Angels and Rainbows - remembering our angels and praying for rainbows

So glad you are home missA must have been so hard seeing your little man so sick.

Hoping for the best for your little bean Critter.

Madem my DH has become obsessed with OPKs and my cycle in general. Makes it so hard as it breaks my heart to see him so disappointed when AF comes. I keep trying to get him to relax about it but he is taking it very personally doesn't help his ego that we conceived E the first month of trying. I've thrown all of it out and told him I don't want to talk about my cycle at all.

I'm exhausted being back at work but enjoying it as well

Missa, what fantastic news. We have all been rooting for you! How worrying this must have all been. I am so relieved that you can finally be home with your little Rainbow baby and start to enjoy life with him in it x

Great news to hear you're back home MissA and that your son is better, although i can appreciate how worrying it must have been for you and your DH at the time. It sounds like the hospital staff were on the ball too, which is brilliant xx

So glad you are home MissA x

Great to hear you are home now and you are both doing well. I still look at baby owl and can't believe he's mine.

Sending you all hugs and a big kiss for your beautiful boy.

Missa! Lovely news great to hear he is home safe! X

missalex Hurrah! Massive massive congratulations, so glad he is safely home, what a stressful worrying start, I hope you're getting lots of newborn snuggles and being looked after as you recover from your c section.

critter so sorry things aren't going as straightforward as hoped, and that you've got this extra stress (which i'm sure is doing you no good at all), i really hope bean continues to hang on. Sending hugs.

madem well done for doing so well without using opks, cbfm and thermometers. I'm much like you at the moment, just going to take my chances. Knowing me it'll probably happen when i least expect it (like around my birthday- which is usually when i get totally sloshed and generally make a disgrace out of myself haha)

Love to all xx

Thanks guys, that makes sense. The people around me are trying to keep me busy and take my mind off the anxiety I bet they all can't wait until I've had this baby!

X

• and in my WORLD (not work)

Oh gosh Critter - what a terribly difficult time for you. I am so sorry. You seem like such a wonderful and kind, caring person and I cannot believe that this is happening to you. Life is so incredibly unfair. I'm holding you very tight in my thoughts.

MissA I really hope all is well with you and your rainbow. Big (gentle) hugs to you both.

kayleigh what an incredible achievement. What a wonderful person you are for actually organising the whole thing!

ducky not long at all now. I can only concur with what was said (sorry, on phone, can't scroll back to check by whom!) about the 12w size being used as a benchmark. It probably isn't what you want to hear at all, I am aware of that too. I can only imagine how anxious you must be feeling. How are you filling your days?

lake how are you?

tulip , everything ok?

owl your comment about the cbfm not making us pg made me chuckle. You're so right! But I've always been a planner and a "good girl" (apart from when I was a bad girl, tehee!) and in my work, doing all the right things towards something, working hard etc equates getting the results. So the lack of control over the results is a complete shock to me. I can't deal with not being in control. At all. Well... Except of course I have to. I'm taking this whole journey as one big (unnecessary) lesson in humility, patience and "letting go"-ness. In French they say "le lacher-prise" and it's literally that: letting go. That's what I need to do, as I know that's what's holding me back. But as we all know... Easier said than done! But I'm on the right track: cd 5 and not an opk, cbfm or thermometer in sight

Wishing you all gentle evenings. Big big hugs (((critter)))

Ps: betty how are you doing?

((Hugs)) critter, I'm sorry it's not straight forward :(

Ducky - I think the size at 12wks (ish) is meant to be best for estimating gestation - later on there's much more variation in size. I measured a week or two less than I actually was, but my babies are always small (& once the size was plotted on my individual graph it was closer to the average expected for me as I'm small too - but size at 12 wks is less affected by that iyswim? Not sure I'm making sense...). Anywat I think they'll stick with the original estimation of your due date, sorry, I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear. But means your baby is growing well - a v good thing :)

Thinking of you missa, hope you're both back home safely

Waves to all x

Oh critter really really hope everything goes well fri. Could they not identify where the bleeding was coming from? X

Kayleigh that is an amazing achievement, well done you for doing that.

