TTC and still breastfeeding? You're not alone! Thread# 2

Welcome Duchess, it sounds like you have a lot going in your favour so hopefully for your sake you won't be here long!

I guess 3 years is quite a sensible gap in many ways but as hardly anyone seems to bf, especially not natural term, much smaller gaps seem to be the norm these days.

I'm finding it quite difficult when friends/cousins who ff announce (usually on fb) subsequent pregnancies in record time. In fact 'quite difficult' is rather an understatement!

Hi all, great to find a breastfeeding/TTC thread. I'm 30, TTC No.2 and still breastfeeding my 15 month old in the morning and evening (and sometimes once during the day if she asks for it).

My periods came back around 4 months ago and were very heavy, with long cycles and as we had decided to wait another year before TTC I went on the mini pill but now we've done a complete u-turn and changed our minds and want to start trying straight away. Ironically, on the day we decided this I actually got my period, which I wasn't really expecting as I thought most women didn't get one on the mini pill. So I have stopped taking the pill but am a bit unsure about whether or not this would be considered a proper period and if I can count cycle days from the first day of bleeding. Anyone have any idea?

Last time round I didn't use OPK's or chart temps or anything (though I probably should have as my cycles were long and all over the place!) but we DTD every other day from CD8 to CD28 to make sure we cast the net wide enough! We got lucky the second month of trying, so am keeping my fingers crossed for the same good fortune this time around.

Definitely treat yourself, Pear! You deserve to splash out! And if you're savvy with the styles you can still wear them for the first trimester - I have invested in lots of tunic and swing tops and M&S pull on jeggings (I love my skinny jeans) they are soo comfy, can be dressed up or down BUT have an elasticated waistband! I hated the button on my regular jeans jabbing me during the first trimester last time... x

Has anyone else got these 'ideal' scenarios re child spacing correlating with their ages in their heads? Or it just me? I know that, since my early twenties, I've felt that I'd ideally have my first dc at 33 (done) my second at 35 and my third (if we got broody again) at 37 - as if I'd have a choice! I could technically still make this 'plan' a reality if I got pg by May / June this year, but as positive as I'm trying to be about it I have to be realistic too, and I'm starting to feel that I would be incredibly lucky to even have a second, let alone a third, by 37...

Think I'm just a control freak and hate that I have absolutely no control where ttc is concerned...

Trying not to be despondent but ttc is the only task I can think of where, no matter how much effort or work you put in, there's no guarantee of the reward at the end...x

Well,Ispy, a 1-2.5 age gap would be my ideal, but we've missed that window unless, by some miracle, we have conceived this cycle (doubtful) I think natural child spacing means children are ideally spaced about 3 years apart (?) so I've gone from hoping for a 2.5 max age gap to thinking of the benefits of a 3 year gap to feeling, well, if we conceive again at all at any time i'll be lucky... Sucks....

How I wish now we'd just tried straight away!

Ava, exactly! I was hoping for a 2 year gap but not a 1 year gap and was anxious to avoid the apparently super fertile time right after birth so I even had a coil put in! Promptly had it removed after about 3 months when I realised this ttc business was not going to be as easy as I once thought.

Ispy, I remember being in hospital after I had dd and the midwife explained that dh and I will need to be very careful with protection as I will be very fertile now - I felt quite excited and thought that sounded great as my dc's would have the 2 year age gap I wanted! Ha! How naive was I?! (Ava goes off to have an 'if you don't laugh, you'll cry' moment)...

Well caught Aurora! Really hope it's done the trick!

It's funny you mention counselling actually, I was just thinking about this. I'm so conflicted about everything. I really wanted to feed ds2 for as long as he wanted as I felt so pressured to stop with ds1 and dd and I'm much for confident about 'extended' bf this time. But I also really wanted to have had another (and last) baby by now. My eldest just turned 11 and I'm worried if it takes too long we'll have to stop trying ??

I didn't ever really realise what a contraceptive effect bf had as the midwives all warn you not to rely on it. I figured the reason AF didn't return after my others was because I had the implant put in but I'm realising now it was more likely the bf.

