ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

brummie YAY Those early scans with that tiny thud thud are amazing, I had a 7 week private scan with my second DD and it was fascinating, especially when compared to the 12 week one - such a huge change in 5 weeks, here is hoping you get the same! DH has said he wants us to have an early scan when I get a BFP again, and for £99 to have that early reassurance will be money well spent.

treacle I can't relate to your work issues as I've been a SAHM for almost 7 years now, but please don't feel like you have to explain yourself to anyone. Including your superiors - your GPs note is explanation enough and you shouldn't have to go into personal details about why. Anxiety is a bitch, and she does horrible things to us.

If I catch this cycle my DD will be early September, around the same time that DHs son was due (he was 12 days late) so I am a tad worried about that as I don't know how DH will react/cope with a new baby born at the same time as his DS. I'm trying to practice a lot of mindfulness right now - what will be, will be.

Oh Brummie, I'm actually in tears for you.
I'm so pleased. At least you can enjoy christmas knowing your little bean is in there xxx

As for me, I reckon my body has been waiting for this cycle as my due date would be 20th September. Which is my dh's birthday and his brothers too. It's a tradition obviously :p
My SIL is also ttc and we reckon we will both fall pregnant this month haha.

Awhhh brummie so very happy for you

Awe brummiegirl I'm so pleased, congrats!!!

Hi all. I hope you are doing ok.

Treacle I'm thinking of you - big hugs. At least you are off work now and hopefully your counselling won't be too long.

Purple glad to hear it's going well with you.

Guy you are absolutely right, there often is nothing anyone can do. My sister once said "it's a million step process to make a little person and if one of those steps goes wrong, the whole lot falls apart"

Really if it's going to stick, it will stick. I tortured myself thinking I was doing something wrong and it breaks my heart to see others do the same. Treacle is absolutely right, you can't live your life thinking "I might be pregnant", you have to get on and pray the magic is working on your behalf.

Anyway bit of an update. I'm 6+ 5 and I had an early scan at the hospital today and I saw a heartbeat. Couldn't believe it. The sonographer was so kind and when she said "Merry Christmas" to me, I just broke down.

After having 2 previous scans that broke my heart. Today was a shining light. Clearly not safe yet but it's a start.

I'm thinking of you all and hope you get your sticky beans soon!!!! xx

Snoopy, it sounds like you're in a similar place to me. Although I've done the silly thing and left it so long without being signed off that now nobody realises why I'm off ill.
I'd say go and get signed off. You can deal with them when you get back and you'll feel stronger for it.

My worry is that I'll be worrying over xmas that people are watching me thinking oh she's not ill. They haven't really understood that I'm off with illness caused by stress.

I'm not sure about the baby aspirin, ive not looked into it myself.

Treaclepie I'm sorry to hear work are so rubbish. I know how you're feeling.

I'm at work now. Want to know what I'm doing?! Wrapping presents that have been donated for the children in care on our borough whilst listening to the two other women in the office talk about rosters for all the other pregnant women on my borough who didn't miscarry

My line manager is pressurising me to go back to my team, working shifts and wants me to carry a piece of equipment that only a few other people are trained to use. I told him yesterday that I didn't feel up to it anymore and he said that if I didn't do it I would be inconveniencing other people! Today, in front of everyone, he's given me some phone numbers to call if I feel stressed at work, I feel so ashamed.

My gp said she would sign me off if I need it but then I'm scared people will just laugh at me. No one seems to understand that I'm just really deeply, painfully sad inside and I'm really not up to being in aggressive, confrontational situations yet.

Changing topic to TTC. My GP said there would be nothing wrong with taking a baby aspirin a day if I get pregnant agin just in case. What does everyone else think about this advice?

*that

Back from the doctors. He's given me a different spray to use.
Dreading work calling to see if im going in the rest of the week (not the they should as I'm signed off by the doctor this week).

I had faint lines at 8DPO and 10DPO and got a BFP at 12DPO with a Clearblue digital. As much as I don't want to test early, as its Christmas Day I can't think of a better time to discover I'm pregnant if I am so I will probably definitely buy a Clearblue digital to do that morning.

eggs yep the June thread. Difficult to see it pop up in active but can't bring myself to hide it!

treacle I hope the doc can help.

Im with DPs family over Christmas and rumours will be rife if I don't drink so I plan to have a glass of wine, I'll regret it if I'm not pregnant. I drank heavily before I realised I was pregnant with DS and he's perfect (not that I'm saying you should get wasted!!) so don't beat yourself up about a glass. I'd be due to test 2nd of jab (if I wait for 14dpo).

amyy you could test tomorrow as you'd be 10dpo but be prepared for a BFN as it is early. Neither of my pregnancies showed up until 12dpo.

