ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

Congrats daisy I trust others eyesight to be better than my own!
Regards testing for BFN. I was advised to do after 3 weeks but did it after 7 days and again at 11. Personally I considered them negative due to having very clear BFP previously. In retrospect though I think they may have been faintly positive. We have DTD since but if its still not fully neg next week would ask for another scan or bloods.

chasing I sometimes get ovary pain. Have had a lot of left sided since mc. I originally thought it might be ovulation but been like that on and off all week so may be related to the mc in my case or everything you else you've been through? Tinsiest bit worried I could be like you and possible ectopic but think thats highly unlikely. Right?
Welcome mrsdiddlydoo sorry you've had to join us.
Im still having the occasional glass of wine despite not not trying. I know the current guidelines are against it but equally it feels like life's on hold not too!
guy I hope you're feeling a bit better this evening.
I too, like previous posters (sorry I'm on phone so not sure who said it) take a small consolation in that my body did the 'right thing' with my mc.

Afternoon ladies. Room for a small 1?

Had my 2nd mc at the beginning of the month. Dunno how to describe it... I've definitely blocked a lot of the experience out of my head already. Started naturally, excessive blood loss, hospital, passed sac with consultants help but still ended up with emergency erpc. Anyhow seem to be having a possible AF now so despite intending to have a break until after Xmas, we'll be starting the game all over again.

Have 21 month ds. Natural mc April '14. Have been trying for dc2 since oct '13.

daisy there is definitely a line. Congratulations! Fx for you.
Big wave to mrsC hope you're surviving ok? Dh will be bringing me my bottle of on his way back from work.
Big wave to everyone else

Daisy!!!!!!!

Ahh Chasing sorry you're having such a crap time :( Sorry I can't help there.. I was desperate after waiting a couple of weeks! But everything was OK no pain. Hope you're alright x

guy glad oyu took something positive from the experience, you sounds like you have a really good attitude. Take care of yourself for the next little while xx

daisy that looks like a line to me... you going to do another tomorrow FMU?

Oh gosh scared myself silly reading about ovulating while still having a small amount of hcg in your system. Apparently you can ovulate if it is a small amount.. however one of the stories was of a lady who fell pregnant before getting a BFN and she lost that baby too! Well I know the time I thought I ov'd was inbetween a BFN from cheapy tests the week before and a BFN on a frer the week after... so I am assuiming that is still classed as low hcg? I now feel like such an idiot for not being careful around that but I wasn't told any of this at the hospital :(

Everything crossed for a super sticky bean Daisy! :)

Thank you :) now just gotta hope for a sticky bean!

I can definitely see it too Daisy congratulations!

MsJupiter That's what we agreed too... we wouldn't go back to protection however we wouldn't track OV etc etc (easier said than done I am so impatient! lol) But overall idea was we would just see what happens this month and try properly next year. It's rubbish though I don't know whether to drink or not drink or what. Anyway yes you're right you could be lucky! Fx :)

Daisy!!! I deffo see a line! Congratulations honey x

Guy Pleased its all over with for you now, hope you're feeling as good as you can be.

Well my friends seem to think that if I don't get pregnant in the wtf cycle then it will be a blessing in disguise and then try again next year giving us a break, however it just doesn't feel like waiting is gunna help me personally but we will see, if its not meant to be this year then it won't be!

Eeeek!! I am so petrified but so glad you can see it too north thank you!

Well done Guy I am glad it is over for you and you can start to recover. Also that it wasn't too bad although I'm sorry you had to go through that fear. I completely identify with what you are saying about the natural part of the mc as that was exactly what I thought - with DS I was induced, then failed to progress so had a CS. In the weirdest way it was good to know my body does know what to do. If I am lucky enough to have another baby it gives me hope that I might be able to have a VBAC.

Amyyy I thought maybe that's what the wtf cycle was - good name. I think we will 'try' this cycle but in a casual way. I know I run the risk of disappointment around Xmas time but it's got to happen some time. And I could be lucky. Who knows.

daisy I can see it too!!!!!

Fantastic

Can anyone else see this or do I totally have line eye?!

Had erpc this morning. Consultant was very certain that it was the right thing to do as there was still a large amount of stuff in there. I was so so scared but it was fine. All over. Just resting now.

I suppose it is a bit unfortunate that I mostly miscarried naturally because that labour experience was so intense and yet I had to have surgery anyway. But I have taken something positive from it. During labour with dd two years ago, I didn't progress well and my cervix took agrees to dilate. They eventually had to induce me so I contracted better. I felt like a failure for a long time after and wondered why my body didn't do what it was supposed too.

During my actual mc this week, my contractions were very intense and grew in strength. They got closer together and extremely painful and then the sac was pushed out. Exactly how labour should be. I breathed through it and it was really hard.
Basically my uterus knew exactly what to do and it did it really well. It contracted quickly and efficiently.

I feel empowered by that experience and actually more as peace about my labour with dd. The trust I lost in my body after my labour has been regained.

Sorry, not sure if any of that makes sense. But I guess I have taken something positive from this whole awful experience.

MrsJ I hope it's all over for you too. I'm glad you are feeling calm about it all.

