ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

snoopy I had erpc 10 days ago, bleeding was might and only lasted 5 days and then I had a bit of spotting yesterday. No idea what's going on but I guess that's why this is called the wtf cycle. Have you done pg test?

I'm still so conflicted about ttc. Some days I just ache because we're not ttc right now until at least after first post mc period and I just desperately want to get pregnant because that's the only thing that will make everything OK again. Then the next day I am certain that I can't bear to try yet because it could happen again and everything is so hard right now with my dad so poorly. Some moments I even think maybe never again. The next moment I have no doubt, I think now, asap and of course I want another baby.

Maybe we should think about taking a longer break from ttc. More time to heal.

Regardless I think we're doing the right thing in taking a break of some sort, but it so hard. I'm still grieving for what I lost and I'm now at the start of an anticipatory grieving process for my dad.
Argh. Moan moan moan.

I'm sorry greedy
I'm sorry that there are new faces here.

Just got back from dinner with a friend from work. Everyone's saying I shouldn't go straight back to work if I don't feel up to it, and I know with the hypothyroidism and the mmc I would feel better not working shifts, not carrying heavy equipment, not having abuse screamed at me every weekend. But I don't want to be that person that everybody talks about, sitting in an office. I'm so confused

And why do I still have brown spotting a week after the erpc. The discharge paperwork said it should have stopped after six days. How can I conceive again if the bleeding won't stop?

Hi all,
Hope all is ok. Sorry to see new faces here :(
I'm 4 dpo in the last cycle I can get pregnant before my due date. Scared stiff that it will happen and scared stiff that it won't.

Ho hum.

Hi ultimateduck sorry you find yourself here. Few of us struggling with Xmas at the moment. I'm trying to focus on the new year. New start. But it feels like I'm sticking my head in the sand.
enviousllama I've officially gone cuckoo over TTC and babies. We said we'd have a break until January but I'm epically failing and current trying to figure out when I might ov.
allchatnames I'm not sure about your situation. I've only ever mc later in the first tri. I'm sure someone will be able to help. Might be worth calling your gp or epu for advice.
gr33dy it will happen and guy is right. Doesn't make it any easier to deal with. Hope you're ok. Hugs.

And I hope everyone else is ok?

Well I'm struggling with everything. Even ttc. CD 11 I think so should be getting geared up. Ds has been sick all weekend and now dh seems to have caught same bug. I can't stop thinking about my mcs this year and what went wrong and how I probably won't ever know. I feel like its just going to happen again. And questioning whether i should be trying more to stop it happening. Seem to get pregnant relatively ok (ok probably jinxed that now) but not be able to hold on to my beans. I need to call my gp but I just can't get my head straight enough to make the call. Definitely going cuckoo.

Big hugs gr33dy. It will happen. Remember you might not have even ovulated this cycle while your body gets back on track. Good thing about af arriving is now you're at the start of a brand new fresh normal cycle and your body will be ready to try again. You also know that your body is healed once your cycle gets back to normal. All this is good news.
I know it hurts though and I'm sorry it didn't happen this month for you.

AF got me. No baby on the WTF cycle for me. Thats hit me hard :-(

Ah thank you Guy that makes more sense!

The thread moves quite fast and you there's quite a bit of history on here, so I'm more reading at the moment. Sorry for all the shit times here. I normally feel really happy this time of year, but they are so right, Christmas just makes you feel shitter if you've had a bad run.

I don't get what is happening at all, I mc early at 4 and a half weeks so considering it's just a chemical pregnancy I thought it would be just like a late period, but I'm still bleeding cd12. It seems to start and stop. Last week i thought it was coming to an end and down graded to a panty liner, now it seems like fresh blood this morning and had to put pad on….

I should be gearing up to ovulate and I'm desperate to ttc straight away. I definitely can't ovulate whilst bleeding can I? Not dtd at all because I just don't feel like it when I'm still bleeding, but worry my chances are being dramatically reduced. Told hubby to knock one out in the shower this morning to keep the supply going, but he didn't feel like it!

