ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

Thanks purple, I'm glad you saw a heartbeat. I have my fingers crossed for you, it sounds good :)

Hi Haribo, thanks for asking. I have been pretty sick which is fun but taking it as a good sign. My official scan is 31st December but as I was so anxious about everything we paid for a scan on Saturday and much to my relief there was a heart beat. I know it is still early days and it can still go wrong (someone at work has just mc at 11 1/2 weeks which is awful) but feeling much happier. How are you feeling about everything? Am keeping everything crossed that it happens quickly for you now. For all of you actually.
Treacle it is completely understandable that you are feeling this way right now, this was always going to be a tough time for you and the time of year just adds to that. Hopefully when you get past that dreaded date things will start to improve and 2015 will be your year! Thinking of you

Youre right chasing.
My problem is I feel like i should be better by now. Its 7 months on.
Still I think I've been building up to this due date.

Sorry to hear about your phone Amyyy :(
2015 will be our year!

Chasing Great to hear you are on the mend!

Hope everyone else is ok?

I didn't have a chance to read through yesterday as some little shit has stolen my phone. Its been one thing after another this year so I can't wait for 2015!! I'm not even annoyed so much that its money down the drain, its all the photos and notes I had on there. I also took pictures of my first BFPs and I'm gutted to have lost those :( I know that sounds so silly but it brings back happy feelings to look at the picture but nevermind! Hopefully we will have another BFP soon to be excited about.

I've been referred and had my initial appointment but still waiting for another x

I'm finding it quite tough chasing, which is probably why I've been so ill and signed off work. Just wish they understood.

Glad you're in your wtf cycle. Don't push yourself, you've had a really rough time. X

Hi. I've been hovering for a while, too busy to really keep up, sorry.

We did OPK last week so I'm on day ten after positive and DTD. Really can't make up my mind if I even want to test - could in a few days. Had what felt like period cramp yesterday- AF should arrive Sunday.

Dreading either way. I think Christmas is going to be horrible without my babies, even worse if my hormones are at their AF peak. I'm singing in front of 2000 people on Sunday, due to test and due my period - I feel a meltdown coming...

Thanks envious, I'm dreading my due date but otherwise looking forward to xmas. Just a bit fed up of work.
Hence being signed off but that's turned out just as bad now that work are unhappy with me for that.

Good point envious re Mirena but surly that effect goes once the coil is removed? Good luck with your TTC, I have fx for you x

Fantastic post, thank you Guy.

I hadn't heard of a Mirena causing thinning of the womb lining Stocking and couldn't find much with a quick a Google search. I had a Mirena in 2009, had it removed and conceived DS quickly. This year I had my Mirena out at the end of May, conceived mid Aug but it unfortunately ended in MMC.

It is reassuring to know that our awful loses have been due to a sequence of events far our of our control. Though as a control freak I do find it a wee bit frustrating

I like science. Science comforts me. This was nothing I did or didn't do.

guybrush Thats exactly what I was thinking all night on Monday and till I saw the GP Tuesday. I was a bit when he said but I Googled and it is actually "a thing" But I am not entirely convinced it is.

I watched a very interesting docu a few years ago titled War in the Womb or something along those lines, basically explaining what you just said but in long science-y words with images and what not. It was brilliant. It kept referring to "the maternal body" - the bit we basically have no control over and how it doesn't like to spend all that time growing something that isn't viable for whatever reason.

Is thinning lining a side effect of the mirena? I didn't know that.

Don't know if this is true but I would imagine if uterine lining is a bit thin, the fertilised egg just wouldn't implant that month. Never heard of it being a cause of mc.

The thing we have to remind ourselves is that most miscarriages are caused by chromosomal abnormalities. And it isn't surprising that of all the millions of sperm, that some of the resulting fertilised eggs don't divide or develop properly. In these cases, which is the majority something like (80-90%), it doesn't matter how thick your uterine lining is, how much folic acid you took, or if you got pissed and ate rare streak and raw eggs the night before your bfp. Those ones were just never going to develop.
Equally if you have one of the 4 out of 5 pregnancies which does develop normally, none of the above isn't going to make any difference either.

