ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

Just checking in. MMC in September, coming towards the end of my first 2ww since the MC and feeling particularly crappy (in a good way) but I don't actually know when I ovulated. In a bid to be more chilled out..... trying to be chilled out now but I am struggling to hold off POAS. Love to everyone and I hope Santa leaves healthy beans under the tree for all! xxxx

Mummy so sorry you find yourself here sending hugs. The only advise we can give you regarding ttc is that you wait until you're ready. That could be straight away or you may want to give your body some time. There is no medical reason not to try straight away (other than waiting until you test negative so that you can be certain of a new pregnancy). Sorry I can't help with the drink but hopefully someone else on here can! x

Thanks Daisy and so pleased to hear you're ok x

GreedyEggs I too saw the pics on facebook, as well as a load of newborn baby photos off friends. I haven't been back on since I can't handle it right now :(

Hi can I join? I have just had mc confirmed today and am in bits :( couple of questions before I read the thread. How long is best to leave before ttc again? And just had a metronidazole suppositrie, will I be able to drink tomorrow night cos know you can't on metronidazole oral? I feel I need a couple of glasses of wine :/

Just seen a pregnant posing Kardashian flash up on FB. Its made me really sad.

Just popping in to send you all huge hugs. I keep thinking I'm going to be back here for some reason but can't put my finger on why, no symptoms of a mc at the minute but I'm so scared of a silent one as I had such little spotting last time and no pain. But I keep telling myself after POAS for the billionth time today I am pregnant, really hoping it happens for all of you lovely ladies very soon, you all deserve it so much, lots of love x

Hi all, I need to read back properly but struggling to focus.
I agree with what everyone has said MrsJ, take the time if you need it.
I had one week off and then was on holiday the week after but still don't feel that was enough.

Hugs MrsJ. Normal life after loss is such a hard transition. Give yourself time. xx

Snoopy think how strong your body was being, still trying so so hard to nurture something even though it wasn't going to develop. Maybe that's not a body you can't trust, maybe that's a really determined and strong body.
At least that's how I'm trying to think about it. Mmc is hard to understand.

Snoopy Can totally relate to how you're feeling that's exactly how I've been feeling recently :( I feel like if I ever get pregnant again how could I even trust my body. Horrible feeling!

AllChat Sorry for your loss :( I was told to take a test 2 weeks after mc (mine was medically managed) and if it was still negative I would have to go back to hospital. I got to 2 weeks and still tested positive but didn't feel ready to speak to them so I done my research and it can take 3 weeks for hormones to go back to normal, any positives after 3 weeks you should contact your GP/Hospital/EPAU as you may not have passed everything. I ended up testing negative exactly 3 weeks to the day I started 'fully bleeding'

MrsDiddly Sorry you've had a rubbish day at work, sending hugs!

MrsJ Hope you're feeling better soon. My work is very similar only my boss found out about me being pg before I was ready to tell him and now know about our mc... now I can tell he's already checking for signs even though I haven't told anyone we will be trying again. Very annoying.

Thanks mrs. I did feel earlier like I really couldn't cope and thought about going to the doctor to see about getting a bit more recovery time but thought I was overreacting. I usually work 2.5 days per week and didn't go in last week apart from a couple of hours to check post so thought ten days off would be enough. Unfortunately my workplace is not very family-friendly (I am one of only two parents) and my boss thinks mat/hol/sick leave etc is a disgrace so I was hoping to get through this without her knowing. Maybe that is a mistake. I just think she'd be sympathetic to my face but then be 'watching' me for any sign of future pregnancy.

Anyway I'll have to see how tomorrow goes I think. Thanks for the advice and to all of you for making me feel less alone in all this.

Work can be tough after mc Msjupiter. Have you gone back too soon? Everyone is different. Some like to get straight back to it because it helps them get on with things and others need much longer. There's no right or wrong amount of time to have off. Earlier this year I had a week off after mc at 10 weeks. Should have may be taken a bit longer. This time I've had 3 weeks off and back now doing half days. Think bottling up first experience has had a knock on effect this time. This morning I have heard pregnancy announcements, birth announcements and had colleagues discussing the snip. Wtf. All in 4 hours. Wish I could have got in a big hole under my desk to avoid people. Everyday I'm coping a bit better. Then I feel bad. And guilty. And sad. Grrr...

