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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

The BESH are powering ahead on a gin and prosecco fuelled hover board, in the general direction of 2030

995 replies

barkingtreefrog · 12/12/2014 21:42

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).Â

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

  1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

  2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

  3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
    a) weewee
    b) poopoo
    c) foofoo
    d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

  4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
    a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
    b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

  5. Is R2D2:
    a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
    b) the source of all evil.

  6. Number of pets?

  7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

  8. Lesbian crush?

  9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
    a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
    b) Over 100 quid
    c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

  10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

  11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

OP posts:
cherrycoconut · 28/02/2015 14:30

Rain was right, three definitely is the magic number.

cherrycoconut · 28/02/2015 14:29

Oh Fab this is bestest news, congratulations, you're only ducking diffed my love! Grin Flowers so, so thrilled for you! OMG longest few weeks ever coming up though. Temporary stasis looks so tempting...

Droid has arrived for me today so start on my drucks this eve. Hags, we're officially under starter's orders. Shock

Fabuluce · 28/02/2015 14:15

Well Hags, the number has almost tripled! It's still low compared to the average numbers at 141 but the clinic isn't bothered by this and doesn't need me to get another test done so I'm now booked in for my 7 week scan. Fuck me, what a week. Can I book in for a sleep for the next couple of months? I'd be happy to skip the next bit and get to definitely pregnant with a healthy baby/ies (although I suspect omgivftwinz may be unlikely with these low numbers) in my womble?? So. I'm definitely pregnant!GrinGrinGrin

And in other news I'm very excited about Chez and Barking's upcoming ivf. I need you Hags!!

Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 28/02/2015 12:49

When can you phone for results fab just so I know when to check back
Wouldn't it be lovely if you could drift off to sleep and have lovely dreams then wake up and know everything was ok? Thanks

OP posts:
Fabuluce · 28/02/2015 10:44

Thanks for the plentiful fish Hags, much appreciated. I'm actually feeling sick with nerves at the moment. Bloods done and am on my way home so it is all in the hands of the gods now. Gulp.

Fabuluce · 28/02/2015 10:43

Thanks for the plentiful fish Hags, much appreciated. I'm actually feeling sick with nerves at the moment. Bloods done and am on my way home so it is all in the hands of the gods now. Gulp.

cherrycoconut · 28/02/2015 08:20

Just popping by to channel good thoughts to you and the OMGIVFTWINZ this morning Fab. Hoping for a nice comforting jump in the numbers for some piece of mind for you. In the meantime step away from the tinterweb laydee, you know it won't do you any good. Is it 5 hrs from this morning again that you get the results?

Have fun on the bike today Barking. Ooh, we're almost cycle buddies of the IVF kind. Couldn't ride a bike for love nor money today. After resisting it for so long I have succumbed to the lurgy hags. Sad Trying to be thankful it's now and not in a couple of weeks time but I still feel like shit!

TheBuggerlugs · 28/02/2015 08:18

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 28/02/2015 08:08

chez I'll be approximately a week behind you!

Sorry to post and run and probably miss stuff, off out on the mountain bike Grin.

OP posts:
Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 28/02/2015 08:06

Thinking of you today Fab, channelling big numbers! Thanks

OP posts:
TheRainDrops · 27/02/2015 22:37

Cod, cockles, cuttlefish and coleys of calm fab. The conception board and pregnancy board are to be avoided at all costs!

I'm out and about most of tomorrow but will be thinking of you, hoping for some impressive multiplication for the OMFGIVFTWINZZZZ. Xxx

Fabuluce · 27/02/2015 22:13

I did a stupid thing as I was bored and our bloody wifi isn't bloody working abloodygain (well specifically it's not working in Netflix or amazon grrr) so I started flicking through mumsnet. Aaaargh. Why do I even need to look at any other thread than this one?? Saw the most ridiculous thread where people are posting their BFP due dates??? Fucking hell!!

Aside from this I have officially started bricking myself for tomorrow's test. Gahhh. The headfuckery continues. Sigh.

cherrycoconut · 27/02/2015 20:22

Bad I hope the presentation went smoothly and swiftly and you're now basking in reflected glory, somewhere warm, cosy and preferably with gin. NOW we can rejoice in the Fridayness! Your concussion shag story is priceless. Grin

I've got the haddock of higher HCG's ready for tomorrow Fab. Everything crossed for you.

Barking I'm also waiting for a bleed, should be any day now, and then I can get on the happy drucks - basically mainlining oestrogen until TX for a cushiony womble - which has the added upside of making me feel superhuman. Don't get enough of that lovely stuff in my life anymore. EC wk beginning 13 March at the moment. How 'bout you?

Still singing 3 is a magic number now, thanks Rain!

