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Conception

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Original poster

Having a second baby whilst on benefits?

79 replies

FlowersOnTheWindowSeal · 27/09/2014 18:33

No judgement please.

I have one PFB DD aged 4 and desperately want another baby I had a ectopic 7 months ago and all though that baby wasn't planned and my DP left me I wanted it so much, I was happy and content with it. I'm back with my DP now and he's promised to never leave again but doesn't want children for years yet, but I just can't stop thinking about the baby that was suppose to be here and the fact that I want another one SO badly!

I'm ashamed to admit it but I stopped taking my pill which he doesn't know about in hoping I'd fall pregnant, even though he may leave and I'm still in IS from my DD as I fell pregnant at 17.

I don't know what to do i want this so badly :( but I'm scared of getting judged for having DC #2 whilst on IS and with a different father for the baby

OP posts:
Gemerama82 · 27/09/2014 18:38

I'm sorry about your ectopic. However for so many reasons ( the fact your partner doesn't want a child yet, the fact your relationship doesn't sound stable and the fact you are stretched financially) I wouldn't have thought it was a very good idea.

rainbowinmyroom · 27/09/2014 18:37

No judgement? What do you want people to say: that lying to your come and go partner and bringing a child into the world that one parent doesn't want and you cannot support is a good idea?

I hope this is a wind up.

Ragwort · 27/09/2014 18:36

Nothing to do with whether you are on benefits or not but is it fair to have a child if your DP doesn't want one? If your DD is 4 and you were pregnant at 17 then am I right in that you are just 21 - you have years ahead of you to have another child, with a partner who wants to be a dad.

Please don't rush into getting pregnant by 'forgetting' to use contraception.

Katz · 27/09/2014 18:35

Benefits aside, You need to tell him you've stopped taking the pill, he has a right to know that his actions may father a child.