Just gone ballistic at DP, is there no chance this month or have I over reacted?

Hi OP

Well done for taking everybody's advice on board.

I honestly don't remember the details now. I just remember that we didn't do it at what I thought (in my stressed out TTC state) was the right time.

Good luck

MN at its helpful best .

There's only one thing you can be sure about with TTC, OP: it will surprise you!

A friend of mine had her DC due in late Oct; DC arrived on August 31st, so both prem and the youngest in the year. Another friend conceived DC1 first try but took 18 months with DC2.

I am currently dithering about applying for an awesome job because we've already delayed TTC for my career, but I worry about losing mat pay. Realistically I know it could take forever!

Good luck

Nice post 52. It's nice when someone asks for advice and then listens to it.

God, that sounds bloody patronising, sorry. It's just refreshing to see someone admit their shortcomings in such an open and honest way.

I wish you much fun conceiving dc2.

If it's any comfort, we conceived dd2 in a month when my calculations suggested no chance. I was pissed off with dh about missing the 'right' time too. I was just as unreasonable as you are

DC2 will be a totally different child to DC1 (obviously!) there's no point at all stressing about the possibility that he/she will be bored in nursery in 4 years time.

Good luck!

TTC is really stressful, but it's nuts to get like that after only 3 months! Chill out

DH and I have been ttc for 10 years.

As a long term ttc-er, I'd suggest that you do not try to plan around possible dates of birth. There are so many variables, babies born very early or late, miscarriages. You just can't plan like that. If however I were planning I'd aim for a baby born between November and March. Unlikely to be the youngest in the year, and even if prem is likely to be in the same year. And you don't have to be heavily pg in summer. A baby due in September that comes early in August / July will have some problems from being both prem and from being young in the year.

Just do it on Saturday morning instead?!

Wow. Please just relax. Besides - babies can come late or early so you can never guarantee when.

Nothing really to add that hasn't already been said other than my attitude is completely the opposite to yours in that I would always be aim for a Sept/ autumn baby having seen so many August born children struggle at school.

My friends dd is August born and starts secondary next Sept she looks tiny compared to her peers, is also emotionally immature and it has done her confidence no favours at all.

Your dd now Op may have struggled with having an additional year at nursery but in the long run I think you will find it will work to her advantage. Also agree that the nursery sounds a bit rubbish if they just repeated everything

I can remember not wanting a Christmas baby because my mum's birthday is on Christmas day and she hates it. so while we started ttc in the February we didn't ttc the next month to avoid that happening. So imagine how surprised I was when we came round to the next February and I still wasn't pregnant. As it happened I conceived that month and ds was born in November.

When we started ttc for baby no.2 I again avoided Christmas baby conception for the first year, but after a year I figured it wouldn't happen anyway so didn't bother avoiding.

It's very rare to be able to plan your babies to the exact time you want them because nature just doesn't work like that.

Both mine were in private nursery. They are both March born so of course I don't have the same experience, but there was no repeating of things. That sounds like a poor nursery to me.

I think wanting an Aug baby rather than Sept baby to save on nursery fees is a shame, though I do accept that fees are a lot. Remember you'll get 15 free hours a week, so unless you and your partner both work full time the cost will go down hugely the older they get.

good god. you do realise op that stressing this much about ttc can actually delay ovulation, don't you? and then your period will be late leading you to think you're pregnant when actually you've stressed yourself out so much about it that you've either ovulated late or perhaps not at all.

This level of obsession over ttc to conceive the baby at exactly the right time to ensure a nursery/school place at the right time really isn't healthy. at all.

If you're meant to get pregnant then you will, when the time is right. If you're not pregnant within a year go and get some help but in the meantime it's normal to ttc for up to a year. If you carry on like this the next year is going to be a living hell for your dp and you'll be lucky if he sticks around for the foreseeable if you carry on like that.

Sorry, I have little sympathy for someone who is this stressed after only three months ttc and who thinks that having a baby can be done on a schedule - it can't.

PS: I ttc unsuccessfully for six years and even then I managed not to hold my then h responsible if we didn't dtd on my preferred schedule. Acting like that helps no-one, least of all the process to get pregnant.

The extra nursery fees and being bored in nursery can be a problem but there is loads of evidence that long term, September born children, do far better than summer babies. Being the oldest in class, and therefore more capable at 4/5 (when being a year older is a lot) can affect their confidence for life.

There is no perfect age gap. You should find a better nursery. No child should be bored regardless of when they were born.

Your DH obviously doesn't have the same sense of urgency as you do.

I got pregnant when we avoided DTD around my fertile time. We last DTD on day 10, 4 days before ovulation. Sperm can live for up to 7 days (but that is pretty rare) so there is a faint chance. You can also get pg if you DTD within 12 hours or so of ovulation, so if you jump his bones Sat morning you might get lucky....

so i need to suck it up

gamerchick I had no idea you were a Geordie either!

Yes nursery fees are a financial pain but your next DC might actually benefit from an extra year at nursery rather than starting school just after they turn 4 (I assume you mean you wanted a summer baby?), you just never know.

You need to relax, you already are way ahead of the game having only been ttc for 3 months and already having such a great handle on your cycle. But even so, its not a sure thing that you will fall pregnant even if you have sex at exactly the right time in a given month anyway.

Could you ask him leave a daily deposit in a jam jar, and then just get the turkey baster out as and when you need to?

Oh OP I know how it is to go down the rabbit hole of ttc nuttiness but really you must calm down!

I had to ttc for over two years before I got to that stage of grumpiness if it didn't happen when I wanted to.

Try to have a baby with a due date before Sep if you want, but realise it might even take another year (hopefully not though), by which point you'll be grateful for a child due in any month.

No you haven't necessarily missed the boat, if you ovulate on Friday as expected then there's still a chance for the next day or so but not unless, as others have said so succinctly, you calm down and apologise to your DH!

If you're that fussed about school years, then give it a rest for a few months, if you don't fall pg this one!