ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

I've just made Frozen cupcakes with my DDs (and added a photo for you all I am a rubbish baker but these seem to have come out and been decorated relatively well compared to my usual and have actually helped me get into the Christmas spirit.

Christmas table runners, aprons etc all in the washing machine. Dug all of my table decs out. DH will be back soon so he can extend the table for me so I can make it look pretty then dump a load of crap on it tomorrow morning

Out tomorrow for a bit of pampering with DDs whilst DH picks up DSS and waits for the online food shop to come, then DSIL is hosting a Christmas party in the afternoon. For some mad reason we've decided to have DNeph and DNiece overnight so thats 5 kids - 12, 6, 4, 3 and 1 for 48 hours.

We'd planned to tell wider family members about the pregnancy on Christmas Day so will probably have a few tears as we can't do that now.

I'm in the old git camp too! Just turned 37 and can hear a big clock ticking. A year from now our lives will be so different. Take care everyone x

Snoopy Can't help there but I would imagine it is just the wtf cycle living up to it's name! Great excuse to dtd more ;)

Greedy I am so not in the festive spirit one little bit, which is sad I usually enjoy Christmas time! I think I have also woke up on the wrong side of the bed today as I am very snappy for no reason at all! I'm just ready for this year to be over and I don't think I will be happy until it is 2015!

guy I completely understand you feeling like that and thats how I dealt with it b4 I found out an infection might have caused it. Therefore going through my mind now is 'that one was healthy and i lost it and I might still have a mc caused by wrong egg wrong sperm'. I feel utterly shit today and everyone else seems full of Christmas cheer and I don't want to bring them down.

Feel bad, we DTD last night even though DH didn't get home from work until midnight, but he wants a baby as much as I do.

Well I my cervix is soft, very high and I think it's open (couldn't find it at first) and I have ewcm. been like this for a couple of days. Put all this into ovia and yesterday it said I was in my fertile period but today it has changed its bloody mind and moved it to New Years! Glow says I'm fertile. I know this is my wtf cycle but wtf?

Oh well just have to keep doing it until something turns up fwink

Stocking I agree. My morning sickness stopped the day before we found out I had mc (Sort of a give-away as I had had it so bad!) I got to a point where I was happy to have ms as I was told (albeit by family) that ms meant everything was going well. But my baby's heart had stopped beating almost 4 weeks before so unfortunately that wasn't the case. I would take all the symptoms in the world if it meant having my baby back
:(

With the age thing, I think its unfair to compare older and younger. There's no rule in life to say what age you should start a family/ have children. I think it all boils down to when you feel ready. I appreciate that medically it can be a bit more difficult the older you become, however I read that up to 30 is classed as a young parent. 30-40 is average and over 40 was classed as 'mature'

Anyway enough whinging from me! Hope everyone is well today? How are our pregnant ladies doing?

I think the hardest thing for me was the pregnancy symptoms disappearing. In each of the 3 pregnancies within a few weeks I was physically exhausted, heightened smell (DH had a Jack and coke one night and I had to leave the room as the smell made me feel sick) and my boobs had started to change. Then it all stopped. The tiredness is how I clicked that I was pregnant each time, it starts early on lasts till about 12 weeks.

chasing I can't agree more re wanting that baby. I feel exactly the same - before I just wanted 'a' baby with DH, then I got pregnant and MCd and I just want that baby which isn't an option now, and I'm slowly getting over that. I was so wonky on even wanting a baby, even after I had the coil out, but the last few weeks have really cemented my feelings re wanting to add to our family.

I have a cousin who struggled to conceive and eventually did on her first cycle of Clomid and baby is now 1 but if I hear her say "I appreciate/love my child more because I struggled to conceive" I will flip my lid. There's a few others who battled infertility who say similar things and it gets my blood boiling. Just because I had my babies easily doesn't mean I love them less, and DH was especially annoyed at them - yes infertility is awful but they've never MCd or lost a 4 week old baby to SIDS. DH was horrified at the comments.

Base line: nobody loves their child more than anyone else regardless of how easy/hard it was to conceive or any previous losses.

I'm not offended, I have always worried about the age thing but I just didn't meet the right person until later. I never thought I would be doing all this so late when I was younger. If it reaassures anyone who is a bit older though, when I booked in my mw told me I am a fairly average age at my local hospital so it can't be that bad.

