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Conception

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Original poster

The BESH are powering ahead on a gin and prosecco fuelled hover board, in the general direction of 2030

995 replies

barkingtreefrog · 12/12/2014 21:42

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).Â

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

  1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

  2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

  3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
    a) weewee
    b) poopoo
    c) foofoo
    d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

  4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
    a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
    b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

  5. Is R2D2:
    a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
    b) the source of all evil.

  6. Number of pets?

  7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

  8. Lesbian crush?

  9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
    a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
    b) Over 100 quid
    c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

  10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

  11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

OP posts:
TheRainDrops · 15/01/2015 22:17

Thanks (again) hags for being so luffly. Obviously today was mega shit but I know we did the right thing - these little fur balls give us all so much unconditional love it's the last kind thing we can do for them when they're suffering. I keep thinking I can hear her (she always had long claws so could hear her coming before she appeared) but obviously not. Sad

cherrycoconut · 15/01/2015 22:07

Just putting it out there. As you were.

cherrycoconut · 15/01/2015 22:06

I am cluster posting in the hope of manifesting a BESH cluster diff BTW.

cherrycoconut · 15/01/2015 22:04

Erica I imagine the tepee dating (ha ha, I wrote trepidation and this is what auto correct gives me, chuckle) ahem, serious face, I imagine the trepidation must be huge. The threat of MC scares me and I've never been through the horror.

I'm reading some interesting things about healing immune problems holistically at the moment. Chapter 1 and I don't think I'll ever eat gluten again Grin I'm also reading about psycho-neuroimmunology; neurobiology research that shows that chemicals produced by our emotions influence cells that act on the body and immune system. Got about 5 books on the go, don't know which to read first, lol! If I could just curl up into sofa in front of the fire tomorrow, dip my head in a book and not have to talk to anyone, that would be just grand thanks very much. #grumpy #givememylifeback

cherrycoconut · 15/01/2015 21:46

Before you know it your bloke cleaner will be wanting paternity Fab Grin
ROCH can't wait for us to lay so he can give up work to become a house husband unfortunately I earn considerably more so it makes sense. I'd love a solution that would enable us both to work part time though. Dream on!

cherrycoconut · 15/01/2015 21:40

Oh Rain I'm so sorry, what sad news. No wonder Rainycat #2 is feeling it, as I'm sure you are too, much love to you all.

I've had a better today thanks for asking Fab, up to my eyeballs still but no tears at any rate. Both boys still below par but getting on top of the work situation hopefully and some perspective.

Barking that's just shit, keep focussing on the dream and putting it out there. You must have the biggest collection of smug differ friends and aquaintences of anyone I know.

Blue I think you need to get some honest answers from your PCT about wait times but if time is of the essence and you can do it then I've been shocked at the difference in speed and attentiveness at the private v NHS experience.

How are you feeling on the drucks oh stabbing BESH?

FizzyFeet · 15/01/2015 21:33

So sorry to hear about RainyCat, rain.

barking arses! Is everyone in the world up the duff? My cleaner is a bloke so hopefully we won't have to deal with that particular scenario... The shared parenting 4-days each bit sounds really good to me, too. Not sure GFBW would be convinced, though - I think it is still harder for men to prove they are committed to their career if they request it. But then that won't change until more of them actually start doing it!

Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 15/01/2015 17:51

Arghhhhh!!!!!

Bad times, hags. Bear with me while I fill in the back story as I'm rubbish at being concise. When I quit teaching and took a massive pay cut (but also a big cut in stress and hours) in order to throw everything possible at TTC one of the sacrifices was getting rid of our wonderful weekly cleaner. DCW was very distressed by this and has been muttering about hating cleaning ever since. Last week I caved in and agreed to text the cleaner to see if she could come back to us. Got a reply today. She can't come back to us. She is 6 months fucking pregnant!!!!
Angry Envy Angry Envy Angry Envy Angry Envy Angry

She's got kids plural already. And she's younger than me. Envy .

Aaaanywaay. DCW has redundancies happening at work. They've asked if anyone wants to go part time (not immediately). I said DCW should see if he could do 4 days a week as we'll have a baby by the end of the year and it would mean he could spend one day a week with baby In my perfect, ideal world, we would have a baby, then both work part time, me 3 days after maternity, him 4 days, and we'd have childcare 2 days. No idea how this works financially, but this is my dream world so it doesn't matter, does it?!

