Having a second baby whilst on benefits?

Gemerama, if the thread IS a wind-up, it's probably UKIP scouting the territory...

Do what you like - you're not going to listen to advice anyway, are you? FWIW, I think you're vile for stopping contraception without telling your "partner."
And of course, you'll cope financially.

I would wait until your DP is ready, it's the right thing to do I think.
I was a very young mum and waited until DS1 was 9 and I got myself settled and finished my degree before having another baby. My DC have always got on I don't think age gaps matter. I don't think there is any rush but I do understand your longing for another baby.
I wouldn't judge about being on benefits. I think around 90% of families with DC claim some sort of benefit.

Rainbow has said what a LOT of people will be thinking, me included. I'm all in favour of the welfare state, but I'm also all in favour of people taking responsibility for their lives.

OP, don't lie to your DP. How will he feel when he finds out? I think you need to mature a little before you have another child, if you think deceiving someone like this is acceptable.

For god sake grow up it doesn't matter what she you are when you have another child you've got years Ahead of you. Rather than have another child while on benefits get on and get a job be a role model to your daughter? what sort of example are you setting to her?

Regardless of what your oh has said if he finds out you've tricked him into pregnancy he'd have good bloody grounds to leave you.

Maybe get some counselling about the lost pregnancy if you think that's what's fuelling these feelings?

You sound extremely immature and I'm shocked at your eagerness to trick your boyfriend into having a baby. Have another child if and when you can support it yourself.

The more i think about it, the more I wonder if this thread is a wind up

How is it stable? He walked out on you recently when you were pregnant and now you are lying to him and trying to trap him. It's not what I would call a healthy relationship!

Sorry, I have to agree, you sound immature and selfish. If your partner doesn't want a baby yet then you shouldn't trick him. You have 4 years until you're 25, so why the rush?

To be fair op rainbow has just said what most people will be thinking.

Maturity doesn't always come with age, your age doesn't matter. It's your actions that define you.

PMSL. Sorry but you don't get to dictate who posts and how.

How unpleasant, too, to lie to someone so you get what you want, no regard for his feelings and that he doesn't want a child.

And you seriously think this is okay for you, but others should just show their support?

That is really immature.

You are being very silly and selfish. Don't trick your partner. Don't have another child with a man who has left you in the past. Don't have a child you can't support. All just because you have this ideal of two children by 25. You sound very immature.

You can't ask people not to judge you when what you are attempting is just so bad.

It's not fair to your DP who has openly told you he doesn't want another child just yet to trick him into it. Forget the fact that you can't afford the child and your relationship isn't stable, it's all just wrong.

You don't sound very mature at all. How would you feel growing up as that future child?!

My mum had me at 20 and I loved how close we were, I always wanted to be a young mum and have kids by 23. But that age came and went and I was like 'nope, not ready' didn't have a steady job and living with my boyfriend. I personally think that being settled and happy is the best atmosphere to bring a child into.
I am 27 now, still so young but much more settled and I am 6 weeks pregnant (suffered MC in June) but don't worry about the whole 'being young' thing!!

You should never ever trap someone into having a baby. It's just a disaster waiting to happen.

I had my second child ten years after my first because I got divorced and it took me that long to find someone I wanted to go through it all again with. Why settle for less than the perfect partner? Having a child is hard enough as it is!

You are only 21. Plenty of time to get a job, find a partner who wants a stable relationship and child.

You'll find as you get older you don't actually feel it. You don't hit 25 and become ancient! I'm 32 and don't feel old at all. I feel I will be a far better mum now than I would have been 10 years ago.

FGS. So because what you want is the most important thing, you bring a child into the world by lying to some guy who doesn't want a kid and is a come and go relationship and the good ol' welfare state has to pick up the tab.

No wonder freaks like UKIP are gaining power.

x post with everyone!

I'm not going to judge you and it's not the benefits I particularly care about.

why do you want to have a baby with a man who left you so easily? you are so young and should find someone who is supportive of you. I hope I don't sound patronising, I'm in my early 20's and had a baby at 19. I got married (not to my DS's bio-dad) before thinking about another baby.

Have a baby with someone who wants a baby. No good can come from trapping a man. You are so young, you have years to have a baby! Don't rush!