Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

The BESH are powering ahead on a gin and prosecco fuelled hover board, in the general direction of 2030

995 replies

barkingtreefrog · 12/12/2014 21:42

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).Â

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

  1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

  2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

  3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
    a) weewee
    b) poopoo
    c) foofoo
    d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

  4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
    a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
    b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

  5. Is R2D2:
    a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
    b) the source of all evil.

  6. Number of pets?

  7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

  8. Lesbian crush?

  9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
    a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
    b) Over 100 quid
    c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

  10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

  11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

OP posts:
Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 24/01/2015 07:01

Small update. He's now apologised and said he was being selfish. When I asked him why he didn't want to come in the first place he said he thought he'd just be standing around. Well yes. By the same token, when he does his ironman, I'd just be standing around if I went with him... Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 24/01/2015 06:44

fab I love it! If it was IVF I'd be insisting. I think sometimes he just doesn't realise what it's like. He had a late start on weds due to snow so I told him he could come to the scan with me. When we got there I was very chatty with the nurse, feeling quite relaxed, and laughed when he offered to hold my hand - how many of these things have I done now?! He didn't seem to understand that I wanted him there in case it was bad news - no follies, too many follies, etc. I wasn't expecting bad news as I was trying to be positive so I didn't need to squeeze his hand all the way through the scan like the scans I've had after a bfp and bleeding. He felt a bit redundant, like he wasn't needed. But he might have been...
The same for this bit. They're just squirting the stuff up me, why does he need to be there? Well, for me it's quite an emotional moment! Plus, last time I cried in pain as the thing they use to wedge you open (words not working this morning) was incredibly painful. They ended up taking out the metal one and using a plastic one instead to make it slightly more bearable.
Anyway, he's coming.
But it is frustrating. I wanted him to want to be there. But then I sound like some stupid female playing games. Him saying 'do you want me there' and me saying 'not unless you want to be' which is clearly not the case as otherwise he wouldn't be asking if I wanted him there. His initial reaction when I asked if he wanted to be there at the possible conception of his child (I actually put it like that) was to laugh and offer the taxi, so he's clearly only coming because he thinks he should after I brought it up last night.
It's just semantics, I know, but grr. The way he's now giving up his run to be the dutiful husband really rankles!!! Angry Try fucking injecting yourself! And going to the hospital 4 days in a row!!! And having to give up all alcohol and exercise (well, the kind I like to do) which basically strips you of all your fun, any ability to pursue a goal and your usual social life in one go totally worth it if works, but an additional slap I. the face if it doesn't
And relax..... Just woken up from a dream in which he had 'forgotten' to go for his sperm sample at 8 and I was still lying there in hospital waiting for treatment unaware of the reason for the delay.... And now I'm awake because he's snoring!!

OP posts:
Fabuluce · 23/01/2015 23:45

Sorry, I hope you don't think that was an arsey message - I'm just frustrated on your behalf lovely. Have the very necessary carpsucker of calm and I'll slap myself with one too whilst I'm here ;)

Fabuluce · 23/01/2015 23:37

Good god Barking, TWH doesn't get an option - he's there for egg collection and transfer. No argument, no discussion he just is. I would go fucking mental (and I don't often do fucking mental) if he wasn't. He seriously thinks going for a run is more important?? WTAF? This is the potential start of the rest of your lives - time to get involved - you're doing it together!!

Too strong?? ??blame it on the hormones! But really Barking. I'm with you on this. He needs to get involved!

Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 23/01/2015 23:09

How frustrating for you and ROCH Chez, must be hard to perform under pressure. Donor sounds great though Grin
DCW has never admitted to an issue with providing his sample, which is good as he has to do it at the hospital at 8am! But he's ridiculously laid back about most areas of life. One of us has to be...
I'm having that awkward 'no one is going to win' type of discussion with him at the moment. I thought as the treatment was on a Saturday that he'd come with me to the hospital. You know, be there at the potential conception of his child and all that. Possibly just to want to be there to support me (I went on my own last time as he didn't want to take more time off work). But his mates are going for a run in the morning, and he's got time to do his bit and then get there in time for the run. He said he'd pay for a taxi to get me from the hospital to the train station as he wouldn't be able to give me a lift.
Now he's doing the 'do you want me there?' thing. Well, no, not unless you wanted to be there, which you clearly didn't. And he's now said he's coming and being a bloody martyr about it!! Grr.

