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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

What essential advice would you give to a complete TTC newbie?

61 replies

NoveltySlippers · 02/12/2014 21:48

Hi all

I just came off the pill yesterday after being on it for a Very Long Time. I'm now in a place where I can start TTC and I'm feeling overwhelmed by this new 'world', and don't know where to start!

I'm finding my way round the acronyms by googling but there are things that I keep seeing that I didn't even think about / wasn't really aware of before (eg. no soft cheese!).

What do you think are the key things that someone who's just starting TTC should know?

eg. I know I should take vitamins, but not sure what kind.

I've just had to google OPKs to find out what that means, so that's the kind of knowledge level I'm at now!

N.B. I'm in my mid to late 30s so time is of the essence - I need to get with the programme! (You may wonder how I got to this age without knowing all this stuff, and I'm asking myself the same question! Hmm)

OP posts:
mameulah · 02/12/2014 23:56

Use preseed, order from amazon!

10000Fireflies · 02/12/2014 23:47

It shouldn't be that bad... Maybe 3 or 4 times a cycle... Not that I have the stamina or inclination these days, but I do have the excuse of a lively toddler and am a decrepit 40 something.

Original poster
NoveltySlippers · 02/12/2014 23:36

Thank you fireflies - every other day sounds tiring (my younger self would mock me for even thinking that). Maybe the JS thread could help with that!

OP posts:
Original poster
NoveltySlippers · 02/12/2014 23:34

No worries - will try the JS thread, and obvs if things take a while (likely given my stats) will be seeing you soon!

OP posts:
10000Fireflies · 02/12/2014 23:33

You ovulate around 12 days before your period. Have sex every other day in the lead up to ovulation, starting as soon as you feel you can after AF. Good luck!

Pipbin · 02/12/2014 23:29

Shit- Sorry novelty, I forgot about that.
Thing is that a couple of years ago we had a couple of people join who were 'insterdiffers' they started trying and got updiffed within about 2 months.
Those of us who had been there for years got grumpy.
Join us anyway if you like. Or maybe the just shagging thread might be better as we are all talk of IVF and stuff. Best not to think about things like that yet.

Original poster
NoveltySlippers · 02/12/2014 23:15

Pipbin - while I'm deffo an elderberry pavlova your strict inclusion criteria says must have been TTC for 12 months plus and I'm only on day 2.

Sad face

OP posts:
Original poster
NoveltySlippers · 02/12/2014 23:08

Ha - thanks Pipbin - I am definitely an elderberry pavlova!

Will deffo see you on the thread!

OP posts:
Pipbin · 02/12/2014 22:56

Don't let it take over your life. It can be completely all consuming.
I would use something like fertility friend to chart your AFs.

Being over 35, give it 6 months then see your GP if you don't get anywhere. It seems like a short time but it gets the wheels in motion and means that if you need help you'll have less time to wait.

I'm 39 now and spent 4 years TTCing. I have just had my final round of IVF and I'm so glad I went to the GP after 6 months.

Join us on the Elderberry Pavlova Thread (the name comes from elderly primigravida which it the term for a woman over 34 pregnant for the first time). There are a lot of old hand there full of good advice. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2228595-Roll-up-Roll-up-Mount-those-uni-cycles-and-shake-those-pom-poms-The-Elderberry-Pavlovas-are-drumming-away-in-the-hope-of-a-Christmas-clusterdiff-Thread-24?

Don't worry about giving up drink, cheese and all that stuff, the novelty will soon wear off.

Original poster
NoveltySlippers · 02/12/2014 22:47

NewEra - thank you!

I'm going to have to save that advice. I absolutely had no idea about any of that and would've been unlikely to discover it myself being supremely unobservant.

Sadly your description is reminding me of things I kind of remember noticing before my rampant decade and a half long pill consumption. Hope it comes back!

OP posts:
Original poster
NoveltySlippers · 02/12/2014 22:39

Kez - are apps 'banned' on the JS thread?

OP posts:
Original poster
NoveltySlippers · 02/12/2014 22:39

(Emoticon overload)

OP posts:
NewEraNewMindset · 02/12/2014 22:39

Novelty your cervical mucus tends to be sticky and white after your period (non fertile) then you will notice it getting more copious and wet (fertile), hopefully it will then become slippery and shiny and you'll notice it on your tissue after you've had a wee (very fertile). This is because oestrogen is rising and it's a good sign. After ovulation you start to see white discharge again (non fertile). This normally dries up in the last week before your period arrives. This information alone is enough to get you through without the need for opks.

Original poster
NoveltySlippers · 02/12/2014 22:38

Thank you Patience Flowers

And steppemum that is a bloody good point! Smile (I have a friend whose bday is 25th Dec!)

Babyfed and Aquilla - I think I will have a go at the apps at least to get started - I haven't had a natural period since, erm, Tony Blair was in his first term of office, so I really have no bloomin idea what my usual cycle looks like. Confused

OP posts:
kezaroo · 02/12/2014 22:34

Yes do come over to JS thread!

I do have to agree with cava.... I wish I hadn't read too much when I came off the pill. Now I'm listening / watching for my body signalling what turns out to be incorrect pregnancy symptoms.

Aquilla · 02/12/2014 22:29

The app is good - I used Women's Log (free basic version) and by golly it was spot on the money for both my pregnancies.
Don't worry about any of the restrictions until you're actually pregnant though. You want to enjoy your last child free Christmas festivities!

Original poster
NoveltySlippers · 02/12/2014 22:28

Honeysuckle - well that's a good name for a thread - I'll check it out!

NewEra - thanks so much - I totally needed cervical mucus and its significance explained to me. I had no idea about any of that! was I not paying ANY attention during Biology GCSE?

Spaniel - good job re the cheese - I live in a food desert so it's usually tasteless shrink wrapped supermarket fodder for me anyhoo.

Cava - will....try Hmm

OP posts:
babyfedleaning · 02/12/2014 22:27

Don't 'decide' you must be infertile if nothing happens for several months. It takes a while for your cycle to get into a normal pattern.

I agree with NewEra though - it can be helpful to discover when you ovulate - turned out mine was day 9 and I was missing my fertile window repeatedly because I assumed it was between days 12-16. And if you do want to do charting using your temperature Fertility Friend is a good free website you can use if you are obsessive interested in the mechanics of it like me. Oh and OPKs never ever worked for me which also contributed to me thinking I was infertile so use with care.

steppemum · 02/12/2014 22:24

I have 2 kids birthdays close to Christmas. It is rubbish. If I did it all again I would be abstaining between February and April!!

Beansprout30 · 02/12/2014 22:24

Dont expect it to happen straight away like I naively thought (you might be lucky though)

patienceisvirtuous · 02/12/2014 22:24

Take some pre preg vits. Order some cheapy opks. Track your cycle with a pg app on your mobile. Have loads of sex around ur fertile time.

Worked for me. Fell pg v quickly both times. I am your age. It may have been good luck but it can't harm your chances!!

Good luck x

cavamonster · 02/12/2014 22:19

My advice is to step away from seeking advice...it can be a very long road and if on day one your over thinking it, it'll feel even longer!

With age and contraception history it could be 6-12months - relax, take folic acid / vit D and have sex every other day for now...

NewEraNewMindset · 02/12/2014 22:18

My GPs advice was sex every third day across the month. That's fine if you and your partner like to have lots of sex. If you don't you could end up 'burning out' and getting angsty with each other.

Opks will allow you to know when your fertile window is, so don't discount them. Most people assume they ovulate in day 14 of a standard 28 day cycle but lots ignorable don't have a standard 28 day cycle so they might ovulate as late as day 19 or as early as day 10.

My advice would be to start off by having regular sex, particularly around the middle if your cycle and look out for signs if ovulation which is slippery cervical mucus which has an egg white appearance about it. When your cervical mucus turns thick and white then you have ovulated.

honeysucklejasmine · 02/12/2014 22:17

*NoveltySlippers" it sounds like you need to come and join the "Just Shagging" thread with Kez and me. (And loads others.) You'll learn a lot but the basic idea is shag! Lots!

Join Us!

Spanielpuppy · 02/12/2014 22:16

Sorry should say only if you buy from real deli or farm shop that they are normally unpasteurised.