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Conception

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Original poster

Angels and Rainbows - remembering our angels and praying for rainbows

995 replies

missalexandra · 09/09/2014 18:16

New thread ladies, hope it brings us all good luck.

OP posts:
CritterPants · 08/10/2014 16:42

blue hoping you have your little one in your arms now… thinking of you lots.

missalex and kayleigh thank you both so much for your kind words. I am really grateful to have three little frosties left - we will put back one this cycle, and if that doesn't take, put in the last two together. And then if that doesn't work, another fresh round. I will get there eventually, we all will, just a long road.

ducky sorry to hear you've been back in hospital.

lake hope you are doing ok. Good news that you can start thinking about TTC soon although I know it will bring its own stresses and worries.

ruby hope your second little girl is thriving. I know you must miss her big sister so much.

earth thank you for thinking of me. Flowers

All good here, the rescue dog is bringing me a lot of pleasure and amusement with his floppy ears, big ears, squirrel obsession and enjoyment of belly rubs and cozy snoozing. Sending love to everyone else - how are you all doing?

Original poster
missalexandra · 08/10/2014 15:51

Blue sending rainbow vibes x

Ducky I'm 32 and a half weeks now and still havent felt a set pattern either. Like Earth says, it also helps me to jot down for a few days every single time I feel movement, and when I get into an anxious moment I look at the 'journal' and realise that there HAVE been a similar amount of movement but as soon as you get nervous your mind goes blank and you just cannot remember when the last one was. But there ARE days when he moves less, definitely. Its normal to be worried right from day one until we get a live healthy baby in our arms so dont beat yourself up over it x

OP posts:
EarthWindAnd9 · 08/10/2014 14:01

Well hopefully from this point on the movements will become stronger and more regular. I was obsessed with spotting a pattern, but I don't think I ever really had one. Do you write movements down/ use the ctk app? I wrote everything down and sometimes when I was in a state in the evenings thinking I hadn't had much movement I would read back and see that actually he had moved just as much as the last couple of days, so it was my mind playing tricks on me/anxiety getting the better of me. Hugs to you, it is hard x

Ducky23 · 08/10/2014 12:23

Am 29 weeks now Confused I know it's still early to be getting worried but I have found it a lot more difficult than I thought I would Hmm

EarthWindAnd9 · 08/10/2014 12:12

Ducky, I'm sorry about your anxiety, how many weeks are you now? I hope the scan helps a bit.

Rubyshoe · 08/10/2014 11:42

Blue that's brilliant news. Will be keeping everything crossed (you probably shouldn't!) that everything moves quickly for you and you are having beautiful rainbow cuddles later today x

LakeOfDreams · 08/10/2014 10:15

How exciting hope it all goes smoothly blue

EarthWindAnd9 · 08/10/2014 09:18

That's brilliant Blue, fingers crossed it all goes smoothly and fairly quickly.

Ducky23 · 08/10/2014 09:15

So exiting blue!! GrinGrinGrin

BlueSkyandRain · 08/10/2014 08:54

Just updating to distract myself. Having some contractions, gonna break my waters soon. Hopefully not too long now...
(((Hugs))) for the anxiety ducky

Ducky23 · 08/10/2014 08:22

Have missed out on so much on here! Just checking in, thinking of you blue x

Have been having problems with movement anxiety again and ended up back in hospital Confused they're sending me for a scan for reassurance ConfusedConfused

Waves to everyone x

kayleighferrie1985 · 07/10/2014 22:46

critter the pooch sounds lovely. I'm glad you're feeling a bit brighter and will keep my fingers crossed for your frostie

blue thank you for keeping us updated, i will continue to keep you in my thoughts, and i hope you manage to get some rest before things start

Thanks MissA i agree, some people are cowards. I appreciate that some people might not want to say anything in case they cause an upset, but personally i think referring to our babies as "traumas" or "what happened" is all the more upsetting (and i find it disrespectful too.) Jessie has been amazing for the most part about Ben, but she does have the odd "wobbly" day, which i fully understand. We'd had a cuddle when she'd gotten upset the other night and she was ok afterwards, and she's had a lovely party tonight with friends from school. Sorry to hear you're getting conflicting advice of your doctors, as you say it's disconcerting. I'll be thinking of you also tomorrow.

Waves to ruby, owl, ducky, mademoiselle, earth, betty, atm spaniel and lake xx

Original poster
missalexandra · 07/10/2014 20:51

Blue great to hear there is lots of wriggling going on to reassure you. Just a few more hours and she will be snuggling in your arms. Rest as much as you can before the real action begins Smile

Kayleigh your Mums comments about Ben being "a trauma" make me so cross. Unfortunately I too seem to be hearing more and more often A being referred to as "what happened". Cowards. Its very sad to hear the Jessie is missing her brother, its so hard to know how affected children are by this type of loss isnt it? I suppose it depends a lot on the personality of the child. Hope she had a nice birthday

Ruby glad to hear there is lots of cuddling going on! I keep getting lots of (unasked for) advice about how to handle a new baby and how to not "spoil" him by picking him up a lot etc. After 9 years and all this heartache do they seriously think I will miss one instant of cuddling him whenever I can Hmm Has the next-to-me cot been a success? Is E still gaining weight?

Lake I think its best to just block people like your colleague for a while. Its very hard not to look when its so in-your-face and can only be upsetting. I'm sure the people who put flowers on E's grave just wanted to make a kind gesture, though I can imagine how it made you feel and I agree about there being nothing worse than seeing dead floweres on a grave, makes it even more sad somehow.

