Having a second baby whilst on benefits?

May be wrong but think there may be a link stis can cause tube issues which could cause ectip pg.
Either way STI??
You cant always have what you want. 1/x babies will have disabilities.
Your partner dpesnt want a baby.
Was the first an accident or was that on purpose too.

I think people should have kids young- but only if they want them. Both of them.
You will most likely have lots of partners in the next few years. Why make this 1 into the one?

If my SIl had had lids with all bf there would be about 10 by now.

I am only 1 of 2 couples we know who have been together since 20.
You will likely be alone with 2 kids- you may be ok with that but what about the Dads but mainly the kids. How selfish to choose that for a child.
Also condoms should be the first choice if you catch something truly nasty who will look after the DC?

There is a lot to judge here op.

Don't be shocked if he promptly dumps you upon finding out you've trapped him into parenthood.

You do realise that your partner will dump you as soon as you get pregnant, don't you OP. If he left you before I can guarantee he'll do it again. You're being very unfair to your daughter and if you get pregnant you are also being unfair to your next baby. Keep in mind they will someday turn into stroppy teenagers and by gad they're going to have so much dirt to throw into your face if you do this.

Unemployed, single mum through choice is a dam sight worse that a girl/woman that is in that situation because of circumstances beyond their control. Never mind waiting until your little girl grows up a bit, how about waiting until YOU grow up. Sorry to be harse OP but you don't seem to want to listen to those that have a lot of good advice for you.

He doesn't wear condoms (presumably ever if contraception is a woman's job?). You've been 'stable' for 7 months. On the basis that you didn't pick him up at a local monastery, I sincerely hope you both had a full set of STI checks before you decided to sleep together.

Tricking someone into fatherhood even if he's a bloody idiot not to take some responsibility of his own is a shitty thing to do. The reason you're ashamed is because you know it's a shitty thing to do.

What about your DD in all this? If you jump into this it could work out, but it could also end with you stuck on benefits with two small children while DP buggers off again. You have time on your side to cement your relationship, find work and provide stability before adding more kids.

You obviously really want another child and it must be hard being with someone who doesn't want the same things as you. I agree with what most other people have said, you shouldn't trick him into having a baby. Sit down and have another talk about it. I hope you sort things out.

I am sorry for your etopic pregnancy. They happen for a multitude of reasons and I seriously think you need to see someone to help grieve for your lost pregnancy.

But - to trick someone into being a sperm donor (let's face it - that's all you want) is just scummy behaviour.

regardless of you being on benefits -do you not think it's about time you starting contributing back into the society that supported you when you needed it?? Or is the answer to sit at home doing puzzles and baking for another 4 years the answer.

Stop looking for a free ride and grow up.

Yes - anyone can have a happy accident and anyone can end up on benefits. The OP is planning for a happy accident and is already on benefits. Do you see the massive difference there?

I suspect you do and are giving things a big old stir on a quiet Saturday night.

If you want another baby go for it. Anyone can have a happy accident and anyone can end up on benefits.

There is nothing wrong with being a SAHM and a partner being a breadwinner or someone studying at college - all of which you and your partner want. So why not let him be the breadwinner and not need benefits to fund your choices?

Hi flowers

I am young too (23) and DH and I both want kids young and are trying for our first. Age doesn't really matter in my opinion but I do think finances mattwr. I understand that you want a sibling for your LO and for them to be close in age but it is such a big decision. We have money saved for when a baby comes but I imagine that being on benefits and with a child already will be really difficult. I your partner also does not know that you may get pregnant this could also be challenging. To be honest I think it is better to be open and honest so that you can make the decision together and be prepared as I am terrified about the cost of a baby and we both have jobs and a mortgage! I know it will probably be a difficult decision but I think you should talk to him about it, he may feel the same as you in which case good luck as it sounds like a tough road agead

I hope this is a wind up, but it pisses me off so much that actually situations like this are far too common. Grow the hell op, take some responsibility and get a flipping life, seriously. Why should I have waited 10 years to find the right man and be financially stable to support a family, and silly little girls like you think it's fine to bring some poor child into the world and expect to the tax payer to look after you? Yes, im judging.

Let's hope so Lucy.

Dd not DS

Doesn't seem like you'll listen to anyone here op. It's all very well enjoying playing with your chn ... but will you be a positive role model for them? On benefits, got pregnant at 17, tricked a man into having a baby he doesn't want... You need to do the right thing by yourself and your DS.

By the way, I think this post is a wind-up. No one can be that brazen, surely.

Get a job.

He sounds like an utter arsehole to be honest. And you sound very vulnerable and grieving. Go and get some counselling. Get yourself a job and in a better place for your dd financially and emotionally. Meet someone better who wants to be a good husband and step dad to your dd. Then and only then even consider another child.

Agree with sirchenjin, Get yourself a job and someone who actually wants to be a father first. Like a responsible adult

but that doesn't mean you should trap someone into it. maybe have some councelling sorry for the loss of your DC

*Hit enter by mistake sorry!

but that doesn't mean you should trap someone into it. maybe have some councelling sorry for the loss of your DC

*Hit enter by mistake sorry!

Have you ever wanted to be on Tv because Jeremy Kyle would love this thread?

Seriously grow up before having another child, tricking your DP is not the way forward in a grown up relationship.

Rainbow has a fair point. I agree with her /him. I'm an old mum, I waited until I could afford children before going ahead and having them rather than getting pregnant with the intention of other people funding them. And the fact that you are going against what dp want is very selfish and immature.

very sensible advice sirchenjin

being a single parent doesn't faze me

Oh what a catch the pair of you sound

Him dumping his pregnant girlfriend and you tricking your boyfriend into having a child he doesnt want which no doubt he'll run from as soon as he hears the news and you'll be left as a single parent of another baby who doesnt see its father.

So much to look forward to havent you?

Not sure why you posted, you're clearly going to do whatever you like regardless of the responses here.