TheRainDrops · 27/02/2015 16:48

hope it went well bad!

fab I am singing three is the magic number in your general direction for positive multiplication vibes. Grin

Just found out one of my close friends is pregnant with her third. She took nearly two years to conceive her first and we started ttc together in 2012 (when she was trying for #2). She gave birth to DS2 on the day my miscarriage happened and now she's pregnant again with a 'surprise' baby. She's lovely and had only ever been sensitive and kind about my plight but I still can't help being Envy Envy Envy Envy . Two kids in the time I've been trying, and failing, to have one. Bah. Sad

Fabuluce · 27/02/2015 14:59

Good luck with the presentation and remember - ONLY 3 hours left before home time!!!

badb · 27/02/2015 13:11

Fab, the Audi driver reference is both gender and local specific, I think Smile

I don't finish until 6. Gah, this day. And I'm missing a really interesting seminar to deliver this terrible presentation.

Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 27/02/2015 11:16

bad that is insane.
And knowledge is power, go find out what's going on! Chances are everything is fine, that's the most common result!

OP posts:
Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 27/02/2015 11:15

Waiting impatiently for the droid, Fab. Currently cd 21 and last few cycles have been between 27 and 30 days. Day 1 I call, day 2 I go in for a scan and bloods and depending on the scan and bloods I either start injecting then or day 3.
Spoke to a hypnotherapist last night, hoping to get an appointment next week...

OP posts:
Fabuluce · 27/02/2015 11:12

Ps Bad that concussion shag story is terrible and hilarious all rolled into one!!!

Fabuluce · 27/02/2015 10:09

Yeah Hcg levels (follows Bad's stern look with her own formidable over the glasses eyeballing to womb) - do your doubling thing!

I guess we've been very lucky in that TWH and I haven't had to travel for work and therefore miss out on prime time shagging - I can imagine it must feel so frustrating - it's hard enough to get diffed when you actually have the opportunity to shag let alone see it slipping away from you because of work. Confused

Bad, I'm an Audi driver Wink not an aggressive one who drives like a twat though! I hear your frustration though - what time does your day finish today?

Chez, I'm still in shock from your mock transfer etc - well done in the womble recovering so quickly though, that's a very good thing Smile so have they given you any estimation of when transfer will be? Are you now concentrating on growing a nice plump womble lining?

Barking - when does stabbing commence? Is it next week??

badb · 27/02/2015 08:53

Morning hags.

Fab, I'm sending your HcG levels firm but encouraging looks.

Erica, the jungle, eh? How annoying to be away during peak bonking time. A friend of mine once had her husband fly three hours to meet her while she was away on a work conference. Then he got into a car crash on the way to her hotel, and had to stay in the hospital overnight for observation. She rang me to ask Himself whether it would be dangerous to have sex while potentially concussed. Hah!

So, we're away for a couple of weeks in March, but I think I'm going to schedule the HSG test when I get back. I'm already stressing about it, and I've basically convinced myself that both my tubes are blocked and/or mangled. So best to get it over with, I think. Unless a miracle happens on holiday (it might, right?), the end of March should be the right point in the cycle. I'm going to ring the clinic on Monday to chat about it.

Off topic. I've been at my desk since 7.30am , and things that are getting on my wick this morning:

  1. Low-lying sun that makes it really difficult to drive, even with sunglasses.
  2. Men in Audis that speed up the right-turn only lane and try to skip into the left turn lane at the junction, and then get aggressive with you when you refuse to let them in.
  3. Inarticulate newsreaders on the radio.
  4. Students who ask you for a reference (for next week!), but then get all cagey and question you about why you need to see their programme application and academic transcript when "you know how I did in your seminar". Grand so: your reference will read "I met X during Y seminar. He achieved a B+ grade."

I wish it could rejoice at it being Friday, but sadly I have a big presentation at 3pm. Sigh.

Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 27/02/2015 06:52

What are your potential dates then chez? When is the serious action likely to commence?

OP posts:
EricaJ · 27/02/2015 02:47

Aaargh! My long message just dissapeared.

Fab Such fantastic news! The sequined nipple tassels are out for you!

Hags, only february and the clusterdiff has begun!! Go, go, go us!Grin

As may have noticed by my badly written posts, I am in the middlee of nowhere, using crappy wifi on my phone.

However, being in the jungle has not stopped me from using OPKs and getting all frustrated because I get positives but can't TTC. Why do I do this to myself????

FizzyFeet · 26/02/2015 20:53

OMG! I'm late to the party but have strapped in my nipple tassles anyway! Today you are pregnant hooray hooray hooray! Crossing everything for a big increase in the numbers. You're right about the roller coaster - and I'm not even the one who's diffed!

cherry that does sound like a v weird experience. Glad you're out the other side and at least the team know what they are doing for the real thing!

FrankelandFilly · 26/02/2015 20:00

One day at a time is definitely the best way to go Fab. I've got everything crossed for a big jump in numbers on Saturday.

Glad the foof is on the mend cherry