Isn't it odd how a positive test can make you feel at different times of your life.

I've just done an Internet cheapie to see if the line was getting fainter and it was the strongest positive I've ever had.

I'm feeling some of the strongest self loathing I've ever felt right now. Not only could I not make a healthy baby but when the baby's heart stopped at eight weeks my body couldn't even work that out and miscarry by itself. If I hadn't gone to the epu because of a gut feeling i'd still be none the wiser.

I have no faith in myself today. I don't believe I will ever have a baby.

I have just had a scan. It was miscarriage. Just body and CB messing me around. Thanks for replying. Sorry you've had a shitty time.

Have you had a scan or spoken to a doctor, allchat? I think the hormones can stay around longer - I had a mc 10 days ago and haven't tested yet (I was 9w). But I think they can also stay longer if you have retained tissue so if you have any concerns it would be better to speak to someone about getting scanned.

Back at work today, just a half day. Harder than I thought. Every time anyone asked me a question I snapped at them. Then cried when I got home. Not great really.

Hello,

Really sorry to crash the thread. Hope you don't mind and sorry for all the difficult times on here

I was pregnant last week (tested mon & tues), then I started to MC with cramping and bleeding (buckets) on wednesday. I'm still spotting today a week later. When I tested on Monday it was my due date. The CB test showed 1-2weeks preg.

Bought a cheapie test from pound shop yesterday and there was faint line. Used other test today (same packet) and stronger line. Then did CB. It still says pregnant 2-3 weeks. Last week it said preg 1-2 weeks. I know they cannot be relied on, so I just need everyones thoughts please?

I was only 4 weeks and a few days when I started to miscarry, so I wouldn't have thought a week later the hormone would have been all gone. How long does it normally take? Have I tested too early? (just the conception thing has thrown me a little)
Thank you x

guy I read the thread envious put up and also did some article searches. I could find no evidence that TTC straight after had increased chance of things going wrong. OH was/is worried about it so that was why I looked. After initial feelings of 'never again' I really want another child so am keen to be trying again.

The one thing that bothers me - if anyone can help - is with an absence of pre mc scan or bloods how can you know you didn't have a molar?

Sorry to hear about your dad guy Hope today goes ok.

I'm going for a blood HCG with GP on Friday - finding the whole 'is it a feint line?' annoying. Also booked for a swab the week after to check infection has gone.

guy don't feel bad, that's what this thread is for. I lost my day four and a half years ago. In June when I had the second mc it was around the anniversary of his death. The World Cup was on, like it was four years ago when he died. I felt overwhelmed by grief, not about the mc but about him. Of course they are not linked but its only natural that they bring up the same emotions. Sorry you're having to go through this, it's an incredibly worrying and sad time. I really hope it's good news tomorrow.

Sorry about the baby bomb envious. Some people bug me more than others, and it doesn't have to be people I know well either. It's always shit

Guy I'm really sorry to hear about your dad. I don't think you are dominating the thread but you are asking questions I am wondering about myself. I think I too feel like if I get pg quickly it will be like the mc never happened. I expect that is why the first AF is so hard - brings reality crashing back in. I am pretty sure I am in some kind of denial at the moment and just want to be pg again. So I appreciate all the chat.

Sorry- I'm completely dominating the thread. Sorry for all the self-involved posting.

Thank you.
I'm completely torn. I feel that the only thing that will let me deal with this mc is getting pregnant again asap. But I am so scared. And I also think it would be healthy for us to take a month or two off just to give us some time to get some normality back. Everything has been so screwed up.
Unfortunately this has all happened during the same week as my dad has got a cancer diagnosis. We'll find out tomorrow how bad but stubborn old bastard smokes and drinks and experienced symptoms for almost a year before going to doctor. I guess I'm frightened of what we're going to find out tomorrow when I'm already feeling so vulnerable and desperately looking for a way for everything to be ok. And it seems that everything will be ok when I have a healthy pregnancy as it will be as if the mc didn't happen. Argh, why am I linking the two things? They are clearly unrelated.

Guy when I was awaiting my ERPC the midwife told me to start trying as soon after as I wanted, she said there's no need to wait,
Apparently some Drs advise to wait as it makes it easier to date a subsequent pregnancy.