ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

Oh dear snoopy! Hope you're feeling ok.

Well the Erpc or d and c or whatever is done.
Quite farcical watching the nurses argue in front of me about whether I needed a pregnancy test because I've missed three periods and can't have surgery if I'm pregnant! had to explain what I've actually been admitted for

guy I think mooncup will be fine. As Mrs.DD said tanpons are ok and theres a lower risk of infection with mooncup. I intend to use mine if/when AF arrives. Its just not advised during the miscarriage loss.
newera glad DP is ok and a holiday to look forward to sounds good.

waves at Cake, huge hug xx

So sorry to see the newbies here . Hope you stays are very short.

Received DP's sperm results back today and they are normal. Ordered more very expensive supplements to try and improve fertility. Booked Center Parcs holiday for my 40th birthday.

Thank you MrsDiddly .. I don't know what my body is doing I woke up this morning to a slightly brown/pale discharge, I think I then passed a couple of clots which were very very dark and bloody, and straight after went back to the pale discharge again and has been like that all afternoon.. and no cramps but a very strange feeling in my tummy, but not painful at all.

Maybe it will start properly later tonight or even tomorrow, although I then wouldn't know when to class as CD1? Would it still be today?

Amy it is normal for first post mc AF to be heavier than usual, or lighter in some cases. I've always passed clots with my AF post mc. Horrible reminder really. Hope you feel OK with it.

guy not sure about bath but if you feel OK, it should be fine. Never used a moon cup so no advice. Can be heavier AF than normal though so not sure how that affects mooncup. Hope you enjoy that bath!

giant I agree with cake baker about the ov sticks! They make me crazy. There's lots of different strategies for TTC. Are your cycles regular? Do you know when you ovulate? I've always had stabbing pains around ov time. Also... Sorry if tmi... But your cervical mucus (cm) changes around ov time. Usually increases and can be a bit egg white like... Shagging every other day and a bit more on the run up to ovulation does the trick for lots of ladies. usually wear dh out around ov time then we're too knackered for the rest of the month. Depressing really but never learn my lesson the ov sticks are really useful if you have long cycles. I'm sure you'll get lots more advice from the lovely ladies on here. Good luck.

I've so much to do today but still manage to find myself on here. Hope everyone's Monday is treating you well.

Diving in very quickly, waves to all

guy not a silly question at all, I was also told not to have a bath for a couple of days after my erpc and actually didn't feel like it as I was still bleeding a bit. I'd say if you're not then go for it, just avoid bubbles etc as it's just infection or anything that might aggravate things they worry about. I'm sure you'll be fine. Can't tell you about mooncup I'm afraid but don't see why not, tampons are fine so that should be too I would think?

giant a sad but warm welcome. There are a lot of experienced ttc ers on this thread so I'm sure you'll get lots of advice. As a fellow 38 yr old I'd say don't dive into the ovulation sticks if you can avoid it just yet as it can make you quite obsessive (or that may be just me!) and I know people have mixed success with them being reliable. I'd say try for the every other day approach to doing the deed then you don't have to get quite so technical and see how you go. Or if you do really want to follow a plan then I know quite a few people who swear by the smep (sperm meets egg plan) - there is a whole website on it. You will get lots of other suggestions but I think it's important to find what suits you and your dh. Wishing you lots of luck.

Hi,
Thanks for welcoming me. I'm here for some advice, please!
Never TTC before, our twin boys were a total miracle.
What the hell do we do? Apart from the obvious, I mean... I bought some ovulation tests from Tesco - says to count days from 1st day of period to know when to start testing but I have an app that tracks my cycle and it looks to me like if I count as many days as the test kit says, I could miss it. So start early then?
Total rookie here, 38 years old and freaking out a tiny bit, now I've lost what would have been the sum total of children I wanted to have.
Help a rookie out?
TIA xxx

I have a couple of silly questions. Had my eprc on Friday and they said not to have a bath for a few days. Can I have one today? DD is at nursery and I really fancy relaxing in the bath.
Also when my next period comes around can I use my mooncup as normal?