Amyy I would imagine the body doesn't ovulate if there is still hcg but I don't know. Must be so confusing. Is all very well saying 'relax' but of course in reality, it's impossible! I guess I'll be joining you in the wtf cycle now. I think we might hold off on ttc for a cycle. I just think I need a month or so where the world doesn't revolve around my uterus! I guess we'll see how we feel and probably start after Christmas. I would imagine I won't be very relaxed about it all so good to just take a month to breathe for me after everything that has gone on. Hope it's ok if I still hang out here though.

MsJupiter The wtf cycle is the what the fuck cycle the one straight after your miscarriage where your cycle is all over the place, it could be that its a really long cycle or you don't ovulate at the right time and your af doesn't arrive at the normal time either.

So atm I'm in my wtf cycle, its been a little over 4 weeks since my mc and I was hoping I would have had my af by last Wednesday (when in a normal cycle it would have been due) so that we could have had a BFP in time for Christmas.. I even had what I thought was a few af symptoms last week but then nothing has came of it. I don't think I could be pregnant again as I haven't had any ov symptoms after getting my BFN... I thought I had ov'd a couple of weeks ago but at that time I was still testing positive and have been told since then you can't ov if you still have HCG in your system. Although don't get me wrong I would embrace this diahrrea if I thought it could be another pregnancy!! But sadly I highly doubt that. I wouldn't even know when to test but will give it at least another 2 weeks. From what I've heard it can take 4-6 weeks for af to arrive.

Ps sorry about the letters :( It must be different depending where you are from my hospital 'conviscated' all my pregnancy notes and cancelled all appointments so I wouldn't get that although it was a bit too late for my 12w scan letter which I got the day after my mc... but great to hear you took it well. Sounds like a good plan to visit your work!

Amyyy I have read through your previous posts (what a lovely positive person you sound) and I am not quite sure if you are 'in the running' or definitely just waiting for af so I don't want to say something insensitive but I had a random bout of diarrhoea at the very beginning of each of my pregnancies, before I knew I was pg. I guess it could just be IBS or a precursor to AF though.

By the way, is the wtf cycle the first cycle after mc? Does wtf just mean what it usually does?

After yesterday which was the worst since Saturday in terms of pain/clots, today I have very little blood and only a little soreness. So I am hopeful that this is coming to an end. I will wait until next week to test for a negative though as I think it will be hard to do.

I have still felt completely calm since it all happened apart from a couple of tears. Even when I got a letter about antenatal appts yesterday I just thought, ok better cancel that. I haven't left the house or spoken to anyone outside my family so maybe I just haven't had to face reality yet. I am thinking of going in to work this afternoon just to say hi as a sort of practice run for going back properly next week. It's only ten minutes away and a laid-back atmosphere (with a cafe!) so I think it would be ok to do that.

Thinking of you today Guy let us know how you get on x

How is everyone else this morning? I had a horrible change in mood yesterday and was angry and weepy for best part of the day, don't know why, I had been coping quite well and it just came out of nowhere! Emotionally feeling better again today, however I apologise in advance for TMI for I have the worst case of 'the runs' today I think I have ever had... and I have coeliac and IBS so that is saying something!! But I haven't had symptoms from both of them since before the baby so wonder where its came from... I'm hoping its cause my af is coming lol although I don't think I have ever heard of that as a symptom! Just wish it would turn up now, we want to get cracking ttc and its holding me back!

Chasing if you're reading this how are you doing? any progress with your levels coming down? x

Waves at AlltheQueenshorses. Hope your appointment went well this afternoon. Do let us know how it went. Thinking of you

Guy the (mean) sonographer said I had "stuff" retained, I just called it tissue, not sure what it was. Thinking of you tomorrow xx

No advice I'm afriad guy but lots of thoughts and hugs. For me, this mc was natural, I passed clots and sac at hospital outpatients but then just sent home, no follow up offered or scan and kept bleeding and passing clots for several days. If you're not sure, take time to talk to doc at appointment and see what they say. Try to get as much info as you can. Will be thinking of you.

I'm still feeling rubbish here, nearly 3 weeks of feeling ill and just can't tell what is virus and what is mc. Spotting and feeling poorly started 3 weeks ago today, main loss was 2 weeks ago tomorrow. I stopped bleeding at the weekend but now spotting again. Come on body, get a grip. I just can't stop thinking about these 2 mcs, it just keeps popping into my head at random times, in work meetings, so hard to focus. Right, think I need to take myself off for good talking to!

Positive thoughts ladies, these are tough days but we WILL get through and will get our BFPs and happy endings!

guy when I had my natural MC I started bleeding on a monday, had a scan that day showing baby had died 2 weeks earlier, passed the clot tuesday, bled another couple of days then I had a followup scan on the Monday a week after it all started. They told me at that appt that if they could still see tissue I'd have had surgery but I was lucky and it was mostly clear, just a thickened lining.

There's no "right" answer... what all the other ladies have said are definitely the pluses and minuses, and no one can know what the "right" decision is. I imagine a lot of what is difficult for you right now is the limbo of not having made a decision or made it for you. In a lot of ways it's probably easier just to say "I'm going to do X" then move on, whichever decision it is. Indecision is a killer (I was still indecisive about the ERPC right up to the point they put me under, so by that point I was sobbing my guts out!) Sounds like talking it through with the consultant is a good plan, maybe see if you can get scanned again... even at an EPU or somewhere else.

Good luck hun, it's been such a sh*t time for you, I'm so sorry xx