Angels and Rainbows - remembering our angels and praying for rainbows (thread2)

anna so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter, and your recent MC..

You can definitely share the name of your daughter if you wish.. I refer to my daughter on MN simply as DD so that I'm not as easily identified (but somebody could probably work out who I am through the rest of my posts if you knew me anyway!).. So share away if the desire takes you, or you're equally as free to use initial only..

Xxx

redsky thank you. If i'm honest i just ignored the gossips, i had good friends around me who looked out for me which i appreciated a lot. With regards to your appointment and questions to ask, i just thought about what questions i wanted answered and wrote them all down to take with me, as i imagine different mums will have had different experiences so the questions would be different also.

ATM huge congrats to you all! Hoping your pain eases off soon for you and you have a gentle recovery

vicky sorry to hear you've had the extra worry. It's not just your docotrs either- my gp's surgery told me the midwife would need to handle the referral (which to be fair was done pretty quickly)

Anna so sorry you find yourself here, and so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter, and also the baby your recently lost. I hope you find as much comfort and support here as i have.

AFM had my consultant's appointment this afternoon (well his registrar) and while she felt i could be treated as "low-risk" due to having had 2 healthy dc's previously, my consultant wants me treated as "high-risk". So we now have a rough plan of action (extra scans ect) and i'll see the consultant again after my 20 week scan- so roughly 8 weeks time. I'm feeling a bit calmer now things have been discussed too.

Anna, sorry you find yourself here how awful for you to go through that and also a miscarriage.

I hope you find some comfort in this thread like I have. The women on this thread are truly amazing and have really helped me through some difficult times. Feel free to come here to rant, we all understand. X

Hi all.
Don't know where to start.
I lost my beautiful girl at 40 weeks and she was born sleeping with wings at 40+2. On the 20th of September. She had a true knot. Love her so much. I heard about women talking through the hard times on here. So giving it a go.
Sorry for all of your losses. I also had a MC last week. I was 6 weeks. Little angel 'L'wanted a brother or sister to play with up there. I wasn't sure if we was meant to tell anyone the name of our child because I see everyone just mentions a letter.
Hi ladies.
I wish we could send real life hugs to each other.
Well if I'm wishing I wish we could all have our Angels back.
Thinking of you all x

ATM congratulations that's brilliant news, hope the recovery goes smoothly now you are home

flambola I had my consultant appt at about 6 weeks so 8-10 sounds okay.
My appt really only told me what I already knew as dd's cause of death was severe placenta abruption, but although I know the cause of it I still don't know why it happened to me/dd. Just shitty luck I guess - so what I'm trying to say is, I had answers & it's still shit.
I hope you gets the answers that will bring you the most peace

Good luck with ttc & keep a truck load so swimmers up there - 1 of them will eventually finds it way!

ATM congrats on new baby 'E'. I can totally see why it was so emotional.. I can honestly see myself being exactly the same!
I hope you have c section knickers from mothercare!!. They're ridiculously expensive but they are so comfy! I wore them for about 7 weeks so get yourself some if you haven't already.

Congrats ATM - that's wonderful news!

april - I'm due on Friday too. I feel exactly the same as you, all I keep thinking about is having as much sex as possible to keep the sperm count high. That's gross, isn't it? I think I missed the window too.

Lake - I don't have an appointment yet. We were told it would take 8-10 weeks which I'm sure it's coming up too. I'm a bit worried about not getting any answers, but I feel like I could maybe move on if that was the case, knowing it's just 'one of those things' . I don't know. Not very good at explaining myself!

