ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

Thanks Brummie, I'm really struggling because DH just said "I know why you're upset bit I can't relate and so we're best not talking about it as we will argue."
His reasoning being that it's someone not too close to us.
He's just made me feel irrational and like he's fed up of me. I really don't know how to cope anymore :(

Oh Treacle the baby bombs don't get any easier do they? Thinking of you.

Hey Snoopy thanks for the congrats. Unfortunately I've been here before so still very scared. Sorry you find yourself here though These ladies are amazing.

Amy deep breath and remind yourself that you'll be starting again very soon. You are out of your wtf cycle and you can start to move forward

Hugs to you all. Got my docs appt on Tuesday and all I can think is come on little bean, hang in there

Yet another baby bomb. Ffs :(

snoopy and giantmama so sorry you both find yourself here :(

msjupiter that's a very odd question! Hope you're ok. I've found i can be doing great one day and hit rock bottom the next, then back to being ok again it's very strange. I can't even blame hormones anymore!

Glad your scan went well jetpack and so sorry for your loss x

Sorry to those who have had to join us.
There's such great support on here ladies.

I'm considering just trying this month anyway... but I havent tracked my temp at all or used opk's and I'm on Cd11 today.
Normally ov between cd16 and 20.
DH is saying we should stick to having a break but I really want it so much :/
Hmm.

Thank you for your kind words. Msjupiter, gr33dyeggs and enviousllama I was so sad to see your losses on the June antenatal thread. I would have been due in June but didn't want to post there in case I jinxed it, turns out it was out of my hands anyway. I remember saying to my husband that we had been so lucky this year and that no one ever gets everything they want

I know I haven't even had the d and c but I just want to look to the future. I'm so scared I won't get pregnant again as easily as last time especially because I have hypothyroidism. I'm scared I won't be able to handle a bfn

So sorry to see you here giantmama, good luck with your trying again.

Snoopy, sorry to hear what you're going though. The first weekend, with all the waiting and getting used to the news is devastating.
CD1 is the first day of your period. The cycle after a MC is often called the wtf cycle as no one has a clue where you are in terms of your cycle.
Some people ov in the wtf cycle, some don't. Your HCG needs to be very low or zero in order for you to ovulate.
I've used OPKs but be aware that any remaining hcg can also give you a +ve ov test so best to start using them after a -ve hpt.
You will be pregnant again soon, take care xx

So sorry to hear that snoopy and giant. The advice I have been given by the others here is that dates really can't be relied upon but to make sure you test negative before trying. Then just go for it as you could ovulate any time really.

I hope you do get pg again next cycle but even if it takes a bit longer I am sure you will have the happy family you deserve.

I just went to look at a nursery for DS and they asked me if he was an 'only child'. Wouldn't you ask if he was our first or something rather than that? Only child sounds so final. I couldn't reply. I thought I was coping well but it has really taken me aback how upset I was. It's not her fault of course. But I still think it's an odd question.

Sorry that should say daisy, I hate this phone

Hello all. I'm 29 and got my first ever bfp on 9th October, it was my first month off the pill. We were so happy, couldn't believe we were pregnant straight away and it would have been a honeymoon baby.
Fast forward to 27th Nov I went to epu thinking something wasn't right. Our little one measured eight weeks and had no heartbeat. We are devastated. I'm having a d and c on Monday because my body is not mis carrying by itself and we can't bear to be in limbo, it will be closure for us.
We want to try again as soon as I stop bleeding but I have some questions.
Last time we just dtd every other day for the whole month.
What do I count as cd1? The date of the d and c or the day I stop bleeding?
Will I ovulate as normal or will I have to wait until I get a negative hpt?
I have never used an opk but bought some cheapies from the internet. Are they worth using or will I just confuse and upset myself?
We are trying to stay positive. Thirty years ago my mum was married in August like us, pregnant the same time and miscarried the same time. She was pregnant again by New Years with me and never had another miscarriage. Hopefully we can do the same.
Sorry this is so long. If you have any other tips for getting pregnant quickly please let me know

And congrats brummie! I've been lurking here the last two days

Hello,
Can I join you?
I lost my ID twin boys in August at 22 weeks and we're trying again.