Critter so glad you are starting to feel a bit brighter. Fostered/adopted dogs are very special they give so much more than they get. We fostered a completely blind/deaf/ancient little terrier from the local shelter, she looked as if she was on her last legs and was being bullied by all the bigger dogs so I wanted to make her last days comfortable. She ended up living with us for over two years in the lap of luxury until she finally passed away, but she helped me through some very tough times. Best of luck with your frosties, nowadays they say the success rate is just as good as with fresh.

AFM saw both endocrinologists about the macrosmia, one of them says I need to start insulin, the other one says I dont, and the obstetrician is sitting on the fence and wants me back in for more monitoring tomorrow before she decides. Its a bit disconcerting that three professionals cant decide on something when its directly affecting the baby already. Will just have to wait and see what the obstet says tomorrow I suppose.

Hello to Earth, Ducky, Owl, Madem, Betty, ATM, Spaniel and everyone else, hope you are all doing ok x

OP posts:
BlueSkyandRain · 07/10/2014 17:52

Hello all thanks for thinking of me, sorry I have no news yet - we're on the second pessary, no sign of anything happening still. But she's still wriggling and the most I have to complain about is being a bit bored (well other than crapping myself about what might happen next) so that's something.

Your little dog sounds lovely critter and glad you've got another frostie to have another try xx

EarthWindAnd9 · 07/10/2014 16:15

Critter, your strength and positivity is really inspirational. Lucky little pooch coming to live with you! x

EarthWindAnd9 · 07/10/2014 16:14

Just checking in to see how Blue is doing x

CritterPants · 07/10/2014 15:23

Quick message to send good luck wishes to blue, sending you and your little wriggler all the love and luck in the world. Flowers I can imagine how terrifying this time must be.

Hello and tight hugs to everyone else, I am emerging from the tent of gloom. We are fostering a little dog this week and he has really cheered me up, he's super gentle and sweet. Starting a new frozen cycle now with another transfer towards the end of the month, not holding out much hope but really grateful to have the chance.

Original poster
missalexandra · 07/10/2014 14:45

Blue been thinking of you all day, hope everything is going smoothly and maybe you already have your new rainbow additon to the Blue family...sending big hugs and love to you all xx

OP posts:
LakeOfDreams · 07/10/2014 13:20

Thinking of you blue hope everything goes well

OwlinaTree · 07/10/2014 07:32

Thinking of youblue.

Rubyshoe · 07/10/2014 05:52

Thinking of you today Blue. Your little one will be in your arms before you know it. You have been so brave, stay strong x

kayleighferrie1985 · 06/10/2014 22:45

Thanks ruby it does help to hear those reassuring words regarding the spots. I'm currently waging war on my face, armed with my trusty anti-blemish exfoliating pads Grin

blue thanks for your words of reassurance also. I'm feeling a bit better than last week, still disheartened if i'm honest but trying not to let it get me down too much. I'll also be thinking of you tomorrow- sending love.

AFM well today is DD's (Jessie) birthday, yet another thing Ben isn't here for. Poor Jessie had a little cry on me when i was putting her to bed because she said she missed Ben :( all i could do was hug her, and tell her that we all miss him. I have to admit that while i'm scared about another pregnancy for my own reasons, i'm worried also about how Jess will cope, as she's old enough to understand about Ben and she's such a worrier at the best of times Hmm

Waves to all xx

EarthWindAnd9 · 06/10/2014 19:17

Blue, I really feel for you, I was spared "the final night" because my waters went 3 days early, I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling. Keep wiggling little one, try and keep mummy calm tonight. I'll be thinking of you tonight and tomorrow Blue. Sending huge amounts of strength and love your way, you can do it.

BlueSkyandRain · 06/10/2014 17:52

Thanks for thinking of me guys - you're right earth I've just been keeping my head down and trying to get through the time. Sorry not to post, have become a recluse irl as well as on here! The anxiety has really ramped up - keep thinking how awful if I lost her now, at the 11th hr. I have this weird idea whenever anyone asks how I am that if I say ok then it'll all go wrong afterwards. Can't even post it - but right now she's wriggling, I can manage that much. Finding the nights so hard to get through, only one more thankfully.

kayleigh your hormones sound just like mine - I need antibiotics normally but when pg my skin is so much better. Hope you're feeling a bit better as af ends, I know I always do.

Lake I'm sure they didn't think you'd neglected E's grave, they probably just felt sad someone else is in the early stages of grief and wanted to express that in some way iyswim? We bought some crocus bulbs to plant on E's grave so they'll come up each year around his birthday, although as I can't bend atm we havent planted them yet. I think I'll feel ok about those flowers dying as I know they'll come up again the next year.

missalex so sorry there's yet another thing to worry about with this pg. I know what you mean about wanting them out before the stage your loss was at - my consultant was very firm tho that we should do whatever is actually best for this baby which I understand, but bloody hell it's difficult, isn't it?! I lurked on a thread about prematurity a few weeks ago, which helped me a lot actually - people posted about the probs their babies had and how it's always assumed that prem babies will be fine once they're out of scbu etc, but many were saying there are ongoing probs and worries. Helped me keep going for her sake even tho its been harder for me iyswim.

Will post with any news as soon as I can... Really scared it'll be bad news tho, can't let my self hope otherwise. Waves to all x

EarthWindAnd9 · 06/10/2014 17:20

Hi Blue, I'm thinking of you, is tomorrow the day?
I hope we haven't heard from you because you are just keeping your head down trying to get through the days. Praying that you are cuddling your rainbow soon x

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