OP posts:
cherrycoconut · 23/01/2015 22:32

Oh yeah and did I mention what pure genius is Pregnant Women are Smug? Laughed my arse off, thanks for the arfs Barking.

cherrycoconut · 23/01/2015 22:29

I do foray over there now and again Fab just to check in on the old crew. Only MissH and Cwordy left to lay and then a whole lot of tumbleweed while we wait to get out wins. I tell you it's high time for some BESH BFPs.

Lovely lining Fiz, whoop for the start of stimms Fab, COO to yoouu! Yay for lovely nurses Barking and for shoehorning everything in, including packing a sneaky one for max effect. Good effort lady!

We were back in clinic this morning too, complete with awkward waiting room shananigans. Bad news ROCH has really got the heebies over producing the goods. He managed it at home, just, with much stressing, only for most of it to land up on the carpet instead of in the pot. Shock needless to say it wasn't accepted. Bad times. Third time lucky hopefully and we'll be freezing some of that for luck.

Still, we've gone through our protocol, signed our donor acceptance and heard what an amazing, lovely lady she is, and super intelligent and slim. All of which is reassuring and heartwarming to hear and makes it feel even more right.

So, deciding to stick to this immune diet shiz is easy when I want to make these baybees so much and win our boy girl IVFTWINZ innit. PMA right Fab? Does the immune book you recommended have changes you can make yourself or is it all technical stuff?

Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 23/01/2015 19:39

Oh, and yes, Fab, we managed to get some in the bag waiting... [wink That was Weds night so Sat is the optimum 3 days later for the best quality swimmers Grin . We'll probably do a top up on Sunday just in case... That should cover all bases!

Trigger shot done. Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 23/01/2015 19:33

fizz Excellent news on the lining, have a cabili of congratulations! Grin Will you be all go next cycle?

Fab COO!!!!!! Have an eagle ray of encouragement.

coop I'm halfway through my second round of iui.

It's all go here! The lovely, lovely nurses have squeezed me in first thing tomorrow morning so I can still make it to Manchester in time to take my sister to Strictly Come Dancing!!
DCW will go in at 8 to leave his deposit, and I'm in at 10.15 Grin . I'll then get a taxi to the train station.

I'd like to say I can then get the train home again and chill out, but I'll be meeting DCW and driving over to a wedding reception. Won't know anyone but the bride. Only met the groom once. Not exactly where I want to be but feel obliged, especially as she texted this week to check I was still OK to come.... Confused

OP posts:
Fabuluce · 23/01/2015 18:42

Argh- jizz storage!!

Fabuluce · 23/01/2015 18:41

Thankfully my clinic isn't in a hospital so everyone is going through the same thing more or less - we are united in infertility! The only time I had to mix with the diffed was when I had my erpc so there was definitely a lot of jealousy and sadness as they wandered around blissfully ignorant of our sad story.

Love the song rain! I tittered my way through it and then hoped that if this cycle works out that I don't become one of the smug. Eek. 'My life had no meaning before I got pregnant' - grrrr instant rage!!!

All good with the scan so am starting stims this evening - woohoo! COW!! COO (come on ovaries!)!! Time to get strongly on that PMA wagon and concentrate. Oh and eat protein til it's coming out of my ears.

