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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

40+ and TTC? Join the club...

996 replies

cloudjumper · 24/09/2014 13:32

To continue the support for everyone 40 and over who is or wants ttc. Lots of hand-holding and understanding, we're all together in the uphill struggle.

OP posts:
reni1 · 04/02/2015 14:15

Mustbe- I just take pregnacare or own brand conception (if I remember), the formula seems identical for most. Some red wine in the first half of the month, purely for the phyto-estrogens it contains of course Wink

mustbemad71 · 04/02/2015 14:00

Thanks for the welcome girls Grin

SMEP is bloody exhausting but did seem to help get me preggo last month.

What supps are you girls taking? Anyone on DHEA? I'm just on Boots His n Hers Conception Support with DP but wonder if I should be taking anything else when this ancient?!

cloudjumper · 04/02/2015 13:13

fridge The exact same thing happened to me this cycle - started SMEP with dtd on CD10, then got a really strong OPK on CD 11, which then meant we 'had' to dtd on CD11-13, 4 times in a row! I was exhausted and sore, but at least it meant that we literally threw everything at it that we had... I'd give it another go tonight, just so that you can sit back and relax in the knowledge that you have really maximised your chance. At least that 's what I am telling myself! (I did, though, pass on the final dtd you're meant to do 2 days after the 3x in a row, I just couldn't face it).

Welcome mustbe Sorry to hear about your chemical, hope you can recover quickly. These things can throw you, every BFP sets off such a rollercoaster of emotions.
Fibroids are apparently very common, a lot of women have one or more without ever finding out. Mine has never grown, not even when I pg with DS, but I agree - I'd rather have as much information about this as possible!

11DPO today, and I am symptom-spotting like mad... Thought I was starting to spot last night, but it didn't develop into anything. I am having a bit of cramping, which could of course mean that either AF is on the way or that I am pg, argh! Still resolved to not test until at least Saturday, I can't face the uncertainty of testing too early. Will try to keep really busy until the weekend (which is not a problem, lots to do at work and currently alone with DS while DH throws himself down some ski slopes in France).

OP posts:
Fridgedooropen · 04/02/2015 00:31

It’s been a busy time here. Had a very strong second line on an OPK on Sunday. Had planned to do my best to follow SMEP this month so that meant DTD for the next 3 nights – challenging but even more so because we’d DTD the night before (day 10 of my cycle). So we’ve now managed day 10, 11, and 12. Tonight we should technically aim for once more according to SMEP so I’m just deciding whether I can gather up the energy for that before a night off! I do take the point about this getting weary month after month. I don’t know whether I could keep this up over time, but I did promise myself I would if possible give it a shot this month. DH has been able to meet his part of the bargain Wink so we’ll see. I did another OPK last night and got a double line again, but it’s back to a single line tonight. So does that seem like ovulation’s likely to have happened now? The advice says 24-36 hours from when you first see the double line, I know.

Cloudjumper and joey, thanks for the temp info. I keep my thermometer under the tongue OK. My problem with temping is that I often get up to go to the bathroom in the early hours, meaning I don’t get enough of a block of sleep before I wake in the morning, and/or to go to DS if he wakes – he is good at sleeping through but does often wake early and I hear him, jump out of bed then remember, too late, about taking my temp. So I’ve been trying with my new thermometer as many days as I can, but have had some temps of 36.odd and a couple lower – one was 35.34! Googling ‘normal temperature’ suggests I have hypothermia but some other info says ‘normal’ has been considered as low as 33.2 so that makes me feel a little better. But I don’t think I am a foolproof temper by any means. I’m going to see if I can spot a rise in the next few days.

Hi seewothappens, mustbe and everyone else old and new.

fireflies the song that (I assume) inspires your name is a big fave here. DS loves to sing along to it.

10000Fireflies · 03/02/2015 23:30

Ah, grinch! Glad you're still around.

grizzer, mate, I will post the full tale when I am equipped with a keyboard again. This one finger typing is a real PITA.