Anyone else think my bleeding going on too long for a 4 week mc? It sucks. Feels like a constant reminder every time I pop to the loo or there is a gush.
x

Amy you ovulate approximately two weeks before your period is due. So if you have a 28 day cycle, you ovulate about day 14. The first day of your period is day 1. The length of your period doesn't make any difference as far as I know.

Morning ladies,

Tried to catch up there and so sorry to the new ladies finding themselves here but the title does live up to its name!

Guy I am so sorry about your Dad. Hope you are holding up as best as can be. What a shit year for you hope next year is full of good news x

Sending hugs to everyone feeling down.

We have just came back from a weekend away that my Mam paid for as a break from mc for us. It was a lovely hotel and we had a lovely time but I couldn't help but think it was a sympathy trip and we shouldn't have had to be there. Especially when we visited the aquarium, my OH knew I always wanted to go so booked it.. but everyone was there with their children and that hurt. It sounds silly but felt like everyone was looking at me as if to say where is your child?

Anyhow, I would be feeling a lot better if I could work my af out! Its my first af after mc and started last Monday, but if anything it is getting heavier and not lighter... I was hoping this weekend would be when I would ovulate but I'm just so confused and can't find the answer on Dr Google so if anyone can help me my questions is If your af lasts for more than a week, do you still ovulate after 2 weeks, or would it be 1 week after the end of your af or... do you not ovulate?

TIA!

Ps While writing this out my work colleagues have decided to talk about babies and breastfeeding etc etc and just want to punch someone in the face! How insensitive people can be.

Sorry you find yourself here. 'Lost a version of our future' is absolutely the perfect way to describe how I feel too. I don't feel like I lost a baby because it wasn't going to be a baby. But I was nearly 12 weeks so we had spent 6 weeks with this idea of what our future was going to be like. The future didn't change but our idea of it did.

Hi ultimateduck and I'm sorry this has happened to you. I know exactly what you mean about a version of the future. And obviously there is never a good time but Christmas will definitely be hard for us all, it's such a milestone in the year. At least the new year is round the corner and will hopefully seem like a fresh start.

I just had a call from 'the early pregnancy unit' (so much for the sensitive approach) to see how things were going. The woman said they had found "no abnormalities with the embryo" and I could start ttc again but she said she would recommend waiting until my next period. I didn't say that's not what Mumsnet thinks! I was a bit confused about the abnormalities thing but she said it just meant it hadn't been a molar pregnancy. I asked if there was any obvious reason for the mc and she said it was just the wrong egg and the wrong sperm. I forgot to ask if they could tell how old it was - I know it was ok at 6 weeks so would be interested to know when it had stopped growing.

Welcome ultimateduck and sorry you are here.
Well I called the ward and explained mc 4 weeks ago and now brown spotting for 3-4 days and I was worried the infection may not have cleared. I was told 'it could be your period and it is probably just normal' wtf!!! I don't think 'probably' should be used in a medical situation. Get hcg bloods this afternoon so maybe that will help. Properly on knicker watch and feeling shit.
chasing are you still here - how are you doing?

Hello there. I have been lurking for a few days and you all seem so lovely I would like to join you.

I had an mc last Monday at 6 weeks. I wasn't completely surprised as I just didn't feel right, and with my DD I felt pregnant and totally relaxed from the start.

I'm upset though, as we were trying and I feel that I have lost a version of our future. It's also an awful time of year for it with Christmas around the corner.

I'm sorry you are all here, but hoping we can all be of help to eachother. x

Just checking in, will read back later. That's me at CD10.... Here we go again

I'd read about the smep before but hadn't realised it was devised specifically for ttc after mc. It is confusing though as some (most?) people are still bleeding on the 8th day after starting to miscarry, I am only just reaching the end of the bleeding on day 15. Or is that abnormal?

I was going to wait to test until the bleeding had stopped to make sure I had a negative before starting to have sex again. So maybe I will be too late. I guess it is hard to know in the wtf cycle. We will give it a go, if only to get back in the saddle as I know we will both be nervous.

