Angels and Rainbows - remembering our angels and praying for rainbows (thread2)

ducky that's hilarious! What must she have thought!! I do hope that she humoured you

It's funny what the mind does under the influence of morphine - I read back some of my text messages that I sent under the influence and they were surprisingly logical & to the point.. Weird..

I requested some tablets to sleep at night, and bloody hell were they strong! I hallucinated for a couple of minutes before I fell into the deepest sleep I've ever had - can't remember the name of them but crikey they were good

You must have a big baby critter ds was always a couple of weeks ahead too! Do you know an estimated weight?

Winter, I talk a lot about when I had dd. I was quite out of it on morphine so apparently I was chatting bubbles. I rang a close friend who has a number of dogs and Was asking one by one where each one of them were and what they were doing

Hi ladies,

Seeking a bit of advice.. First meeting with the consultant tomorrow - any ideas what to expect roughly?
Consultant lead due to previous placenta abruption..

critter this time will be different - due some better luck xx

lake nobody needs an arsey midwife, ESP given your circumstances..

Does anybody else have random discussions about their loss/child with their DP/family?
Me & DH were reminiscing last night about the fun times we had in labour (before it went wrong), talked about the sequence of events - cried and laughed, talked about my flashbacks & how I cry every time I see an ambulance with sirens on (just writing that down makes me teary eyed)..

I didn't think my DH would talk much about her with me, but he's actually surprised me :)

Well wishes to you all xx

lake I still feel really sick before scans and heartbeat checks but the 16 week appointment was the hardest, because I was feeling movement but not all the time, and I wasn't massively showing, and it was just hard to imagine that there would be a heartbeat and too easy to think there wouldn't be. Weird of the midwife to be funny about it. You've been through a massive trauma and however you choose to react is your business - I would have thought she would understand that. So if you're not coming back until 28 weeks - who does your 20 week scan? Are you under consultant care this time?

April glad your op went well. Hope you're doing ok.

flam sorry about your wine experience. A little bit won't harm the baby but I can understand how upsetting that must have been.

madem yay for being past the magic 12 week mark. Sounds like you handled telling your colleague perfectly.

An antenatal thread is a good idea, I think. There were no pregnancies for ages when I joined this one - just a few - and I did find it hard when I lost my summer pregnancy to follow others' milestones with their continuing pregnancies, and hard before I was 'allowed' to TTC post c-section to hear about other pregnancies. There seems to be a cluster of people due in the autumn, which is great - I couldn't face the antenatal clubs so it's lovely that we can all support each other.

All good here, apart from anxiety. Baby is measuring a week and a half ahead and I am huge already. Just want to get him out now, but I've got another 2.5 months to go. Hard to believe that there will be a baby at the end of all of this. I felt that last time, that I couldn't believe there would be a baby for me to look after, even at 39 weeks, and then of course, there wasn't. Praying this time will be different. Love to all.

I think an antenatal thread is a good idea.

Townsender, I see where you are coming from and certainly wouldn't want to put people off. I know when I joined their thread there weren't as many people who were pregnant and it may have put me off it there were. X

Ha it's ok April

Glad it went well madem

Sorry Ducky/Madem mixed you up in my last message! Glad it's sorted and worked out Madem!

Thank you all. I ended up sending her a very simple text last night, something along the lines of 'I didn't want you to hear it from someone else and thought a text would be less difficult to process than face to face.". Didn't use the word 'pregnant' - just when I was due. She must have been thinking along the same lines as us in the sense that she sounded genuinely happy! I'm relieved she reacted this way, but then she's such a kind and wonderful person that I'm not surprised at all.
Seems like I'm 12+1 today. Not sure how this happened but it feels really rather good...

Flambola what the heck about your drink?!? Quite right that you should complain! How irresponsible of them!

I hope everyone is as ok as can be. We haven't heard from some of you in such a long time. Winter, Anna, Ellie... Sending love x

Totally agree about the feeling that they are 'worthy' !

How awful about the wine definitely put in a complaint!

Yeah I would def complain Flambola!

Ducky it's difficult to know what to do but I would be inclined to text and give her the heads up. I know what you mean about not wanting to make it a bit deal thoigh. It's not the same but I told my friends recently and before texting telling them on our whatsapp group (I was abroad so couldn't say in person) I text my friend who has had a very hard time getting pregnant so she had chance to digest it before the rest knew. I also was worried about making it a big deal but overall I'm glad I told her separately. I actually know what you mean Flambola when you say about being more 'worthy' it's a strange concept but I did feel when texting her she'd get it more this time than last as although we got pregnant very quickly which is her issue, we have our own issues that come later.

Hope that made sense! Maybe you could tell her by saying she's been a great support so you wanted her to be the first to know?

X

I'm trying to think of how I would prefer to hear it, and if you only really talk via text then that would be the way to do it. I have no idea how to phrase it though.

The thing is, if I had a friend who had gone through similar to me I might deem her more 'worthy' of being pregnant, strange as that may sound? God what am I talking about?!