Thanks all for kind words really appreciate it.

I got fed up taking all the supps and last months AF was much lighter. Perhaps was pverdoing them? Also, Angus Castus appears to have moved ov day on by a day or so and extended cycle. I think this is good?

Damn. DS awake. Better go. Back soon I hope. Ff xx

reni1 · 03/02/2015 22:32

Seewot- yes I have started using FF, just putting in temp, maybe I should record dtd as well. I am only cd6 today, first month temping. I am around 36.0-36.1, will see what the jump is. I thought I am a bit colder than I should be, but appears you are equally cool, joey. I can' do cm, I am unable to tell the difference between yesterday's semen and today's cm, sorry if tmi.

Do you find the opk or monitors tally with the temps? I ovulate early (sometimes cd9 or 10) and opk has the flashing smile already. Hi mustbe!

Grizzer · 03/02/2015 22:21

Welcome mustbe. Sorry to hear about chemical but a pg after only 2 months is really good & hopefully means it will happen again quickly.
I felt really 'periody' earlier. AF not due til 12th though so must be other things going on......

mustbemad71 · 03/02/2015 12:03

Hi girls please may I join? I'm 43 and TTC #3 with DP. Teenage DCs with ex. Got pg in January after only 2 cycles of TTC but had a chemical at the weekend.

Cloud I've got a large fibroid too - same size as yours but mine is on the outside of my uterus so I've Ben told that it won't impact getting pg although it will grow once pg! So sorry to hear about your mcs. I'm feeling pretty deflated about my chemical even though it was very early. I suppose this is just how it is in your forties and we need a decent egg to go all the way! Hope all goes well with your MRI.

Hopeful2015 · 03/02/2015 11:24

Hi grizzer yes Xmas eve, we are gutted but trying think positive, 2nd peak today on cbfm and Dtd x 2 last night and will again today.
Temping to but bit hit and miss as I don't sleep too well so always awake when alarm goes off. Not noticed ewcm but def is watery, never noticed ewcm tbh, sorry tmi.

joey38 · 03/02/2015 10:45

reni - I haven't actually managed to really stick to SMEP, so it's all a bit random. However, I do have an app on my phone where I log when we have dtd, so I can kind of see the pattern. Like you, I do wonder whether we stop too soon sometimes. I kind of get to ovulation, and then think, great, we can stop now, but I suppose you never know if you've got it completely spot on. It's just too tiring to keep it up for 2 weeks though!!

For those of you asking about temping, I can give you an example of my typical temps. Usually pre-ov they are around 36.15. Post ov they are around 36.50, so it's quite a noticeable jump. This morning mine was 36.44 which I think is my post ov jump, but you really need to have 3 consecutive days of a higher temp before you confirm ovulation. I'm pretty sure that's it for me though this month, as I had a smiley opk face a couple of days ago, so that timing would fit. We've managed to dtd 3 times in that window. Might see if we can get one more in tonight, then call it quits - phew!!!

Seewhat - I know exactly what you mean about pestering dh. Sometimes it's so frustrating - neither of us will feel like doing it, but I feel like I have to really convince him - it's just not fun!!

SeeWotHappens · 03/02/2015 09:35

Reni, do you use the fertility friend website/app? It's great for keeping track of temps, dtd etc

reni1 · 02/02/2015 22:03

Reading everybody's dtd schedule makes me think we might be stopping too early, we are often so exhausted come ovulation we stop.. I also wonder how much after the static smiley on the dual hormone opk ovulation occurs, I always took the smiley as max 24h from now. I have been temping, so we'll see. Joey - do you actually write down when to dtd with SMEP? I often find I lose track three days in... ICallHim the idea of a fridge full of wee made me chuckle. I think that's quite a heroic effort.