Allthequeenshorses Thank you. I'm still miffed with the hospital they haven't told me anything of what to expect so felt very in the dark until finding this forum!

I'm In the north east of England and its not a holiday here unfortunately!

P.s I can't see your original post but from reading through this page I take it your SIL isn't being very sympathetic? It's so sad that people can't understand how difficult enough this is without others being unthoughtful. I would like to think if I hadn't been through this and someone I knew was in my boots that I would make sure I wasn't doing or saying anything that could cause more upset, as a loss is a loss whether born or not, and at the end of the day we have all lost a child... is there really anything more painful to go through? Sadly, not everyone sees it that way but that's another reason why I love this place... we all know what it feels like in one way or another and everyone is so supportive!

Good morning ladies

I am sat here in tears this morning reading all these messages. You are all so kind and the fact that other people can relate to what I feel is just amazing.

I am going to phone gp tomorrow and make an appointment to change hospital. I was not sure if it was me being sensitive but I am grateful for your comments there.
Amyyy I have always had quite heavy af but certainly heavier than normal on the first one after mc.

Daisy, completely understandable with the flashbacks. I worry every time af due and keep going over the pain and upset from before.

I am going to try and ignore sil but if she says anything else I will speak to other sil who has my niece and nephew and see if she can have a quieter word than I might.

I am allegedly off work today but am surrounded by piles of files to catch up on. At least I don't need to actually get dressed and go to the office though.

Is today a holiday everywhere or just Scotland? Hope you all have a good day wherever you are.

Morning ladies, for some reason my phone just won't let me look at any pages before this one so hope you are all well.

daisy sorry you've had such a bad night, sending hugs! X

I've woke up this morning to the arrival of my af! I'm actually just relieved and trying not to think any more than this is the fresh start we needed. Can I just ask though did any of you pass clots when your af arrived? I've heard it's normal but just checking?

guy and MsJ I hope 'normality' isn't too tough today.
For those suffering baby bombs, its so hard, big hugs. I'm on edge around most women of childbearing age and always scanning for bumps.
ATKH I would see about transferring to the other hospital - you need confidence in them and the person you saw sounded awful.
Sorry to posts I've missed responding to.

No need to apologise AlltheQueens. Sorry you're having such a tough time at the moment. Sounds as though we're in a similar boat on the friends front, as all of my close friends are either upduffed or have babies, and it's really hard not to feel left out. I have good days and bad days on this front, but can definitely identify with not having anyone in RL (other than DH) to talk to about these things. I'm lucky in that we don't have any familial pressure as I don't know how I'd cope with that as well.

Is there anyone in your DH's family who can talk to your SIL about how upset she's making you feel (ideally sooner rather than later?) She sounds quite immature (although I could be wrong) and might not realise the impact she's having on you. Sending you lots of un-mumsnetty hugs

Daisy - sorry you had such a rubbish night's sleep, but I can totally identify. I was on constant crotch watch the second time round and know that I'll be even worse next time. Keeping everything crossed that you have a healthy, sticky bean.

Oh Daisy, sending you hugs.
It is definitely normal but also normal for you to be worried. Hang on in there x

allthequeens I can very much identify with you. My sil has a 2 year old from a very short relationship and she isn't maternal at all, goes on holiday all the time leaving 2 year old with grandad... Just seems so unfair! Then she gives me TTC advice... Sending you big hugs

I've been awake since 4.30, AF is officially due today and I've got mild but noticeable cramping which I know is 100% normal but as soon as I go to sleep i dream I'm bleeding and have flashbacks/nightmares about my mc :(

Allthequeens, i can really identify.

My sil is ttc and I'm so paranoil that she is pregnant and about to tell us. I can't cope with it. I've often said to DH if she announces ill have to leave.

Your SIL sounds very hard to be around and I don't think you're showing us your bad side at all.
It's perfectly normal.