Thank you treacle and jetpack and so sorry for your loss :( great to hear the scan went well that's fab news xx

Congrats on the bfp Daisy!

Sorry for bfn Amy

Just thought I would let you know that I had my 20 week scan this week and it went well. Baby looks healthy and very lazy chilled out. I can't believe I've got this far!

It was a difficult time however as my lovely MIL died this week. I'm heartbroken she won't get to meet this little one, who is her first grandchild. I keep thinking that if my first pregnancy had worked out, we would have had a baby in September and she would have met it. I know that one was not meant to be our child and hopefully this one is, and I am so in love with this baby and wouldn't change it for anything - but I know you ladies will understand the constant 'what ifs' that are always present after MC.

Anyway, I'm still lurking, cheering you all on. There is always hope xx

Thanks cariad and lets :)
Trying to just not think about it.
Sorry it was a bfn amy, enjoy having a drink though.

Thank you letsdothisthing I'm still unsure how I feel if I'm honest. My OH thinks it's a good thing, he said it would have been too soon if it were a BFP but i don't know.

Unfortunately I wasn't looking forward to tonight anyway, one of the couples we are out with are expecting and will be about 25weeks now and haven't seen her since 9 when there was no bump. I'm terrified I will cry when I see her and I dont want to spoil the night or make anyone feel uncomfortable. Our mc is still going to be the big elephant in the room and I'm usually the very bubbly one who's always making jokes but I can't be that person tonight :/ gah how unfair!

Oh and congratulations to you daisy, I hope the line continues to get nice and dark for you, and you have a happy 9 months (and more) ahead of you!!

Oh sorry for the bfn amy, hope it didn't spoil your night out!
Hope you are feeling a little bit better today treacle

Or should have said big fat negative! Lol

Sorry to mrsdiddlydoo and letsdothisthing that you find yourself here but it really is the best shit place to be! Hope you are both feeling as well as can be xx

Well miss impatient here decided to work out if there was a chance of a new pg... So goin off when I thought I ov'd I would today be 17dpo. So I took a frer this morning as we are out tonight and didn't want to drink if there was any chance as well as being desperate to know! But a big fat BFN! Nevermind at least I can have a drink tonight guilt free.

Congrats Daisy - such awesome news. Here's to a happy and healthy nine months.

Enormous hugs Treacle. Baby bombing sounds hideous. The last time it happened to me it knocked me for six so I can totally identify.

Congrats Daisy!!! :)

How are you brummie?
Sorry I've not been on, work has been hectic.
Had a baby bomb aat work today. Came home and cried my eyes out. So much for thinking I was coping :/

Hi all, please can I join you :-)

I had a mc early this month, it all came away naturally thankfully! My last hospital appt over a week ago showed hcg at 32, it was over 5000 to begin with and they wanted it to get below 5, but I was discharged this week after doing a negative HPT so we're now trying again!

Think I'm on cd26 today and DTD on and off since cd17, no idea if I've ovulated yet though! My usual cycles used to be between 30-32 days but have no idea where I am now :-/ still at least it helps to be trying again as feels like we're doing something constructive! Only trouble is I don't know when to stop DTD as really don't want to miss our chance this month! I used to see this thread pop up before and never dreamt I'd be on it but it's not so bad, you're all so brave! Wishing us all lots of luck and BFPs :-)

Daisy check you out!!!! Congrats!! A line is a line and there is defo a line there!!

Guy I'm so glad you are feeling ok and that you've got something positive from such a horrible experience.

Welcome MrsDiddly am so sorry you find yourself here but these ladies are fab

And hows this for coincidence. .... my OH is a copy writer and has been approached about working on literature for research into swabbing for infections in pregnancy due to association with miscarriage and premature birth. This was implicated in my loss. He told no one of it (whereas I tell the world). I really hope it comes off. I am struggling knowing there is a chance the miscarriage could have been prevented and it would be great to raise awareness.