When do people generally see a consultant after a stillbirth?

town thinking of you today. A massive hug. Hope the day was peaceful.

redsky we didn't get a PM either for the same reason as you - we thought we knew what had happened. I guess questions for your consultant would be: what does she/he think happened? does he/she have more information to share with you? does she/he recommend more tests? when can you ttc again? what would your care be like in a subsequent pregnancy? At this stage after a loss, it's just getting through the days. Two months is nothing. The only thing I can say is the time WILL pass and the pain will not go but you will have longer stretches of time to catch your breath between the extreme agony, and you WILL get through this. Sending you so much love sweetheart.

kayleigh that's great that you're nearly out of the first trimester! So happy for you. I'm sorry about the gossip. I waited until 16 weeks to tell most people at work and still haven't told everyone at nearly 20 weeks. You can do this on your schedule. Just take it day by day.

Love to everyone else. Sorry for short post.

Hi all

I've been offline for a few weeks as I have had my sister to stay. I've just looked through the posts that I have missed.

LakeofDreams - I also had a corpus leutem cyst when I last had an ultrasound of my ovaries. It is left over from ovulation and they usually go away at the end of your cycle but they sometimes hang around for a lot longer. I have been told it is nothing to worry about.

Flambola/EllieandAnna - I am also trying to conceive. AF is due on Friday and I am pretty sure I am out this month. I am finding ttc all consuming at the moment as I am not working and so trying my best to occupy my mind with other things.

A sad welcome to Viking and Red. So very sad to hear about your losses.

Viking - I used to live in London (I moved to Dubai just a week before I had my baby boy at just under 25 weeks in December. He died after 12 days in the NICU on 18th December). I didn't see a consultant whilst I was living there but in the last month I have been consulting remotely with Dr Gibb of the Birth Clinic on Harley Street. He is private only and is very experienced. I am not certain whether he is what you are looking for though but it may be worth checking out his website (www.thebirthcompany.co.uk/about-us/donald-gibb/). I plan to use him to give me a cervical cerclage when I next get pregnant - I lost my baby due to a weak cervix.

Congrats to everyone else on their BFPs or scans etc.

x

Massive congratulations ATM what lovely news.

town I hope you are feeling alright today after yesterday. I often find its the day after when things hit me so thinking about you.

Welcome to the newbies x x

AFM - convinced myself something untoward was happening on Friday as small amount of darkish coloured discharge ( sorry for tmi) but thankfully that's stopped now. Besides this doctors surgery have taken it upon themselves to mess up planned appointments with midwife as apparently only the midwife and not the doctor !!!!, can refer me to consultant for the pregnancy! I'm astounded yet again by my rubbish surgery and really must move doctors.

Hope everyone is well as can be x

Congratulations ATM - wonderful news!

Yayyy ATM wicked news!!!! So happy for you x

Hi all. Sorry not to name check everyone but I haven't had chance to read back through the thread for over a week now. I just wanted to pop in and let you know that our rainbow, a DD 'E' arrived by c-section on Thursday last week. The surgery itself was fine but from the moment she arrived I just cried and cried, a combination of 'this is what could have been' and 'I can't believe she's actually here and we get to keep her' I think, but all of the staff were aware of us losing F and couldn't have been more lovely. .

I lost 2.5 pints of blood during the surgery so spent the first few days feeling really unwell and now I am just surprised by how painful the recovery is! So many people told me I'd be on my feet in a few days and just taking the odd paracetamol, but I'm just finding it really painful. Managing to hobble around since we got home yesterday and my DH is being amazing. It's really frustrating as I feel well, and happy in myself, maybe I've just got a really low pain threshold.

Apart from having her days and nights mixed up, so far DD is amazing and very content. Our older DD adores her younger sister and DH and I just feel so blessed. Without meaning to sound patronising in any way, I just wanted to say to all of those of you either ttc or pregnant with your rainbows, have faith, it can happen. I'd convinced myself throughout my entire pregnancy that we wouldn't be bringing this baby home, yet, here she is and I still can't quite believe it.

Sending warm and peaceful un-mumsnetty hugs to you all x

Thank you lake.

Kayleigh - thank you. I really feel for you. One of the worst things for me after losing A was having to do the school run again - it's horrible facing everyone, especially people you don't know very well, knowing they are talking about you, even if they are being kind iyswim. Hope your announcement goes OK and that you manage to avoid too much unwanted interference!