Thinking of Missalex and her baby boy.

Ducky good luck tomorrow, I hope they can give some clarity on the dates.

Had another big bleed with bad cramps last night and thought it was all over and that I was about to miscarry. I was (and am still) beside myself. A straightforward pregnancy would be hard enough without the threat of recurrent mc... Scan today showed bean is still clinging on but it's touch and go. Doctor said 50:50 chance. I have another scan Friday unless I lose it before then.

ducky the bereavement nurse we saw has also told us she'll be available to support us through another pregnancy, in her own words "the care doesn't stop just because you're expecting again" which i think is a good way to look at it.

critter how did your appointment go? Thinking of you xx

I know I found the bereavement midwife played a massive role in helping me through such a difficult time, and even this pg she has always been there she sorted out all my cons appts and things.

How did it go today critter, have been thinking of you x

Hope you and your little man are doing well missa x

I thought id ask a question as I'm guessing people with their lovely rainbows may be able to shed some light. Last time I went for a scan I was 32+5, that is based on my 12 week scan, there was a lot of confusion at first as I have very very irregular periods, there was a trainee sonogropher in the room and I noticed when she was taking her measurements there was numbers coming up in the corner saying how many weeks along the measurements work out to be. all the measurements se took said 34 weeks but my due date has not been changed. does anyone know what this could mean? If that's correct it would mean I'm 37 weeks now and if thts true I want my induction moved!

Am going to check at my apt tomorrow but just wanted to know if anyone on here knew anything about it.

Waves and hugs to everyone x

That's terrible ducky, i don't think there was a bereavement midwife at my hospital, however all of the midwives i had (there were 5 due to shift changes ect) were so lovely and sensitive. There was however a bereavement nurse who we met with when we registered Ben, and she's also lovely. I can honestly say i truly feel for those 2 women who went through that experience without that support x

That's awful ducky. How sad that such a role is not valued.

That's excellent Kayleigh! I was wanting to do a fundraiser for the hospital I was at, they had an amazing bereavement suite and provide memory boxs, baby clothes and things like that but never did as I never really knew how to go about it.

They have since decided 'they don't need' a bereavement midwife at the hospital and have got rid of her as there is usually only around 5-6 sb there each year they are meant to call someone in if a stillbirth happens, one of the midwifes told me that since gettig rid of the bm there has been 2 stillbirths, no one has been there to support either of the ladies

Thanks owl people keep saying well done to me, and i feel a bit of a fraud, because i only organised it, it was the pubs customers who bought raffle tickets ect that raised the money. I'll be organising another one though, but i think i'll start planning it more in advance so it's not such a rush around x

Congratulations kayleigh that's a brilliant achievement!

critter i've been thinking of you lots, and i'll be keeping my fingers crossed for tomorrow

AFM the SANDS charity night i held on Friday was a roaring success, and we raised over £500, so i'm thrilled! I didn't get to bed until 3am Saturday, but it was so worth it. And the best bit is the landlords of the pub we held it in are more than happy for us to hold future fundraisers there too, which is lovely of them

Love to all xx

Hey ladies, no more news from me... Bleeding has stopped (but it was a lot, with clots and cramps) after the clinic prescribed me additional progesterone injections. MrC has to do them - the needle is massive and they're intramuscular so you get them in the top of the bum - but they seem to have prevented more bleeding so far so I am thinking next round I will ask to have the injections from the start. Won't know anything more until Monday. Just trying to remember there is nothing I can do to influence the outcome for this bean. The combo of infertility, ivf, neonatal loss and miscarriage has been pretty traumatising. But am doing ok.

Ducky hope the anxiety is manageable. You are on the homestretch.

How is everyone else doing? Thinking of you brave ladies climbing this mountain one step at a time.

I haven't heard anything else Ducky so I hope they're both ok.

Critter, I've been thinking of you too x