Thank you.

treacle and cariad I am noticing I am finding the baby bombing harder and harder. I have been married 12 years and ttc for nearly two. My dh younger brother got married this year after a very short relationship. I actually really like my new sil but she is extremely insensitive. She made a comment the other night about next Xmas and how it would be in their home as they would be ttc and would have had a baby by then. I know this sounds like I am crazy but I actually did not sleep all night. She is not pregnant but the thought made me so upset. She made such a huge issue about her wedding and nobody stealing her thunder and I was so worried when I fell in February. She barely said a word when I mc and I honestly sat the other night thinking if she announces a bfp I will have to leave. I love my dh and his family but I feel like such a leper.

His older brother and wife live next door, it's a bit weird, like a big barn conversion but with a secret door. Their kids have bedrooms in our house as well and I love them so much it's hurts. I then thought I can't leave them but I honestly don't see an end to it. First baby was due 5 November, next would have been due 19 May which is my dad's birthday. Every single friend of mine is either pregnant or has a baby and I just can't talk to anyone but you guys. DH is absolutely furious about the dr and I just think everything I do is wrong.

guy please don't push yourself to hard, take some time for you as well as working at home.

Thank you all,again. I'm not normally so bitter and angry. I'm actually quite nice usually. Just sorry for putting my bad side across to you all.

Big hugs.

I think you have to do what feels right for you Treacle.

In my case, I think the control freak in me finds not TTC and therefore knowing that whatever I do I won't get a BFP this month so much easier to deal with than TTC.

That would be lovely Cariad :)
I backed out of taking a month off... rightly or wrongly. Just couldn't cope not ttc.
Off we go again...

We will all get our babies!

Sorry you had such a rubbish experience at the hospital AlltheQueens - I would definitely go back to the GP if I was you. Is there any chance you can ask to see a consultant at the bigger hospital, and be under their care when you next get a BFP instead?

I can also identify with you on the friends front. My BFF and I were the last of our friends not to be pregnant, and had been ttc for a similar period of time. She announced her pregnancy a couple of weeks ago and it transpired that my ectopic would have been due the day before her EDD. Whilst I'm absolutely delighted for her, I also find seeing her quite difficult as it serves as a reminder of what DH and I have lost. She, in turn, is also finding the situation quite awkward, and I suspect we'll keep our distance until the baby's born unless I get a BFP in the meantime.

Sorry your friend's facebook announcement really upset you - I get the sense that these situations are really difficult for both parties. There was a thread on dealing with friends' BFPs on the conception boards a few weeks ago, and it was quite an interesting insight into how it can feel to be the pregnant friend in these situations as well, although I'm sure some deal with it better than others (a facebook announcement, or as happened in my case, a baby bombing over the course of a 4 hour long meal probably isn't the most appropriate...)

Sorry to everyone else having a hard time. I'm with you on wanting to press the fast forward button on the rest of 2014 MrsC. I'm also not ttc at the moment (am too petrified of having another ectopic over Christmas), but for those on a break until the new year wouldn't it be so fab if we could start 2015 with a flurry of BFPs?

Big wave to giantmama, snoopy and merch. Sorry you find yourselves here and have had to experience such rubbish things to end up here.

just lost my post how frustrating.

mrsC when i mc in april at 10 weeks I was still testing positive over 3 weeks later. I had been told by epu to contact them if still positive after 2 weeks but never bothered. With hindsight and knowing more about mc I wish I had. If you're not sure about something probably worth getting advice. I ended up with on off heavy bleeding for weeks.

I struggle with milestones. Should be here approaching xmas with a nb or at least a bump but instead I just have the end of the year to look forward to. Had enough of this one. Hate wishing time away but... Not big on Xmas but planning on making it as good as possible. Twinkly lights already flashing in our tree.

Guy I'm glad things are physically improving and the bleeding seems to be over. I understand what you mean about feeling apprehensive about leaving the bubble - things go back to normal tomorrow and I will have DS all day. I'm worried that my patience is low and physically I'm not feeling as strong as I usually need to be to deal with his toddler levels of energy. I am very grateful to have him though.

Understandable that your a bit nervous about going back to normal life guy, don't push yourself too hard.
If you find it difficult then make sure to allow yourself resting time.