Critter - it was all a bit of a blur after I gave birth but I remember authorising tests on the placenta and a skin graft from A to test for genetic issues. We decided against a pm as they were convinced it was an abruption as a massive blood clot accompanied the placenta. I also remember them taking loads of blood and testing for infections/clotting problems etc after the scan found no heart beat but before I had him - they said they found nothing, but not sure whether to ask for another test for clotting disorders. Probably something to ask the consultant about I guess.

Flambola - sorry to hear you're feeling rubbish. I felt really low again - weepy, irritable for no reason etc - at the beginning of last week, just before we passed the 2 month mark on Thurs. Have felt a bit better since so hope the same is true for you after Wed. Well done for doing the fun run. I've started running too which is helping clear my head a bit, I think, but haven't sorted out any fundraising yet.

AFM, I'm just counting down the days until our appt next week really. I think AF is all messed up anyway, which is depressing, but will be good to get the go-ahead to TTC again. If anyone has any advice for how to approach the meeting/questions to ask etc then I'd be really grateful .

viking welcome, and so sorry about your daughter. I'd had blood tests done at my consultant's request a few weeks after Ben's birth as i'd had a 900gram clot, but how awful that your consultant won't do the same for you.

ducky my af has always settled quite quickly after birth so i'm not sure i'd be much help. Maybe keep an eye on it and see your gp if it's worrying you?

redsky welcome, and so sorry to hear about your little boy. I hope your meeting in March gives you some answers.

critter 12 week scan is on 5th March (i'll be nearly 14 weeks by then though), but i have a meeting with my consultant this coming Tuesday, so it'll be good to sit down and discuss a few things with him.

flambola me and dh held a charity fundraising night for SANDS back in October, although we haven't really used their services other than going to the annual balloon release our local branch do each summer.

town sending love today, i hope you managed to spend the day how you wanted and didn't feel too ill.

AFM i'm in a bit of a quandry regarding our rainbow pregnancy becoming public knowledge. We live in a small town where everyone seems to think they're entitled to an opinion on everything (people were talking about me because i was doing the school run with the older dc's a week after having Ben- a lot of them i didn't even know to tell about Ben in the first place!) As we have friends/family all over the place the easiest way of doing it is Facebook, so i'm steeling myself for the gossip to start again- the joys xx

Thinking of you town hope you didn't feel too unwell and managed to spend today the way you wanted to

Flambola I hope the post mortem gives you some answers, sadly ours gave us nothing. The consultant couldn't even really say if our little girl was little because of a blood supply problem or because she was genetically small. I wasn't sure whether I was happy or sad about having no answers. I ended up rationalising it at least we knew what it wasn't if that makes sense. Even now I find it unbelievable that we heard her heart beating on the Friday at a midwife appointment and by the Monday she was gone for no reason other than it happens and we don't know why. I had to wait over 2 months for the results too. Have you got an appointment for the results yet?

Welcome red sky sorry for your loss

Town I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

Argh feeling a bit poop atm. On Wednesday it'll have been two months since I lost my son. I wish I had the results from the post-mortem so I know if it's a pipe-dream ttc.

And thinking of you too ATM x

Thank you all for the warm welcome. Just wrote a long post then it disappeared before I could upload it - arghhh! Will try again tomorrow but I just wanted to say that I'll be thinking of you tomorrow too, town. Big hugs.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow town x

town sending you love & strength for tomorrow

Welcome redsky, it's an awful thing to have to go through anyway, let alone at Christmas we seemed to have a lot of people joining recently, it's so sad

redsky - I hope you get some answers. We haven't had the results from our pm yet, but at the time they said it looks like placental abruption too. I feel a bit in limbo atm, not knowing.

I'm doing a fun run in Sefton Park for SANDS in August. Anyone else done any fundraising? I haven't actually used their services yet though!

Hello Viking.