SeeWotHappens · 02/02/2015 20:56

Me and DH dtd cd 9, cd 11 and cd 13. I ovulated on cd 15. I know I should of done it cd 15 and cd 17 as well but I'd had a hard day at work and was knackered and just couldn't muster the energy on those two days. Also although DH has agreed to ttc I know he isn't as enthusiastic as me and I don't like to pester him too much. Ttc sex can just be so effing crap and soul destroying! 3 times in a week is pretty good going for us though. I've set myself a challenge to try and do it every 3 days up to AF and then every two days up to ov. Blush

wiltingfast · 02/02/2015 20:37

Hmm, I don't really know seewot, after the opk debacle I threw all my toys out of the pram and we only dtd cd12 and cd20 Blush. Cycle's been a bit of a movable feast lately too so might be dpo5 (like you!) or dpo7 assuming I ov'd at all

daftgeranium · 02/02/2015 20:30

cloud glad to hear that there's a positive doctor out there! :)

joey38 · 02/02/2015 18:37

Hi everyone! Thanks all for your support on Friday eve when dh was not well. As it happened, when I went up to bed, quite a while after him, as I assumed it wasn't going to happen, he was fully raring to go!! Bless him, I told him that he didn't have to do it as he really wasn't feeling well, but he said he could manage it, so we dtd on Friday, and again last night!! I had a positive opk yesterday, so we're good for timing, even though we haven't really managed the SMEP schedule. Will try and get another one in tomorrow!!

I've also seen my acupuncturist today, who is so lovely. She was saying that 18 months is not that long in the grand scheme of things, and that actually when you ruled out months when you weren't able to do it at the right time, or someone wasn't feeling well, plus probably a couple of months of non-ovulation etc, it's really much less than 18 months of trying!! She said she couldn't see any reason why I wouldn't get pg naturally. I felt quite positive after seeing her.

Still doing temps and they've not gone up yet, so got to keep going for a few more days!! Hi and good luck to everyone in the fertile zone and/or the 2ww.

Grizzer · 02/02/2015 18:29

Welcome Seewot & hopeful. Sorry about mcs. Christmas Eve Hopeful? It's always awful but that must have been hard (hope I read that right, can't scroll back & check!)
Very positive news Cloud. Surely anything out of the ordinary like a large fibroid should be investigated if you are having recurrent mcs. Glad you've got a supportive doc.
I'm trying not to count the days too much (7 or 8 dpo Grin) but I'm already convincing myself I've got 'tingles' in my abdomen & looking for other symptoms. I just can't help it!
Sorry to hear about your dad FF but looking forward to the gory details of the dtd disaster (I'm working on the theory that's it's a funny story rather than an awful one - apologies for insensitivity if not xx)

SeeWotHappens · 02/02/2015 17:50

Sorry to hear about your dad fireflies, hope you feel better soon.

Cloud, that all sounds really positive. I have everything crossed for you this weekend!

Hi wilting, 5dpo for me, how about you?

Big waves to all.

DrDiva · 02/02/2015 17:07

fireflies lovely to see you! I am the poster formerly known as Grinch, under a (hopefully) cheerier name. It sounds like you have had am awful lot of stress to deal with. Thanks Hope you are getting some you time as well.
cloud sometimes I think it just helps to have someone listen sincerely and take you seriously. And then do something practical to help. Sounds like a good consultant to have on side.

10000Fireflies · 02/02/2015 16:07

Hello all. Been doing some very lame lurking this past day or so, but haven't assimilated much, though did notice drdiva saying hi, so waves back. (are you a n/c I've missed?). My Dad's been v ill so have been occupied with that and all it ensues, plus been working on major house renovations and admin for DS at his nursery, oh and have the annual nasty cold with accompanying knackeredness and razor blade sore throat. As for ttc, been making feeble efforts and had one so-bad fail you wouldn't believe. You couldn't have made it up. More some other time. Time to get DS up otherwise he'll be up till 10pm again.

Waves to all.

wiltingfast · 02/02/2015 13:16

Thanks Dr Diva, have put them with my face wash now so hopefully that will work.