I'd say 10DPO, that's the earliest I've ever tested.

Thanks for the kind comments! I ended up having to get a new contract phone which will come sometime today. I'm far too dependant on the bloody thing!

North Me too, I don't know what to do. My dad has us all round on boxing day and was over the moon with himself buying bottles of shots to go with games he has bought yesterday and I didn't know what to say.

My head is all mashed up atm and I can't remember how soon I can test? I am 99% sure I ov'd last Sunday... so when is the earliest I am able to test? Silly question I just can't think straight sorry!

Mmmmmm codeine

Ugh treacle sinus pain is absolutely grim. I find coedine helps a bit. Big sympathy.

Thank you x
I'm back off to the doctors this morning as my sinus pains got worse.
Just glad I'm off work.

Also, I agree. Just have a glass of wine if you want it. Baby won't take anything from you until after you find out.
I've been trying over a year now and miscarried despite not drinking or doing anything wrong. I can't live every cycle as if im pregnant.

treacle if you're not well enough for work - you shouldn't be there. It's sad that people don't understand the feelings following mc and expect you to move on and don't realise there will always be triggers setting you back.

stocking sorry to hear of your and your DH worries - MC certainly is an unneeded addition. As for testing, I've never tested early, always wait til AF late.

north People will undoubtedly disagree with me but I am having the occasional small glass of wine despite TTC. I enjoy it, and will continue to do so until I have a BFP.

purple lovely to hear things are going well with lots of symptoms.

amyyy sorry your phone and pictures have gone. Too late now but I have dropbox which somehow automatically uploads my pics to it when I'm home.

haribo are the twins from june 15? I've not been on for a while. I hope the barmaid stays behind the bar then it hopefully won't be as tough! I know 3 people in RL due in June now :-(

A course I was supposed to be on today has been cancelled so usual crappy day ahead.

Would have been looking forward to my day off tomorrow but I have a meeting about my complaint at the hospital. And its on the ward I complained about. Intimidating or what!

Hugs and thanks for reading if you got this far.

north I've just started the 2WW and my first day of testing is Christmas Day... But whether I do or not I just don't know, I keep thinking that if I'd waited till my period was late I wouldn't have known I was pregnant, I would have assumed my 1 day late period was just unusually heavy this month, rather than being a 4 week MC. So this time do I test early or do I leave it? Sigh.

Early testing at Christmas - what would you do?

AF is due on boxing day, I've been abstaining from all booze for about 3 months now. I and am totally torn on whether to test early. Is be able to have a few glasses of bubbles on Christmas day of its a BFN. But based ony reaction to AF the last few cycles, it might just get me too upset and emotional.

Is anyone else on th 2ww and wondering about the same thing ?

Haha thanks ladies xxx
Im hoping my headaches start going off though. If they don't I'll have to go back :/

*breaks not makes

treacle Bollocks to work, bollocks to them and the horse they rode in on. GPs will not sign you off for stress unless they feel there is a very real need for it. I love how people think they know more than a GP. Nope you don't, shut up.

We were mostly concerned about DH after the baby is born - he lost his 4 week old son to SIDS - and about me during pregnancy with my MH issues but never once thought we'd be dealing with a MC. Its added an extra layer to some already not so light worries. I was watching him with my DDs last night and it makes my heart break, he deserves to be a father again so much.

purple so glad you got to see the heartbeat, it must feel really reassuring. I guess we'll worry until the day these babies are born, pregnancy after MC must feel so much hard in terms of worry. Sorry to hear about your colleague but i've got everything crossed for you.

I'm doing okay, i should ovulate by the end of this week so i'm feeling better that we can actually do something about being pregnant and out of the waiting and uncertainty (for now!). Little things get me and it hits in a wave. There was a post (you probably saw) about a lady pregnant with twins and it really hit me. Everyone was commenting saying they couldn't cope/imagine and all i could think was how lucky she was to have 2. I spent most of that evening crying which surprised me. I'm not sure we ever get over it? Over christmas we will be with DP's family at his dads pub and the barmaid there who i get on with well is a few weeks further on than i should have been, i imagine that will be hard (i've almost backed out a few times just at the thought of it!).

Treacle i'm sorry your having such a tough time. I hope you get your next appointment through soon. Screw work, you need to put yourself first and look after your health both physically and emotionally xx

Aww thanks Treacle I'm sure it will be hun!

Purple Lovely news, you take care!