OP posts:
EricaJ · 15/01/2015 12:38

Ha ha! My head is obviously to full with TTC, IUI, droids, IVF etc... getting all mixed up now!

Don't know about 'baby-brain' but TTC brain is definitely a thing!

Fabuluce · 15/01/2015 12:18

Ha that makes more sense now Smile totally understand the trepidation but can say that for me I felt much more like there was a plan to follow and reasons to be positive once I was on the ivf route.

EricaJ · 15/01/2015 10:05

What I wrote makes no sense!

Doctor thinks

And I got three BFPs (not three IUIs 'trying naturally' - what??)

As I said, panic! Trepidation!

Fabuluce · 15/01/2015 09:31

Chez I hope your spectacularly shit day was left behind yesterday and you are able to start this day afresh along with happier boys!

Fabuluce · 15/01/2015 09:29

So sorry to hear your news Rain Hmm

Pleased as punch for you Barking that you're able to get cracking straight away - go go go!

It's all so difficult to know what the best thing to do isn't it. As I was 39 when we first went to our clinic we were advised to go straight to ivf because of my age and lack of other obvious issues. I still think it was the right move although we had a 1.5yr hiatus between #2 & #3 for various unchangeable reasons. Good luck Hags!

EricaJ · 15/01/2015 09:07

I am so sorry Rain.

I think our doctor did the right thing trying other things before IVF (he think we should still wait before starting - as I said, April-May). After all, and quite ironically, I never got pg with clomid, letroz or IUI but got three IUIs when trying naturally, so there is a logic behind it and since it's a private clinic, it's sort of in their interest to get me into my expensive treatment.

I guess I am just panicking and wondering what happens if we don't get diffed this year. Or if I mc again. TREPIDATION!!

Barking Thursday definitely nearly week end! Happy everything is going so well and fast for you, hag!

CLUSTERDIFF!

TheBuggerlugs · 15/01/2015 09:00

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 15/01/2015 07:01

I'm so sorry, rain Sad Thanks.

Blue if you can afford private I'd go for it. We did iui 18 months after we got referred (although the first mc after the clomid slowed things down slightly). As rain said, some of the less invasive treatments do work for some people - clomid worked for me but only once in six goes, and iui worked for me last time (hoping not to repeat the pattern there of it only working the first time).

chez I hope the swelling goes down and you're back riding cocohorse soon.

Is it nearly the weekend yet?

OP posts:
Blue2014 · 14/01/2015 23:42

And barking and fizz ....oooh nearly ready for the cluster diff (no pressureWink)

Barking, nope he's not nearly 90 but he is 50 so I needed to be sure of the limits. Thinking of possibly by passing the nhs route all together with the waits you have all had (we aren't even at the point of being referred anywhere)

Blue2014 · 14/01/2015 23:40

Oh Rain Sad bad news, I'm sorry to hear it Thanks

TheRainDrops · 14/01/2015 22:41

Oh exciting news barking and fiz - come on the BESH! Grin

erica ultimately for us infertile hags IVF is basically the best shot we have, so it definitely can feel like we're being dragged round the houses with all the less intrusive stuff first but evidently those simpler treatments must work for some people otherwise they wouldn't bother! Just fucking shitty that they don't work for us!

blue all I did for RAFs nickname was condense his life long passion into an acronym - real ale fan! Simple as that.

Thanks for asking after Rainycat. Unfortunately it looks like it's the worst case scenario. They now doubt that it is lymphoma (awaiting second opinion tomorrow) and more likely is a carcinoma (sp?) which given its size, location and her poor condition basically leaves us with only one sensible, kind choice left. We'll have to make that call tomorrow once they confirm the diagnosis, I've been in a state of total denial about it all day so far. Rainycat#2 is behaving oddly this eve, he definitely knows something's up. Will be sorting insurance for him asap. Sad

cherrycoconut · 14/01/2015 22:31

That's great Barking, wow, you and Fab are both really on it, some acshool BESH action ready for BESH cluster diff Langouistines of luck your way.

Just popping in to say hi, see how Rainycat is, down gin with all and drown the sorrows of a spectacularly shit day. My only better news is that Coconut horse is marginally better and vet lady doesn't think it's anything too sinister, though is still a bit concerned by the swelling. So who knows.