I don't mind being reminded that I have plenty of time. I am nearly 30 and had dd when I was 27. I have lots of mum friends but most of them I met since dd and they are in their late 30s. My close friends from before dd are not parents yet. As plenty of people are ttc with the pressure of time against them, I feel lucky to have a few years before I need to think about declining fertility. I guess that's what people mean when they say it. The thing is what is comforting to some people is not to others. For me, the most comforting thought I have about my mc is that I didn't lose a baby because it never would have been a baby- physically, it never would have developed. So I don't feel any attachment to it or like there would have been a child that there won't be now. What I did feel attachment to was the 5 weeks of thinking it was a baby and all the future plans I had made. That's what I had to rethink but once I accepted that it would never have happened, I came to terms with it.
But I know that is definitely not the way lots of people choose to think about it so I would never try to apply those feelings to someone else's experience because plenty of don't feel that way and it would feel like I was minimising their loss. Equally plenty of people said things to me that were kindly meant but for me were upsetting and unhelpful.
I tend to assume most people are trying to be nice even if they are failing at it!

Yep MsJ we're grieving the ones we lost. Definitely feeling that this morning after yesterday's combination of hospital admitting mistakes were made and then seeing my friends 9 month old. And this morning I made the mistake of reading OH story on miscarriage and premature birth.

I hope those of you wanting to loose weight find motivation in the NY!

I'm 38 so one of the oldest here. No-one is going to tell me I've got loads of time! But it's so irrelevant to women of any age. It's this baby we wanted and this baby we are grieving.

I am also overweight and was doing really well on slimming world before the mc. I had previously put on loads while bf as my son wasn't gaining weight and the HVs and mws kept telling me to eat more biscuits. Absolute bollocks of course - he had a tongue tie. But it got me into the habit of eating too much and I put on about 3 stone in the year after birth.

I want to have a healthy body for my son and my future baby. So much. But carbohydrates quell the sadness.

Also 24 and have heard all the, 'your so young, you have so much time!'. The baby we lost would have been born just after my 25th.

Oh no snoopy! Kidney infections are awful aren't they :(
I'm trying to flush this out. I do not want antibiotics!!!

chasing, I'm 24. I get those things all the time... "oh you're so young, you have tme".
Gahhh!

I'm almost 22 but same as you chasing I've been told how young I am so we have all the time in the world! OH is 26 Saturday and we would like in an ideal world a baby next year and another 3 year after to complete our family. I've always been more mature so age has never been something I think of. We have a happy loving home ready for a baby and that's what matters.

OMG that should read NOT PAST IT, (I've been up since before five, probably should go to bed!)

Greedy and purplegiraffe you are most certainly past it!

I didn't mean to offend anyone, it's just every time I open a newspaper or turn on the tv there seems to be some nonsense about women not being able to have it all or leaving it too late because they were too busy getting an education or working or just generally enjoying life like a normal human being should and it makes me so anxious. It's so unfair and unnecessary, I know most of these statistics are crap anyway that are based on a French census from centuries ago.

Treacle I once projectile vomited at a gp when my uti turned into a kidney infection, not my finest hour!

I'm 36! Way past it!

Well I must be ancient. 35 next and OH 45 :-o

AAARRGGHH! After talking about water infections earlier, I think I've got one. I hope not :( I'd been doing so well not getting them and really don't want antibiotics over xmas.

snoopy i totally understand what you mean but you will have a baby. Your young, it will happen, it'l just take a little longer than you thought. We had DS before all the extras (happy accident - can hardly believe they happen!) and i miss that we didn't get the extra's but we've decided to have a 2nd before thinking about the extra's. You'll appreciate you did all those things when you've got a baby in your arms i promise.

envious i started testing at 4 weeks post MC in my WTF cycle, AF showed up at 5 weeks. No harm in testing is there! All those positive OPKs could mean a positive test, i pee'd on an OPK before buying a pregnancy test with the baby we lost.

Chasing so pleased to hear your starting to feel a little better. It's hard to pull yourself out of the fog, and the fog sometimes descends again but i hope you can have a lovely Christmas with your family:)