TTC 10 months plus, supporting each other and staying positive. Another BFP one of course :-)

Aw mama I'm scared...can't face the dissipointment!!! At least no af there is still hope...? X

Welcome Nordic.

Mrschatty....poas!

Hay nordic nice to have you join us :) so sorry about your struggle so far your a strong lady...maybe this will be your month!!!

AF now 2 days late tge light brown spotting completely stopped- too scared to poas xx

Hi! Can I join ? Need to read back sorry . I've been around the buses most of last year and had 4-5 cp then stopped trying because it all got too much . Only now this cycle we are back to it and on the horrid 2ww. We have one ds10 y I managed to carry with no problems but then years of secondary infertility with lots of miscarriages , illness and in the end a dd 3 y through gestational surrogacy . Really wanted to try for one more baby and this time myself but no luck so far . Heading towards Ivf I used to have dd but wanted to try naturally in the meantime since a reason for my mc was never found and I did carry my son so I theory it could work out .
Anyway am now on 5 dpo I used a digital ov test and had all the signs too so pretty sure of this . The unusual things this cycle are that after being quite regular for almost 30 y with my periods I had a very long cycle this time and now yesterday had a bit of blood but only when wiping and still a bit more today . This has only happened to me between periods once in my life last summer around 7 dpo before getting a few faint positives and then it all went wrong . Too early really for imp bleeding or period and have never had ovulation bleeding or bled after sex . My chronic illness causes nausea at times so the queasiness I have doesn't really count , breast are sore but have had that after ovulation before . Aargh I'm going mental here and have actually used a few ov tests since don't have preg tests in the house until tomorrow . They do have lines that I'm imagining look darker today than yesterday but not as dark as the control one and the digital test comes back with a empty circle ...talk about obsessing normally I'm ok the first week of 2ww and only go crazy on the second

Hay everyone hope you all had good weekend I spent it with my best friend and her gorgeous little boy just reinforced how much I want to be a mummy spending all weekend with them! Af due today but other than some light brown spotting nothing yet- but not holding my breath incase just late I'm in a negative mindset that it's just not going to happen! Letter in from hospital asking me to call on cd1 to book in for bloods so just waiting on it arriving xx

Vic you got me there! Chopsface indeed lol

Lucie been wondering how your getting on with treatment?? Hope everything is going ok, thinking of you.

Spinning today is the first day of my new "Positivity plan" I need to do something to get back to enjoying and appreciating my life so I'm starting today with a new outlook and attitude. I'm so glad to hear that life is good for you, just that one thing missing like myself, everything else is pretty amazing....we should be thankful really :) and we will get that one thing soon....i know it xx

Aww Mama it's a tough time but good to hear you thinking positively.
I'm good thanks, plodding on with the ttc journey and keeping busy, life is good and a sticky bfp would be the icing on the cake

Thank you Spinning! It has certainly been a difficult experience, but I know I will get through it and when the time is right we will get our sticky bfp! I am definately coming out the other side of this now and determined that it will not consume my life.

How are you Spinning?

Mama, I was so very sorry to hear your sad news it's just heartbreaking after all this time. to have that initial excitement and to then have it snatched away, it's just not fair. I hope so much that in time you can move on from this and soon have your sticky bfp. Sending a big hug your way

Chops yes I have a 14yo boy from a previous relationship. He is the most beautiful and wonderful person in the world (I may be slightly bias).

Not sure about property empire, I'd love to sell! It's great at the minute as I have a great tenant but have had a bad tenant before and that was more hassle than enough. If this person moves out, I'm selling up! If I am without a tenant or have a bad one who doesn't pay up, then I'm stuck with 2 mortgages and it's a killer!!!!

Well get you 2 with your propery empires Dh and I bought our first and only property together a year after we married. I'd never have been able to buy without being in a couple. I do live in bristol which is ridiculous price wise, though no where near as bad as London of course!

I had no idea you had a child already mama girl or boy?

Lil I got my first mortgage at 19 and let out my other property too! Haha! To think we were sensible enough at that age?! Well I guess I had to be as I also had a baby at 19! :/

Yes the roses will be pretty, I think they flower in summer! Will be checking them every day of course!

I'm going to meet some friends today, trying to get out of the house as the last 2 days have not been good for me. I was planning to return to work next week but doesn't look like that will be happening, may need a couple more weeks. Desperate to get back to myself soon....this is so not like me :(

Vic technically second house but my 4th property. got my first mortgage at 18!! still have a flat which I let out.

mama orange roses sounds really nice. when will it flower?

Hi vic, hope your keeping well? Thank you, I hope you are right, I don't feel I'm surviving, just struggling through each day for now but it is still early days I know it must get easier. The tree will have orange roses, will be lovely when they flower. I'm glad we have something to remember.

Thanks mrschatty and Lil x

I'm all over the place, blaming hormones, did a test to see if hcg levels have gone as it's been a week since my d&c....its still very positive :( not checking again for over a week, but I guess that explains why I'm such a mess.....bloody hormones!

dont get me started on people who say just relax. Or my favourite - have you had sex in your fertile period....

mama take it as a good sign that you are having bad days here and there - it means you are trying to heal. its totally unfair, and unfortunately the only way through it is to feel the dark moments and find the light the other side. it does get easier

Congrats on the new home Lil, very exciting! I think yours and Mama's ideas for a memory are lovely and exactly how I would choose to remember.

Nothing to report here, af ended yesterday so will be dtd all over again and hoping this month is our month!

Mama thinking of you love xxx
Lil wonderful news how exciting xxx

Thanks Lil, I hope I can start focusing on the positives soon. I am a very positive person but I have never been to these depths of despair so I guess it will take time to get some positivity back. It is just a completely different form of heartbreak to anything else and has had the added stress that it took such a long time to happen, then was taken away from us. Life is unfair isn't it? I just can't help but wonder why these things happen but that's not going to help thinking that way. Sorry this post is quite depressing. Just struggling today. Things will get better I'm sure. That's a lovely idea your necklace x

I totally understand that mama. I feel like the clock reset when I mc. but I've tried to focus on the positive side, things like dhs sa being normal now we are no longer infertile in my mind so there is now a much greater chance of it happening for us without another ivf. but then the 85% of healthy couples will conceive within 1year statistic enters my head and I despair at the thought at least we now know we can do another ivf as soon as we like, that does help me get through. I think when you get a bit further down the road you start to figure out plan b to cope! I certainly did. lovely that you planted that. I knew we were going to move so didn't want to plant something and leave it behind so I bought a necklace instead. I wear it everyday.