1cycle of IVF on the NHS here, 18 month wait for us to get access to it. I was 33 when we started this process, soon to be 36, urgh.

Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 14/01/2015 22:14

blue I had to read that many times before I realised you weren't saying that Mr Blue was significantly over 50 but not pushing 90. Or were you and I've just put my foot in it? Blush Hmm Wink

One NHS round of ivf here, minimum 2 years TTC but you'd be lucky to actually get it after 2 years. We had our first iui after 2.5 years. I'm just glad we get iui first, even though it has a very low success rate and most places don't bother any more.
There isn't a 35 limit (thankfully, given I turn 36 this year before we'll have it if necessary) but the age limit for reduced cost private ivf via egg sharing is 35, so that ship has sailed Sad .

rain how's the furball?

We have pet insurance. Good job too, given the time the dog broke his leg when the gate shut on it in the wind. And the time he mangled his ear trying to retrieve a frisbie by sticking his head under a fence.

fiz have you got a start date for the dummy cycle?

I went to the clinic this morning, scan all fine, started injecting tonight! Grin Wasn't expecting that. Last time I had to go back for numerous scans and injections before my body was ready to start!
Don't have to go back until a week tomorrow, on the daily injections until then.
The nurse said in my situation she'd take the aspirin, so I need to go and pick some up. We were still dithering, but that made up my mind.

OP posts:
FizzyFeet · 14/01/2015 21:08

IVF provision makes me gnash my teeth in rage. So unfair that the different CCGs have different policies. Round these parts it's one funded round up to age 35, have to be trying 3 years or have other provable cause of infertility. And watch out - if you go private to speed things up, you might forfeit your free round - this is the case in my CCG. Sigh. Despite the rant, i do feel very lucky that we are eligible for a round - and that it's still covered by the NHS even though it's been going on for 14 months!
Rang the clinic today to book scans for my mock cycle. Beginning to get real again now. Also more pg announcements - two lesbian friends expecting in July. I did do an eye roll about the fact that two women have got pregnant easier than me and GFBW!

fab how are you feeling with the downregging?

barking hope you are feeling a bit brighter about things today.

Blue2014 · 14/01/2015 16:39

Hi Hags,
Just about keeping up! I won't always be this lame - promise!

Hope rainy cat and all other fur babies are doing well. And hi to ickle buglet

I've no idea what our local provision is for IVF. Had a spaff test booked to get us there but Mr Blue (he needs a better name than this, help me out with it hags??) had to cancel due to work pressures (which honestly are taking us both under at the moment) so we are nowhere near the nhs route. However, because work almost drowns us it does mean we can afford to go private so I'm planning on going that first. Went to open day at the clinic yesterday and they will,in some circumstances, treat until you are 50 (and he is "significantly older than 50 but 90 years old might be pushing it a bit") so 14 years left to go! Wink

Fish slaps and toe holds for all nearer to that end point that me Smile

EricaJ · 14/01/2015 10:48

God, the 35 age limit is pretty scary.

I mean, we've started TTC when I was 30.5 and got pregnant pretty much straight away. After I mc-d we gave it another year (standard), had a cp, gave it 6 more months before starting the tests and those plus clomid/IUI/lap/diffage/MC/lap again has taken another whole year.

All this takes us to now, a year from turning 35. I mean, most doctors tend to try other methods before going straight to IVF but now i feels like we may have been wasting our time and we should have gone down that road a while ago.

And how long do you have to be trying for to be considered? Because we started in the autumn of 2011 but my second mc was only 6 months ago?

Argh.

Fabuluce · 14/01/2015 08:53

Good news on the ivf clinic - 2 full and 2 frozen is brilliant! My area didn't even give me a sniff at that - they only provide it up to your 35th birthday. Seems insane doesn't it. Given that the average age of first births is getting older and older - seems like a cunning plan to say oh yes we support people with fertility issues....but sod the NICE guidelines, we're going to cover a smaller and smaller section of the population and fork out less and less. mwahahahahaaa. At least the changed the younger age limit - it used to be only available to women who were 31-35 and had been trying for 2 years! I know of a poor woman who got married young (20) and couldn't get pregnant. She couldn't afford to go private so she and her husband had to wait until they were 31 before getting ivf, at which point it was too late and her AMH was virtually non existent. So terribly sad.

Ah gorgeous Buglet - unsurprisingly sounding like her mumGrin