Grab your Ganeshas and collect your cats: The Elderberry Pavlovas in the Quest for the New Year clusterdiff (thread 25)

So sorry Beaky, was hoping for a stealthy BFP for you. What are the next steps for you? Make sure you spoil yourself and Beakypup today.

beaky I'm so sorry , I had a little niggling hope that it would all turn out ok and stick two fingers up to the ivf .

happy my top tip of the day - always copy the text when typing a long post/before posting, then if you lose it you can just paste it in again . learnt the hard way

Oh Beaky, im so sorry hun... and give beakypup an extra squeeze x

BFN for me berries, off to drink all of the wine now

Barking - you should be able to have the scratch and the glue. I don't see why the should say no. Is it NHS? They may let you add on extras like that if you pay.

Gill - Boooooo to AF! Let's how the wait is a short one fur a new date.

Can I test yet? Can I can I can I...!?!?!?! Pur-weeeeeeze ?? I might buy some tomorrow!

Oh Gill that's so incredibly frustrating . Everything crossed they can fit you in a couple of weeks later.

Will have to cancel the op on Monday morning as AF has arrived as predicted. I just hope I don't get bumped to the end of the list and have to wait weeks for another appointment.

Hm. Nice phone correct from me there last time, well spotted beaky! How are those emails doing jellie?! Not long now!!

Happy I would totally go for that if it was down the road from me despite HATING anyone touching my feet What have you got to lose?! It's no more crazy than me boiling up the chinese herbs! It'll help get you in the right head space if nothing else.

wild hope you've got a nice chilled out weekend planned so you can relax.

nolly it's so hard when you realise where you would have been. I should be bringing a newborn home from hospital about now if the last pg had worked, and my mate is about to go into labour any day. I've been avoiding her. DH's mates are already talking about their son's 1st birthday next month. That would have been us in April. It stinks. Oh, and the friend who caused my first pang by announcing she was pg after we'd been ttc for a year has just announced she's pg again

smidge I'm so sorry . It's all so unfair.

tiger hope you're enjoying your week back home

gillster how are the dates lining up for your op? Is it likely to be a goer?

beaky when are you testing? Any pimping action yet??

I've got the consultant appointment on Monday about the IVF. I'm going to ask about a scratch although I have a feeling that will be a no because they do the embryo glue. I'm going to ask about vitamins and diet and about aspirin again. I'll have dalteparin from bfp if we get one, but what I'd really like is prednisolone although I have a feeling I'll get shot down on that one. Anything else you knowledgeable berries can think of to put on my list of questions? This is our one and only shot so there's no point saving anything until 'next time'.

Happy - That looks interesting, kind of a one stop shop. And I think reflexology has to be better than acupuncture (which I didn't really like) 'cos if it doesn't do anything, at least you've had a foot rub.

Wild - that sounds like a plan - hope you're taking it easy.

Smidge - sorry to have it confirmed. I know you were expecting it but its still rubbish.

Tiger - Yes we're home - I keep trying to post but my tablet has gone a bit rubbish since an update and freezes all the time. I'm off work until Monday and I've just booked in for a blood test Next Thursday so its not really even 2 weeks! 6 days now! EEEEP - glad you are having a nice 1/2 day and are getting back to Mr T. VAGINAL STEAMING?!?!?! WHAT the actual? It sounds dangerous! LOL

Beaky - I'm sure you've already said when OTD is but I cant see it from here. Fingers toes and eyes crossed, it must be soon :)

AFM - feeling much better now my cold seems on the way out. Just lay about yesterday in a nose dripping eye watering mess. Made it to ASDA but that was it. We're going to walk in to town (slowly) and see if I can find Mr J a birthday pressie. We are then going to the flicks!

Anyway happy Friday everyone!

oh yes and beaky, will prob be out of radio contact until monday in which case i will be crossing all my toes, fingers and ears if I can.

Hugs Smidge sorry that the tests have confirmed what you thought. I hope AliG has some ideas and answers for you. Micro emboli are tiny clots that could reduce blood flow to the area where the embie is bedding in.

oh no smidge. Suspecting definetly doesn't make it easier, as you've had all that time to dread it and live with it - and then the news is like being punched on a bruise. You poor thing.Time out, lick your wounds.

Thanks tiger, gil. It's just a bit of a kick in the stomach - it's a horrible reminder that even if I do get pregant again, I won't be able to let myself get excited as I'll be thinking 'it'll jst make it worse'. I think that loss of excitement is one of the saddest things about long term ttc.

Anyway. It's friday people. Weekend beckons. x

So sorry that you've had your worst fears confirmed Smidge. I hope you can get answers and be able to move on with the next steps.

Ace news Jellie - PUPO! Hopefully those "emails" are snuggling in as we speak.

Hope the stimming is going OK Wild.

Come on Beaky - we need a BFP!

Hugs to Nolly too, it must be hard going through the key milestones.

So sorry to hear that Smidge. It is so frustrating.

We are very sure about not having any more treatment. We always said we'd stop at three. I'm 40 in April so I think that closes a door on it and we are moving on.

