ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

guy your plans sound fine. Being home is best IMO.

lucy with my first mc I didn't have any time off - I mc on a Saturday. This time I had a week off. MC happened Monday but had scan booked Wednesday. I'm glad I had the time off. I am still having some downs but work are quite understanding.

lucy so sorry, and and lots of TLC. Glad you've already got Dr appt planned, hope you get good support.
guy planning to work from home sounds wise, then you can stop if you need. Just try to listen to your body and heart (I'm really bad at ignoring my head but my body has now given me no choice!)

Enormous hugs Lucy. So sorry to hear of your loss. When I lost my first pregnancy at 4+5, I started bleeding (mainly pink) on the Sunday night, the bleeding was heavier by the morning, and I got a BFN on a Clearblue so knew that I'd miscarried. I went straight to work afterwards and continued working all week. In hindsight this was a big mistake, as although work served as a distraction, I was physically exhausted and really regretted not taking time off. Ultimately it only took me another 3 cycles to get my second BFP (which ended in an ectopic), but I definitely think the first cycle post mc was a write-off because I was so exhausted and hadn't given my body time to recover properly.

Your experience of finding your second loss more upsetting than the first, sounds familiar to me. After the first, I was relieved that we could get pregnant and that it had happened relatively quickly (on cycle 2). I think I convinced myself that we'd get pregnant again really quickly and that having been through such a shitty experirence the first time around, it would definitely work out the second time. It was devastating to find that this wasn't the case.

There's no advice I can offer but thinking of you Guy.

So sorry Lucy. Big big hugs.

Sorry, meant to say, I was still on mat leave for my early mc but I would definitely have taken time off as I felt awful for a few day.

So sorry Lucy, that's so tough. Huge hugs and . You should definitely take the time off and look after yourself.

Congrats to brummie!

Sadly last week's bfp has led to another early mc for me - tested negative yesterday and bleeding started today. Unlike the first time when I coped surprisingly fine, this time it has hit me like a ton of bricks. Think it's because I really felt pregnant and had symptoms. Had a doctor's appointment scheduled for Tuesday anyway so I will ask him whether 2 early mcs in a row should be cause for concern.

Can I ask, when you ladies had your mcs, how much time off work did you have? Especially for early losses that didn't need medical intervention. I really don't feel up to going back to work tomorrow, but I had four days off last week with what I thought was a tummy bug (actually preg symptoms!) so I feel really guilty at taking more time off. Plus I would have to explain why to my boss.

Ok here's my plan:
If nothing starts properly today or I'm not sure:

• call boss and work from home tomorrow, Tues and Wed (rather than be off sick). Boss will be fine with whatever I do but I imagine I might take next week off if it doesn't happen this week. Was off last week between scans.
• book erpc for Thursday or Friday of possible (private). Can cancel if necessary.
• book dd into nursery for extra days Thursday or Friday (don't have any family locally who can take her).

If does start properly:

• take this week off sick and get a sick note from GP.
• once bleeding has stopped, book private scan to check everything has gone (hospital didn't offer this but my health insurance through work will pay for it).

Does that sound reasonable?
Sorry for being so boring. I hate things being out of control like this. I'm a working mum so my life has to be planned in advance with military precision or it falls apart! Wish this miscarriage could stick to a bloody schedule.

Big hugs guy
Ok. So when I said I had a neg test Monday. It was practically neg, had I been hoping for a BFP I wouldn't have considered it due to having to strain to see the pale test line compared with control. My BFPs have been solid dark lines in the past. However having read a few of these threads 'any line counts' so I did another this morning with same very pale result (OH can't even see it). Do you think I could ask for bloods? Am at drs (again) tomorrow - getting all these cysts noted! We have DTD now and am worried I didn't get a proper neg.
All advice gratefully received!

Guy for me on my first mc it was bright red right from the start. On my 2nd it started off pink on the Friday - just spots and very slowly over the next couple of days got heavier until I had my ERPC.

Best thing to do is send DP out to buy some maternity pads (that's what I did) because should it get heavier then you will need them to stem the flow. You might also want to get some andrex wipes as the flow can be very heavy and it makes you feel a bit cleaner.

Alternate nurofen and paracetamol every 2 hours

If you are scared and in real pain, don't be scared to go to the hospital if you need to.

Finally, please don't go to work, you need rest and privacy to get through this. You can sign yourself off sick for a week and if you need more the docs will sign you off for longer.

