We can't be upbeat all the time. It's human nature. Come and have a moan. No judgment guaranteed and no apologies needed.

Hi Madgie

I don't think it matters how long you'be been trying for, I just think it's an awful shock to find out it doesn't happen straight away like my sex ed in a catholic secondary school led me to believe!

And Pippa the heart wants what the heart wants so don't feel bad, you must be in a hormone storm atm that is tough too!

Ax

Friday it was 2 weeks after my D&C. The bleeding has thankfully mostly stopped.

Everywhere we went today we saw big preggy bellies. OH is sweet but has no clue. We have 2 kids, and he's happy with two. Cannot see what I'm fussing about.

And then I read the threads on here, and feel greedy that I have 2 fabulous kids and want another one.

Hi girls!

This thread is brilliant its so good to hear people feeling the same way as me. I've been ttc for about 5 months, although the first couple of months was just a matter of removing contraception as i thought falling pregnant would be so easy. I've been pregnant before, a while back but did not make it past 8 weeks, although i did't know i was pregnant til i was 6-7 weeks as i was on the pill at the time, so i do feel guilty for not knowing as i didn't change my life style (young, loved going out for drinks with friends etc) and i feel i brought harm to the baby i was carrying though i didn't even know it was there!
i was so sure this month would be my month i had so many vivid dreams i was pregnant, i usually have a recurring dream where i have a baby, but towards the end of the dream the baby turns into a doll and its no longer real, but this never happened in these dreams so obviously desperate for a glimmer of hope i thought it meant something. I took a test yesterday which was BFN and AF turned up just a few hours later. Everywhere I go i just see newborns or pregnant women (possibly because i find myself lurking in baby sections of stores but i can't help it). I just feel so desperate at the minute alls i've done is cry! I know in the grand scheme of things i haven't been ttc that long especially in comparison to others but it still makes me worry that something is wrong. I feel this month is a kick up the backside though i need to think positively as the world is still spinning!
maybe this cycle will the one, eh?

Love this thread! I'm having a ridiculously down day today. We've been TTC for 10 months now, and it feels like it's never gonna happen. :( I'm always driving myself mad with symptom spotting, and testing too early. I'm currently 10dpo, has a faint line this morning, but I'm so convinced it's an evap! I've had enough, I really have. It's just so heartbreaking having AF arrive month, after month. My partner tells me not to worry, and that it'll happen soon, but I very much doubt it at this rate. It's got that bad, that I can't even be happy when I hear another pregnancy announcement.. As awful as it sounds I just get mad, angry and extremely jealous. I think "why has it happened for them, but not for me!?" Urgh! Rant over.

Delighted you now have a plan Sakura, it's nice to just put the worries aside for a while! I had my day 3 bloods done the other day and will be getting the day 21 ones soon. Fingers crossed it will all be ok.

Forty your post made me so sad, you poor thing. I hope you are doing ok and getting lots of support in real life.

I'm feeling a lot better after my sh!tty week last week I must say. Hope ye are all doing ok too ladies.

A

Ugh my AF hasn't arrived but a HPT came up negative. Worried my cycle's fucked after pregnancy and labour. It used to be regular as clockwork. Arrgghhhh.

Hi ladies, just thought I'd update you all. I went to the Drs this morning and asked to have some tests done, I didn't have much luck with the Dr I saw back in October but this Dr was lovely and arranged for me to have bloods done on cd21 and cd2, she told me that sometimes they have to do cd21 bloods twice so if this is the case not to worry and if tests come back fine next step will be sperm testing. I'm so glad that I went, now I've got a plan of action in place!

Thank you I hope you all get the happiness you are after. Xx

Really sorry forty (((hugs )))

So sorry to hear that forty, there are no words and I just hope things start to look up for you and all of us soon.
I agree with you all, we can't always be happy and sometimes I just want to shout why the hell not what the heck is happening?! But still we grin and go on. I guess it's what we have to do....

I am currently sitting here crying my eyes out I don't think I have ever felt pain like I have in the last few months. I really have got to breaking point. After 7 fucking years of trying to get pregnant I finally got a BFP to then go on and have a missed miscarriage and have to have an ercp at the end of November. All I see is pregnant people, or perfect little families with their babies & if one more person asks when I am going to have a baby I honestly think i will punch them.

It's shit Miffy. Really shit. First thing I saw after AF turning up (who has now left again, not sure what's going on there, being well and truly taunted I think!) was that Fearne Cotton was pregnant again. It's like there's an announcement every day at the moment.

I'm fed up too. Everyone is pregnant. Except all those people who were pregnant around the time I was, first time round. They've all had their 2nds by now.
My cycle's gone up the spout so I don't ovulate every month and can't work out when or if I have done the other months. DP doesn't want to have sex with me and now that he's agreed, finally, to TTC, he thinks we just have to do it once. It has been over a year and a half now.

Need somewhere to moan! Been avoiding the conception board (in an attempt to not get too obsessed) but AF just started and I need to let some frustration out. TTC for only 4 months but had my heart set on 2015 baby and now just one more cycle left to achieve that. The age gap between dc1 and a possible dc2 is growing more and more past what I wanted it to be and I just feel crap. DTD every bloody day last cycle! And now to go through the whole process again. It gets tiring - and I know this isn't as long as some have been trying. I just thought it would be quick like last time. AND EVERYONE IN THE WORLD IS PREGNANT!

