The BESH are powering ahead on a gin and prosecco fuelled hover board, in the general direction of 2030

Thanks (am, of course, totally stealing everyone else's knowledge gained from hard earned experience to plot my path)

Mr Blue in spaff clinic in 2 weeks. Annoying wipes out a chance of a natural go that months as I ov at the same time he has to save his stuff up ...

Fingers cross for the twinz win!

Sorry Hags, the app hates me. It's spent weeks booting me out (only from this fred, mind!) and last night deleted my very long response to everyone. So instead, just hi!

Barking, I know I should already know this but, what has made you take the iui route rather than ivf? (My local clinic seems very pro ivf for everything so just wonderin, if that's ok?) fingers crossed for some berries growing out of those sticky jam pips (you know what i mean, am trying to stick with the analogy)

Urrgggh Chez now you skilled at it - wanna do my tax returns too???

Today sounds like a much more reasonable Sunday for you Barking - enjoy

Well done on all your proactivity Cherry - it sounds like it's definitely the right thing for you and as you say it's good to be doing something that could actually make a difference. I've started on the protein shakes - sooo filling! I had one of them and one gluten free pancake and am full and feeling guilty I haven't had any veg - gah! Having roast dinner with the inlaws so will have to max out on the veg at their place instead.

I think OMGIVFTWINZ definitely count as a 2 for the BESH. Keep yer fingers crossed for me hags! We've had 3 put back in twice now because of my great age but they were at 3 days. We are pushing to get to blastocyst stage this time so it depends in what we have left and what quality but I'd say we'd go for 2 if we can. We're ok with twins - we don't know any different. Sage advice from those who have them say if you have twins first then that's all you know and coping is fine. If you have them 2nd or 3rd (eek as a friend did!) then it's way way harder. So we should be fine . Please please please.

A chill out sounds a good idea Barking, not surprised you're feeling shattered today after such a rollercoaster. Continued COW to you and COO's of the Scottish variety to Fab and Fiz!

I've just ordered a load more vits off tinterweb to support this upcoming cycle, Vit D and Calcium which the clinic have recommended (I normally take Calcium with Magneium and the nutritionist recommended one which also has l-theanine, taurine, glutamine, B vitamins, and vitamin C in it which is all great stuff to sooth immune ishoos) then probiotics for healthy hormones and guts and fish oil for the omega-ness.

Feeling good to be doing positive things towards this cycle and also relived to have submitted my tax return this morning too!

Ooh, identical twin girls Fab, it IS a sign, believing it can happen for us is a good start! We have already signed to say we'll have two put back if we can. Have you guys made any decisions? Apparently in 5 years the nurse has only had two incidences of putting two back and getting triplets because of an egg splitting...!

I didn't know that about vitamin c - interesting stuff. My aim is to get all my rda through my diet as much as I can. I used to take all sorts of vits and ended up feeling really rubbish as I was overdoing them and they all end up cancelling out the good effects so I cleared back and only took very specific vits for anything I felt I was lacking in (vit b at the time). It frustrates me now that I have to take a multivit as it's the only way I can get the right type of folic acid because of my bloomin MTHFR problem but I guess it's a means to an end. I'm rattling at the moment as I've got pregnacare Max with omega 3, dexamethasone, vit d and aspirin every morning. All going towards a good cause though .

Barking how are you feeling today? Chill day planned??

I had a dream last night that I had identical twin girls. This is the first time I've ever dreamt that I actually had a baby. Is this A SIGN?? Lol!

How frustrating that ROCH doesn't understand. TWH can be a bit like that too - it's not that he doesn't want to be supportive it's just that he thinks the feeding is important and wants to give me yummy stuff rather than the stuff I've decided is healthy. It's taken him a while to catch up! He is now obsessed with veg which is wonderful and I feel quite proud of that - it was quite a fight to get there but now he shouts at the telly when adverts don't show enough veg on a plate . Keep going with him Chez - he'll get there! In the meantime however you may need to be head chef in order to encourage it

Still have a banging head - have cracked open an old jar of tiger balm to rub on my temples and back of head and that seems to be softening it a bit but it's still growling in the background. Grrr back.

Soz for the rambling post last night - think the drucks may be taking a hold!

Your tea sounds awesome Fab, even the modified version! Mmm! Love a good hearty casserole. ROCH doesn't get my diet needs at all, hence I seem to be doing all the cooking at the moment which is a bit of a ball ache. I got home on Thurs and he had helpfully bought a fresh pasta and sauce for tea. Quite which bit of the gluten laden pasta and dairy rich marscapone tomato sauce he thought might be suitable I'm not so sure! Still, he is eating up the healthy whole food options very happily and I'm hoping they will have a knock on impact on his swimmers too.

Hope the headache has shifted?

Barking I hope you managed an enjoyable rest of day yesterday without giving yourself too much of a hard time. Love the jam sandwich analogy Fiz! No other fucker TTC rests after every sechsing just incase, I'm certain that if its gonna work, it will work regardless of the jiggling you gave it. now try to chill and help those cortisol levels down to make sure they're not blocking the receptors of your important baby making hormones. And have an arm rub and the squid of solace from me. It will all be OK what ever the outcome.

I'm reading a book about female hormones at the moment, sooo interesting and it details vitamin C as having a positive impact on short luteal phase as it raises progesterone levels at doses of 750mg/day. You may already be familiar with this but thought I'd pass it on just incase.