Thinking of you - keep talking to us xx

Hi guy... in my case MC1 started with some bleeding and I mc'd the sac about 24h later. It was measuring about 2 weeks too small so had probs died about 2 weeks earlier. I'd see what happens today but seriously consider calling in sick tomorrow. The problem is that it's not much fun waiting around for it to happen (I made sure I read a couple of good books, it was literally the only thing that could distract me). In my case I was "lucky" that it happened quickly, I bled for another couple of days after I passed the sac but I was a mess and couldn't have gone to work at all that week.

guy Everyone is different but with both mine I had pink spotting for 3 days, turned red spotting and red on wiping for 1 or 2 then actual mc of tissue occured after about 4 or 5 days. I really hope you're not in limbo too long.

This isn't really bleeding, it's more pink spotting. Argh. It's so hard to know how to proceed.

When I lost this one, I started pink a week before actual loss - got more and more frequent, getting darker and darker pink then started properly bleeding the day before the actual loss. No big cramps just lots of discomfort and twinging and intermittent cramps. I lost at 7 weeks.

Sending lots of love in case today is tough. Do expect to need to rest - I had weekend at home after, then worked but maybe shouldn't as had to go home Friday lunchtime and now utterly wiped out. Big hugs, x

If you've started bleeding I think it's likely to happen today. I wouldn't make any decision until this afternoon. Rest up and see what happens. For me, once the bleeding started, I passed the clots and baby within a few hours. The pain was pretty bad until I passed the baby but the baby was 9+1 weeks in size. If you do miscarry today, don't go into work tomorrow. You'll be tired, weak and emotional and it's really important to rest. The hospital gave me a 2 week sick note as that's what they recommend as recovery time. Hand holding incase it is happening today xx

*woken

So I've wooden up this morning with some bleeding. It's not much, but it is pink. Still no pain. Does that mean this might be happening soon? Or could it still be ages away? Should I stay off work tomorrow? Should I still book myself in for an erpc or wait and see what happens?
Sorry- I know there aren't really any right answers here.

Oh my goodness Guy please don't think that! This thread is exactly that. A place to get comfort, support and ask every question you need to.

This thread has been here for me twice and all times in between.

I found with my ERPC once it was over, literally everything stopped. The bleeding and pain. Any niggles I had nurofen was absolutely enough.

I sobbed to DP that I couldn't ever go through this again and here we are. I don't want to sound ungrateful - but I've been here before. Twice!!!!!

DP is v quiet about it all - he says he can't even think about it in case it goes wrong.

But as Charlie said very well, can't stop anything happening so will try to enjoy

I feel the same daisy. At the time it was shit but I was so glad to have had a naturally miscarriage and by the time I had my scan nearly everything had gone.
You are all so strong x

*strong (sorry very tired but CANNOT sleep)

Reading all your posts I'm so glad I had a natural , complete miscarriage. You're all such stomg brave women and my heart goes out to you all

I'm now 6dpo and my bbs are killing me! They normally get a little bit tender during ovulation then the tenderness returns about 2 days before my period... So I'm hoping the fact they've continued to be tender and are now very tender is a good thing and not another f*ed up thing my body is doing to screw with my mind!

And massive congrats Brummie! I really hope this is a sticky, healthy bean for you

Guy just to say that my ERPC experience was as quick and painless as others report above. I didn't have any pessaries beforehand though. I felt very heavy around my uterus for a couple of days afterwards, but nothing paracetamol and ibuprofen couldn't cope with. Definitely a few days bed rest recommended. Bleeding was moderate then lightened after 24 hours, but I did have a big bleed a week later. Luckily I knew it was coming as I'd had a scan at the EPU 6 days after the op due to a weird acute pain in my side, which turned out to be nothing to do with my uterus probably severe constipation after the painkillers, but it did show lots and lots of clots in there, so I knew they would have to pass. The bleed started 24 hours later while I was coming home from work and I had to hobble home with my legs clamped tight to stop myself completely flooding. I passed some big clots over the next hour, and then nothing more. I mention it just because I would have been terrified if I hadn't have had the scan and known there was more to come, as I hadn't bled at all for a couple of days beforehand. So keep a stock of thick pads for several days afterwards, just in case. And I recommend an iron supplement or pregnancy supplement with iron for a few weeks afterwards, as you do feel wiped out (as with all MCs) and your body needs to recover. Sending you hugs xx