Thanks Amara much appreciated I'll have a read. heyarnold I'm going on my own Monday morning and my partner and I have had a chat about the fact that he may need to be checked out as well. He's got a child who is 17, but I don't suppose that this guarantees that he's got good swimmers? Does anyone know??? I'll keep you all posted.

Sakura are you going to the Dr's alone or are you taking DH? I'm thinking of going if nothing happens this month but a bit clueless about what is expected! You'll have to let us know how you get on - good luck!

How long have you been TTC Amara?

Also this link has nice quick summaries of the guidance if you need to read something beforehand.

www.patient.co.uk/doctor/infertility-female

The "professional" articles are much more detailed.

Best of luck Sakura!

A

Hi Sakura

She doesn't know we are trying and I am really happy for her. I suppose if you haven't been in our situation you wouldn't necessarily "get it" than randomly telling people that it is so easy might hurt someone's feelings accidentally.

Also I'm a doctor too so I really think you should go to the doctor that suits you best. I used to work with a GP who used to say finding the right GP for you was like dating and every patient has different preferences. I had patients who hated chit chats or any personal discussions (they ran away from me!) whereas I know I as a person want that from my GP. I always tell people to keep changing until they find someone who they can communicate with! And this is such an emotional time you don't need communication problems as well!

A x

Flipping hell Amara that must have been so difficult listening to your friend who I guess don't know that you are currently TTC? I'm mean if she does know then she's totally out of order and not much of a friend. I'm seeing my doctor on Monday morning so I need to figure out exactly what to say as I went in November but didn't see my usual Dr and the one I saw was so rude and dismissive of what I said that I burst into tears as soon as I left the surgery.heyarnold I like what your DH tells you, it's very positive and positive affirmations are so important on this journey! Good night ladies

I am so glad I came across this thread. Reading some of your posts is like reading exactly what is going on in my head! AF started this morning, deep down I knew it was coming but it really doesn't get any easier. Approaching the 12 month point now and I really have no one to talk to about this, apart from DH who is amazing but I don't want to keep banging on about it to him all the time as he is disappointed too. Plus I think men just can't understand what it feels like - they don't understand how every little cramp, twinge etc sparks off a whole range of emotions and thoughts and trying to explain that is really hard.

I have wonderful friends but none have been through this. The only ones who have babies either got pregnant first time or didn't even try. My other friends haven't been through the ttc process and I think unless you have been through month after month of peeing on opk's and thinking 'this might be the month' only to find that its the same as every other month, you really can't understand what it feels like.

Sending you all lots of luck - it will happen for us, we just have to stay positive. My DH keeps telling me that it only hasnt happened yet because we are waiting for the right one, all the others just aren't meant to be. I hope he is right

So tonight a friend phoned to say she is pregnant. Apparently she had no idea it "would be so easy" and how it happened so straight away she and her boyfriend didn't know whether to be happy or not.

I've just cried my eyes out this evening, it's just poured out.

I must pull myself together!

Am thinking about some basic tests Sakura now.

And Tammi I know only two well the temptation to test, I now have a rule not to test until a day late cos a negative early test is so useless.

Need a bit of handholding dear ladies. ??

Finally!!! Somewhere I can have a moan!!
The witch just arrived again for me today.
I had a MC in December (happy Xmas me...not!) and it was so heartbreaking. Then 3 weeks after that happened our best friends announce they are expecting. Seeing the scan pics made me angry though. Why cant that be mine?! Constantly asking why me?! And now to top it all off, two more of our closest friends also announce they are expecting. So that's 3 couples AND they are all due in weeks of each other....FFS!!!!
I thought I was in for a BFP this cycle, had all the symptoms like I did when I got my first BFP. I even just bought some HPTs....then literally 2hrs after ordering them....WHAM! the bitch of a witch arrives to piss me off more.
Everytime I see or hear about babies or pregnancy it makes me angry, upset, confused.....oh I dunno.....I'm trying to keep hopeful for next cycle. Blahhhhhhh :(

Hi girls, I'm in the same boat AF arrived dead on time today, I saw early signs of it coming when I went to the loo before bed last night. It made me so upset I couldn't help but have a little cry... We've been trying for a year, I'll be 37 this year and my partner 43. I used to be on the busses but it just got a bit too much, I got way too obsessed...Everyone around me are having babies, at work two colleagues are pregnant. I've decided to see my doctor and ask for tests. I always assumed that having regular periods would equal ovulation but I've read that this is actually not the case (I never got on with the sticks). I don't know about you girls but I find myself putting things on hold because of this TTC malarkey like turning down nights away with my girlfriends if it falls during the DTD window etc. Amara you said it so well!!!
Has anyone had tests done? Good luck everyone

Fucking hell that body temp stuff is complicated. People have charts and everything! ... I'm just kind of aiming to keep the sperm count high.

It took us over a year to conceive our son, I'm hoping it doesn't take that long this time around.

There's just babies all over my Facebook feed, finding it extremely difficult. It's shit, everyone asks if you're ok but a lot of people aren't interested in the truth. That no, I'm not, I want a baby. Why does everyone else have them and I dont?!