Man I have the most knacking headache. Booo :(

At last he sees the light!! What Chez said! Total bums that you weren't able to sit and chill out but that's not your way normally and at least doing all these other things will have (a teeny bit anyway) taken your mind of things. At least they will when you finally get there - sounds like a hideous nightmare with all those changes! Our gynae says the same thing re the sandwich - basically once stuff is past that cervix barrier ain't nothing coming back through that bad boy! Plus swimmers go up - it's their thing - they know what to do :)

The scratch timin sounds about right to me Chez and I don't think there's any need for you to do the whey thing as you're skipping the egg growing section - it's all about being healthy before and after for you (think yourself lucky you don't have to gobble down all this protein - it's hard work! I'm just cooking a venison stew and shall be serving it with kale. How's that for super healthy? We've got onions, celery, and sweet potatoes in the stew - should be carrots and swede instead of the sweet potato but someone (not naming any names) ate them during the week and didn't tell me!! Nom!

barking! You are not to think like this. For a start, there's no reason to think it won't work! Even if it doesn't, there is NO way you are allowed to blame yourself for anything! I once read that a GP likened iui/ ivf/ implantation generally to being like a raspberry pip in a jam sandwich. Even British trains wouldn't have been able to shake the swimmers out! Hope you have a good time with your sis this afternoon and are able to have fun this eve too.

cherry sorry things are tough for you and ROCH at the moment. You will get through it. And yay for tx soon! Only a matter of weeks now. Going for a scratch in the run up to tx sounds right - will get your womble nice and receptive.

fab COO! COW!

Er no, not at all relaxing Barking but I'm sure it'll be fine nonetheless if you can take care to give it some deep breaths along the way and keep yourself in the moment rather than stressing over the outcome. Ha ha, way easier said than done. More than anything try to enjoy it, everything crossed for you!

I'm off out, giving up in disgust on my stupid tax return which thinks I owe a ridiculous amount of money - especially given the lowly income I get from self employed stuff and the impressive amount of expenses I managed to file for last year. Gutting! Will need to go back over that with a fine tooth comb later. Joy.

Enjoy your day in the big smoke Rain.

Good! Sometimes I think our men folk get blasé about things because they live with such independent, strong willed women. What's your plan for the rest of the day Barking?

Just popping by to wish barking good luck - we're off on a rare day out in London (as I am there every bloody day for work I generally try to avoid it like the plague at weekends but RAF talks me into it every now and then).
Will be back later for a progress report!

Thanks Fab, that's really helpful. If it won't change things this time as our protocol is set then I probs won't buy the book yet! My thinking is the diet won't do any harm and it could make a big difference - both at cellular level and to my PMA like I'm able to do something that might help. not that I'm a control freak obvs

Good luck with the whey protein, I've also thought about protein sup but I wouldn't know where to start on getting a good quality one. No eggs to produce at least.

Jury is out on exactly when. Clinic reckon heading for TX end of Feb, looking more like early March to me with when they want me to be on norehisterone, go for scratch etc. but I was told firmly to let them worry about that yesterday when I queried it I Repeat again, I'm really not a control freak. I just need to be able to clear the work diary.

It looks like scratch will be done in the final run up to TX, does this sound right? I'm trying hard to just go with it.

Chez the immune book was mainly about the technical stuff - doing the intralipids, clexane, aspirin, prednisolone etc. it's been a while since I read it (and it's currently in the garage in storage so I can't check it I'm afraid grrrr) but I don't remember if they had any blurb about food immune ishoos. Anyone who ever watched the food doctor prog that was on the telly for a while can clearly see the impact food can have on the body though. I had quite an extensive chat with my nutritionist though and we decided to keep a balanced nutritious diet was the important thing for me rather than cutting anything out at this stage as I haven't got any obvious signs of ishoos eith any of those foods. I guess only time will tell on that one. I've got my whey protein arriving today so it's time to start proteining up. Yuck - I really don't like eating that much - I'm happiest with a little protein and a lot of veg but needs must! PMA is definitely the way forward now :)

Good news on your donor - how exciting!! So when will you get to go??

There's a big difference between dutiful husband and caring, thoughtful supportive husband who is responsive to your needs Barking. I get it and while it's only done out of boy logic, not of malice it's still frustrating. Still, the day is nigh! Gob fishes of good luck to you this morning and for a sticky one!

Fab it's OK, there are gluten, dairy etc. free puddings so all is not lost!

Phew! Men and their thoughts are a completely different beast to women and our thoughts and it can just get bloody confusing. I've just talked this through with TWH as I thought he might provide some interesting insight and he reminded me that he just doesn't do the 'I want you to want this' thing - it instantly gets his goat. So if I want him to do something with me I have to say ' I want you to do this'. I don't even need to follow it up with 'I need you to do this' although sometimes I do and realise we're getting into dangerous territory! It was a hard thing to learn - I've spent my life being all about the subtlety, reading the subtext etc and it was really hard to stop all that and say it like it is but he just doesn't understand it otherwise and this way is so much less stressful! If I say I want him to do something (and I'm not including everyday stuff in this - it rarely works with laundry for example!) then he instantly knows it's important to me. If it's important to me, then by inference it's important to him which then pushes it into the category of him doing something because he wants to do it. If that makes sense??