I'm trying to compose a letter of complaint to Harvester. I went there for something to eat on Friday and ordered an orange and cranberry soft drink. When it came, it was gross, and I kept commenting that it tasted like alcohol but thought it was maybe just a duff soft drink. My DH tried it and agreed so I just left it. Then the bill came, and it was wine! What if I'd've just knocked it back and asked for more?! I blame the fact the woman didn't write the order down. I don't know if that's policy but if it is, it's stupid.

Anyway. Hope everyone is well. I'm nervous for myself and also experiencing a bit of secondary nervousness for everyone else!

Lake, I missed your post! I refused to listen to HB on a few occasions, luckily my midwifes were really nice about it. How strange of her to be funny about it.

Madem, I think maybe tell her outside of work, it may be upsetting for her if she just notices a bump? I don't know though, maybe others will have more useful advice. It's so difficult to know what to do isn't it. X

Glad all has gone well April, what a relief!

Lake - what a odd thing for the me to say, about not being able to do anything if she doesn't find a hb, then being funny about you refusing to take her up on her offer. sone really lack tact, don't they? Hope you're not too upset by it.

Ladies, I need your advice. A colleague I absolutely love and work quite closely with lost her baby at 21 weeks back in October. We are in the same department and talk about our losses occasionally; not at work but by text or FB. What would you do in my situation? I'm only12w but showing quite a lot already and I think personally, I would prefer to get a text, perhaps at the w/e, to have time to process the info, rather than suddenly notice a bulging stomach. Equally, I don't want to make my pregnancy into something bigger than it is. I know her well enough but not outside work. Should I text /FB message her? How should I phrase it? Or am I making this into something more serious than needs be?

Glad to hear everything went well April. Good luck for Monday Vicky.

Had my 16 week midwife appointment Wednesday. Felt like it was quite a waste of time really. She offered to listen to the heartbeat but said she's not allowed to offer as if she can't find it they can't do anything. I said no as the thought of a silent Doppler made me feel sick. She checked my BP and urine and told me to book to come back at 28 weeks. Was there for about 10 mins, she was a bit funny after I refused to let her try. Told me no one had refused before people love to hear it!! 5 more weeks till another scan

April i'm so glad your procedure has gone well and that your doctor is happy with everything, and also how lovely that you got to see the heartbeat too.
My best friend is someone i've known for 15 years so she's probably more like a sister to me than anything. You're right when you say it's tiring putting on a front all the time- i find it exhausts me more to be honest x

So glad it went well April

And good luck for Monday Vicky

I mean confide not confine!

Vicky good luck for Monday.

Kayleigh- I too confine in one particular friend more than others. She's one of my few close friends with children and so I think she gets it a bit more. I'll be seeing a lot of people for the first time next week and I find it easier to try to be happy but I find them by the end of the day when I'm on my own I get upset- it's tiring putting on a front. I'm not worried about getting upset in front of people it's just if I can help it I prefer not too.

Just in hospital recovering from my cervical cerclage. The doc was v pleased how it went. It is now all a bit of an anti climax! It all seemed so straight forward and I have to trust that a little bit of thread can help me get to full term. Glad it's done. I'm
Bleeding quite a lot which is bloody scary but we have seen the baby's heartbeat just now so that's good.

Love to all x

madem so pleased to hear all went well

april i totally agree with you saying about people having expectations. I've found recently that i'm only comfortable talking about hopes/ fears with my best friend, plus she's the only person outside of the family that knows the baby's a girl.

vicky good luck for Monday and fingers crossed you're able to get a scan

Well the gp approved the request for me to take aspirin so i've started that now

lake if we get to the stage of telling people in the wider world about bump then I think I will share the post you put up, it sums everything up beautifully.

Haven't been around for a while, I'm hovering between ignoring the fact we are pregnant and then panic moments so best option just seems to be ignore, bad I know! Like a lot of you sentences if needed start with if everything goes ok, at the odd times me and do have talked about anything.

Consultant on Monday at 16 weeks for us, no scan, but I'm going to try and get one as want to know there is still something in there!

flambola your spot sounds perfect x x
madem people say relax, they do so with the best intentions, but they can't know that it is truly impossible. Good luck x

Great news Madem!

Yes hopefully I'll feel like that. She's been lovely and hasn't really even mentioned her pregnancy since I lost my son.

lake I just properly read the post you put up the other day, it made me sob. It's so true and though very upsetting it was odly comforting. I showed it to my DH and he said it explained things exactly. I almost want to give it to family and friends and people I meet! I have been staying with a friend with a 3 month old for a week which has been tough and I am paranoid that she thinks I'm heartless as I haven't cried at all in front of her (I have plenty on my own). I find that I'm at a stage were with friends I can switch off my emotions slightly, not so much with family tho. I think people have expectations of what I'll be like and I almost feel like I'm a dissapointment if I'm not a blubbering wreck, that's just not how I am functioning right now.

Love to all X