Mum's chest infection is on the mend but she isn't seemingly getting any better at the moment. PMA is not something she knows about. :(

Barking how'd it go? And did you manage to get any extra storage in there as you planned?? I couldn't remember what the deal was with sex pre egg collection so asked today. They said we were fine to do it but I'd probably want to stop by day 8 as it may start to become uncomfortable but well done to me for wanting to anyway! Told TWH I'd been given a gold star by the clinic and he should think himself lucky! In reality I just want to make sure he's got plenty of fresh swimmers ;)

cooperG · 23/01/2015 18:21

chez, I know nothing either, just finding it very strange that I've had a sore throat which has then faded away to nothing, at the same point of each cycle... I usually only get a sore throat at the start of a cold. Poor ROCH, hope he did ok (was it today? I can't go back a page on my phone without losing what I've written, sorry!)

How did the scan go fab? And how's your mum doing? Flowers
And thanks for the book recommendation, ordered it this morning.

What was your appointment for today barking? How did it go? I hate the fc waiting room with a passion, as soon as I get in there I get nervous and anxious and angry. Mainly angry. Angry

Hello (and lots of gin) to everyone (else)

FizzyFeet · 23/01/2015 09:55

Morning all, sorry I've been a bad BESH of late. Busy busy with work stuff.

barking hope scan goes well today and the timing works out. FC waiting rooms are indeed odd. I was in on weds for the mock cycle scan - another couple were there for what I assume was an early pg scan; they went off to a different part that I've never been in and I felt suddenly teary a the thought. Maybe one day I'll get to go to the bit where actually getting up the duff happens, instead of spending forever in limbo! BUT good news on the scan - lining has reached 6.5mm on day 12 which is the best ever measurement. Hurrah! The plan still is to do a nedicated cycle but hopefully without quite so much oestrogen this time.

Back later for proper catching up.

Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 23/01/2015 08:48

Hags, you have to watch this!!!

Pregnant Women are Smug by Garfunkel and Oates:

OP posts:
Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 23/01/2015 07:59

Sqqquuuuuueeeeeeee!!!!!!! A real life BESHlet!!!!!! Grin Go fankle !!!!

chez I am in awe of your ability to do that diet. Kudos to you.

coop sorry the droid got you. Sounds worth getting that book.

Fab everything crossed for your scan today, give us an update!! I don't stray into the PESH either, even for a peek, feels like forbidden territory. Didn't even go in after my last bfp, I don't think I'd ever feel properly pregnant until after 12 weeks.

I'm sat in the clinic again. Feel totally exhausted (cheated and drove here, I'm usually on the bike but couldn't face it this morning). I've seen two couples come in for theatre (they get sent to a separate waiting area and they're all carrying bags) and felt strangely emotional. Everything is so heavily invested, isn't it?

OP posts:
Fabuluce · 23/01/2015 05:35

Damn - forgot the nipple tassles - waving them now with gay abandon as TWH has woken me up with an elbow to the face!

Coop read Is My Body Baby Friendly for all immune ishoos. It's the business - everything you could ever want to know and more :)

Chez I'm very impressed with your will power at stopping all those lovely things. No cake for you then? That's my treat that I look forward to when I get out of egg collection - a nice slice of cake and a chai latte!

Well done on the fish choices Rain - you've upped the game!

TheRainDrops · 22/01/2015 23:17

argh, fank not dank!

TheRainDrops · 22/01/2015 23:17

and welcome back coop - no idea on immune ishoos I'm afraid, can your throat even be linked to your vag? learn something new every day!!
Have a 'keep the faith' koi for now chick

TheRainDrops · 22/01/2015 23:13

nipple tassels ahoy for fanklet!!! that is fantastic news, hopefully dank can stop by when she's able for a full update.

good luck for tomorrow fab - sending doreys of dormancy for a perfectly quiet womble.

good luck to you and ROCH too chez!!!

Fabuluce · 22/01/2015 23:04

Yay well done Fankle!! All sounds a bit scary though - EEEK! Who's left in the PESH now? Do you actually go into their gaff then Chez? I've always thought as I'm not a grad that I shouldn't venture in - not that I believe in fate bollox at all but you know...tempting fate...

Hey fuck it - go go go the cluster diff yeh!!!