Update. After ff told me I ovulated on cd10 for this first post-partum cycle (for new people I had had no AF for 10 months after DC was born and cut down for purposes of ttc from feeding on demand to two feeds a day in the space of four days. It brought on ovulation in cycle 0 after three weeks, but I only had a luteal phase of four days before AF arrived. Very disappointing as we shagged our hearts out trying to get a bean in there before first AF showed!)
I had had no positive opk around cd10 though but temps and ewcm seemed to correlate a bit. Oh and this last week bf DC on demand again as been really quite ill.
Then yesterday on 13dpo/cd23 I had a positive opk!!!!!!! So DTD last night in emergency measures. Guess we will see what happens now.
I'm also taking b6 (50mg and 100mg eod respectively) to try and ensure a longer lp this time around but didn't check with my gp about this first.

phew

Good morning all!

Everything sounds so complicated for everyone. :(
I don't think many people realise how confusing and weird and gut-wrenching this ttc while breastfeeding thing is. Not to mention the guilt aspect. I used to have a great and expensive shrink a few years back after the nhs royally screwed me over and i felt forced to go private, which was doubly ironic as she actually work in the nhs too! and I would willingly survive on bread and tomatoes for the next six months to have some sessions with her during this time.

Eggs, I had planned on taking a 2 month hiatus over March - April to try to avoid being kept in hospital for nearly a week, like I was with DD, and missing Christmas with her... I know that beggars can't (shouldn't) be choosers though... But I did hope the decision would've been taken out of my hands and that I'd be pg again by now though... que sera ... x

So sorry to hear you're struggling, Pear. Glad you still have the precious 7am feed. I hope you're breastfeeding your DS's little brother or sister around the clock before long x

Yes they only threatened to call SS as she refused to be induced Christmas Eve due to childcare being difficult but her dc1 stayed with a friend and was collected about midnight! Just mean that it was all very stressful and she was cursing herself for being due over Christmas! Completely understand about wasting eggs though! My ds was born early on the same day as my friend's baby who died (4 years earlier) I felt so bad but couldn't have anticipated it as all my others were way overdue. You just can't plan these things.
With regards to weaning don't be too hard on yourself Pear it can definitely do strange things to your hormones (obviously, that's the whole point!) I seem to recall Kellymom has some info about how it can cause quite depressive symptoms so look after yourself.

Eggs if it helps, my friend had her baby on Christmas Eve and had no one to look after her dc1 (being Christmas Eve everyone was away or with family etc) and the hospital was going to call SS to place him in care for the night, on Christmas Eve! Needless to say she discharged herself immediately after birth and went home with both

Ah Rosie, that does sound promising! I posted several days ago as I had similar symptoms and was convinced AF was on the way, no such luck though!
My ds probably only feeds maybe 4 times during the day but at 16mo still lots at night as we co sleep. I think that's going to be the thing to change. I rather like the thought of getting more sleep but I'm so worried night weaning will inadvertently lead to the end of bf as it did with ds1 and dd1. I think we'll work on it this month though. It will be my something productive to work on!

rosie you can't be far off then if you're getting all those PMT signs, sounds really promising! I had similar for 2-3 months before AF came back this time

How are you feeling about not bf DS now pear I was a bit sad when DD stopped, but being pregnant seemed to give me the real bf heebie jeebies, so was also relieved! Hope it is not long now for you though! I know last time I was really split over the thought I might have to stop bf DD1 to conceive a sibling, but this time I've got no qualms about stoppint to help conceive!

Ispy AF returned for me about 6 or 7 weeks after we had cut down from 8 to 4-5 feeds a day... may have happened anyway though as hadn't fed at night for a while and combined feeding time for the day wasn't very long. Does your DC just feed for milk, or also comfort suck at the end? You could try just cutting down total 'feeding' time first, I think lots of places say over about 60mins total for the day is the magic number (although has been a lot less for me). I've been contemplating a CBFM too but might wait a couple of months yet.

Is anyone here planning on not ttcing Mar/april to avoid a xmas/new year baby? I don't really want to have a baby then (always think it's a bit unfair!) but can't bring myself to not ttc slightly obsessive

Sometimes my face breaks out

also started temping

Wow I was out of it, sorry I made that hard to read

Ispy I'm right there with you! I want AF back, it would mean I'm one step closer and could have an idea of what is going on! I'm crampy, but no period, sometime my face breaks, sometimes I'm emotional, on occasion I have EWCM.
I started doing ic about 3 weeks ago no sign of O. I also Start tempting regularly after being sick this week but have yet to put it on a graph, just wish there was more I could do/know
My DS sleeps through the night, but still nurses 4-6 times a day. And I pump for the 2 days I'm at work

Okay thank you! I just feel like I want to be doing something, although I'm aware this could become very obsessive ?? on the upside I guess one day I'll be so in tune with my cycles we can use the rhythm method as contraception!