40+ and TTC? Join the club...

Sorry I meant to say fertility monitor gave peak on those days. The internet cheapie stark white and clearblue dual flashing so they are all disagreeing ! Who would have though that tiny plastic sticks could have such an effect on my life !!

I hate those bloody fertility monitors! My cheapie internet opks have never let me down

*Pessi. Bloody autocorrect!!

Peas the fertility monitor is looking out for an increase in oestrogen, that's what gives you the high. You will get a peak if it then detects LH, if it misses the surge it gets stuck on high until AF arrives.

I went a bit mad this month and used three different types of opk. I am on day 13. Fertility monitor gave me a high on 11 and 12 which I have never in my life got, internet cheapie negative every day. Dual clearblue started flashing on day 12 and today but no solid. Don't know which one to believe...but think the fertility monitor is a shameless liar !!

*skim

SS they are saying to DTD on Sunday too just incase you ovulate late, it's a precautionary thing. In the sperm meets egg plan they recommend similar, having sex up until OV, then waiting a day then having sex again.

Personally it really depends on how we feel. Sometimes I do make is DTD again after OV but sometimes I can tell my DP is really not in the mood and just let the poor man sleep.

I skin read that study and it would sure explain why we caught straight away on the eve of my 37th birthday!

Newera do you have sex after you have ov'd?

Gosh, this is interesting.

I would do exactly as the nurse said

The nurse who scanned me yesterday told me not to have sex last night but tonight (Wednesday), Friday and Sunday. Now, I know I will ovulate on Thursday or Friday so there is no point in sex on Sunday. My DH also has performance issues around ov and so I don't want to hassle him on consecutive nights. What would you do? Sex tonight and Friday?

Gum I thought exactly the same thing this morning. It's not so much a timing thing, it's a quality of eggs and sperm thing. The egg could get fertilised every month but there is a process within implantation where the uterus won't let the egg implant if it thinks it is defective. So we think we aren't catching the egg, but we possibly are.

OH saw the doc re. his sperm sample and now just has to DTD and drop it off. I'm going to try and make him do it this week but I suspect it will be next as right now the doctor isn't even sure which hospital the labs are situated in

awomb, that is actually very good timing. I am not sure if I read it here, but somewhere I read that often by the time we get a positive opk it may be too late, because for some people the positive opk comes very close to the egg being released and the sperm should all be there waiting already. There are many theories though. I keep hearing that if you do it every two to three days once AF has gone, then you are likely to hit the egg. I think our problems lie not in timing, but rather in the quality of the eggs, hormonal,imbalances and other issues related to aging.

cloudjumper , I think I am coming to terms with the idea of stopping ttc. I am certainly tired of the effort it requires but seeing greens little one's scan has made me rather . I would love to get to that stage again. With my recent history of miscarriages it is sad to finish this journey without the joy I had hoped for, certainly a happy ending would make the journey away from all things ttc and pregnancy easier.

A sperm shag lol. Never heard that phrase

I would say fuck it and jump on your OH anyway and get it done as then he doesn't have to come near you for three weeks if he doesn't want to afterwards.

It's times like those when I wish there was something in particular that really turned to switch on for OH. You know like heels or a leather basque. He has a low sex drive so if he was left to his own devices would only pester me for sex about once a month.

Argh, got a positive OPK today, but nothing doing tonight. I have to get up mega early for work and it would be very obviously a sperm shag, which is a massive turn off for DP. Did it last night, so hopefully they're still swimming. It's so hard, shagging to the calendar, isn't it?

i have fallen pg endless times (more than ten and lost them all) dtd every 2-3 days over the fertile window. Never daily. my successful pregnancies have similarily had a low chance to happen (maybe dtd twice a week, no more, I have no sex drive whatsoever). But i guess here again everyone is different....

AWomb this is something I ponder every cycle. I shall tell you what I have been told.

NHS nurse: once every three days across the month, do not use opks

Acupuncture therapist 1: DTD every other day across fertile window

Acupuncture therapist 2: DTD every day across fertile window unless male has low sperm count

We have been TTC for a long time now so we have tried every which way. The month I fell pregnant with my son we had sex once in the evening and once the following morning, I have no idea how close to ovulation though because we weren't trying. The next two non viable pregnancies we had sex every day.

Great stuff, Squid.

I've got another thread going about how frequently one should DTD. Every day during the fertile window? Every other day? Any ideas gratefully received. DP has a low-ish percentage of sperm antibodies, not sure whether that changes anything.

Oooo! I've just returned from the scan of my ovaries (day 14) and I have two eggs ready to pop! One on each side! Doesn't guarantee that either of them are viable though

Green, so many congratulations on your lovely pregnancy.

Green....wonderful and very clear photo!!! Ohhhh very happy for you and time to enjoy your pg!!!

I am so happy for you Green. Just so thrilled that all is well with your little one.

Hang in there Grizzer, it may well be implantation . I know it is a total head fry, but you will make it. Hold tight.

As for me, I am inching closer to the end of ttc. I really do think this has been my last month of ttc. I have exactly one digi preg test in the house. I am not buying anymore, and I will only use it if AF doesn't arrive by Monday (my 48th birthday). However, judging by my chart, it is likely I will see AF either Sunday or Monday (although last month it wasn't until 15 dpo).Monday will be 14 dpo, so I'll either get AF, BFN or BFP...Anyway temperatures are very average - no nice high ones, so I am not expecting great things.

Awwww Green 20 weeks already!!!! Glad everything is going well & hope you are able to relax a little for the rest of the time. What's your due date?
I am all over the place at the moment. Had a couple of red spots on Saturday, thought AF was going to be early. Nothing since but still got some mild cramping. Not actually due til weds & I'm certain AF is coming but my heart keeps thinking maybe it's just 'stretching' cramps & not AF cramps!
When I was pregnant with dd I thought AF was coming & didn't have a positive test til I was a week late so the hope doesn't go until it's actually here. It's a total head fry!!!!

Been lurking and keeping up with your journeys - i know it is such hard work TTC in your forties but you are all so strong and inspirational. You kept me going with your wisdom, empathy and understanding and made me feel like it was possible. Thank you.

Just wanted to let you know that I had my 20 week scan today and everything looks good and nicely normal. I can feel the baby moving now which is taking some of my anxiety away (until I start stressing it isn't moving enough obviously ). Its a boy .

For those that don't know me - my DP and I are both 45 - we have been TTC for 2 years and during that time have had 1 MMC at 12 weeks and 1 Blighted Ovum at 8 weeks. Accepting that my crap quality eggs were the likely culprit we started donor egg IVF in June this year, conceived twins but sadly lost one at 9 weeks. We are starting to be hopeful that this one sticks around and makes it. Where there is a will there is a way and all that it, and even it wasn't the quite the way I thought it would happen we are thrilled nonetheless.

Good luck

xxx

Argh! I hope I haven't contributed to your bad day, NewEra. I will henceforth shut my gob about stats. I'm on my first cycle of Clomid after convincing my doctor to refer me to a fertility consultant, whom I then persuaded to give me six months of Clomid at 100mg. When I told him I wanted the chance of popping more than one egg out per cycle he went like this: but gave me my wish. I've heard the reports of Clomid thinning a woman's uterine lining but I don't honestly care anymore, I just want to be able to say I actually did something, you know?