Oh Smidge that jut sucks. As you said, even though you were expecting it it is still depressing to hear it for real. I think you should definitely see AliG to hear her take on why it might have failed and for her to outline next steps. Even if you don't go with AliG again it is still worth hearing what she thinks after this cycle. She may shed a bit of light.

Did you get TNFalpha results in your immune testing? I don't actually know what TNF alpha is (!) but the treatment some clinics use is Humira. That's one of the more controversial immune treatments. Maybe you could check it out to see what you think.

Hope you and MrSmidge are coping.

smidge and I'm sorry the bfn has been confirmed. It is so frustrating. Hope you're doing ok. What's your plan after this?

Congratulations jellie on a good result. Hope you're home safe and those blasts are snuggling down. What are your plans for the 2ww?

nolly those milestones must be very hard. Keeping going with ttc until August sounds like a plan. You never know and at least you have a cut off and plan ahead. I This is our last cycle before IVF and there is still quite a big part of me that hopes for a fufc. Loved cat bounce, have shared the love with that and forwarded to a few friends!

happy hope you're doing ok. Reflexology or anything is worth a try in my view. But you're talking to the girl who has had acu, abdominal massage, therapy, spent a shed load on vitamins, given up wheat and gluten, tried mindfulness techniques and read a load of books about getting pg and is even considering vaginal steaming. so I would say that . Personally I just like to feel like I'm doing something plus offloading to a therapist is very good for keeping me sane.

Glad to hear you have a plan hb and hope you're doing ok.

wild great plan! When is EC?

beaky when is OTD?

Well, thank goodness it is Friday. This week has been a bit shitty but only doing a half day today, so will be back in Mr T's arms in no time!

Thanks Wild, lumen and nolly (everyone, basically). Unfortunately they just called with the results and it's a negative. Expecting it doesn't seem to make it any easier . I felt so rubbish walking into the lift after the blood test knowing it was the end of another waste of time. (And money).

Beaky I read some of that thread you're referring to I think. Luckily for me my clinic do a blood test the day before ET to check that oestrogen levels have dropped and that progesterone has risen sufficiently to go ahead with ET. They also do blood tests on the bfn and have (on each occasion) told me that my progesterone level is high. So I can be pretty safe in assuming I'm absorbing the progesterone properly and that my levels are high throughout the 2ww.

So who knows why I bleed, given it's not progesterone nor endometriosis! AliG didn't seem that bothered about it but I will mention it again assuming we have a follow up appointment.

HB what are micro emboli?! Sounds a bit like eboli! Are you ok with the suggestion not to bother with immune testing? Mind you, a scratch is treatment for it anyway so perhaps he's happy just to try the coverall type approach.

Pip how are you doing? Do you have plans to try any more treatments? I know you had said 3 times only but I'm well aware these promises we make ourselves can change, especially given you got that step closer. I turned down the offer of speaking to the clinic's counsellor today. Couldn't see the point really. I want to speak to someone who can fix this, not make me accept it

Smidge I hope everything goes ok for you on Friday. Chin up. Lots of lovely Berry love to you.

I'm so wiped out. Very long day at work, when I was expecting to have an easy one. Grrr.

My follie growing plan for this evening is i) Eat lots of protein ii) Listen to Stevie Wonder iii) Lie down

Waves weakly to everyone else.

X post hb, good to hear there is a plan in place but I know from experience it doesn't make it any easier. I have just had those blood tests done too, still waiting on results.

In case there's a new thread soon my stats:

Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle in the summer

I am back seeing my reflexology lady happy and I have stopped the acu. I find it much more relaxing and am seeing her twice a month to try it naturally before we do our last IVF. The plan is a good one except when my fertile time falls in the week dh is on nights and we don't physically see each other (like this month)

I'd suggest trying it to see if you like it, not everyone likes having their feet touched

Evening berries,
Apologies for not being around for a few days, there is a lot to catch up on so promise I will do so later but thought I'd let you know what the consultant review said.

The consultant is disappointment about the cycle and agreed that it couldn't be more opposite to the last. Although we didn't get the positive test this time he agrees that from my symptoms I was producing HCG so this is classed as failed implantation again. So he doesn't believe in autoimmune testing and he hasn't run any for ten years! He has however suggested that I could be throwing off micro emboli so is going to run the recurrent miscarriage thrombotic profile. They are also going to do a scratch on the cycle before my next IVF cycle and switch to short protocol. It's a lot to take in and I'm still not sure why things are not working so processing things at the moment.

I'm sorry for the me post, I promise to catch up on everyone else but congratulations Jellie on being PUPO and on the fantastic grade embies. I have everything crossed for you. Happy I am so sorry that you have not been successful. Hugs to you and DH.

I see we are getting towards the end of another thread so my details if we update the list.....HampshireBlues 36 TTC 3.5 years, unexplained. Cycle 1 chemical pregnancy, cycle 2 abandoned due to cyst, cycle 3 failed. Plan thrombotic profile, scratch and short protocol.