it up the arse' for a tenner. What a cheek! I'd want at least twelve quid for that.

Nomio230 · 02/03/2015 22:12

juney, if you are also an old man, that could explain the lack of pregnancy!

PurdeyBirdie · 02/03/2015 22:11

Thanks for wondering if I had drowned in spunk, Spinning and Sparkly. Can you believe my appointment at the hospital was 7.15 PM?! I almost, almost cancelled it when I realised I would be missing Emmerdale and Corrie. I know cancer of the arse is extremely serious but so is my addiction to soaps. Know wot I mean?

Original poster
juneybean · 02/03/2015 22:10

I'm a perv :( but its no secret.

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PurdeyBirdie · 02/03/2015 22:08

What's wrong with pervy old imposters? I'd be upset if there wasn't a couple of 'em lurking on mumsnet whilst playing pocket billiards

PurdeyBirdie · 02/03/2015 22:02

Welcome, Cremedevadge. How come you got a poncey blue box to write your comment in? Hmm? Hmmmmmm?? Is your mum Justine Wotsit, the head of MN?

chasingtherainbow · 02/03/2015 22:02

It's Saturday. . I'm so tired.

Original poster
juneybean · 02/03/2015 22:01

at Purds you have a way with words.

chasing just go with Friday, join the friday poas party!

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Riceicle1 · 02/03/2015 22:01

Not a dirty old pervy imposter, just me ricey, marking my place!

chasingtherainbow · 02/03/2015 22:00

Juney, I won't last past 12dpo ... but I can't work out if that's Friday or Saturday? !

PurdeyBirdie · 02/03/2015 22:00

I would say sorry for TMI but I think it's rather pointless, don't you? You would need mind bleach and that hasn't been invented yet, or else we would all have merrily washed away the image of Boris' bird stretching her fertile cervical mucus between her tobacco-stained fingers. Dirty slag.

Original poster
juneybean · 02/03/2015 21:58

I'm too conscientious to pull a sicky ROFL I love my job and would never want to let them down even for a babby!

Oh sorry to hear of your troubles Purds enjoy your lie down!

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Mumof1sofar · 02/03/2015 21:57

PS if you can't get time off pull a sickie Wink

PurdeyBirdie · 02/03/2015 21:57

Juniper, I am sorry for your loss. It is heartbreaking. I hope you get pregnant again soon. May I ask your age?

Juney, yes there are issues. I haven't enjoyed a nice proper shit since the tot was born. That's eleven months of unsatisfactory, bunged-up, bleeding-from-the-arse-occasionally, floating pellets of dissatisfaction. I want it sorted. I'm fed up of perpetually feeling as though I am touching cloth; like a turtle's head is about to pop out. And then when I go to the toilet I am straining like one of those World's Strongest Man competitors pulling a 38-tonne lorry by his gnashers. Cameras up rectums are never fun, but the bonus is I get to lie down for half an hour. Fecking love a lie down, me.