Thank you for asking Cariad and Haribo. I am still hanging in there, at least I am convincing myself I am as I am being sick every day, feel permanently crap and nauseous and am struggling to eat anything very much. It is making me pretty miserable but at the same time I know how lucky I am to have got this far and I freak out just a little bit if the symptoms let up just for a moment.
We have booked an early scan for next Saturday so I guess we will know more then either way.
Sorry for all those having a bad time, I have been keeping up and feel so angry for those who have been treated badly by inconsiderate, or downright nasty people. Thinking of you all xxx

envious

this is the sperm meets egg plan- spermmeetseggplan.com/

It was originally designed for women ttc after mc but i followed it to get pregnant with the baby i lost and i caught in the first cycle. I hope you catch during your WTF cycle, good luck! I'm not even sure if i ovulated though i did get ewcm (so i dtd) 2 weeks before my period arrived so i could have. I'm on CD3 so will let you know how i get on using it this time.

How are you doing purple? Have been thinking of you xx

I think all the envious and angry feelings about others being pregnant is totally normal. I'm due to go to DP's dad's for Christmas, he runs a pub down south and the bar maid that i get on with well is a few weeks ahead of what i would have been. It's going to be so hard seeing her excited :(

I'm here allthequeens :) Thank you for thinking of me.
I'm very hungover today so just been reading and not posting.

I do the same thing as you with worrying when I would miscarry.
I guess we have to just be positive. Even though that's a mammoth task!

Thanks for your kind words Allthequeens and Gr33dyeggs. So sorry you've had to go through this as well.

A trip to EPU tomorrow sounds like a good idea Gr33dyeggs. Thinking of you.

Sorry to hear about your dad Guy - wishing him a very speedy recovery.

How are Brummie and Purple doing?

guy I'm really sorry about your dad. My thoughts are with you.

allthefours I can completely relate to that! baby bombing is just awful! it's certainly one of my biggest struggles right now.

cariad that's exactly where I am. There was one or two left but now all I have is you ladies. I am so sick of the man at the bus stories, you know the oh so and so had 151 mc and now has 75 kids and all is fine. I know people are trying to help but I feel stuck in this lonely place and don't really think anyone out there gets it.

treacle where are you? Hope your ok.

So my Sunday worry is af. I'm due Thursday, and one of my mc was 2 weeks after af due. So now every month I worry about getting a bfp and then count when I might mc. That would be Xmas day. Makes me scared thinking about being pregnant even though that's all I want. I know that's irrational but I'm blaming the hormones.
Housework today, yeah. And mumsnetting hopefully.

alltthe4 its completely normal to feel that way but its awful because you don't want to.
As many have here recently, I was baby bombed last week - a friend from school announced she's due 2 days after I would have been on FB.
guy sorry its such bad news for your dad. I can fully understand most of us wanting this year to end sooner than later!
MsJ horrible colleagues are a nightmare, she sounds a nasty person.
Sorry to the new faces here.

So, I've had brown spotting I thought was period beginning (or optimistically implantation) now its more like (tmi) a discharge when I wipe so I'm staying off tomorrow and going to call EGU to see if they'll see me. Worried its an infection or an ectopic - read about 'prune juice discharge'. Still not had neg urine and as I was getting line eye I had blood on Friday so not signed off by them yet officially. Feeling completely let down by my body.
cariad I felt like you until I got my son. Big hugs.
envious thanks for the fx!

Allthefours - your reaction sounds perfectly normal to me. My BFF is due the day after I would have been in May. Saw her last night, and although I think a conscious effort was made on her part not to talk about it too much, I still found it really difficult, particularly when she was talking about her plans for mat leave in May etc.

AlltheQueens - hope being a designated driver last night wasn't too traumatic. Glad you've received your referral to the bigger hospital (even if the letter was poorly worded). Hope you manage to make your appointment - let us know how it goes. Thinking of you.

Not sure if anyone else can identify with this feeling (and I guess it's different for those who are already parents) but I feel like an inbetweener at the moment. All my close female friends have embarked on this amazing journey into parenthood and I feel that I'm on a completely different chapter to them. I find it so isolating. I'm also petrified that parenthood might never happen for us and that we'll always therefore be the isolated, socially awkward ones.