I'm home for a few days whilst my other sis takes over on mum duty so I get to spend time with my lovely TWH again. I do miss him heaps when I'm away . Plus I have my downreg scan tomorrow - fingers crossed for a perfectly inactive womb and lovely thin lining so we can go go go!

cherrycoconut · 22/01/2015 22:50

Hang the cuntbunting hags, get out the nipple tassels! Happy news- Fankel has laid a blue one over on PESH fred. A scary exit job by all accounts that needed emergency sun roof but doing well. Flowers or maybe gin is more appropriate?!

Only two PESH remaining now Shock it goes without saying we'd all dearly love to get our win and skip over there to fill the dearth. Come on the Feb clusterdiff!

cherrycoconut · 22/01/2015 22:31

Coops!

Good to see you back 'ol mucker. Sorry about the cycle fail though. Have the cherub fish of comfort and a BESHly arm rub. I don't really know about the significance of sore throats at ovulation linked to immunology but it definitely sounds like a pattern appearing. I'm on day 6 of a no gluten, dairy, soy, corn diet to improve autoimmune response and although tis early days I have to say my big patch of ragey eczema feels less angry and I'm hoping it might be having an effect.

Stick at it. Calm is good even if it is a shock, I think we have to accept where we are right now and notice good things that happen amongst this shit.

cherrycoconut · 22/01/2015 22:22

Yo hags, sounds like I'm in good company in the brain fry department?! Barking I can't really help on the confuddlingness apart from to say yay for lovely nurses. I'd be the same as you though - 'don't compromise the treatment for my convenience, I'll move heaven and earth to have it as text book as possible thank you please'. Pensive people in FC waiting rooms never speak though hey? Weird! Erica, Barking, we need Merk out of CRESH for ov questions.

Fab you are so right, caring is such a vocation and those who do it well deserve our utmost respect and thanks. When my sis was ill the nurses who tended to her especially in her final days were incredible. Glad to hear your mum is in a good place and your sis has been getting some rest too. As for the high backed headstander, THAT is frigging awesome.

Thanks for asking Rain, ROCH has gone back into de Nile mode which is a bit frustrating. He is stressing about the jizzing in a pot action which has to happen tomorrow. We're back in clinic for sperm analysis, consent form signing and injection training. Also I got my blood results back for TSH yesterday; 2.89. Reading the consultant's letter this means they want me on thyroxine for this cycle as well. Confused

Arm rubs for you and the tearful RAF over Rainycat. Lovely vet, sob! Lob of fish that the referral comes through soon.

Peckers up BESH collective, we're so doing this thing.

cooperG · 22/01/2015 21:08

Evening hags, I'm back, for a while at least, to coincide with the arrival of the first droid of 2015, second clomid cycle failed. I feel spookily calm and something in me has concluded that this is over and it's never going to happen now. I'm scaring myself a bit to be honest, I don't know what's going on. I have also convinced myself that I have some kind of immune problem - I've checked FF and of the last 12 cycles I've had a sore throat for a couple of days around 10dpo, including last week.

Me, me, me. Confused How are my fellow BESH doing? Wine

Original poster
barkingtreefrog · 22/01/2015 15:42

Ooo, brain hurts!!! I stupidly made conversation with the nurse this morning, mentioning my possible Saturday plans. When I called for my results they said I should come in for another blood test tomorrow morning as I had a bit of leeway with my follicles only being 14/16, but she also said something about possibly squeezing me in Saturday morning and it all sounded like they were trying to make me ovulate at the most convenient time for me! Bless them, but this comes first, I want it at the best time to make it happen!!! Totally confused as last time I took the trigger shot 72 hours before, but for it to go ahead Saturday morning I'd need to take the trigger shot now. She said sometimes it doesn't need that long. Also, that I might be about to ovulate on my own and I wouldn't need it at all. This is mind boggling, on a normal cycle I wouldn't ovulate until very late, and last time there was no sign of me ovulating on my own. All very, very befuddling Confused Confused.

So, just retreating back into 'I don't know yet' rather than trying to make any sense of it, and waiting until tomorrow afternoon when I should find out what's happening....

Can't concentrate on work at all. Getting sod all done.

OP posts: