Immune/natural killer cell treatment when TTC or pregnant (aka the 14th pred thread)

I agree Rosa, I have really struggled to think about much else and make any sort of conversation and do feel like I may be a bit depressed. My rational brain tells me it's the grief, hormones and steroids and I will be fine in a few weeks and the pain will get better. But I can see how it can happen to people.

Re: pred I was thinking only the other day (for when we ttc) that I would maybe take something like 10mg pred until bfp and then full dose after as I worry about the long term effect of all these meds on our systems.

I second that! Spa weekends should be mandatory!

I know exactly what you mean Dildoos. I will be coming home from hols in a few days and everyone will ask me how it was and I will put on my best enthusiastic voice to say it was amazing, relaxing, fun etc when in reality I really could do with a bit more time and sleep to process our loss (I am having a great time but it has been overshadowed somewhat). Like you said it seems acceptable to talk about losing a loved one (part of the process) but seems taboo when it's about a baby and hopes and dreams you may have had. I also find sometimes when I have brought it up some people feel uncomfortable with it and don't really want to talk and then I feel worse (and guilty for making them feel awkward) so I tend not to bother. ;(

It's so hard but you have us here on the board who are always here to listen! I do not know how I would be coping without you lovely lot!! Xx

Dildoos - I totally relate to everything you wrote. It's just the hardest thing. I can see how some people sink into depression and take years to recover. I feel guilty moving on in some way .. But eventually it's too painful and I realise I'm compromising my future and the life of a future baby etc.
Trying - been thinking a lot about pred. I might try hanging the pred this month and take a reduced dose - better than nothing but hopefully kinder to body and mind if not successful. Thoughts??
Hi everyone else - thank god it's Fri tomorrow x

I totally agree dildoos. Noone else understands the loss.

I said to DH yest that I think u become a parent as soon as u see those 2 lines on a hpt. U plan, u change ur whole life, wot u eat, wot u drink etc. and then for it to go is devastating. It's truely so so sad.
I've found people around me think I should be ok and normal again.
Hope ur ok, u seem v thoughtful about it all....

The sad thing about it is I never reLly heard of miscarriages until I has one then you hear of lots and lots of them. They are actually the most hideous situations to go through as your on the highest high so the bump seems so low! Of that makes sense, when there is a bereavement in your life your allowed to openly grieve and feel sad and talk about that person, with a miscarriage I find you can only talk to your dp as they are going through it and every other person didn't grow to love and feel the wa you feel about your tiny seedling , share the hopes and dreams you have for them so it's a lonely loss and that's the hardest part?
Sorry I really feel sad about them xx

i agree dildoos! i think unless u have been through it u can't understand how devastating it is. i never did.

hope u have a few more days away determined. i hope ur DH is sending lots of hugs and kisses ur way.

its a long though road we are on. so not fair! but hopefully worth it in end

That is a double phew!
I think we should as part of a miscarriage after care be sent to spa for a weekend to help with relaxation x

Getting there thanks Dildoos! Sugar and booze overload is numbing the pain ;)

Deffo double phew trying...now that would have taken some special skills!! X

I don't work with preg ladies phew!! I'm in a totally unrelated field phew again!

Enjoy determind, love a bit of Choc wine overload hope your doing ok.
Tryig how the heck do you deal with the copious amounts of pregnant ladies that must come through your doors? Well done for staying sane ! X

Go for it. That's exactly what u need and have some glasses of vino on me! C

Hi ladies

Just wanted to check in and say hi and thanks for your lovely words, love, e-hugs and support. It really means a lot...more than you could ever know so thank you so much ;)

Have to admit I did have a few cheeky glasses last night and am in the process of Od'ing on chocolate, French bread and more wine later!! (So much for a low alcohol, low gi gluten free diet eh!?).

Lots of virtual hugs back and good luck whatever CD you are on

?Xxx

I used to find work a distraction but after each miscarriage I found work unsupportive of my time Off and just gave me a added headache. I did think i would get preg quickly so i could relax during my preg rather than running around! I'm a doctor and found my mind wandering wasn't great for my job. I've found part time Is letting me have some time to do fun things at home and my stress levels are def lower....
that's great u find work a distraction!

Nearly weekend, another week and hopefully a week closer to our babies

Nearly time for ur moon face to go hope! Yay! So pleased for u :)

Trying I think today's stresses are so high at work full time and then all the stresses team nk cells go through defo part time was really good move. Fx for your pred month! I hope IVF doesn't have to be your next step and this month works for you both x

Hi rosa. I'm not sure what I think about SO. As I'm ovulating (my day 21 bloods show I am) so not sure why releasing another 2 eggs would help really? So I'm not sure if I would go down that route until I've had a hsg and sperm test and even then I need to read into it and get a lot of advice about it first...I'm convinced my tubes are blocked as I had 3 weeks of retained products on both of the last miscarriages. I've also had 3 quick pregnancies and now it's stopped. It makes me feel something has changed....I took the pred as prescribed for 3 months and haven't had them for last 3 so i doubt it's the pred stopping me....

Who knows!

I'm going to have pred this month for 6/7 days only and then not taken it ever again unless I get a bfp

I have to admit I've looked into IVF as I do feel I'm headed that way.

Work does make this difficult, I had a full on job too but after last miscarriage went part time (went down soooooo badly at work but I couldn't care less!)

Determined I'm gutted for you - big hug. We all know the feeling.. Surely this time it will work, this time I deserve it to work, or at least it should be good odds by now? I'm sure as everyone has said though it will- we can't lose hope as we've seen, those who persevere seem to get lucky .. We just don't know when but must keep hoping it's soon. It's just not fair though is it. I'm also on the complex programme so hope our levels aren't too high or something - maybe worth asking if would be helpful to take intralipid infusions every month.. Expensive though. It's always possible it was just an unlucky one.
Hope- it's great you're able to give us all hope and so happy for you you're passing some major milestones now. I've not done the herbs but maybe I should. I'm weighing up doing SO now though and not sure how much I can juggle! Do you know anyone who can do the scan in Edinburgh as Edinburgh Clinic and Spire can't :-/ Hoping accu helps. She's v nice and seems good. The sessions are much shorter than others I've had though but might not be a big deal.
Trying - I'm also wary of the pred and been avoiding but pretty sure I shouldn't be. It's partly Hope's success that made me think it might be ok (but she doesn't have the same NK issues) and also I am worried about my sanity.. Have a full on job too :-/ Nobody can tell you the answer but Mr S is best qualified to advise. Would you think about SO?
Hi everybody else - every month is a new month and a fresh start :) x

My feelings exactly hope. I welled up a bit when I read ur post. I know we haven't met but I genuinely felt that sadness for u. Prob because I can imagine how u must be feeling and the desperation your having. We have all been there in our own way

Hope ur pissed and enjoying time with DH!!! It will happen for u, just going to be a long and bumpy journey.

Determined - so so sorry, life can be so unfair sometimes . Virtual hugs.

I am so so sorry Determined. That is just the worst news. I was so hoping that things would work out for you this time. I don't understand why life has to be so cruel. I got your message when I was in the car and I had to pull over for a second to catch my breath. I just think we all want it to work out for each other so much. Now is the time for wine and chocolate and other nice things but I really know that you will get there. I found SueMays' story so inspirational earlier on and hopefully that helped you too. In the meantime I'm sending you the biggest hug in the world.
Hope everyone else is doing ok. Trying, I just know you will get pregnant soon. Not sure about the pred. It never sat easy with me taking it from ovulation but it is hard to know if it causes a problem getting pregnant or not. So many people have success taking it. I think part of my problem was that so much had become about trying for a baby in my life and the pred made that worse somehow. On the other hand, I don't have NK cells and I had reason to think if I was cutting out gluten then that might be enough for a pregnancy to take hold. It is so hard! In some ways I worried about the aspirin stopping me get pregnant more. Aarg, why are there so many difficult decisions on top of everything else! Xx

I just feel so sad when I hear my unseen friends have had such a rubbish time, it makes me feel so sad. I guess when you can relate to the pain and grieving of our journeys it just makes you feel sad for each other. I hope you are looking after you and DH is talking about his loss too. I often find a good rom com chocolate and a cheeky wine helps a little with loads of cuddles for each other xx

Thank you so so much! That's very kind xxx

Determind- so sorry for yours and DH loss. No words can make you feel better right now, please take comfort in that we are here to help you through next part of your journey. Take care of yourself. Xx

Yes! Have a lot of drinks! Just forget it all and then take a break and recharge. Ur still young and have many years for it to eventually work out. It's just so so hard. My DH is positive too-not sure why! I'm terrified of getting preg again and it failing, but also want to be preg again. Either way it's stressful and horrid.

Hopefully in a few years time we will be there. Just keep rem those positive stories.