I must've just missed it somehow Grizzer, shouldn't rely on it as a dtd indicator so much I guess!

This month a total washout anyway... sigh

Cloud, that all sounded v positive! It is v reassuring to feel he is fully assess ALL your circumstances and presentation. Fx for you.

Welcome SeeWot! Our history sounds similar, hope you have a better month than me!

cloudjumper · 02/02/2015 13:11

fridge For me, the temp shift at ovulation is usually around 0.5-0.6 degrees, over the course of 2-3 days (ie. the temp starts going up the day after I ovulate, keeps rising for a few days and then stays up until my progesterone either dips again, which means AF is on the way, or it continues to stay up, which (in most cases) means that I am pg... So with temping, you can't predict ovulation very well (unless you have reliable cycles and/or also monitor your cm), but it really accurately pinpoints your ov day once is has happened. It takes a while to get your head around it all, but I find it very useful (I use OPKs in parallel, just to make sure I don't miss ov, as my cycles have changed in the last year and I often ovulate earlier than expected).
Regarding your low readings, where do you keep the thermometer when you take your temp? I read somewhere that the best place is under the tongue... I regularly fall asleep again while I take my temp, which often results in the thermometer falling out of my mouth... Oh the glory.

Welcome all newbies, glad that you have found is, the more the merrier!

I had the appointment with the consultant last week about my recurring miscarriages - and encouragingly, he never once even hinted that I am mad/stupid/deluded trying to have another baby at 43! He did agree that time is not on my side, though, which I completely agree with.
It was very good to talk through everything in great detail, he was very matter of fact and down to earth, which is what I wanted.
As expected, nothing can be done to prevent the chromosomal abnormalities from happening. However, in spite of having had 4 mcs now, he was still very positive that I have a decent chance of a healthy pregnancy. Plus, he was very interested in the fact that I have a very big fibroid - this was discovered when I was pg with DS, but has never caused any issues in that pregnancy, and everyone always tells me that due to its position, it also won't affect any future pregnancies. The consultant, however, really wants to look at this in more detail - apparently, fibroids can cause mcs, and mine is substantial (10 cm). So now I will be getting an MRI scan to get a better idea about this.
I felt very reassured after all this, no miracle cures, but I didn't expect any. But at least something is being done, even if it's 'just' another box that will be ticked.

I am in the 2ww, though, 9 DPO today, will be testing on Saturday or Sunday... Honestly, after this shag-athon, I better be pg! Grin

OP posts:
Hopeful2015 · 02/02/2015 12:16

Hi can I join please, I'm 41, DS 23, DD 18, DD 12 and mc 24/12/14. Using cbafm and had my 1st peak so Dtd when other half gets home. Ttc was never this hard with ant my other pregnancies.

DrDiva · 01/02/2015 20:25

I vowed not to let this thread fall off my Threads I'm On, and lo and behold, it did today! [ shock] Fortunately I found you all again.

wilting I keep forgetting abut taking vitamins too. Someone suggested attaching it to something else I do every day, like washing my face, and put the tablets with the washcloth or something. I might try it, if only out of forgetful desperation!

Joey we've missed the right time a couple of times too, (I have always known when I ovulate, as it feels like someone is punching me in the ovaries)l I have to admit to crying the second time Blush . It felt for a while as if we were not on the same page about ttc, but we have had a talk, and things are much better, so we are up and at it again! It was partly because DH had the wrong idea about when and how menopause happens - he thought that it was a tap turning off at about 44, so there was no hope at all - I put him straight!

Wow, there seem to be a lot of us 45ers here (waves at fireflies in case she is lurking). Good luck to us all!

Welcome see Smile

ICallHimGerald · 01/02/2015 19:36

grizzer for the clearblue trial I have to provide lots of wee samples! I'm not sure what else I have to do. I've been accepted but just waiting to get all the information. Have a quick Google and you can find the details