We have just been unlucky but will get lucky next time.

Sorry if any of this is insensitive. I know it's not the way everyone chooses to look at it but I find some comfort in the evidence-based belief that I didn't cause the mc because I had no control over whether or not those cells were right. And there is no more chance of it happening again that there is to any other woman in the world.

I think we're quite similar stocking, i have bad panic attacks.
I just have to get through this week off sick :/
I have my fingers crossed for us all.

UpNorth74 Glad to have made you giggle! My DSis did the same thing earlier when I told her "You're talking like you're a daft 17 year old, its not going to be a disaster if you do get pregnant this month! You're 28 and married and had the coil out, you're supposed to have sex unprotected you moose" Unless this one doesn't stick too

Guybrush & treacle My attitude towards life was, until last year, a very cavalier, shrug it off, let the chips fall where they may sort of thing. Then I got hit by panic attacks and major anxiety seemingly out of nowhere and we put off TTC all year because of it. Then my DFather said he was fed up of seeing me cower and could I please just bloody do something?! (He's actually a very understanding, brilliant father whom I adore but he is incredibly blunt with his words) It did work though I won't be telling him that cos he is also very smug

What do I want? I would love to be pregnant, I absolutely would. I got my past my anxiety (although I am still medicated for it and probably will be for a long time - none of the meds are dangerous to a baby though, I've had 2 GPs and a Psych confirm this for me) but then we MC'd and the last 2 weeks I've gone back to cowering in a corner.

I think if it happens for a second time I will not be able to continue TTC and DH definitely won't be able to. Because of this I wanted to give my womb time to heal, perhaps the effects of Mirena (thinning womb lining) are still affecting it and it hasn't recovered. Of course this is all very speculative but this is why I wanted to leave it a few months. The plaster has been ripped off so to speak and DH & I have decided to just carry on as we are.

According to FF my cycle is 26 days, OPK Positive today, so assuming that, I can start testing at 10 DPO which is Christmas Day...

and for reading my waffling.

upnorth sorry you find yourself here but its full of lovely ladies. Re how long to wait, the medical profession often suggest waiting ttc again for 1 cycle, but there's no proper reason for this... Just helps dating a pregnancy. At your scan you should get confirmation that everything is OK. I was just told to poas until it was negative first time round. Consultant after my erpc said there was no need to wait other than giving your body a break. Everyone's different. Some ladies like getting straight back to it where as others need a break.

Re OPK's - they worked for me last time with the baby we lost. I have a pretty standard 28 day cycle, ovulate on day 14. I got faint lines for 4 days before ovulation (just got a faint today!) and then dark line day of (should be friday.) I test every day at the same time, 1pm (DS's nap time!) to get the most conclusive results. We'll DTD tonight, wednesday, thursday, friday and saturday (as long as ovulation happens when it should) and hope it works!

envious i'll be joining you, i test just after new year as long as i ovulate when i should. Cycle after MC so hoping it all goes back to normal!

Sorry to see more joining, the title is so right - the best shit place to be. Nice to 'see' you again chasing. I'm glad it's finally worked, i hope these 3 cycles fly by xx

purple how are you doing? Do you have a scan date?

Stocking I know it probably feels stressful now but maybe it's a good thing as the decision out of your hands?
similar happened to me and I kicked myself but then I wasn't pregnant anyway.

Been signed off work this week with stress and headaches. Ho hum.

Stocking maybe just a relaxed 'see what happens without obsessing' attitude is not such a bad thing? What do you think you want happen this month?

Think I'm ovulating. I don't track or do opks but keep aware of cm and things. I'm at 19 days past natural miscarriage and 17 days past erpc and I usually have a 35-ish day cycle so seems ok. Although we're not ttc this month, I'm hoping that means everything is in working order.
Still dithering about when to ttc.