ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

guy & chasing ~ how are you both doing today?

Aah thanks Charlie I'll be 4 weeks on Friday so only a bit behind you.

Told my sister today about my aspirin consumption (she's an obs & gynae registrar for those who wonder why I've mentioned her!) and whilst she's not particularly impressed she did say that there is evidence it does reduce miscarriage it can also cause bleeding in some cases.

She said it's swings and roundabouts - she wouldn't but she understands in my position why I want to and that it's my body, my choice and ultimately my responsibility.

If she said oh my god don't be so stupid then I may have re-thought it.

That said, she will almost certainly complain to my Mum about it. She might be a registrar my baby sis. - but she'll still complain to my Mum!

brummie I'm 5w today and have had terrible cramps for the last 2 weeks. Have been freaking out completely, DH keeps having to remind me I stressed about them both the other times (prior to MC2 I was CONVINCED I was having an ectopic as the pain was in one place but that wasn't the isssue for that one)

Have told work today. Been given disabled parking so don't need to walk from our car parks and risk falling over on the ice.
My colleagues have rallied round to help me with some events so I don't have to do them by myself and I've been told whatever I need for docs appt's etc just do whatever I need to do.

Feel very lucky to have great work colleagues and employer generally!!

I'm glad Guy though that you are starting to get things sorted. The only advice I can offer post is that before you start TTC to take a test and make sure it's bfn.

It's hard to see it say negative but it does mean you can start again. Big hugs x

Hi girls, have been quiet as I have nothing to report and firmly ensconced in the 2ww. Not expecting anything as I have no positive symptoms at 10dpo and a thousand BFN cycles behind me!!

Just a bit down as I did a soy cycle this time and it gave me some renewed hope stupidly

brummie my (very healthy) pregnancy with dd started with lots of cramps and twinges. This mmc involved no cramps (so far).

I know it's scary though. The thing is, if it's a healthy one there isn't really anything you could do to make it go wrong- you could run and jump and shag and climb Everest and it will still all be ok.

Willpower failed this morning and I took a test which came up negative. Trying not to give up all hope because AF isn't due till tomorrow. But earlier said than done, I'm sad grumpy and unfocused this morning.

Aww Brummie Hope you're ok! I would try not to worry about the cramping and twinges, mine were quite bad when I was pg and the midwife told me its all totally normal. I know it will be hard not to worry though! x

Brummie I have had so many cramps this time round, especially at about the point you are out now. I know you must be petrified but it is so normal.

brummie it's so scary, take it gently, be kind to yourself and remember we've all got fx for you. I totally understand how hard it is to know what's normal or not - and how hard to trust your body - but be brave. Big hugs x

guy so glad you've got things booked, being in limbo is so hard.

eggs I've had random pains this morning then had the runs (TMI sorry!) so who knows. I think our bodies are all mixed up and trying to sort themselves out. Hope it settles down - if not, give doc a ring in case infection (I had one after first mc)

Monten I felt the exact same way - worrying how I'd cope if I wasn't pregnant again. I fell apart each month but then had to pick myself up.

Eggs I caught on my 2nd cycle first time, and second time. This Tim was my 4th cycle - but I found that really hard. Even though I know it's not that long it seemed a lifetime.

I'm crampy and twingey this morning. Scaring the shit out of me. I know cramps are normal but my last mc started with pain.

Plus today is my actual due date for AF so I just have fear running through me.

I just can't stop being frightened - and I feel really fragile and really vulnerable like one wrong move would dislodge it all - which I know is stupid!!!

Glad you've got things moving guy

Ok - this morning I'm getting pains in my tummy and sides when I sit/bend. 2 weeks since actual mc probably only a few days of no bleeding at all. Any thoughts? Just wind?

Phew. Have had appointment with consultant through private healthcare. She is scheduling me for erpc on either Thursday or Friday. I'm really scared but so relieved that there is an end in sight. Still hoping it might happen on its own in the next couple of days but if not, at least this won't be prolonged any more.

charlie different st marys then! I may still look into whether transferring care is possible
haribo I'm like you - had BFPs 3 times within a month of trying (thus the username OH gave me) and now have an immense fear I won't be so lucky again
envious I too was excited about my May/June baby and am really hoping I could squeeze into August.

Hopefully i can follow suit if we miss this cycle purple :) those symtoms all sound really positive x

haribo as others have said there is every chance of conceiving in WTF cycle and plenty people are here to testify to that. I know very well the feeling of clinging on to that hope in the dark days post mc and worrying how I would fall apart if I didn't get pregnant. My wtf cycles were crazy too, with loads of symptoms. But I didn't get pregnant in either one. And I survived. You will too. Whatever happens, you will chin up and get on with it and one say your baby will come and you won't be able to imagine it any other way.

Thanks for the support and stats ladies. That certainly helps. Somehow knowing having two unrelated mcs in a row is really rare has helped too. After the first (termination for chromosomal abnormality) I took some comfort in the fact it was quite rare. I found having a miscarriage people were almost a bit less sympathetic - you do get the 'oh well, it's quite common, isn't it' line a lot. Somehow knowing we were damn unlucky helps -like I have a right to be cross at the world!

Thanks everyone, I feel better tonight than I did this morning and that's thanks to you lovely lot.

Yes Haribo I did so I feel really lucky despite missing it that first month.
Today I have felt sick, tired and a bit weepy. I am off most foods which means I seem to be losing weight rather than putting it on. It's still not as bad as last time but I am taking it all as reassurance.

Thanks purple. Did you catch on your 2nd cycle afterwards? How are they symtoms coming along?

Cross post Haribo, again I felt and feel exactly the same. Last time I was really bothered about gender, now all I want is a healthy baby.

Haribo, not crazy at all, I felt exactly the same as you. I don't think I ovulated so didn't have much chance but if you did why not! But if not, it could still happen really quickly. Hope this is your month.
Brummie I agree with Haribo, in your situation I would probably do the same.

I was so excited for my May baby, i'm a May baby, i had all these plans for the summer with two DC's. Now all i want is a healthy baby at the end of this journey, i don't care about gender or month they are born! MC really does change your priorities i guess.

Thanks everyone. Fingers crossed for you too envious. I was really impatient for the bleeding to stop too. 1) because it was a physical constant reminder and 2) because i wanted to start ttc. I hope your bleeding doesn't last too long and we both get lucky this cycle.

I'm sorry fifi, i can totally understand how you feel and i imagine i will feel exactly the same. I really hope this is your cycle.

Haribo I can completely understand where you're coming from. I've just finished my wtf cycle and was convinced that I would conceive. Unfortunately, I didn't and was gutted. I had a crappy, tearful week last week and it brought all the emotions of my MMC to the surface again.
I really hope that you do get your BFP but if you don't, you will do very soon. Keep trying and take care xx

Haribo it's not crazy at all, my good friend had to have a termination for medical reasons at 14 weeks. They were devastated but adamant they wanted their long for baby.

My friend started to stress that AF never turned up, she was convinced something was wrong. There was, she was pregnant again. Her gorgeous DS turned up months later.

So it does happen!!!!